Author's Note:
Not much feedback this time guys? Are you all on holiday? Or is this going a bit stale?
… I'll admit, though the main pairing is Kaname/Zero, their relationship doesn't appear to be going very smoothly at the moment. Is that what's getting you all stumped? If it is, I do apologise for tugging on your heartstrings with the angst, but I'm not playing you - things between Kaname and Zero are very, very rocky which makes it's very difficult to write.
Kaname and Zero are at a low point right now. Zero is struggling to come to terms with the possibility that he no longer loves Kaname in the way he used to. Kaname still loves Zero, but that love is stagnant - he's trying to keep them the same, when they should be changing, as is only natural of people and relationships - he can't let go of the past, unsurprisingly, and that's his biggest problem.
It's this crux - meeting these crossroads and having them struggle to move onwards - that I am building on. I just love the muddly in-between of relationships breaking down, with the couple having to choose whether there is anything worth saving between them, and struggling with all the history they have together, the happy memories, the love that's difficult to imagine living without…
While I perfectly understand if none of this interests you - if you'd rather just read about them having it on, or passionately exchanging love vows… that's not what it's going to be like. Not for a while at least. Things have to repair and heal first.
Just… give me some feedback, please! If you have anything to offer me in terms of ideas/advice/inspiration, be my guest.
"Alright, first thing's first."
A clatter of china on marble means dinner is served: the golden crispy skin of a perfectly roasted chicken, the sweet juices rolling down the sides -
"No."
Zero pushes it over to a drooling Kaito and stabs a pear with his knife.
"Ain't gonna gain any weight back with just fruit," Kaito grunts through cheeks stuffed full of chicken, though he makes no offer to share with him. Ichiru sighs and chucks a napkin at him, which only succeeds in landing on his shoulder and being shrugged off. Kaito smacks his lips obnoxiously, before shooting Zero with an unexpectedly apprehensive look. Without pausing in his mauling of the chicken, he pins Zero with a feeling of unease, especially when he narrows his eyes like that. It means he's looking underneath Zero's nonchalance - he's seeing through it to what state he's really in.
Because even though he's not outwardly showing it, Zero is still shaken.
He munches on the same bite of pear till it's liquid. Half the chicken is already gone. He hasn't much of an appetite himself (the lingering tang of Isaya's lifeblood has stained his tongue), but he knows he has to eat, and there's that wrung out gnawing feeling that tells him his tank is completely empty. Kaito is only eating to encourage him, with Ichiru there hovering protectively as always. His poor, poor otouto, so cautious and nervous around him... it's going to drive him mad. He keeps darting looks at Zero's bare wrists and the knife he's holding, staring at it like it's drenched in blood - like at any second Zero will gouge out his eyeballs with it, or stab through a major artery or -
"For goodness' sake, at least pretend to act civilised," Zero hisses, flinging his knife across the table, disgusted by the odd slurping sounds coming from Kaito's end.
It goes through the carcass, right through to the other side, mere centimetres from Kaito's fingers.
"Fucker," he spits out with a bone, but grudgingly takes the knife. As he carves the meat off the carcass, he pins Zero with that look again, curiosity and concern combined.
"What?" he snaps, fighting the urge to lob another utensil at Kaito's face. Kaito puts down the knife and steeples his fingers dramatically.
"So, Ichiru told you."
Told me. Told me… yes, Zero pointedly avoids looking at Ichiru. "Yeah." He told me that my husband is rogue. That it's possible he's losing his grip on reality and that he might choose his child over me if the time comes that such a decision has to be made.
Kaito sniffs, "Then you know what the situation is."
"I know what to look out for," Zero corrects.
"No, you know," Kaito insists, "How we deal with rogues."
Of course Zero knows.
Every Hunter knows.
Rogues have always been something of a myth among Hunters - something told to fresh, new recruits to whet their appetites for 'justice' - that being a term used rather loosely in the Hunter community when discussing the execution of stray Vampires.
"We Hunt them," Kaito says, viciously snapping a thigh in half. The spatter of juice sprays over Zero's fingers, warm and sticky, just like bloo-
"Fuck," Ichiru hisses, wiping his eye, which was also juiced, "Fuck that stings," again, he squints at Zero worriedly with his clean eye. "Kaito - "
"No, he knows the call," the redhead stands up and wipes his fingers on his shirt, "Rogues are nothing more than glorified 'Es, Zero. Or at least that's what they become like," he shrugs - and Zero tries to pretend he's not taking some perverse pleasure in telling him all this, but unfortunately he knows Kaito too well - "Only they're stronger, faster, and more powerful… they need to be put down, preferably sooner than later, before they get too bitey and snappy."
"Stop it - stop talking like this is - like it's - !"
"Don't bother, Ichiru," Zero sighs, scowling at Kaito's distasteful way of speaking. "Kaito's been dreaming of a big ol' proper Hunt since he was a little boy. There's no point trying to teach him tact anymore."
"But this is Kaname we're talking about," Ichiru protests, staring at both of them like they've lost their heads. He turns to Zero, "Not some rabid dog waiting to be 'put down' - not any old Pureblood off the street. You've not forgotten that, have you?"
This only makes Zero's mood even worse, though he valiantly tries to redirect his anger onto Kaito, rather than Ichiru.
"He's right," he tells him, rising to his feet so they're eye-to-eye again, "This is Kaname, Kaito, not some random Pureblood gone mad."
"And that's supposed to matter?" Kaito demands, planting his hands on the table like he's laying down the law, "Really? 'Because we know him'? Because he's your husband? Why the fuck should that make a difference? If he's rogue, he's rogue - we kill him regardless. That's our job. There's no bending the rules for anyone, Zero, and there's good reason for that. You know the reason for that," Kaito quips, "The last time a rogue got loose, it got the upper-hand on things and we almost got killed. It started a war - a war that killed thousands and exposed Vampires to the Human world, and now look at the crap we're in. Shit more than hit the fan, Zero. Are you prepared to let something like that happen again?"
"Of course not - but things are different this time. Kaname doesn't want anything to do with the war."
"He may say that, but don't be fooled - you know, I know and he damn well knows he's involved in it nonetheless. This kid you two are having - the fact that you've even agreed to go ahead with having it is basically a declaration of war on all the people on this Earth. It's a fucking massive problem, just like Kuran."
"I'll pretend you didn't just say that, Kaito. Otherwise I might mistake it for a threat."
"Oh, you're not mistaken, but it's not my threat to make - I'm just telling you how things are, as any good brother would. This is me being soft, for you Zero, I'm bending the rules as far as I can - "
"Good, because that's as far as the bloody rules apply to our situation. Things aren't over yet. Kaname isn't rogue yet - he may be heading that way, but he isn't there yet. Understand? You too, Ichiru," Zero warns his brother, "Of all people, you shouldn't condemn him so quickly - "
"I wasn't - !"
"You can't blame us if we do," Kaito cuts in, his self-righteous demeanour dropping a little, "He's already killed a man, Zero. It might have been arranged between them, but it was still part of Kuran's plan to pave the way for this kid. If Ichiru's explained it to you right, you'll know rogues tend to fixate on a particular goal. It gives them purpose. Now, if it's about keeping the kid alive - "
"Okay, enough," Zero slams hishands on the table, "Enough. Please. I am sick of you two going on and on about this like it's all set in stone. All of what you're saying is based on some old dusty records dated from god knows how long ago. You claim there's no other outcome for him but to turn out like Rido but I cannot accept that there's no way to stop it from happening. I refuse to believe he cannot be saved. How can we give up on Kaname when he's not gone rogue yet? He's got time, and we can save him," he implores Kaito with his best hopeful look, knowing it makes Kaito uncomfortable (he'd once told Zero that look made him feel as puny as an ant, but filled with an incredible sense of purpose). He's reminded of what Ichiru told him about him 'inspiring goodness' in others, and inwardly snorts at the idea. However, if he's got to be an enforcer of good will for the sake of rallying Kaito to his side, he'll do it.
