Alright so Legend of Zelda 4 Life! Yes, this is DEFINITELY yaoi but with bits of non-con which is what this story is all about! I'm just trying to make Grimmjow as sexy as possible in this while doing justice to the other sexy beasts of Bleach XD see, I can't imagine Aizen not being a Grimmjow sex craving maniac, Kenpachi as a freaking child molester, Ulquiorra being emotionless and caring at the same time and Ichigo being a babe magnet! THIS is MY AU of Bleach!^^ So I hope you like!

Oh! And this is to clear up some age problems that I've finally managed to sort out in my head! I'll be fixing it in the story shortly!

Grimmjow is 18; Ggio is 12; their otosan left when Grimm was 13 and Ggio was 6 so he doesn't remember their otosan much! I hope everything's clear if there were any issues with age! Now, on with the story!

Rule no. 11: Expect the unexpected

'We have arrived at your abode, Grimmjow Jaguerjack,' Ulquiorra uttered as he hit the break so that the limo stopped smoothly. I glanced at the window to hide the fact that I was disappointed to be home. Well, maybe he was more relieved to see me leave since I had been bugging him nonstop with random question like, 'Is it easy to get laid being a thug and all?' and 'Do you even have time for girls?' and the worst being, 'So how big is your-?' He didn't let me finish that one.

'Yeah, well,' I struggled to say to prolong my time with him-I mean, the limo! Duh! I've never been in a limo so it's pretty cool and all and-okay now I'm just sounding lame. Back to the current situation.

'Thanks, Ulquiorra,' I finally managed to say since I was also fighting to keep the blush threatening to override my face. The man raised an eyebrow.

'It is my duty to escort you home,' he said coolly. 'No need for .'

'No! I mean, you've done more than that and-!'

'Grimmjow?'

I stopped talking and saw the intense look in his eyes that set my heart pounding. Before I could even move, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes widened and my immediate impulse was to push him away and jump out the car.

But I kissed him back instead.

It felt so good. He tasted like peppermint candy cane on Christmas. I dunno, but candy cane just tasted better on Christmas.

It felt like our lips had only touched for a brief moment because I was back to looking at him and he was smiling like…like an angel. (oh fuck, I sound like a fucking GIRL)

'That…' I gasped. 'That was so…unreal…'

'I'm not surprised,' he said matter-of-factly as he returned to grip the steering wheel. 'This is a dream after all.'

I think I heard a car crash somewhere in the distance. My jaw dropped.

What?

I jumped out of my bed, which was actually a mattress on the floor, and slammed my knee into Ggio's bed. I clamped a hand over my mouth to muffle the scream and hopped about for a good minute until the pain subsided. I closed my eyes and heaved a deep sigh to relax myself.

That was some dream. But it felt so fucking REAL! Did it actually happen that I decided to dream about it? No. Did something remotely close to it happen last night that I was forced to dream about it? Nope.

So what happened? Oh yeah. 'Bye, Ulquiorra. I'll see ya around!' And he went all dark and serious and said, 'Farewell, Grimmjow Jaguerjack. I will be responsible for transporting you to and from my director's home from now on. I will contact you via this cellphone when he requires your services. (he handed me a Blackberry. A FUCKING BLACKBERRY CURVE! But I acted all cool when he gave it. I mean, I couldn't come off as some squealing kid now, could I?) And I suppose you may contact me if you wish.'

Was there something else behind that statement? I'm a literature student. I should be pretty good at reading between lines. But Ulquiorra's phrases always had a danger of having a double meaning! Was he being an enemy or a friend? Or was he being an enemy to hide the fact that he was actually a friend? See? Pretty confusing, right? God, could he stop talking in riddles and be straightforward for once?

I ran a hand through my hair as I looked out the window. The sun had finally decided to make an appearance. Should wake Ggio up for school now. After that, I went to check up on okachan. Sleeping peacefully as usual.

I rarely saw her up these days. It worried me in the beginning but Dr. Unohana told me it was part of the treatment. It would exhaust okachan as her body was trying to use the drugs given to her to help her heal. I didn't tell Dr. Unohana this but I was skeptical about the treatment. It was expensive, true, but that was only 'cause it was so risky. The patient might experience new problems as the body healed and new problems wasn't exactly good for a sick woman like okachan. So whenever I'd see her, my body would tremble and I'd have vivid images of the bed being empty the next time I saw it.

