A/N: Again, I'm late. I'm very very sorry. On the bright side, I've already started on the next couple of chapters. Yays! There wasn't a lot of time to focus on the humor, but next chapter I'll get right on it! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it. All events and dialogue from the original manga/anime are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Yosh.

Chapter 10 - A Real Mission: Journey to the Land of Sea or Water or Something.

The sun shone brightly overhead and trickled through the trees as a suspenseful breeze sung through the forest. The rustling of leaves and the echo of working static could be heard in the tense silence. An earbud hummed in the distance.

"Sasuke. I'm at Point B." chh.

Intensity rang in the atmosphere.

"Sakura. I'm at Point C." chh.

"Naruto. Point A, believe it!" chh.

"You're slow Naruto.' chh.

...

"Kaya?" chh.

...

"Kaya!" chh.

chhh. "Holy fuck, how do you work this thi-" chh.

"Just put it in your ear, Kaya-chan!" chh.

"...Oh. Sorry. Yeah, roger that... or something." chh.

Sigh. "Okay, Squad seven, - hm?"

A shadowed creature leapt out from the trees and darted into the bushed with a dizzying speed. Kakashi-sensei's voice over the mike turned urgent.

"Target has moved! Follow it!"

Naruto poked his head out from a random tree stealthily.

"It's over there!" he whisper-yelled. Sasuke and Sakura appeared nearby him in similar fashions.

I blinked as it occurred to me that I was nowhere near them and stumbled out of my bush to catch up. With all the grace of a blind chicken, of course.

"Hey!" I panted when I finally reached Sakura's tree. I'd been chasing these people around all freaking morning. Just... so not cool. "How'd you get all the way over here?!"

Nobody looked at me, but Sasuke kindly offered an annoyed 'Shh!'. Then they all moved again and I was left standing alone.

"Crap!" I resumed chasing after them.

Kakashi-sensei's bored voice sounded over the ear piece. "What's your distance from the target?" chh.

Naruto squinted his eyes in concentration as I approached his tree in all my befuddled glory. "Five meters. I'm ready, just give me the signal!"

Snigger. They use the metric system here.

"Hey, you guys-"

"I'm ready too."

"So am I."

"Excuse me-"

chh. "Okay... now!"

Everyone pounced at once. Leaves and twigs and pink hair went flying, but it was Naruto who managed to incapacitate the evil cat first. Or try to, at least.

"I got him, I got him!" He declared triumphantly as the feline brutally attacked his face, claws, teeth, and all.

I tumbled into the clearing just a beat too late and assumed what I fondly referred to as the 'I swear to God I'll poke you in the eye,' stance. My head whipped around readily. "Wha-? Who-?"

"Can you verify the ribbon on its right ear?" chh.

Sasuke turned and straightened up all importantly. "Affirmative. We have a positive ID."

"Right. Lost pet Tora, captured. Mission complete."

"Affirmative ID? It's a cat." I fell back on my butt and sighed, grateful to finally be off my feet. "You know, this kind of sucks. Do we have to use these things? I feel like a cheap James Bond."

"Can't we get a better mission than this?! I HATE CATS!"

Sasuke scowled and ripped out his earbud. He glared at the blonde reproachfully. "Stop complaining, dobe."

Naruto screeched as what was formally known as 'Tora' landed a gruesome scratch to his chin. I sniggered.

"Dude. It's like, latching onto your face."

"Get it off!" Naruto tried to roll onto his side. Tora clawed her fury. "I like my face!"

"Loser."

Sakura grabbed at the cat's belly. "Hold still, Naruto!"

"Ahhh!"

Kakashi-sensei popped down from a tree and cast a blank look at the two's struggles before turning to me and Sasuke.

"Okay, team. Time to go report."

I blinked. "We have to report? To who?"

"I think I have rabies!" Naruto sobbed as Sakura finally got a reign on the weird cat. Kakashi-sensei eye-crinkled.

"To the owner, of course."

I was just through the threshold to the room when a hideously obese woman tackled poor Sakura to the ground and snatched the cat away, screaming and blubbering her heart out. The ballet-studio-like room echoed with her thundering footsteps. Naruto made an appalled noise as she proceeded to molest the poor thing to its death. I should stress this, actually. She practically raped it. Sickening, I tell you. Sickening.

"Oooh, my poor little Tora! Mommy was so worried about you!" she cooed songfully. Tora sobbed. "Aw, my little fuzzy-kins, yeeah!"