By reminding him how close he was to becoming a mark on his list - knowing how hard that will hit Kaito.
"He's falling - just like I did all those years ago. There's no way he can stop himself falling, but luckily for him he's got us."
"What if there isn't a way to save him? How long will we wait till we give up? How far can we afford to let him fall?" Kaito asks, though he's clearly affected by the reminder of Zero's own 'fall'. Watching Zero's struggle against Turning had been especially difficult for Kaito. He's already had to kill one brother-Turned-Vampire once - he's infinitely grateful he didn't have to do the same to Zero… and that thanks he grudgingly owes to Kaname, for saving Zero from a Level E's fate. "The longer we wait, the more dangerous he will become."
"I'm not saying that we sit on our asses doing nothing!" Zero exclaims, prompting Ichiru to punch Kaito for his unending stupidity, "We've got to figure out what turns a Vampire rogue in the first place, and then try to reverse it," he turns to Ichiru, "You said it was when a Pureblood loses their sense of purpose after living too long, but Kaname's the longest lived Vampire in the world."
"It's a wonder he's not gone rogue until now," Ichiru mutters, voicing their shared thought.
"Well, his reaction to losing Isamu in our previous life was… to get really depressed and go into a deep Sleep," Zero frowns, "So if that's him reacting to the thought of having to live a long life without, you know, me… then going rogue isn't something triggered by losing purpose - "
"But maybe being given a new one," Kaito glances at Zero's waist, "The baby."
"Perhaps," Zero shrugs, squirming a little under Kaito's laser-like glare. "Which means aborting the baby is out of the question."
"But - "
"We can't destroy Kaname's new reason for living, idiot," Zero scoffs, signalling to Ichiru to slap their idiot brother again, "Otherwise he might actually lose it," he grabs a yellow peach off the fruit bowl, "Tell me what the other symptoms of being rogue are. They might help us think of a way to bring him back to normal."
"Well none of the Hunters' archives are that detailed, as you gathered, nor are they in any way reliable. They're notoriously difficult to document, and frustratingly rare, which leaves us with very little to go on."
"Did he tell you anything personally?" Kaito asks.
"Me?"
Zero thinks back to his conversation with Kaname.
The skittishness of his replies was nothing new, nor was his avoidance and reluctance to divulge in anything. He remembers Kaname not touching him though - he'd forced himself not to touch Zero - recoiling from him as if he were a burning flame. It had pleased Zero at the time, seeing that the last thing he wanted right then was any contact with Kaname, but at the same time he saw that as abnormal to Kaname's tendency to smother him with affection -
All I know is that whatever it is has to be kept secret and protected… until I can see it again.
Again?
...yeah. There's this feeling, like I've been there before.
…you also said you wanted to check you'd left nothing behind…
Did I?
There was his forgetfulness.
I am telling you the truth: I don't know. It's just a feeling - a gut instinct I am following. Call me foolish, but throughout all of this I've been lead by some unseen force - I'm merely a puppet in someone else's scheme -
His loss of control -
It's like the instinct to protect you and our child - I do things without meaning to. If there were secrets to tell you, I would! But there's nothing I know - I am as new to this as you are -
Damn. The more Zero remembers, the more he thinks on it… it does sound like Kaname's losing it.
… but there's that thing - he mentioned being a 'puppet' in someone else's scheme - Lady's, he'd suggested. It wouldn't be the first time she lent a hand in writing their fate, always keen to stir up trouble.
"He said… he felt like he was being forced to do these things… by somebody else," he offers.
"Who?" Ichiru squints, but quickly catches on - "Ah, Lady."
"Oh not her again," Kaito grumbles, dropping back in his seat heavily. He drags the platter of chicken back to himself and spins it to reach the other side. "That woman cooks up more trouble than anybody I've ever heard of."
"That she does," Zero agrees.
"What makes you think it's her?"
He shrugs, "Kaname just… said something about not knowing why he's doing all this. Like he's following someone's instruction without meaning to. Like… he's a sort of… puppet."
"Maybe if we find out who the puppeteer is - or confirm that it's Lady - we can figure out how to stop her controlling Kaname - "
"And why - why she's doing this in the first place - "
"Well, Kaname did say the 'having a baby' plan was hers from the start."
"But why do it this way - making Kaname go rogue of all things? It's a fucking stupid idea."
"Who cares what her reasons are. We just have to stop it," Zero concludes. There's a glimmer of hope now. It's depressingly small, but still there -
"There might be something else we can do to help Kaname."
They all whip around to find Rima leaning against the doorway, her hair loose around her shoulders, making her appear older than she usually does. She drums her fingers on her arm - a nervous gesture - but somehow gains confidence as she approaches the table, nodding towards Zero respectfully. She takes a piece of bread to rip into pieces - something to do with her hands.
"What might that be?" Zero asks gently, easing her nerves. Perhaps she's wary that it's now obvious she listened in on their conversation, but Zero's fed up of all the 'walking on eggshells' between all of them - it's exhausting and pointless. They need to establish an upfront attitude with everything from now on, or else he's gonna blow his top sometime soon.
She swats the bread pieces in Kaito's direction for consumption, and then looks up at him again, more calmly.
"The biggest proof that Kaname is 'falling' is that he killed Isaya. That was Pandora's box - in other words, the start of all this trouble. A normal person would have not given in so easily, never mind that Isaya gave him permission, nor that it was for a 'good cause' - their feelings would have interfered, and yet - Kaname's didn't. Something overrode his conscience. As time goes by, he's already said that your baby's power will continue to grow, which will put pressure on everyone around it. This progression starts from the top, and as Kaname sees the need to pave the way for your child, he will eliminate anyone that stands in its way. We've already witnessed the next most-powerful person be sacrificed, so who's next?"
Zero's stomach drops.
"…Yuuki?"
Rima frowns. "…not what I was thinking," she admits, leaning forwards, "No. The fact that Kaname chose to get rid of Isaya before her suggests that she is less of a threat right now - perhaps because he had the mind to send her far away from us, knowing her distance keeps her safe. The person I was thinking about is the highest-ranking Noble currently living with us - "
"Takuma," Ichiru breathes, clapping a hand to his mouth.
Rima inclines her head, "He poses the next big threat to the baby, and is therefore the most at risk. The whole thing is made worse with him having seen that memory of Kaname's - it may have inspired him to… you know - take the easy way out." Her eyes are wet, but she admirably fights to keep them at bay. Kaname had been so unwilling to show Takuma the memory, he'd even urged Takuma to 'make his own path' in life - to cope with his grief differently to Isaya.
"Kaname warned Takuma not to follow Isaya's example before we drank from the Shield," Zero agrees unwillingly, "I think that was really Kaname warning him to stay away from him. He doesn't want to kill Takuma and dreads the possibility of being asked to do so by him. I felt that in here," he pokes at his chest, his heart.
"But Takuma's so depressed," Isaya sighs, "He's bound to ask Kaname at some point to end his suffering."
"And whilst Kaname might want to say no, he might not be to control himself at that time. He might try to kill Takuma without meaning to - that's where we come in," Rima says, bringing both hands under her chin, "If we stop Takuma from tempting him, and keep an eye on Kaname for any signs that he feels Takuma's becoming a threat, we can save them both."
"We have to keep them apart," Zero realises, nodding with Rima, "And we have to convince Takuma to not give up - "
Takuma, Benomi, if you're listening… you are not to last, you… you must live. Help him… There's something… s-something keeping you here…
There's something keeping you here.
That's what Isaya had said.
And suddenly, Zero thinks he gets what he meant by it.
