Honor

Chapter Three:

A Heart as a Ball and Chain

Miss Yuki looked away from Kokoro and too the door and went to open the door. Kokoro wonder why she was so compelled to be there, she still felt like crying. She noted her knees were weakening and shaking a little. Miss Yuki opened the door to reveal a man in a cloak who was wet. He was in a cloak and was obviously cold. "Yes? Do you need something?" she asked kindly. She noticed that his eyes did not look at her but past her, into the room but they did not search. They rested upon Kokoro. Miss Yuki came to a quick realization and asked, "Would you like to come inside?"

"Yes, thank you." echoed the response in the expected unsure Japanese. The tall figure walked in the threshold and removed the hood from the cloak. Kokoro burst into tears as she saw his face and she called out what was becoming increasingly strange to almost everyone.

"Matthew!" Kokoro said falling into his arms. He only smiled down at her as she ran down the stairs and slid her arms around him and under the wet cloak. "I missed you… I was scared that I would never find you." Kokoro fell into sleep with a smile on her tear stained face.

"How did you find her?" Keiko asked suddenly. "She thought she had found you earlier, but it turned out to not be you. She was crushed and has been crying alone in the dark since we came home, that was several hours ago, well before dusk." He turned to look over at her, with no small amount of guilt.

"Really…?" he said, turning to look down at Kokoro, "I heard her yell and ran in that direction earlier, but I could not find her, I have been looking all over the place since this afternoon. I am sorry she has been crying. I wish I had gotten here sooner…" his Japanese slow and unsure.

Miss Yuki stepped toward him, "The two of you are welcome to stay here, and you will have to earn your keep as she does." She said with a motion toward the sleeping girl. "But I guess I could put you in a spare room while you stay. I am sure it will make it easier for the two of you. Especially her." Matthew nodded in response. "So let us put her to bed." Matthew nodded and followed the woman back up the stairs from which Kokoro descended. Matthew had picked her up and carried her up the stairs. They walked to Kokoro's room and Miss Yuki slid the door open and pointed to her bed. Matthew laid her down and tucked her in, and she stirred awake.

"Matthew… are you not sleeping with me, tonight?" she asked weakly, glancing over at Miss Yuki, Matthew's eyes never left Kokoro.

"Maybe not tonight, Kokoro, you too can be together tomorrow." Miss Yuki gently. Kokoro looked back at Matthew.

"Then, Matthew, will be next to me and stay awake with me?"

"Kokoro… I will be here in the morning. You have had a hard day, you should rest so you will feel better tomorrow." Matthew replied. Kokoro knew he was right, but she obviously did not like it.

"Then at least will you give me a kiss goodnight?" Matthew smiled and leaned down as she closed her eyes. When he kissed her, she wrapped her arms around his neck fairly tightly. When she decided to break the kiss, she whispered in his ear. "Matthew, I missed you so much. I am so happy that you are finally back by my side. Please do not go away again."

"I will do my best."

"Promise me."

"I promise I will do everything I can to stay by your side." She smiled and kissed him gently before releasing him, falling back into sleep. Matthew stood up and turned to Miss Yuki, who was enthralled at the couple's romantic interactions from the future. The woman also sported a blush. "Where might I be sleeping?" he asked innocently. And she led him out of the room. Once they were gone Kokoro opened one eye to make sure they were gone. She listened for their footsteps to fade into quiet.

She slowly sat up, and drew her knees to her chest and whispered to herself, "Matthew, I wish I could have slept in your arms. Two kisses are nowhere near enough." She sat like that for a few minutes, and sighed. She clasped her hands together and closed her eyes, "Oh God, please hear my prayer. I have him back, I miss my mother too, but he will ease the burden. Help me here, help Matthew as well, and watch over my mother. Thank you for all I have been given. Please forgive my sins, and help me to be closer to you especially when it is hard to even know what is right. Amen." She sat still and silent after her whispered prayer was finished. Eventually she laid back down and found sleep came quickly.

She still had not had a single dream since she came here, and this night was no different. But she was a little restless and a little cold throughout the night.

The next morning she was nudged awake gently and greeted by a familiar voice, albeit is a whispered breath than a voice. "Kokoro, dear, it is time to wake up. Get up for me, okay?" She rolled over groggily to see that Matthew had come to wake her up. He smiled at her and she responded with a soft peck on the lips. "I have a surprise for you today."

That woke her up a little. "What is it?" she whispered as she sat up and put her arms around him. He was warm to her so she laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes again. He noticed this and put his arms around her and just held her for a minute.

"Five more minutes?" She nodded slowly.

"Yeah." She whispered. The two nearly fell asleep and sat there for more than five minutes, actually closer to fifteen minutes. Of which Kokoro broke it, "What is it?" she said raising her hear to meet his gaze.

"You and I are to spend the entire day together. Miss Yuki told me last night that since we had been apart so long we should get some time to just be together." Kokoro smiled.

"I would like that Matthew. I have missed you… a lot."

"I missed you too." She squeezed him tightly, and he grunted slightly, like he always did. She smiled at this.

"So what are we doing today?" Matthew only shrugged. "I… I do not want to stay here all day. I want to go and be outside if it is nice and sunny outside. Or if it is not too wet from the rain yesterday."

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me Kokoro. All I want is to be with you." She smiled, and looked at her "roommate's" bed, which was empty. She looked back at Matthew and pulled him down so that they lay down together. "What's all this?" She smiled and kissed him passionately, as if to make up for the time she lost from him. She pulled him back up and kissed him again. She wanted to spend some time kissing and being close, a while in fact.

Between kisses the whispered, "I missed you so much." she paused to kiss him lightly, "I need you more than I thought I would." before kissing him again. They had been like this for about ten minutes before she began to cry while they kissed. He stopped.

"Kokoro…what is the matter? Are you okay?"

She nodded, "I am happy, these are tears of joy. The sad tears come later." Afterward she started to kiss him again. He placed his hand off of her back onto her side. It was obvious he thought it was awkward but it made her smile, she kissed him a little harder to comfort him, she did not feel right if he was not as comfortable as she was, ever and with just about anything they did together. It worked like it always did, and she put her hand on his cheek and her fingers behind his ear. They stayed like this for a long time before they both pulled away, neither full of breath, both breathing heavily. She was still crying softly, she had never stopped. "See, I am happy. But I need to cry if you will let me."

"Why would I stop you? Let it all out if you need to, Kokoro." She only smiled and put her head on his chest and sat quietly for a few minutes and stopped crying. She was still and starred off at the wall. She kept her arms around his waist and he held her around her shoulders.

"Matthew… I was scared that I would never see you again. I have missed you so badly." She started to cry again, but neither looked at the other. He did not look down and she did not look up. "All I remember was being in your arms and I was going to say something important and I passed out and woke up in this town. In this building's attic, I was found in a field all alone. I was afraid that I would never see you again. I am afraid I will never see my mother again. I am afraid I will never remember what I was going to say. All I have wanted to do is be in your arms since I woke up, I missed you so bad that I would cry myself to sleep this past month. The only thing that kept me sane was the possibility of finding you or mother. They looked for you first, a month ago. And you found me, by my voice no less… I could not be weak. I had to be strong because there was no one else to hold me up, just me. I did not like that at all, I am a girl…sometimes I want to feel weak because I want to be protected, to have someone be there and it was not anyone. Now I can be vulnerable, because you are here to protect me, and be near me. I am at ease now. I am not alone anymore. I am not scared anymore, either. I just want to be in your arms now."

"I am here now, and I am not going anywhere again if I can help it." She cuddled up next to him and sat there for a long time.