I leaned over to Sakura, more than slightly horrified. "Who is that woman again?"

"The Feudal Lord's wife," she winced as the cat's eyes bugged out of its face. "Scary, isn't she?"

"Ah," Her chins wobbled and I was sucked into a strange, morbid trance. "Dear God... it's... ghastly."

Naruto laughed as Tora cried tears of terror. "Haha! Stupid cat! That kitty deserves to be squished!"

"No wonder she ran away." Sakura said.

I nodded. "No one deserves that fate."

Everyone sighed collectively.

"Now then," someone began tiredly. Being the inquisitive soul I am, I looked around for the source. My eyes widened when they landed on-

"Jesus!" I squeaked. None other than the Hokage himself sat tiredly at a long conference table, taking a resigned puff of his pipe. Sakura threw me a questioning look when I stiffened to attention. The Hokage was here? Did we do something wrong? Was I going to be exiled and forced to live on a mountaintop, fending for myself and living off flambéed raccoons?! Why was everyone just standing around?!

Mr. Hokage, looking awfully bored in all of his elderly glory, sighed and picked up a scroll. "For Squad seven's next mission we have several available tasks..."

I stopped. We weren't being punished? Then isn't this sort of a... trivial thing for a Hokage to do? Did I misjudge his significance?

"Among them, babysitting a councilor's three-year-old," I twitched. Violently. "Helping his wife do the shopping," Sakura sighed. "Carrying potatoes," Sasuke kicked an invisible pebble. "Pulling weeds-"

"NOO!"

Everyone looked at Naruto, who was suddenly emitting a loud, obnoxious groan. I stared at him with something akin to horror. He just interrupted the Hokage! He can't do that, can he?!

"I wanna' go on a real mission! Something challenging and exciting, not this little kid stuff!" he squinted and pouted. "Come on, Old Man!"

My eyes darted around in panicked disbelief as I waited for someone, anyone to shut him up. Sasuke's look said, 'he's got a point', Sakura looked a little agitated and Kakashi-sensei just looked like he saw this one coming. I tugged on Sasuke's arm. He looked down with an annoyed expression, then blinked. I realized I probably looked like I was about to keel over and have an epileptic seizure, so I tried to tune down the 'freak-out-o-meter'. Just a bit.

"He can't do that can he?!" I whispered frantically, getting more jumpy with each absurdity that flew out of the blonde's mouth. "Why is no one stopping him?!"

He might have answered me, but before I could react some guy with a gaping scar across his face slammed his fists on the table and shot out of his seat angrily. Part of me was relieved and the other part passed out.

"HOW DARE YOU! You're just a brand-new genin with no experience! Like everyone else, you start out with simple missions to develop your skills and prove yourself!"

My shoulders actually sagged with relief. Then Naruto opened his mouth again.

"Are you serious?! Babysitting isn't a mission it's just a stupid-"

My fist made contact with the back of his head. Several people in the room blinked. Repeatedly.

"Naruto... why?"

Then I bowed. While I whole-heartedly agreed with him, there was a time and place for bitching. That place was not in front of the guy providing me food and shelter.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hokage! Naruto was just virtually mauled by a distraught cat. Please excuse his untimely tantrum!"

Kakashi-sensei sighed and the Hokage began to laugh. A sweat drop rolled down my head.

"It's good to see you're fitting in, Kaya-san." he chuckled.

"...Thank you, Sir." I replied weakly. Then I shrunk into a hunch of a human and went to go hide behind Sasuke, who was now officially dubbed my human shield. On days we didn't mutually want to harm each other.

Mr. Hokage rubbed his brow as Naruto started crying again. "Any whom, it seems you do not understand the tasks you have been given," he paused to consider us, then removed his pipe and rested it in his hand. "Listen, many different kinds of requests come into our village everyday. From babysitting to assassinations..."

And then there were several long explanations and many graphic charts that we won't get into for the sake of our story, but all in all after a few answered questions and a lot of patience, I was thoroughly enlightened on the shinobi mission ranking system. Along with several other completely irrelevant topics. Who said old people don't ramble?

By the time he finally decided we'd been lectured enough, Naruto had been rolling off detailed accounts of his many ramen adventures for about five minutes. A vein twitched in his head.

"Silence!"

I jumped and Kakashi-sensei rubbed his head. "Oh. Sorry."

Well, I thought it was interesting.