"There's something keeping him here," he mumbles, face screwed up in thought. He spoke almost without meaning to, just saying it - rolling it around in his mind and on his tongue - it helps somehow. "Isaya's right. There's something… something keeping Takuma on going."
"What do you mean?" Rima frowns. "Like, emotional support? That's mostly Benomi's doing. I mostly deal with keeping Takuma fed and watered."
"No, that's not what I mean. The whole reason Takuma's depressed is to do with Shiki, isn't it? They were Bonded, weren't they?" Rima nods, lips tightening. "Right, and according to the way Bonds work, they tie two peoples' lives together. That's like, a step higher than marriage."
"More than a step, I'd say," Kaito grunts through his mouthful, "Freaking insane, the things you lovey-dovey couples do."
"If a Bond is broken, what usually happens then?" Zero asks Rima.
She blinks, as though she cannot conceive Zero's thought process.
"Usually, the widower would follow their mate to death relatively soon afterwards, depending on the circumstances. Widowers with children tend to last a little longer, bound by their duty to care for them. Some have even survived years, but moving on is very difficult. Hardly anyone lasts that long without their mate."
"And yet, Takuma has lasted for over a decade." Zero says, which gives them all reason for pause. It's like no one really noticed the time go by - the fact that it's been over a decade and no one's thought this strange is rather alarming. He mulls over Isaya's words again: There's something keeping you here. It's a mystery, a riddle. "What's stopped him from dying then?"
"Isaya and Benomi have been helping him," Rima answers, "Sometimes therapy can heal a broken Bond to some degree. You have to remember, their Bond was so young when it was broken that there might not have been that much to break. I know their love was true, but… maybe it's a good thing, otherwise it could've been worse," her voice cracks, and she bows her head. "I think Isaya was teaching Takuma how to cope with the loss. After all, he survived centuries without his wife."
"But Isaya used Kaname's technique with grieving too - he literally shutting his body down remember? He went into a deep Sleep for two hundred years. That is something only Purebloods can do - and anyway, Isaya wasn't Bonded to his wife. Takuma is coping with this a lot better than he should be," Zero insists, "Because something is keeping him going."
Ichiru claps his hands. "We should find out what that thing is and - and help it along."
"Either that or we send him somewhere far, far away," Rima says quietly.
"So, we keep Ichijou happy, and Kuran and him apart - and that should prevent him going rogue?" Kaito asks disbelievingly. Zero doesn't blame him. The plan sounds way too simple for the scale of the problem they're facing, but there's little else they can really do unless they figure out the reason why Takuma's survived this long, or find another way to keep Kaname distracted.
"I think going rogue is a cumulative thing, like… like with Voldemort and his horcruxes," Rima says, flustering from the looks the three give her. They all know the books, but it's a little out of the blue to bring up some Harry Potter trivia. Nevertheless, she pushes on: "Think about it: each time Voldemort killed someone, it created a horcrux, right? By fragmenting his soul." They all nod. "So, what if each time Kaname kills someone, he falls a little further… becomes a little more rogue? Killing someone you care about is tantamount to killing some part of your soul. If going rogue works like that then when he killed Isaya, he killed part of himself. If we can stop Kaname before he kills again then, in theory, we can save him."
"Sound like a plan," Zero agrees, sending her an approving glance.
Kaito burps loudly, shoving the stripped carcass aside with another satisfied belch, and nods at Zero.
He knows Kaito is still wary of Kaname. He's only agreeing for Zero's sake, and the moment Kaname slips up - the second they lose him… he'll strike, without hesitation. The thought of that happening is - everything will fall apart then, he thinks. Nothing will matter after that.
"…stuffed yourself so much I'm honestly impressed you've not sicked up everywhere - "
"Trust me, I can fit more than just one ruddy chicken in me."
"Oh, I'll take your word for it."
Kaito laughs, but as he opens his mouth for another witty rejoinder it's like the strings holding him up snap - or that's what it looks like. One second he's snarking with Ichiru, the next he's crumpled on the floor, clutching his knee and cursing a storm. For a few seconds Ichiru lets him writhe in 'agony', thinking he's play acting. He doesn't buy it. Sometimes Kaito will just throw himself down on the floor and roll about like a child to amuse him, or himself, or anyone passing by really. He's a jester at heart, and Ichiru enjoys watching him make a fool of himself.
After a while though, when Kaito doesn't roll over grinning… Ichiru's smile drops and he starts to shift on his feet.
"Kaito?" he drops down beside him, grabbing his shoulders to turn him over. Thankfully Kaito is still coherent, still conscious, but there is nothing to suggest what is causing him pain. His face is scrunched up though - there's no faking the agony in his expression. "Kaito, what's wrong?"
He grits his teeth, "Fuckkkk…"
"I gathered that, but what's hurting you?"
Kaito shakes his head, lips pressed tightly together - his other hand grapples for his trouser leg and tugs at it weakly. Ichiru helps him, pulling it up to expose his pale shin and then - on his knee - "Ow, fuckity fuck fucking ow, ow!" he howls, as Ichiru gapes at the mark on his kneecap.
It's red and angry looking, like a brand - oh, not a brand, a charm. A Hunter's charm.
"What's it for?" Ichiru asks, unable to decipher it, or to resist prodding it. Kaito hisses, shooting him a venomous glare.
"Tracking," he pants, smacking Ichiru's hands away, "Sensei… when I told him I was going to help Kuran… and whatever crappy plans he's up to… sensei put this charm on me - a tracking charm, so he can find me if he needs to… with the radio-silence and whatnot…"
Ah, that would make sense. Sensei couldn't take part in Kaname's plans - being the Head of the Association now, he couldn't be seen getting involved too deeply with Vampire affairs, and had to remain professional and unbiased - but he kept an eye on things through Kaito. He'd kept an eye on Zero at a distance through the years, getting scraps of information off Kaito and his various 'connections'. If he knew about all of this - all of Kaname's plans happening right now - he would only have a very vague idea of what was going on. Kaito probably told him it was all top-secret, and that he couldn't even tell him where they would be, or update him via normal communications. Radio-silence.
"So sensei…"
"Wants to see me," Kaito grunts, rubbing the mark. It's still angry-looking, but he's too pissed off to care. "Dunno why."
"Will he come here?"
"The mark'll lead him to me, and seeing as I'm here, moron, yes. Obviously."
Ichiru blinks. Is that a good thing? He knows sensei will be incredibly careful and discrete, but there are always people watching him now, and he bets there are people looking for the missing Kings too. With sensei having such a high-profile these days, people will be watching his movements closely.
"Yeah, yeah…" Kaito drawls, yanking on Ichiru's shoulders to pull himself upright. "I know I can't stay here. It might draw trouble to us, so I'll go out to meet him instead."
"But Kaito, the Hunters think you're - "
"I fucking know. Shut up already." The Hunters think Kaito's AWOL - and being Yagari's successor, that's a big deal. He'd abandoned post months ago to follow Kaname's instructions, and so he was sort of… on the naughty list. He was in for a major telling off as soon as he returned. Hopefully that punishment wouldn't be so bad with Yagari backing him up.
"They'll be close behind him," Ichiru continues, biting his lip, "He doesn't go anywhere without guards nowadays."
This makes Kaito laugh - throw his head back kind of laughter - "Are you serious? This is sensei we're talking about - the best of the best. He can ditch those assholes easy. No problem at all. It's not like he keeps them around for their stimulating conversation anyway. I'm just thinking… what with the baby and all, this tracking mark might not be working."
"What do you mean?"
Kaito shrugs, "It's not meant to burn like this. It's only meant to throb a little when activated. I think the magic-baby's powers are rejecting it to protect our location. I have to get out of range soon, or else sensei might be led astray - which is why I'll go out to get sensei."
"I'll come with you," Ichiru says quickly, holding his hand up to Kaito's protests, "If you're in so much pain, you need someone to have your back."
"It'll hurt less when I'm further away."