I didn't want everything I'd sacrificed to go to waste. I didn't want to know that I was being screwed by a good for nothing sick bastard just to watch my okachan die quickly. I tried as hard as I could to convince myself that she was going to live; she was a survivor. But the more I tried to convince myself, the more I knew that I was lying to myself. I was just glad that Ggio hadn't asked me about okachan yet. Or maybe he wanted too but was too scared to say anything. Can't blame him. Wish I had the choice of being oblivious of all the hurt, pain and heartache one's fucked up life can give 'em.

Speaking of fucked up, guess who I met outside Seireitie Academy? Yep, the man whore himself, Kurosaki Ichigo. He didn't bother to acknowledge me. He just slipped his arm around a girl with purple clown make-up and a bomb blast for a hairstyle and pecked her cheek. But he still watched me walk away from the corner of his eye. I just bared my teeth at him like a ticked off panther. Though I did wave to Peanut when she smiled at me. Ichigo saw that and gave me a dagger look. Like fuck I cared I'm just glad I pissed him off. God, it still fucking bugs me that he has dozens of girls falling for him yet he'd throw a tantrum if any guy was too friendly with Peanut. And people say I'm the fucked up mess of a dysfunctional family.

My feet were actually taking me to school today. I was just not in the mood to study. I mean, screw that Kenpachi might or might not be there! Though I gotta admit, it was freaking me out just a bit. But let's face it, school's a fucking drag. And I'm just fucked up. Do I really need to be educated in why I'm fucked up?

'Heyyyy, Grimmy! Long time no see, huh?' hissed a voice behind me and pulled me back from my backpack. I was actually half way up the stairs to the school entrance when the bastard yanked on my bag and I was just glad I hadn't fallen headfirst.

'What the bloody fuck-!' I swore as I turned around and froze when I saw the looming beanpole of a teen towering above me. His single eye glittered with an evil spark of its own.

'Didja miss me?' Nnoitra purred.

'Fuck you,' I growled and wrenched my bag out of his claw-like hand so that I faced him. 'On the contrary, it felt kinda good not to have a perv trying to get me to join him in a game of 'Who's Got Better Tits?'.'

'C'mon! Don't tell me you didn't miss that!' Nnoitra said in mock hurt and then laughed insanely. Nope, can't say I missed anything about this motherfucker.

'We got class and you got some catching up to do,' I uttered. 'Plus, Kenpachi's been out for a couple of days too and I'm hoping today would be another lucky day!'

'I heard about that! You won't believe this, but I heard it's 'cause a hooker had robbed him of everything! Dude, what the hell was he doing with a hooker in the first place? And they say I'm the perv!'

'Dude, no offense, okay no wait hell yeah I mean to offend, but you are one,' I pointed out.

He clutched his heart mockingly and staggered backwards.

'You just broke my heart, Grimmy!' he croaked and pretended to faint dramatically with a hand over his head. I just rolled my eyes and walked past him up the stairs once more.

'Doncha wanna know why I'd been gone for so long?' he suddenly said when I had reached the entrance.

'I do wanna know what the hell makes you think I would care what you do when you ditch school?' I snapped at him. 'Buzz off, Nnoitra. I got a life.'

'I wouldn't deny that, Grimmy!' Nnoitra giggled. Nnoitra never laughed like that. It's usually pretty loud and in your face. But this one sounded all sneaky and mysterious. Like he knew a secret about something. I felt a weird sensation in the pit of my stomach.

'What the hell are you getting at, Nnoitra?' I murmured.

'I dunno, Grimmy, maybe you can tell me,' Nnoitra sang. I turned around to see him grinning like a kid who got just what he wanted for his birthday.

'Cut the crap, Nnoitra, and tell what the hell you're blabbering about!' I spat, my anger and fear building up.

'Elementary, my dear Grimmy, I've been doing research,' Nnoitra said knowingly and folded his arms behind his back.

'Woah…dude, I'm shocked.'

'You better be, Grimmy!'

'You had a brain?'

His grin slipped now and he glared at me. I just cocked an eyebrow. If he was going to torment me like this I had every right to diss him as much as I liked.

'Don't fuck with me, Grimmjow, I know your secret! I know who you are!' Nnoitra uttered threateningly. I sneered at him. He better be bluffing or I'm in deep, deep shit.

'At first I was like, how the hell is this bastard making the dough he needs while still going to school during the day?' Nnoitra ranted while keeping eye contact with me. 'Maybe he worked extra shifts waiting tables during the weekends. Car washes? I even went as far as to think you were that stuck up carrot head's bitch for cash!'

Jesus Christ, thank God I stopped talking to Ichigo! No way did I want to be classified with those whores literally begging him to have sex with them! But Nnoitra hadn't gotten to the point of all this yet…

'But when you stopped talking to him, I realized it was something else. You're not stupid, I'll give ya credit for that. You're a fucking terrific athlete with a rock'in body and your face ain't that bad to look at either so-!'