Naruto spun around. "You always lecture me like you're my grandfather or something! I'm not the little brat who used to pull pranks all the time - I'm a ninja now and I want a ninja mission! Hm!" he pouted defiantly.

Oh no... glomping urges... taking over!

"Ah! Kaya-chan, you're choking me!"

"Shut up. You're cute. Be my puppy!" Hm. I feel sporadic today.

Kakashi sensei sighed again in the background. "I'm going to hear about this later..."

Suddenly Mr. Hokage and Guy with Gaping Nose Scar laughed, re-drawing collective attention. Hokage plucked his pipe up contently and shoved it back in his mouth.

He shrugged. "So be it."

"...Huh?"

"Since you are so determined, Naruto, I'm going to give Squad seven a C-ranked mission." I tried to calculate the level of that in my head absently. Was C high or low? Are there records of these things? I pictured a report card with three D's and a C and died a little inside. "You'll be bodyguards on a journey."

Two words in that statement caught my attention. 'Journey' and 'Bodyguard'. Great.

"Do I look like a bodyguard to you?" I mumbled to myself depressingly. I rocked onto my tip-toes. If I were just a tiny bit taller...

Naruto jumped up eagerly. "Really?! Yes! Who, who? Are we guarding a princess-?" What is it with Naruto and princesses, I pondered vaguely. A fetish, perhaps? "- or some big-league councilor?!"

Hokage sighed like he was already regretting this. "Don't be so impatient. I will bring him in now." He lifted his head and released a puff of smoke. "Send in our visitor!"

We all looked to the door expectantly. A second went by and nothing happened. Then he entered.

I knew this was going to be trouble when the first thing through the doorway was a suspicious looking bottle of alcohol. I rubbed my face. "Here we go..."

"What the-" came the gravelly slur of the old man. He wore dirty peasant clothes and a white rope tied around his forehead. Just his countenance made me wish I'd stayed home this morning. "A buncha' snot-nosed kids?" Twitch. He took some sloppy gulps of his beer or whatever . "And you, the little one with the idiotic look on your face, you really expect me to believe you're a ninja?"

Naruto started to say something, but was silenced when everyone took a cautious step away from me. I pretty much imploded.

"God damn it! I am not short! Where I'm from I was a perfectly healthy, if not above average height! I'm going to take that rope on your face and tie it around your neck!"

Kakashi-sensei grabbed my head boredly as I tried to charge at him. "Kaya, you can't demolish the client. It doesn't work that way."

"Oh, we'll see how things work when I dissect him!"

The old man gulped some more 'stuff', completely disregarding my entirely viable threats. "I am Tazuna, a master bridge builder-" I snorted. "- and I must return to my country. I'm building a bridge there that will change our world-" I snorted even louder. Sasuke stepped on my foot. "-and I expect you to get me there safely... even if it means giving up your life."

There was a long, dramatic silence during which I crossed my arms and fumed to myself. There was no way I was going to die for this Tazuna character any time soon. Who would want to murder a bridge-builder, anyway? Was he that conceited? Well, he did hire four ninjas as escorts, didn't he? Ooh, bad things are going to happen to this guy, I thought gleefully.

"Okay then." Kakashi-sensei snapped everyone out of their trances, "Everybody go home and pack. We'll meet at the gate in half an hour."

"W-what?!" I gaped at him as Sakura and Naruto cheered. "We just finished a mission! We're going so soon?!"

"You bet." He eye-crinkled (evilly). "Team seven, dismissed." Poof!

"But-" I turned to Sakura, only to find a vacant space of air. Surprise, surprise; everyone else had left too.

I looked back to the Hokage helplessly, who waved with a pleasant smile on his face. I groaned and started running for the umpteenth time that day.

"Crap!"

I jiggled the doorknob impatiently. Damn ninjas and their assumption that everyone on the face of the earth is ready to pick up and ditch everything at moment's notice. Not that I had anything to ditch, but still. Not cool. I wasn't even used to this village yet and suddenly I'm getting shipped off to some distant country? On foot? Curses. Curses from every holy figure ever adhered to. The key clicked and I kicked it in satisfaction. I wouldn't have time to pack; I'd just have to stuff my toothbrush and a change of clothes-

The door swung open and I was met with two ridiculous looking animal masks. On my couch. With their feet on the table. Playing cards?

"Oh great," I sighed dramatically and kicked the door shut. Poor abused door... "What? Is my apartment the fab new ANBU hangout now? Don't you people have homes? Or bad guys to annihilate?"