"But until then, you'll need someone."
Kaito scowls. Deep, deep down inside, he's proud of Ichiru's stubborn streak, and he likes being a concern for the youngest Kiryuu brother, but he doesn't want to put Ichiru in danger either. And on top of that he doesn't want Ichiru to get to greet sensei first. The three of them - Zero, Ichiru and Kaito - often fought for sensei's attention as children. This was still unfortunately a habit for them - to be greedy for sensei's attention and praise. Kaito rolls his eyes at Ichiru exaggeratedly and huffs, but eventually gives in - he's Yagari's successor anyway. He gets to see him the most, so he'll let Ichiru get in his hugs and whatever and let him tag along.
"Let's tell someone where we're going - "
"Nah."
Ichiru frowns, "What? Why?" his frown deepens - is Kaito having trust-issues with the Vampires again?
"Shut up. It's not that," Kaito snaps, "Don't be stupid. I'm just thinking that it would be better not to get all of them all worked up before we leave. They won't like involving another person in this mess, and things are just starting to wind down after all Kaname's business became our business. Things are so fucked up already. Let's not add to it."
"So you think keeping secrets is a better idea?" Ichiru plants his hands on his hips, eerily similar to Zero, "Has none of what nii-san said gotten through your thick skull? Secrets are off-limits from now on - "
"This is none of their business."
"Kaito," Ichiru says warningly, crossing his arms too for good measure. "We have to tell them. They won't mind anyway - it's sensei. Everyone likes sensei," he shuffles awkwardly, "Or at least they trust him."
"Sensei is the Head of the Hunters' Association. He's got obligations and rules to follow, Ichiru - "
"He's devoted to his family though, Kaito. You know how he is - he always puts family above duty - "
"But he might not be able to do that this time - that's what I'm trying to say - "
"The fuck do you mean?"
"He's getting old, Ichiru," Kaito almost yells, frightening the crap out of Ichiru. He nods tersely, "You've not seen him for a while now. Neither has Zero. The thing is he's… he's getting older. He's not the wicked cool crazy-ass ninja-master we once knew." Kaito's head dips, looking properly worried now. Ichiru shares in his sorrow, but is also shocked by the fact that their beloved sensei is ageing. He blinks twice, though he remains glossy-eyed, "Those guards you're talking about… they're more like fanatical newbie Hunters looking to win some favour with Yagari. You know that even though sensei and I are less Vampire-loving than you and Zero, we're not dying to gun them down or anything. Sensei is under a lot of pressure though, to keep those trigger-happy nutjobs from sniffing us out yet not look like he's hiding anything. He can keep us informed on the goings on in the Hunter/Human community and possibly give us access to some places if need be - but that's as far as I'm willing to allow him stick his neck out for us. Why do you think Zero didn't call for help from sensei or either of us when he was trapped in that Castle?"
Ichiru knows, he remembers what Zero told him all too clearly: The Head of the Association taking the Royal Consort of the Original King from the Castle? It'll look like a kidnapping, that's what.
"It'll look really bad on sensei if he's seen involved in the disappearance of the two Kings. The Council might launch an attack on him in retaliation for it. He's old and he's got enough to deal with without having to do some political hokey-cokey to get him out of that jam. Trust me, those trigger-happy Hunters are just as eager to turn on sensei, start a mutiny and take things into their grubby little hands. You, me and sensei are playing a dangerous game right now, Ichiru. Our label says 'Hunter' but our real allegiance is with the King of the freaking Vamps. You see how risky everything is right now, don't you?"
"Yeah," Ichiru says quietly, "But what about you? If he meets up with you, won't that look bad too?"
"Me? Little old me?" Kaito scoffs, "Hell no. They don't care about me. I'm in the naughty corner, but I'm still a Hunter, Ichiru, and they know what I'm like anyway."
"I'm still coming with you."
"Damn," he shakes his head emphatically, "Damn, kid. You are just like your nii-san. Stubborn as hell," he digs his heels in the floor and tries to push up - "Alright. Help me up."
"And you think you can do this without me," Ichiru rolls his eyes, and yanks on one arm. "Fuck. You just had to eat a whole chicken before this."
"Don't get prissy with me, princess," Kaito yips, dragging half of Ichiru down as he gets upright. He rights his hat and brushes off some dust, and then pinches Ichiru on the elbow, "Now look," he says, managing to give Ichiru the stink-eye even after all this kerfuffle, "You can come with me to a certain point, but if we reach a town or city you're outta there. You head straight back here, no questions asked." Before Ichiru can get a word in, he continues, "You look too much like your brother."
"Funny that, seeing as we're twins."
"That's why you can't tag along into civilisation, dumbass. There's probably people looking for him all over. You git yer ass back here pronto if we so much as spot a person a mile up ahead, understand?"
"Fine."
"You got your guns?"
"'Course."
What is a Hunter without his guns? Ichiru thinks, and then almost immediately mentally apologises to Zero.
He mentally apologises to them all, and then follows Kaito out of the bunker.
The meal leaves Zero still feeling hungry.
After eating a few fruits, Zero recognises the hunger to be of the other kind. It seems that after a year of abstinence, being around Kaname has reawakened his appetite. The hunger can't come at a worse time though, he thinks. Because right now, after so much drama, all Zero wants is to be alone. To hide. To settle. It's more than a little overwhelming, all of this, and being around all these people after being alone for so long… perhaps he's gotten too used to lots of space and silence. It feels like he's literally bumping into people wherever he turns - like they're tripping over each other and there's just not enough space. Granted, for a glorified underground bunker, Ruka's done a good job of dressing it up and making it more comfortable, but that doesn't change the space from being so limited and the air being dank.
He wants to stretch his legs which is ridiculous, because he can, but he reckons his desire might be more psychological than anything. The urge to fling open the front door and run - to suck in some fresh air or just be blown away by the wind. Zero knows he's being foolish and ungrateful, wanting more than this - they are living in comfort, which is a luxury, but if this is what life is going to be like till the war is over… he's already starting to feel that restlessness.
Claustrophobia has never been a thing for him before now.
But now there's this trapped feeling wherever he goes.
He knows that his Hunter brothers are probably somewhere, either arguing or mucking around. They're so easily entertained that they can probably amuse themselves with a plain old rock. Sometimes he envies their childishness. Other times he reminds himself that for men their age, it isn't something to be proud of. He can't think of what the girls are up to - probably resting after Rima's long journey and poor Ruka having to host all these people so suddenly, and Seiren is probably somewhere with Kaname again. She's as deep in the secrets as he is.
It should make Zero jealous, but he isn't, not even a little bit.
There's something more important right now than grinding his teeth at who Kaname wants to share his secrets with. The hunger is something he's not used to, and it's really starting to get distracting. The Bond - a sad, slack, withered thing - tugs at him weakly, and for the first time in a while, he can feel where Kaname is. He has a faint, pale impression of where he's at. It doesn't matter that he's still in the bunker, hardly ten yards away from Zero - it's disturbing that the Bond is as weak as it is. Thin as a gossamer thread that could so easily snap.
Zero rolls his wedding ring around his finger as he enters the room, and - oh, it's not Seiren with him, but Ruka.
"-ything at all?"
"No, but it's only been a couple days - "
"The next forty-eight hours are usually quite crucial. It… maybe I'm being paranoid, but I don't like not knowing where they are."
"Trust me, neither do I - oh, Zero," Ruka spins around, a smile barely touching her lips. She seems quite flustered, holding onto her phone loosely in one hand, the other one twisted in her skirts.
"Is it a bad time?" Zero asks, knocking on the door, "I can come back - "
"No!" Ruka exclaims, shaking her head a little too enthusiastically, "There's nothing we're talking about here that you can't know."