'Nnoitra, if this is some crazy, and creepy, way of telling me that you're in love with me then I'm warning you I've kicked your ass once I can do it again!'

'Shut the fuck up! You're ruining my mojo! The point is, Grimmjow Jaguerjack, I know-!'

'THEN WOULD YOU GET TO THE FUCKING POINT?'

'You're a stripper!' Nnoitra said proudly. I swear, cars were crashing a lot these days even if they were hypothetically in my brain.

'Uhhhhhh…' I stuttered.

'You had me going for a second! I didn't have clue of what you did!' Nnoitra gloated. I was skeptical about how stupid he was before but MAN he's a DUMBASS! Was he oblivious of the look of disbelief on my face?

'But I knew, that whatever it was, Grimmjow didn't want anyone finding out and what else could it have been but going to a strip club and shaking it for some cash! Hey! What're you laughing about?'

I was shaking hard with laughter. Here I was thinking that Nnoitra finally got it. He finally figured out what I do at night. I thought I was done for and he was going to tell the school and get me expelled. I was freaking out for nothing! He coulda gotten proof if he thought I was a hooker since the school would've investigated it but saying that I was a stripper? He's got nothing on me if he planned on playing that card!

'What the hell is so goddamn funny, Jaguerjack?' Nnoitra snarled as he stalked up the stairs.

'Jesus Christ, Nnoitra, I thought you couldn't do shit but I guess I shoulda had more faith in you!' I chuckled. 'You can't do jack shit!'

'You better shut the fuck up, Grimmjow, or I'm gonna tell the principal what I found out about you!' Nnoitra growled.

'Go ahead! Hey! Maybe I can get out of it if I give her a striptease! What do you think?'

I know I was going too far with this but it was fucking insane! Well, maybe I'd gone insane. I wouldn't be surprised. But I could see Nnoitra was getting pissed off and it was not helping cool the adrenaline running throughout my body. I was in the fucking mood of just pissing someone off and right now, Nnoitra was giving me the perfect opening. Though I shoulda remembered that he hates to be mocked so brutally like this. I mean, I insult him on a daily basis but I've never gone this far to turn his joke against him. I mean, that's just downright mean, isn't it? Who would do something like that to a sensitive soul like Nnoitra?

'So, Nnoitra, do you want a lap dance or are ya fine with me just tearing off my clothes?'

Fuck that. Like I give a damn about him. But I do give a damn about my face. So when he launched a fist at it, I knew that the smart thing to do would be to duck, twist away and slam a fist right back. It's only fair. He tried to hurt me first!

'You son of a…' he wheezed as he clutched the side of his face angrily and tried to locate me. I stepped to the side and nailed him in the gut this time. He keeled forward and grabbed the hand rail on the side of the stairs to stop himself from falling face first.

Seizing the opportunity, I sailed in a right hook on his chest but he suddenly grabbed my fist and yanked my arm behind my back. I howled out in pain as I felt my muscles literally strain on their tendons to prevent being torn off my bones.

'Fuck you, Nnoitra!' I hissed and tried to pull away but he held firm. When he refused to let go I karate-chopped his stomach and he groaned, loosening his grip. I quickly pulled away and jabbed a finger in his eye. Okay, that was low. Whatever. I don't give a fuck anymore.

'GRIMMJOW JAGUERJACK!'

Both of us swiveled away from each other and saw the fucking pirate in the flesh. And he was smiling that shit eating grin of his.

'Damn! It feels good to be back!' he roared.

I angrily stomped down the sidewalk, muttering a stream of curses and even making some up when I ran out. I almost tripped over a pebble. Pissed, I turned around and kicked the pebble as hard as I could. Still boiling, I hurled my bag at the brick wall of a shop and followed it up with my feet and fists. I kicked and punched until I was completely spent and collapsed on the sidewalk. I draped my hands over my knees and then placed my head between them. I breathed heavily, letting out shuddering breaths as I tried to calm the fire raging inside me. I didn't cry. It was pointless. I mean, I shoulda seen this coming! If Kenpachi saw me acting up in school one more time, he said he'd get me kicked out. I should be grateful it was just suspension. But it was still fucking unfair!

