Once more the worlds of The Fairly Odd Parents and Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius collide in the ring. However this time it's a little different. This time, the boys take on the girls in inter-gender warfare! The stakes have never been higher then they are tonight. LIVE from the brand new Purple Flurp Arena in downtown Retroville, Texas and only available on Pay-Per-View…it's The St. Valentine's Day Massacre!
Hello again! It is now time for the Retroville Main Event! In this contest, Jimmy Neutron squares off against his girlfriend Cindy Vortex in a match to be contested under Extreme Rules! Extreme Rules means exactly that. No count outs, no disqualifications…anything goes. The only way to win is by pinfall or submission. Which one will take their beloved to the extreme? Read on to find out! Disclaimer is in chapter one.
The crowd is buzzing once more. The ringside area has been cleared of the debris from the last contest between Timmy and Tootie. The camera pans backstage and shows both Jimmy and Cindy making their way to the entranceway. Both look fired up and confident as they stretch their bodies in anticipation of the war they are about to endure.
"Just like with Timmy and Tootie, you can feel the excitement radiating from the crowd! This is a match that most of us in Retroville never thought we would see, especially after these two started dating. However, here we are about to bear witness to a battle of epic proportions! I for one can't wait!" Eustace commented.
"And just like with the preceding contest, the level of danger is off the scale! Extreme Rules are not something to take lightly, however I don't think you need to tell that to Jimmy and Cindy. They know what environment they are about to enter, and the risks that come with it!" Wanda replied.
"They may be well aware of the risks, but the reward is so much greater Wanda. There may not be as much on the line as with Turner and McDonald, but that isn't saying that it isn't as big a victory."
The camera pans one more time from the announce team to Chet, who stands ready.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall…and it will be contested under Extreme Rules!"
"Thunder Kiss '65" by White Zombie blares through the P.A. system.
"Introducing first: Born in Cambridge, Massachusetts, weighing in at 161 lbs.: JIMMY NEUTRON!"
Jimmy walks through the fog wearing just jean shorts and sneakers, and soaks in the adulation of the fans. He slaps hands with some of the fans along the aisle before sliding into the ring. He stands and stares at the entranceway, waiting for the woman he loves, as well as his opponent tonight.
His music dies down, and then is replaced by "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera.
"His opponent: From Retroville, Texas…CINDY VORTEX!"
Cindy steps through the fog in her trademark powder blue leather halter top and jet black pants. She locks eyes with Jimmy and glares at him. She enters the ring and immediately gets nose to nose with him. The referee steps between them and pries them apart. He goes over the rules, and then calls for the bell to start the match.
The moment the bell rings, Jimmy dives out and roots under the ring for a weapon. He pulls out a steel chair. He rolls back in the ring and stops short when he spies Cindy holding a big stop sign. She steps forward, swings, and he ducks out of the way. Jimmy then swings his chair and Cindy ducks out of the way. She charges, but he is able to counter with a deep arm drag takedown.
That leads to a series of arm drags, the final one sending Cindy into the ropes where she crumples in a heap. He pulls her out to the middle of the ring, bounces off the ropes and executes a back flip splash for the first near fall of the contest. After kicking out, Cindy rolls to the outside for a breather. She didn't recover for long, as Jimmy nailed her with a baseball slide, knocking her backwards into the security wall.
"You were right Eustace; this is turning out just like Timmy and Tootie in the fact that both Jimmy and Cindy checked their love for one another at the door!" Wanda said.
Jimmy went to pick Cindy up, but she shifted her body weight and slid out of his grasp. He went for a clothesline, but she ducked and kicked him right between the legs. The male portion of the crowd groaned right along with Jimmy as he doubled over, allowing Cindy to hit a bulldog that sent Jimmy face first to the protective mats.
She then grabs the chair that Jimmy introduced into the match and slides it under his chin. She walks around and shoves Chet out of his chair and folds it up. She goes back by Jimmy, rears back and slams the chair as hard as she can down. However, Jimmy was able to roll out at the final moment and the reverberations from steel meeting steel caused Cindy to cry out and drop the chair.
"Cindy was looking to scramble Neutron's brains, but he had the instincts to roll out of the way! We're back to square one in this match!" Eustace called as the action continued.
With Cindy rubbing her hands together, Jimmy shook loose the cobwebs and rammed her head into the ring apron. He rolls her back in the ring, but doesn't follow her in. He digs under the ring again, but this time he pulled out two items: a bulging burlap bag and a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire! He pushes the two items in the ring and rolls back in.
"Jimmy Neutron is definitely taking things to the extreme! Look at the deadly weapons that he pulled out from under the ring, if either one can use the bat or whatever is in the bag, this match is as good as over!" Wanda cried.
Back inside, Jimmy didn't see Cindy gaining momentum off of the ropes. When he looked up, Cindy came flying at him and executed a swinging neck breaker. She drug him up by his shorts and Irish whipped him into the corner with such velocity that he flipped up and over the turnbuckle and tumbled to the floor.
Cindy slid out after him, but was met with a punch right to the stomach. On his knees, Jimmy fought with all he had. He had used a series of punches to get back to a vertical base, but it didn't last long. Cindy caught him with a kick to the ribs that staggered the genius.