"Okay?" Zero's eyebrow flicks up, rather amused by Ruka's insistence. She even kicks Kaname's foot behind her as the air fills with his unease, and he remains quiet. Zero's gaze moves over to him, languidly in an attempt to pacify him. Already he can see signs that Kaname wants to escape. If avoidance is what Kaname's going for after all this, Zero isn't impressed. Kaname's hands are clenched on the armrests of the chair, but under Zero's gaze he stays firmly seated.
He raises his head, his jaw tightening only briefly, "We were talking about Kain and Aidou."
"Are they alright?"
"We don't really know," Ruka says lowly, gripping the phone tightly once. "Seiren says she bumped into them on her way out of the Castle. She said they were awake - a little bloody and battered, but alive. They are the ones who started the fire."
"Yeah, I guessed as much," Zero remembers the thick fumes of stinking smoke that stung his eyes, thinking it had to be Kain lighting the sky up, and probably Aidou setting off all those fireworks - and then he realises… there were probably explosives too, not just fireworks, because they brought the whole Castle down … and they still don't know if they got out okay. "I'm guessing their phones aren't working."
"Even if they were, they know better than to use them," Kaname says tonelessly. "Anyway, they know that we're to meet them at the second Nest." Even as he says this, he's staring blankly at nothing. The way he's acting - Zero knows he's blaming himself. He wouldn't be wrong to, but you can only lead a horse to water, or so the saying goes. Kain and Aidou agreed to carrying out the dangerous task themselves. There's no point in blaming anyone.
"In case it gives away our location?" he assumes, to which Ruka sighs. Zero pokes around his pocket, then draws out the note paper. "Can't you reach them with this?"
"It's a one-way message system," the corners of his eyes pinch, "My 'instructions' you called them once."
Zero's eyes narrow, thinking about how Kaname knew that - "But you have ways of knowing what people are up to - you've used them to keep an eye on me at the Castle."
"I do, but that only works if I know where the person is. What's worse is that they are probably trying not to be found on top of everything. I could send out a thousand ravens and still not find them. You know how good they are at hiding."
"Maybe when we go back to the Castle you can catch their scent?" Zero suggests, rolling his eyes when Kaname sinks deeper into his seat at the reminder. He doesn't stay down for long though - he glances up at Zero, at Zero's midsection, and then turns to Ruka.
"If you wouldn't mind, Ruka," he gestures to Zero and himself, signalling for some privacy.
"Not at all," she chirps, a smidgen brighter from hearing Zero's helpful input, knowing there might be a way to find her cousins again. As soon as her back is turned, Kaname starts tugging at his collar, and Zero is drawn to him like a beacon. The thrum of his pulse sends Zero's senses into overdrive, the suddenly overwhelming amount of information tells him exactly where Kaname's artery is, and where the best place to bite would be.
Not that he wouldn't know the best place blindfolded and nose-plugged.
The whole thing goes a lot smoother now. Zero's hands sweep over Kaname's shoulders, moving his hair up and out of the way. He straddles Kaname - not blushing doing this anymore - and then, all there is to do is feed. He latches on like a starving leech, lips moulding to the curve of Kaname's neck to prevent any spills. For a split second, Zero is worried - before any feeding, he always fears losing control, but this time especially since it has been a year - but the thought is brushed promptly aside. As his arms loop around Zero to brace him, Kaname's mind enfolds Zero. One hand goes up to cradle the back of Zero's head, and there is a gentle pressure too, which encourages him to not be afraid - go right on ahead - so he bites.
And he drinks deep. More than usual. Thankfully, when he's done, Kaname still has some colour in him. Zero licks the wound clean and then sits back on Kaname's lap. Here, he realises - with Kaname held down and stopped from running away from all his questions - he's got an opportunity to ask his questions. It amuses Zero in a sort of morbid way that for all the horrors he's heard about rogues and their savage, inhuman power and the ruthless ways, he has one right underneath him, tucked in between his thighs, and he's not afraid at all. Maybe that's because Kaname is looking up at him patiently, in his usual earnest way. More often than not, that look has frustrated Zero to his wit's end, but it's proof that he is undeniably himself right now - with that look, and his arms possessively curled around Zero's hips, and the fact that he is waiting for Zero to break eye-contact first.
"So…" Zero breathes, eyeing the patch of healed skin rather than Kaname's eyes for the moment, "Aidou and Kain, huh?"
Kaname nods slowly, "They'll be alright - they can take care of themselves. Obviously Ruka's panicking, but that's mostly because she's still convinced they can't tie their own shoelaces without messing up."
"I think you mean, they can't tie their shoelaces without her."
"She can get a little overprotective with them, can't she?" Kaname chuckles.
Zero snorts, "Yeah you're one to speak."
"Alright, alright," Kaname rolls his eyes good-naturedly, though they leave that topic well alone. They both know pushing on with this will lead to a fight. Zero's frustration with Kaname's mile-wide overprotective streak has started enough fights. It's another thing they've decided to agree to disagree on.
Kaname's demeanour starts to waver as the seconds tick by. Zero can feel him ever-so-slowly tense up, his legs tightening up like coiled springs and his shoulders rolling back under his hands. He can tell Kaname's starting to get agitated, pinned to the chair as he is, unable to move. It's clear that Zero is the one in control now, not him - which makes his eyes flit around the room anxiously, looking for an exit. For a couple seconds Zero relishes this power - for once, knowing that Kaname is here with him, and that he can't fly off… but then he sees that Kaname is really making a considerable effort not to move, despite it looking almost painful to fight back the urge to flee - and Zero knows it's to please him. And what he's doing… trapping Kaname, holding him down, taking away his power… is that not what the Council want to do to him?
With that sickening thought, Zero changes his tactics, sliding closer Kaname, up till his thighs are stretched almost to their limit. It's been a while since he's had to spread them so far. He isn't as flexible as he used to be, he supposes, biting down a grimace at the burn that crawls up his lower back - but more importantly, this changes the embrace to be a lot more intimate. There's no power play between them… other than the fact that Zero is technically 'on top', but that doesn't matter, not when he's bending forwards to blanket Kaname, and Kaname's arms are fastening around him tighter than a corset.
Kaname still looks rather taken aback, but not in the 'trapped' sense anymore. More in the 'what the hell are you up to?' way, which Zero is perfectly okay with. He's never pulled a stunt like this before, nor has Kaname, but it's high time he made use of his extensive knowledge of Kaname's weaknesses (in the best way, of course) to get something out of him. Part of Zero sees this as an opportunity to see how far rogue Kaname might be - if he'll react to Zero's seduction or brush him off - the other part of Zero is simply hungry for more of Kaname's touch.
After a feeding, it takes a while to understand what kind of hunger you're left with. The appetite for blood sated, it left you with more carnal desires - either that or a propensity for violence. As Zero leans in further, pressing them so close together that he can feel Kaname's breath quicken, and his heartbeat pulse against his abdomen. When he looks up, Kaname's pupils are almost fully dilated, his fangs are peeking from under his upper lip. Despite this, Kaname is frowning - grappling for control - stubbornly trying to remain unmoved by any of this.
He knows what he's doing.
But that doesn't stop him reacting to his touch. He can feel his fingers dig into his hips briefly, pulling him an inch forward - enough to feel Kaname swelling under his ministrations - but then he pulls back. Kaname swallows again, fighting harder against temptation - and leaves only the heels of his hands resting modestly on the dip of Zero's spine.
"So," Zero purrs again, curling his fingers in Kaname's hair, "Tell me, when do you think it's safe to go back to the Castle?"
Kaname lays his hands atop Zero's, stilling their movement. "Someone is eager to leave."
"Don't blame me for not wanting to be stuck here doing nothing," his smile turns wry, "I seem to have developed a rather serious aversion to being cooped up for too long."