Teddy's head popped up from the backboard. If he had a face, it would have blinked. "Kaya-san. You are home early."

I took a moment to throw something random at his head (don't worry, he caught it) before continuing into my room. "I'm not going to ask how you know that. You-" I pointed to the one with a bird mask, "Tweetie. Feet off the coffee table. Anyway, I'm going to be out for an indefinite amount of time." I scooped up my hastily prepared backpack and got ready to head out again. "No crazy ANBU sex orgies while I'm gone. And don't eat my food."

Suddenly Teddy was blocking the door with his arms crossed. I pouted and one of Teddy's teammates sniggered because I said 'orgy'. Yeah, I know.

"Tedddyyy, I'm gunna' be late!" he kept me still as I tried to body-smash him out of the way. "Fine, you can eat my food! I don't know what any of it is anyway."

"Where are you going?" he asked seriously. I grinned, spontaneously overcome with excitement.

"On a mission! A real one this time. We're escorting some old drunk guy to the land of sea or water or something. Cool, huh?"

Teddy looked at me and I looked at him and his teammates looked at us and somewhere far away a wolf looked at a maggot and another ant committed suicide. Teddy sighed.

"Very well. Do you have a change of clothes?"

"Yes."

"Bandages?"

"Uh, somewhere."

"Toothbrush?"

"Mhm."

"... female things?"

"Ack! Teddy! Jesus!"

"Kunai?"

"Yup. Wait- what?"

Without hesitation, he was handing me an abundance of sharp, dangerous looking abject and stuffing them into my bag. My eyes widened.

"Woah! Am I legally allowed to take these?"

"Yes." He stuffed some funny ninja-star things into the band on my leg. So that's what it was for... "You are a ninja, are you not? It's your occupation. You are responsible for carrying weaponry."

"B-but-" he handed me a weird roll of twine that he'd seemingly pulled out of his ass. Where did they keep this stuff? "I don't know how to use any of this. I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to string someone to death."

"Don't worry, your sensei will probably teach you if you ask."

My mind drifted to a cold, one-eyed glare and watchful, hovering distrust. I cried.

"Somehow I doubt it."

"When are you supposed to meet your team?"

"Hmm..." I looked at the clock in the kitchen. "'Bout... twelve minutes ago."

And I was subsequently shoved out of my home and into the hallway, followed by a series of friendly 'good-luck's and the slam of a door. I gawked awkwardly for a minute, then bristled.

"Fine!" I stomped down the hallway and toward the staircase. "I don't need you anyway! Go ahead and share your stupid anecdotes over my coffee table in my house with my ambiguous snack foods - see if I care! Stupid adolescent home wreckers! What if this whole ANBU thing is a farce? What if their all really a gang? What if I've been initiated!" I stopped in my tracks and gasped. A lady passing by in the hall scurried away from me. "Is there gang-violence in Naruto? What the hell is on TV these days?! What if they've planted a tracking device on me?!"

I snatched the bag off my back and clawed through its contents, pricking my fingers on several foreign objects and breaking an already mutilated nail on something round I didn't take the time to examine. Something thin and smooth brushed my pinkie and my hands froze.

"..." That...

I quickly brushed away the clutter, revealing a slightly worn, but otherwise in mint-condition photo of my family. I swept a finger under the familiar smiling faces and smiled.

Okay, I decided as I replaced the picture gingerly. I swung it back onto my shoulder and jogged towards the door, a new determination set in my gut. Maybe I could forgive Teddy this one time.

Naruto pumped his fists in the air as we exited the gates, practically foaming at the mouth in excitement. "Yeah! Alright!"

"What are you so excited about, Naruto?" Sakura asked distastefully.

I nodded reluctantly. "Really. Don't give yourself a hernia."

"This is the first time I've ever left the village!" he struck a few snazzy explorer-poses. "I'm a traveler now, believe it!"

I rubbed my neck as Sakura huffed and walked up beside Sasuke, who looked like he just wanted to get going. Now. "It's not really all that great. There are so many trees around here you can't even see the mountains."

Sakura suddenly got stars in her eyes. "You've been to the mountains?! How romantic - did your sensei train you there? Tell me all about it!"

Crap. "Um, well I haven't actually been to them, just sort of... around them?"

Tazuna approached before Sakura could make me the victim of another tirade. He jerked his mysterious bottle at me and Naruto.