I snorted. Seriously? That was the best I could come up with? It was 'unfair'? Get a fucking grip, I was being fucked by a psychopath, my okachan was on the deathbed and after meeting an old friend after so many years, I screwed it up big time so that he got pissed at me. Oh yeah, getting suspended was like the height of 'The Crappiest Thing That Could Ever Happen To You'. Well, no use moping around about something petty like that. Might as well go home and take care of okachan. I'll send the nurse back since I was going to be around from now on.

It felt weird being home that early. Usually I'd be back with Ggio and he'd rush to okachan's room while I checked to see what I could put together for lunch. Guess I'll just wrap up my homework. I knew it was pointless but I felt so useless! Maybe I could dance. I hadn't done that in a while. And I needed something therapeutic otherwise my crazy side would decide to make another appearance. Wait, how was I gonna explain to okachan why I was home at this time? Uh, the school's gas pipes got a leak? Well it was lame but it was believable at least.

'Isane! I'm home!' I called for the nurse as I shut the door behind me. I glanced around the living room and the little corner we had decided to dub as the kitchen. It wasn't really a kitchen. It just had a lot of cupboards and a portable stove. You know, those little boxes which looked like mini stoves? We'd warm food on that and whenever Ggio got hungry, I'd wrap leftover meat in cheese and grill it. Don't diss it 'til you try it! It's awesome!

'Isane?' I repeated. No reply again. Maybe she was with okachan and the door was closed.

'Hey, Isane, I'm home early so you can just-!' I began as I entered okachan's room and froze. There was okachan beaming like a happy go lucky little girl. She looked like hell but she was all smiles. And the one sitting next to her wasn't Isane. It was Aizen's dark-haired 'new client'.

'Grimmjow! You're home!' she cried out joyfully. 'Oh, Grimmjow! Look! Look who's back?'

The man turned to grin at me, his feral grin completely dominating his face. Suddenly, it hit me like a hammer. Suddenly, I realized why he looked so goddamn familiar. I had nightmares about his face. It was the one thing that made me cry every time he crossed my mind. And he was back. He was fucking back.

I gulped.

'Hi, otosan,' I croaked, my hand tightening on the door handle.

'Grimmjow! My musokosan!' the motherfucker said warmly as he stood up from his chair and spread his arms out to embrace me. 'I missed you!'

'I bet you did,' I muttered lowly so he wouldn't catch anything.

'I understand,' he said solemnly and nodded his head. 'I know you're mad at me for deserting the family. I don't blame you. But that's going to change! I got a new job! And it's paying me plenty!'

He took a step towards me and I flinched, moving my eyes to stare at his feet.

'I'm going to take care of all of you now,' he said firmly. 'I'm going to be the otosan I was supposed to have been all those years ago.'

I still refused to look at him. He was lucky I didn't have anything to throw at him right now.

'Grimmjow?' okachan said concernedly.

'Grimmjow, at least-!' otosan began but I cut him off.

'Outside. Now,' I said hollowly and walked out without even waiting to see if he followed. Once I was away from the room, the tightness in my chest slowly faded and I could breathe properly. My hand clenched the kitchen counter and I placed my bag beside the set of clean plates I know Isane had washed. She always did little things like that to make our life easier.

I heard the click of a door close behind me and the atmosphere suddenly got tense.

'Look, I know you don't exactly love me,' otosan said curtly, his tone sharper and colder. 'But at least don't act like a spoiled brat in front of-!'

He ducked as I threw a plate at his head.

'What the hell? Are you nuts?' he yelped, his eyes wide.

'Not really. Just a little pissed,' I snarled and hurled another plate at him when I stressed on 'pissed'. He ducked again. Fucking prick, just stand still so I can crack one over your stupid thick skull! Maybe then I'd stop! Maybe.

'Okay! Understandable! But will you-' he ducked to avoid another kitchen utensil-'will you just hear what I have to say?'

'You're back! I get it! And you're here to stay! Whoop de fucking doo! I'd love to remember the good old days! Oh, wait! There were fucking none thanks to your goddamn perverted urges!'

I was running low on arms and I would soon be left with nothing but the portable stove. Not that I minded. I hoped that would knock him out for sure.

'I wasn't lying when I said I got a job! It involves Aizen!' he blurted out and I actually paused to catch my breath. I'd be hyped since my fight with Nnoitra, so yeah, don't think I was going soft. When he noticed I had stopped, I saw his face relax with relief. I gripped another plate in my hand. Don't relax yet, buddy. I ain't done with you.

'Whatever you have to say, say it and never fucking come back,' I said through gritted teeth. He just sneered at me as he fixed his charcoal grey dinner jacket. Still the same prick.