To Zero's surprise, Kaname dips his chin in acknowledgement, a rather rueful twist to his smile, "Then we'll leave as soon as we can. I've already sent Seiren ahead to check out what kind of mob we're facing. Hopefully, she can also see if there are any traces of Kain and Aidou's whereabouts…"
Before he can slip back into that forbidding mood, Zero drags his fingers through his hair, snagging on all the knots and tangles and uses them to drag his head back. Under the current lighting, Zero is unexpectedly thrown by Kaname's beauty for the nth time in his life. The rosy glow is almost like firelight, but softer, mellowing the razor-sharp lines of Kaname's cheekbones. Zero drinks in the deep, warm hues of Kaname's mulled wine eyes, and breathes in the lingering sweetness of his blood in the air. It's richer and sweeter when brought out by his blushing cheeks, and Zero's eyes drop to those red-bitten lips, glistening from Kaname's tongue. He holds Kaname there, between his two hands, and then slowly brings their mouths together.
He controls the kiss - turning Kaname this way and that, pressing his lips here and there. The thing is, there are still 'sparks'. Zero cannot deny that his stomach still flutters and his blood rushes a little faster when he takes it all in - the slight roughness of Kaname's chewed lips, his arms automatically pulling him in closer, the heat of everything… it hasn't changed one bit. Even with Zero doubting his feelings for Kaname and having come to terms that things between them are different now - the fact that this is the same comforts him. Something tells him this will always be the same.
When Zero pulls back though… that's something he's not so familiar with - something he didn't expected to see.
Kaname frowning.
Not angrily, at least, but he's certainly not pleased.
"What's wrong?" he asks, unable to keep from sounding slightly affronted. It was a good kiss, he thinks, but with Kaname looking at him like that, he can't help but lose some confidence. It took years for Zero to get used to being in a relationship - to get accustomed to the easy affection it came with, sharing another person's space and whatnot - but he got used to it. And it became second nature to lean against Kaname when he was tired or seeking comfort, to reach for his hand when they were walking, and kiss him whenever taken by the moment.
And yet, it's been a year.
Only a year, and things have deteriorated this much between them. Was their relationship ever as strong as Zero thought it was, if it only took this long for it to be broken? Has Zero read the signs wrong? He must have thought he was still welcome to embrace Kaname as he liked, when clearly… he wasn't -
"No, no, no," Kaname practically yanks Zero back into his lap, where he'd been subconsciously pulling away. He almost gets whiplash with how fast Kaname moves, and flinches when his hold becomes almost bruising - "You know you can kiss me, touch me whenever you like," Kaname insists, his lips coming close to brushing Zero's neck, "I just... I don't know if it goes the same for you."
Zero slides off the chair - say no more - he cannot take this with them literally nose-to-nose. Kaname thankfully picks up on his body language that he still wants to talk, and agreeably follows him to the other side of the room. He stops a couple feet from Zero, side-by-side, facing the patch of wall where there would be a window to look out of, if they weren't underground. Again, he finds Zero's gone all prickly. Untouchable. Getting any closer to him would be a bad idea. A very, very bad idea, he thinks, especially when Zero folds his arms over him like armour and refuses to look at him. Kaname shifts from leg to leg, eyeing his husband warily. These moments between them are never easy, and ever more frequent. Kaname loathes this constant indecisiveness. All he wants to do is kiss Zero back but he… he doesn't feel like he should.
"What are we doing, Zero?"
"What do you mean?"
Kaname sighs, his mouth pulling down. "Us," he repeats, glancing at Zero, "What are we?"
They're staring at a blank wall. It should be funny, but it's not. Kaname can sense Zero's impatience building, and yet, he waits for him to continue speaking.
So he confesses:
"I'm not blind, you know," he makes a face, hopes Zero doesn't see it, "I know you don't… love me, like you used to."
Zero's jaw drops, "How can you - "
"I can see into your mind, Zero," Kaname smiles weakly, and reaches up - as if he wanted to caress Zero's face, "Love is found there, not in the heart. The heart is nothing more than a muscle, the mind is where we feel, and I'm so deep entwined with you that I can see right down to the depths of your mind, to the roots of your emotions before they're even fully formed. I've seen your love for me unravel, wither down into a cold, broken little thing. So much confusion and pain, and it's all my fault, because I took you for granted."
"Kaname - "
"It's alright, Zero. Well, it's not, but I knew things would be different when I came back this time. I crossed a line. I kept you waiting for too long - our Bond went quiet. Did you notice that?" Zero nods reluctantly. "I couldn't sense how you were doing, and that's when I realised I'd pushed you too far away, and you'd shut me out - and rightfully so. Even then, I hoped you'd forgive me when I returned - and you did. You were so excited - the rush of love you had for me was so beautiful," there's a hoarseness to Kaname's voice that hurts to hear, it's enough to have Zero drop his arms and turn to face him. He hates that he can still care about Kaname this much, even when he drags up all these bad feelings, even when he confuses the hell out of him and makes him want to punch something. That tiny gesture seems to rebuild Kaname's confidence, enough so that he boldly takes Zero's wrist, and loosely holds onto it. "But things have changed nonetheless, and I should've realised things between us would change too."
"You've changed, Kaname," Zero cuts in, turning his wrist to join their fingers, the gentle action contradicting the hardness in his tone, "That's what's making everything so… difficult." So wrong.
"Maybe I am, but you're different too," Kaname reaches for Zero's other hand, and he lets him, "You're stronger. So much stronger. Not that you weren't strong before, but now, there's something else," he prods Zero's sternum, "That's kept you from falling to pieces."
Under such praise, Zero can't stop his cheeks going red, and he feels the exact opposite of what Kaname claims he is - weak, humbled, loved -
But what can he reply with? Kaname's already worked out his feelings are no longer quite so mutual - he seems to understand Zero better than he does himself. Zero squints at Kaname, struggling to find anything good to say. He still respects him, that's something deep-seated and absolute. An even after all the pain he's put him through, he still cares about him… but this change in Kaname… it's not easy to accept, if he's being honest. Just like Ichiru said, there's this ruthlessness about his actions, less thinking-before-doing than he used to do - of course, if Kaname is under someone else's control, then it's not his fault. But the things he's done off his own back - choosing to keep things from Zero, leaving so often, passive-aggressively coercing Zero to agree with his thinking… that's what Zero cannot get over. He doesn't like it, and cannot stand for it -
"Kaname, you've changed."
His voice cracks. Only three words, and he can barely get through them.
"You're - I can't love a man I barely know."
Kaname's smile doesn't dim, "I know, and I'm not expecting you to, which is why…" he gestures to the space between them, "… I was confused."
"About the kiss."
"About the kiss," he agrees, shrugging, "If you want to kiss me then that's fine by me, but I won't - it doesn't feel right for me to assume that it's alright to take such liberties with you. I suppose I'm confused. I'm not sure how - how we're going to do this. What's okay to do and not do."
"With each other."
"Yes."
"I'm not gonna do you like friends with benefits," Zero says immediately, "I'm not comfortable doing that. It wouldn't be right either for us."
"I'm glad you think so," Kaname admits, letting loose some tension with a deep breath, "I still love you, Zero. Not in the same way, of course, but it's still there - you can tell," he points at his neck, at the invisible bite-mark that's healed perfectly. Zero nods. He did feel that affection warming Kaname's blood, making it sweeter for him than it would be for anyone else. There's a twinge of guilt, but he glosses over it because Kaname's not angry at him for falling out of love with him. He's being unusually accommodating. This is another thing about Kaname that's changed - he's far more willing to take whatever he can wherever he can get it, aware that while he might not get Zero's love anymore and he might not be desperate enough to settle for a no-strings-attached relationship either, he'll take anything Zero has left for him. His kisses. His hands. Anything.
That hunger from before returns briefly. Zero wouldn't be surprised if drinking Kaname's blood triggered his carnal urge that followed. But he's not so naïve to think that lust was purely one-sided - no, there are some things that will never change. He will always think Kaname is the most beautiful man alive - his body will always burn for him, and he'll always want him, whether that be as a friend or a lover or… something in between.