It allowed Cindy to smash his head into one of the monitors that Eustace and Wanda use for commentary, busting the young man open. She rolled him onto the table and climbed up after him. She set him up and hit her version of the Twist of Fate, which she calls the 'Eye of the Vortex'; however the table didn't break due to some extra support being added to the table in case of such a situation.
"Cindy hits the Eye of the Vortex! Jimmy Neutron's blood has stained our table and our monitors! What an incredible move by Cindy Vortex!" Eustace yelled.
"But she can't follow up because this isn't a Falls Count Anywhere match Eustace! Jimmy has to be dead weight at this moment, and it's going to take incredible effort for Cindy to drag him back to the ring for the pin!" Wanda replied.
Cindy had heard what Wanda said and cursed herself for her shortsightedness. Jimmy had rolled off the table in front of the announce team, and appeared to be knocked out cold. She grabbed both of his arms and drug him to the ring. She hefted him up on her shoulders and pushed him in the ring. She rolled in and dove on top of him, but only got a two and a half count when Jimmy weakly got his right shoulder up.
"How in the hell did he get his shoulder up?" Wanda asked.
"I don't have a damn clue Wanda." Eustace replied, stunned at this turn of events.
Cindy slammed her fists into the mat in frustration. She stared at the referee and held up three fingers. While she was complaining, Jimmy had managed to grab a hold of the barbed wire baseball bat. When she was done ranting, she turned around and Jimmy buried the bat into her abdomen. With Cindy doubled over, Jimmy drove the barbed wire into her back.
With Cindy on her knees, Jimmy walked over to the bag and held it up high for all to see. The crowd cheered as he opened it up, and the cheers became deafening as he poured thousands of thumbtacks all over the mat. He used his shoes to spread them out then turned his attention back to his girlfriend.
"Oh my God, this has to be taking things too far! How can he even think of using thumbtacks on his girlfriend?!" Wanda yelled.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures Wanda. Now we know why Neutron wanted this to take place under Extreme Rules!" Eustace replied.
He waited for Cindy to get back to her feet. Once she did, he kicked her below the belt and set her up for his finisher: a variation of the Sky High called the 'I.Q. Drop'. He held her up and dropped her right onto the thumbtacks.
"HOLY CRAP!" both commentators cried out upon impact.
Since it was a sit-out power bomb, Jimmy was in perfect position for the pin. It was academic as the referee bent and counted the one-two-three.
"Here is your winner: JIMMY NEUTRON!" Chet announced as the crowd went wild.
Jimmy celebrated in the ring as the referee checked on the welfare of Cindy. Suddenly his music was cut off, and Timmy's entrance music rang out through the arena.
"What in the world could Timmy want?" Eustace yelled.
Timmy made his way down to the ring with his right arm in a sling. He climbed in the ring and called for a microphone.
"You know, when Jimmy and I first came up with the idea for this event, we also knew that there was only one way to end the show, no matter what the outcome of our matches were. So I would like every guy in the back to come on down." Timmy stated.
The song "Cowboys from Hell" by Pantera blared through the speakers as every guy (sans Mark of course) made their way to the ring. The referee had helped Cindy out of the ring, and she was staring incredulously at every male in the ring. Jimmy asked for another microphone, and waited for the music to die away to begin to speak.
"We knew that there might be some animosity coming our way from the girls, no matter who won the contests. So Timmy and I, along with everyone else decided to show some class and toast our wives, fiancées, and girlfriends. So boys, let's have ourselves a good old fashioned beer bash!"
The timekeeper began dishing out cans of beer. They all turned towards the entranceway and toasted before downing their beers. To their shock, "Everytime We Touch" began to play, and down came Tootie along with the other women (minus Vicky). They made their way to the ring and stood with Cindy looking up at the guys. Tootie received a microphone of her own and began to speak.
"You know, after everything that has happened tonight…I must say that I am surprised that you guys would do something like this. While we appreciate the gesture, I'm upset that you didn't invite us down to drink with you." She stated calmly. She, along with the rest entered the ring and stood toe to toe with the guys.
Timmy and Jimmy looked at one another, and then called for beers for the women. They handed the cans to their respective ladies before wrapping them up and kissing them. The crowd went wild as all the participants in the event found their significant other and hugged and kissed them. Then Tootie turned to Timmy and spoke once more.
"Timmy, I love you more then anything in this world. I want you to be more involved with the planning of our wedding." she began with tears brimming. "Speaking of which, I've decided to cash in my Money in the Bank for lack of a better term at our next event!" she finished.
Timmy turned away, and then turned back with a big smile on his face. He bent down and brushed his lips against hers as the crowd went crazy over the announcement. They exited the ring, followed closely by Jimmy and Cindy, and the four made their way up the ramp as the rest celebrated in the ring.
"You have been watching The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, from the Purple Flurp Arena in Retroville, Texas. Thank you so very much for tuning in for this momentous occasion, and we hope you tune in for our next event, which I guess we can call: 'Wedded Bliss'. For Eustace Styrch, this is Wanda Geronimo saying: Goodnight from Retroville!" she said as the four raised their arms in victory as the show faded to black.
The End.
A/N: Read and Review. Well, that's the show ladies and gentlemen. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I have one last chapter left, just a quick rundown of the card and the results of every match. Thank you once more to everyone who has reviewed through the course of this fic.