'After I left home, I got involved with the mafia,' he began. 'Small business like stealing and drugs. Then I got caught up with the big bosses. The Vizards were one of the biggest but so was Aizen's group. The Arrancars. Heard of 'em? Anyways, the Vizards asked me to join them but only on one condition: if I infiltrated Aizen's mafia and helped them bring him down from the inside, I was in. It was suicide, Grimm! If I agreed, it was like I had signed my death penalty or something!'

I growled when he called me 'Grimm'. He used to call me that when he was my otosan. It was his pet name for me. I hated it when he whispered it in my ear and touched me.

'But they helped me get into respectable business. They had contacts and managed to get me an appointment with the big man himself posing as a heroine dealer. And then I met you.'

He grinned wickedly. That fucking grin was so nostalgic I thought I was going to puke. Or cry. Anything to relieve the heaviness in my chest and the thudding in my head.

'I wondered, 'Why is my little boy with the most prestigious and dastardly man in the whole of Japan?',' he continued, totally in control of me now. I was hanging onto his every word and we both knew it. 'So I came the next night and this time, I heard some noises that were all too familiar to my ears. And I figured out what was going on! The most honourable man of Japan was screwing my little boy!'

He allowed himself a little chuckle and I glared at him. I was being nailed by a fucking hypocritical bastard and I was being laughed at by an equally hypocritical bastard. I dare anyone to top this shit. Come on. I fucking dare.

'Alright, so what? You came here to gloat or something?' I sneered, wanting to take control of this conversation and hoping to kick him out in the process. 'Want to feel good about abandoning your sick wife and whore of a son? Is that it?'

'On the contrary,' he said methodically and crossed his arms. 'I was hoping that my whore of a son could help me bring Aizen down.'

I blinked.

'Excuse me?' I blanched.

'You heard me,' he said calmly and looked me straight in the eye. 'I could tell that you hated his guts and wanted any opportunity to bring him down. So I'm offering you that opportunity. Think about it, Grimmjow. It could help save her.'

His eyes slid to okachan's bedroom door. I stared at it long and hard before turning back to him to bare my teeth at him.

'Forget it,' I hissed. 'Lovely as it sounds but I'm actually getting something out of my fucked up arrangement. He's paying for okachan's treatment s'long as I come whenever he calls for me.'

'Like the perfect bitch,' otosan murmured and his eyes twinkled maliciously. I growled.

'You got what you wanted,' I threatened and raised the plate at him. 'Now leave. Before I throw another and I won't miss this time.'

'Don't worry. I am,' he mused and sauntered up to the exit. He paused and glanced at the ceiling. 'I'd hate to disappoint okachan though. I just came back and she was just overjoyed to see me again. I wonder what she'll be like when I leave. Again. You were there the first time. It was awful, wasn't it?'

'Shut the fuck up and go already,' I seethed.

'I just want to say that don't feel bad that it was your fault again. Hey, as long as she doesn't know all's well that ends well, right? I hope Ggio doesn't come home to okachan crying about me. I wonder how he'd react.'

I inhaled sharply. I hated him so, so much right now. He was making me think about them. He was forcing me to choose between them and myself. And he knew me. He knew I would always put them first because they meant the world to me. But they meant jack shit to him. So he was playing that card. And I couldn't help falling for it.

'The Vizards will be more than willing to pay for her treatment,' he added. 'Free of charge.'

Should I agree? It would make life so much easier, so much simpler. I wouldn't have to go to that fucker's place. I wouldn't have to lower myself and be his personal fuck toy. Really, what's the harm in saying 'yes'?

'Do you really want to risk everything on what Aizen-sama is planning on paying you?' he taunted. 'What if you do something that upsets him? What if he changes his mind and grows tired of you? What will you do then, huh?'

I glared at him, the plate still clutched tightly in my hand. Yeah, that's why it's so hard to say 'yes'. Because it's him. The man who ruined my life. And my family's. But then, why is it harder to say 'no'? Because he's right? Because I know he's right? Stupid fucker. You can't trust Aizen. With him, it's either get 5% or get nothing at all. What if he does tire of me? What if he one days ups and says, 'Yeah, you're great but I want something new now. You're off the hook. I'm withdrawing my cash from your bank.' What will become of okachan then? She'll be halfway through the treatment but will it be enough to let her live? Fuck man, why don't I ever have a choice?

'Alright, I'm in,' I said heavily and lowered the plate. 'What do you want me to do?'

It was fucking stupid to cry about getting suspended. But it was okay to cry about this, right? Right?

Just to be clear! The otosan is actually my own character! HE DOES NOT EXIST IN THE BLEACH WORLD! SORRY PEOPLE!

well, till next chap, peeps!