"Yeah," Zero says softly, squinting at that unremarkable patch of blank wall they're confessing all of this to, "I guess I'm still trying to figure this out, too."
That twinkle in Kaname's eye remains - something in that sentence amuses him, something Zero cannot put a finger on, but it startles a laugh out of him. As they hold each other's hands, it almost feels like they're taking new vows which is so ironic, seeing as how they've basically agreed that things aren't going to work out between them like they want them to. They cannot go on pretending that things will work out eventually either. This is truly the end.
But it doesn't hurt - it's a wound that's almost finished healing and is beginning to scar, perhaps. This is the end of something beautiful - tragically short and horribly concluded… but something that was theirs, and theirs alone. It's purely coincidental that Zero's bubble of laughter shakes his bones in his thin chest, rustling his shirt open to reveal the wedding ring. The glint of it catches Kaname's eye, and he doesn't hesitate to reach for it. This was theirs, he thinks fondly. It wasn't a good marriage, but they tried their best at it - and when he looks up at Zero, he knows that some things can't be broken. The Bond coils tightly around them both, and Kaname presses a kiss to Zero's forehead.
This is unconditional, Zero thinks - this is the love a family shares. Naturally, his thoughts wander to the baby.
… and there's that speck of doubt. That worrying little thought that maybe - all of this - is another trick. This is hardly how he'd expected Kaname would react, this is hardly something he'd expect to find them agreeing on. It almost feels too easy, and that's what makes his hands pull Kaname's to his flat stomach because if Kaname loves the baby - if he can hold onto that love, and be anchored by it - then Zero will do this to keep him safe. All's fair in love and war, or how the saying goes. If he has to manipulate Kaname to ensure everyone's safety, then so be it.
Kaname gasps - there's a little resistance before his palms meet his stomachbut when it does, he doesn't move, not even to breathe.
"Relax," Zero laughs, staring at the wonder on Kaname's face. Something twists in his chest, stealing his breath… If I am no longer your reason for living, live for this - live for your child - Zero begs, and from the startled look he receives, Kaname picked up on it. His expression goes through a whirlwind of emotions - "It's only a lump of cells right now, isn't it?"
Kaname nods numbly, "No bigger than a speck."
"Nothing to cry over then," Zero grins, watching Kaname blink rapidly in answer. He absolutely does not think about the dreaded possibility of miscarriage, even when a small trickle of blood slicks the sanitary towel right at that moment. Nope. He's more than a little amazed that Kaname can care so much about this tiny speck of a person, something that's not even really alive yet. Again, he's floored by this seemingly immeasurable well of compassion Kaname has for so many things - so many people, even people he doesn't know. This is the Kaname Zero remembers - the one he loves. It's then that he understands - all those times he'd called on his imaginary Kaname, in those times where he needed him for comfort or advice or simply for company - that was Kaname. The old Kaname - the one he fell in love with - the one he married.
That Kaname is somewhere inside this new one, fighting against the change, desperate to stop himself from going rogue. On some level, Kaname knows it too - he's falling.
But we're gonna save him, a little voice pipes up, from somewhere inside him. Kaname's head whips up sharply, and he knows he's heard him. There's something like alarm in his look, but Zero shakes his head, and Kaname relaxes. For the first time since opening this gargantuan can of worms, Zero thinks there might be the thinnest of silver linings to cling onto - though they're fresh out of a failed relationship, they're still here. Still on the same side, starting anew. It's not much to hold onto, but still brighter than the things he's been thinking about as of late, and so they hold onto it - tightly - and together.
"I'm hungry."
"Shut up. For the last time, shut up."
They've been walking for hours. Hours and hours and days and - Kain knows they're getting worse and worse. Some of the burns on Aidou worry him - they've split skin and been cauterised by the flame, but the cuts are deep and some ooze pus. Infection. He can smell it starting to fester in a deep gash on Aidou's shin, but he won't let him check it. He's too determined to get to the second Nest before sun-down. This is the difficulty with 'radio-silence' and 'staying off the grid. They're all alone. They're injured and exhausted and hungry and yet, they cannot break cover. No, they just plough on.
After the initial ten hours following the fire, Kain's hearing started to get a little better, he thinks, but it's still not fully recovered. He doesn't need to hear Aidou though to know he's whining. That comes from having known him all his life. He can tell by the mud splashing the back of his heels that Aidou's kicking it at him, and the glare he's on the receiving end of is frosty enough to give him the chills.
This is how they work. They whine, complain, argue, fight - everything and anything to keep themselves distracted from the dismal situation they're in. They cannot afford to pause for rest or to orientate themselves - they know the way there anyway. It's branded in their minds - they made the second Nest, checked it over, maintained it, and locked it up for the time when it needed to be used, so Kain could find the Nest blindfolded, nose-pegged and ear-plugged. So could Aidou, but that doesn't stop him from asking -
"Are we there yet?"
"Fuck off, Hana," Kain grunts, not knowing that his mumble came out too low to be heard as anything more than a slur. He misses the worried look Aidou throws him too - he doesn't realise how off-kilter he actually is, too absorbed in the task of tracking to care that he's sometimes responding to Aidou when he's not even spoken to him.
Aidou keeps a track on how long they've been walking, how far they have to go, whether people are around or not, and most importantly, the wounds.
Kain has them too - he might be immune to his own fire, but that didn't stop him getting hurt from the blast, as shown by his damaged hearing. He staggers every now and again, greatly thrown off-balance by it, and this has caused twisted ankles and him walking straight into a tree once, smashing his nose and cutting his eyebrow. Aidou worries about how much longer they can last. He wants them to reach the Nest as fast as possible, but with Kain's injuries, they've had to slow down. Where are Kaname and the others? Are they safe? He reaches forward to brush fingers with Kain's swinging hand, and smiles a little when Kain wiggles his fingers and tickles his palm in response.
They - well - he saw a whole lot of media-people crowding the Castle from a distance. The problem was - after the media found out that there were no burnt corpses (which Aidou's glad to hear) amongst the rubble and the staff were found scattered around the nearby town, they realised that the head honchos were nowhere to be found, and so a searching party was formed - much to Aidou's despair. The people refused to believe their Kings were dead, which lead them to assume foul play - kidnapping or ransom. The only relief is that, as far as Aidou's aware, the media weren't too bothered with what happened to him or Kain. It was really just Kaname, Zero and the Ichijou's who held their interest.
But it never hurt to be cautious, so they stuck to the trees, far away from any roads or people.
"Ah - fuck, fuck my leg!"
Aidou skids to a stop, then bounds over to where Kain is sprawled over some roots. He's skinned his knee - but worse than that, he's clutching his leg and gasping for breath. "No," Aidou pants, crouching beside him - they can't deal with a broken leg. Not now - "Oh god, 'Kat, you have to - you have to - "
"Fucking hurts!"
"I know baby, but just calm down. Breathe with me - " Aidou begs, hauling Kain's upper body to his lap. The movement makes him clench his teeth as Kain screams - there's no one around, he reminds himself, which isn't such a good thing right now, he realises. With no one around - no help around - Kain needs him to do something. The problem is, for all the vast information Aidou knows, he knows it in theory, not practically. He knows he should be feeling for the break in Kain's bone and possibly righting it if it's misaligned - but his hands are shaking, no - all of him is shaking - and he can't bring himself to feel for the broken bone -
"Fuck," Kain gasps, turning away from him. He vomits on the roots, inches from Aidou - "S'rry."
"It's okay," Aidou hushes him, rubbing his shoulder. Nausea. Usually accompanies a broken bone, as well as fatigue and sweating. "Babe, do you - can you hear me?"