"Hey, am I supposed to trust my life to these runts?" Naruto giggled giddily and jumped back and forth like a lunatic. I twitched. "They're a couple of jokes!"

"You have something to say, Old Man?!" I started to charge again, but Kakashi-sensei held me back. "Huh? You want some of this?! I will annihilate you, you drunken, arrogant old basta- mmph!"

He laughed politely. "Naruto's with me and I'm a Jounin, so you don't need to worry," Naruto pouted and sulked. "As for Kaya, her height is not a disadvantage to us. Please do not underestimate my ability to protect you."

I hung my head and sighed into Sensei's hand. I didn't think it was that noticeable. There goes my self-esteem...

Suddenly Naruto jumped up and pointed an angry finger at Tazuna. "Hey! Never insult a ninja, it's a big mistake! And I'm one of the greatest ninja ever-"

"Screw this." I broke free and reached for Tazuna's face. "I'm going to cut this fool."

Kakashi-sensei sighed and cuffed me over the head. Naruto sulked again because he didn't get to finish his speech.

Tazuna laughed. "The day you become the greatest ninja ever I'll sprout wings and fly."

"Ahh, shut up! I'm willing to do anything to become Hokage, no matter what it takes!"

And for some bizarre reason my mental imagery chose this moment to wander off into La-La Land, conjuring up an evil voice inside my head that replied, 'Even prostitution?!'. Then a picture of little Naruto in a tight mini-skirt and lipstick make me choke on my spit and cough. Sakura patted my on the back awkwardly and Sasuke shook his head.

Naruto continued, unperturbed. "When I become Hokage everyone will have to admit I'm the top ninja, including you!"

"Heh," Tazuna said. "You can become Hokage ten times over and to me you'll still be a nobody. A loser."

We both pounced at the same time.

"I'm gunna' make you pay!"

"Who'll be the loser when I wipe the floor with your face?!"

"Naruto, Kaya, please stop trying to attack the client."

Kakashi-sensei lifted us off the ground by our shirts as Tazuna began down the path. I crossed my arms and seethed while Naruto continued shouting at his retreating back. Honestly, what was this guy's problem? What kind of disorder do you need to have to just downright disrespect people like that? Picking on little kids... really? Does he have a death wish or is he just stupid? Or drunk? I made a face as I realized it was probably the last one.

When Tazuna was far enough that we couldn't jump him but close enough to be safe, Kakashi-sensei dropped us on our butts and gave us a scary eye-crinkle.

"Now, behave." He said simply. We nodded in unison and quickly aligned ourselves behind our other two teammates. Apparently Naruto had caught on to my human-shield revelation. Yay for sacrificial bait!

"Okay kids-" Glares. "Err, Team. Let's get going."

And so we began our frivolous journey to the land of sea or water or something.

"Oh my God, my legs are killing me."

"Kaya-chan, we've been walking for fifteen minutes."

"...really?"

"Yup."

"... damn."

"Can't... go on... any longer."

"But we're not even a third of the way there yet!"

"Nnngh." Dies.

Kick. "Get up. You're slowing us down."

"Oh you just go shove it. I'm tired and Drunkee McGee over there smells weird."

"Hn."

"Hey Sasuke-kun, look at this flower! Doesn't it remind you of me?"

"No."

"Narutooo, carry meee."

"I can't, Kaya-chan! I'm carrying the bags, believe it!"

"Sasukee-"

Glare.

"Fine, Mr. Grumpy."

"Hey, don't get distracted you four. We're on a mission."

"But Tazuna smells funky."

"Deal with it."

"Hey Sasuke, if I braided your hair would it stick up?"

Grimace. "How would I know that?"

Shrug. "Just a question. Wanna' find out?"

"No. Stop talking."

After a while I had no choice but to turn to personal entertainment. Nobody was willing to make casual conversation and my focus on the situation was faltering badly from fatigue. Time to play the humming game.

I used to play it in Middle School when people were still creeped out by me. It was a fun little past-time that both annoyed people and gained some interesting reactions. Basically, you wait until it's really quiet, then start humming obnoxiously. Believe it or not, most people are never entirely sure what to do. There are very few that have the audacity to just turn around and tell you to shut up, so its entertaining to try and guess what each person would do and who would do it first. My bets were on Sasuke or Kakashi-sensei. So what if I made his impression of me worse? This was absolutely maddening. Maddening.