"Fuck. Fuck it hurts so bad…"
He can't hear him. And his eyes are screwed up so tight, he isn't reading Aidou's lips. Already he can feel hot bursts of fire pulsing under his hands - Kain's powers responding - and he's steaming in retaliation, cooling them down as best he can. If this continues though, Kain might lose control and burn them both. Aidou grits his teeth.
"Hurts," Kain whimpers, nearly breaking Aidou's heart.
"I know," he breathes, hissing as his hand smarts on Kain's burning forehead. He lays a thin sheet of ice over him but it's vaporised before it even touches him, "Baby, I'm trying to cool you down. You need to calm down. Can you do that for me?"
But Kain's passed out. His body is still pulsating energy and Aidou cries out as fire lashes at him, singing his fingers. He can't move, half-trapped by Kain's deadweight, and so lacking in energy that even breathing seems like an effort.
"I love how big you are, I really do - but fuck, do you have to be so goddamn heavy?" Aidou squawks, struggling to shove Kain off him. He growls when Kain flops back into place. "Fuck you, 'Kat. You're probably just pretending. Goddamn giant. You're such a fool, 'Kat. You should have never listened to me," he's cut off by a sob, gripping onto Kain's shoulder so tightly. It's fast approaching night time, and Aidou shrinks against his lover's hulking, practically lifeless body, clinging to his warmth. "You should have said I was stupid, with all those 'splosives. All those damn firecrackers and such. It was a fucking stupid idea. God - god, I'm so sorry - "
"Fucking hell. What did he do? Down a vat of steroids?"
Aidou's head whips up - too fast - he almost crumples from the head-rush, but then he's caught by someone with big hands and a rather crushing grip. The man is tall - really tall - like, possibly taller than Kain - and is in shadow, but Aidou swears he knows the person. There's something about his gruff voice that sparks a memory. He squints, no, it can't be -
"Yagari-sensei?"
The man grunts, lowering him to the ground gently enough to not rattle Aidou's brain out of commission.
It's Yagari-sensei for sure, but… why is he wearing that? Gone are his trademark eye-patch and cowboy-hat combo. In their place, he's grown his hair longer and tucked it around his right eye, under the hood of a large, thick parka. He's still got a cigarette clenched between his teeth, and he's still surprisingly tall and built for an older guy, but his outfit really throws Aidou, as does his change in hair colour to much more grey than he remembered from the last time he saw him.
"Kid, you look like you went ten rounds with a brick wall," he mutters, eyeing Aidou up-and-down, and peering down at Kain still lying on the floor. "And what happened to gigantor? He dead?"
Aidou starts, "No! Of course not - he, he just - " another sob escapes him as he finds himself choking on many more tears - tears of relief this time. He doesn't know Yagari well, but he knows he won't hurt him, and just having someone else there is good enough to have Aidou weeping.
"Alright, calm down," Yagari says tightly, clearly uncomfortable with Aidou crying. He crouches down to inspect Kain, tilting his head as he spots the unnatural angle of his ankle, "Fuck me, he's even bigger than I remember. What he do? Mess around with them muscle-building protein shakes? He's as big as a bull! How're you still breathing, kid?" he prods Aidou in the ribs, and then turns back to Kain, "Don't freak out. He's just broke his ankle's all," he drawls, tugging a long roll of used bandage from an inner pocket. He gasps when his fingers burn against Kain's skin though. "Damn. This the fire-kid, ain't it? That'd make you the ice-prince," he squints at Aidou. "You up to tying his foot?"
"Yes," Aidou nods, though he almost drops the bandages when handed them -
"Whoa," Yagari frowns, "You ain't seeing double, are ye? You look like you're ready to drop."
"That doesn't matter, 'Katsuki needs me - " Aidou whimpers when Kain flinches at his touch. He's putting his all into channelling ice around the ankle, though it's melting as he does so. He grits his teeth, fighting back the urge to scream. He's almost out of energy. Already there are black spots dancing in his vision, but Aidou refuses to give up. He grabs the bandage and quickly winds it around Kain's ankle -
Kain wakes up with a yell, eyes bright and feverish, "Fuck are you - what is this - Hana -"
"Shh," Aidou rasps, tying the ends together. "I'm just - you broke your ankle." His temperature's gone down to normal, so Aidou covers the whole thing in thick ice.
Kain blinks blearily between Aidou and Yagari and his ankle, and then returns to Yagari with a protective snarl -
"No, that's Yagari-sensei, 'Kat," Aidou pushes a hand on him to keep him from springing up. He's almost out himself - the black spots are getting bigger and hang over his vision. "He's not gonna hurt us…"
This calms Kain down, though he grimaces at his ankle and the smell of vomit. He blinks at Yagari a few more times, trying to work out why he doesn't look quite right, but the thunk Aidou's head makes with the tree root grabs his attention, "Hana - !"
"Reckon we'd better take him somewhere to rest. It's exhaustion, I bet," Yagari rumbles, "'nd probably some wounds too. Gotta get away from this road anyhow."
Kain nods, and with Yagari's help, stands up carefully - his ankle twinges, but Aidou's ice is numbing it quite well. He wonders why he's suddenly so awake, but puts it down to adrenaline, most likely. Even so, he darts a look at Yagari - he didn't have to though. With only a huff of irritation, the old Hunter bends down to scoop up Aidou, and gives Kain a raised brow for the 'okay' on this, sensing from their overprotective display that they're probably mates. Kain nods gratefully, though he cannot help but feel panicked when Yagari turns, blocking Aidou from sight, and starts walking.
He hobbles behind.
"Why are you here?" he asks.
Yagari glances back at him and slows his pace. "Reckon for the same reason as you. I'm looking for the typical suspects - those troublemakers I raised, and their kin," he wrinkles his nose, though only in jest, "Troublemakers probably ain't the right word for them - troublefinders, more like."
"What for?" Kain isn't against Yagari coming to talk to the others, but he can't help feeling that whatever news he brings isn't gonna make them smile.
Indeed, Yagari's mouth twists unpleasantly, and his eyes flit side to side.
"Best not speak of it out in the open," he mutters, to which Kain grudgingly agrees.
Even there, ten yards from a deserted road, you can never be too careful.
"My tracker's gone all crazy. It's lead me up and down this same road all day," Yagari says, glaring at the tarmac, "You know where the others are? I'm betting Kaito's with them, and I gotta speak with him and the rest of you lot."
"They'll be at the first Nest right now, and heading to the second one soon enough."
"Nest? What the bloody hell's a 'Nest'? You guys started chicken-farming whilst I was gone, eh?"
Kain can't help grinning, "No sensei, they're code for the safe-houses," then his smile disappears, "You aren't meant to know where they are."
Yagari rolls his eyes, "Relax. I promise you I don't. And if yer so cautious of me finding out, I'll follow you there blindfolded."
"It's not that I don't trust you - "
"I know - there's always a risk of things getting into the wrong hands." Yagari pictures himself getting caught sometime in the nearby future - being held for treason on the Hunters for letting these things happen without interference, and getting interrogated by the Council for Kaname's whereabouts. He doesn't mind much about the torturing or punishing - in fact, he's fairly used to it - but he's not prepared to be the one to give such vital information away, which is why he doesn't want to have the information in the first place. Though he's wary of Kain's current state of mind, what with him so badly injured and running purely on adrenaline, he'd still prefer not knowing. "You okay with leading the way?"
"To where? The first Nest?"
"I dunno. Where do you think they'll be by the time we reach it?"
Kain's shoulders slump, "The second one."
"Then take us there," Yagari rolls his eyes again.
"Hai sensei," Kain sighs. It's actually better that they go that way - Aidou and he have been heading there for god knows how long on foot. They're probably only a few hours away from base by now. Kain hopes his adrenaline burst will last that long, but when he glances at Aidou's slumped form, it flares again - and he knows he will, because he must.