I started off with a version of 'Homeward Bound' I'd learned in the third grade because it was simple and less likely to aggravate anyone. Naruto shot me a weird look and Tazuna made a gurgling sound that might have been a snort, but otherwise nobody said anything. I went on a little longer.

I'd been going for about five minutes repeating the same verse before I realized that they were ninjas and/or drunk and probably had and unbelievable level of patience. Therefore I started to get bored again. I was just about to put an end to the game and sigh when Sakura spoke up.

"That's a pretty song, Kaya!" she glittered earnestly. I sighed. It would have been much more interesting had it actually annoyed her. "What's it called?"

I blinked. Oh yeah… they don't know any American folksongs do they? Well then, leave it to Kaya to teach you, young, untainted youthful minds!

"It's called Homeward Bound. It's a folksong from my country. I would sing you the words, but I suck at all things musical."

"Wow…" she sighed. I rolled my eyes. "Do you ever miss it there? In your village, I mean."

"Hm…" I wiped some sweat off my forehead and considered it. The air was damper now, I noticed. The trees were a duller shade too. Maybe we were getting closer. "A little, I guess. Only because it's so different here… but I don't miss the village so much as I do my family." There was a pang in my stomach as I realized it was true. "I just hope they aren't worried."

"Do you have any siblings?" she asked eagerly. I looked away and smiled absently.

"Mhm. A little sister. You look just like her, actually."

"Oh! Really?" she flittered and started flipping her hair. I laughed. What kind of reaction was that?

I started to face forward again when I noticed that both Naruto and Sasuke had gone unusually (or in Naruto's case, at least) quiet and had both their ears tilted suspiciously in our direction. I grinned.

"Yeah. My village has a lot of old folk-songs and stuff. We also have moral traditions too. Like people who eavesdrop have their heads turned into onions."

Sakura looked confused and Sasuke just snorted, but he turned away anyway. Naruto's face turned blue and he put a hand to his cheek, just to make sure.

After that everything was pretty quiet. We passed over a bridge that led us onto another path that looked miraculously similar to the one we'd been on for the last three hours. If all missions were this boring I was going to hang myself. No, I was going to hang Tazuna, then hang myself. In that order. Actually there are probably some maimings I should fit in there before I'm put away for Tazuna's untimely demise, maybe a lecture or two as well. I should write an autobiography, I thought to myself wistfully. I'll tell the story of how I became a ninja and was tragically sent down a spiral of despair, ultimately leading to the most infamous case of premeditated murder any Naruto character had ever seen. It would sell millions! Jiraiya would be my editor/publisher thing. The whole world would gather at my feet to hear the story of 'Kaya, Girl Turned Villainous-'

Gross murky water splashed into my sandals as I stepped into a giant ugly puddle. I groaned and started shaking it out while trying to keep up with the others on one leg. No more dozing off into unrelated fantasies, damn it!

I hadn't gotten two feet, though, when the sound of clanking metal made everyone freeze. Then, before I could register what was happening, two huge chains shot out like razor-blades from either side and ripped through the air toward Kakashi-sensei. Taking out the strongest first, some part of me thought evenly. I didn't have time to face the attacker before Kakashi was ripped to shreds.

And I hated myself for it, but in that moment, the only thing I could think was One man down, four to go.

The men wore masks concealing half their faces and strange, bulky armor. They charged out from both directions at my teammates. We were frozen in shock for no less than a second before everyone whipped into action.

Sasuke was the first to act, and of course he knew exactly what he was doing. It was picture perfect, really. He jumped into the air and did some triple-impossible gymnastics move and dropped kicked the ugly one in the head. Sakura jumped to Tazuna's defense without missing a beat. Then my vision zeroed in on Naruto, who seemed to be glued to the spot. Everything happened very fast and all I could register was Sasuke jumping and kicking and fighting and Naruto doing nothing. I started to run to him when the next thing I saw froze me in my tracks.

The second attacker broke away from Sasuke's wrath and flew at Sakura, steel claws armed to kill. Sasuke saw too, but my legs were already buzzing and he simply wasn't fast enough. Suddenly there was nothing around me – just that man and Sakura holding her stance firmly. In the sunlight, her hair was only the slightest bit lighter-

I was standing in front of her, digging my nails into the man's face so hard it drew blood. For a split second we stared at each other and his outstretched claw hung frozen in the air at my cheek. I'd never been so explicitly angry in my life.

"Fuck. Off."