They didn't bother dropping by Emily's apartment to pick up a change of clothes; both JJ and Emily were so emotionally exhausted that they elected to head straight for their ultimate destination. Anxiety does that to a person. They stumbled into JJ's apartment just after eleven at night. Without speaking, Emily curled up on JJ's couch while JJ poured two glasses of water. When both were settled on the couch, a few silent moments passed. JJ wanted to console Emily, wanted to remedy any frayed nerves and mend any feelings of brokenheartedness, but where to begin? How was she even to know which part of the dinner party was troubling Emily most? JJ was so used to Emily hiding her feelings, so used to having to decipher codes in order to understand even fragments of the other woman's emotional state, that it caught her far off guard when Emily's soft voice, thick with the tears JJ hadn't realized were shed, broke the silence.

"She hates me. Jennifer, I can't… she hates me."

"Em…" JJ began, but she hadn't the foggiest idea of where to go from there. As much as she wanted to reassure Emily, she didn't have a scrap of proof confirming that love existed between Emily and her mother. She had her suspicions- something about the way Ambassador Prentiss looked at Emily, more with compassion than disappointment- but how was she to convince Emily of that? And Emily would not appreciate being lied to, especially not out of pity. So she bit her tongue, maintained her silence, and simply reached a hand towards Emily's resting form. The dark-haired woman's head was resting on the arm of the sofa opposite JJ, which left JJ to place her hand on Emily's leg.

"Why do you do this, Jayj?"

JJ could not respond immediately; she didn't know what Emily meant. Before she had the chance to ask, Emily continued. "Why do you put up with this- with me? It's not worth the effort. You're a smart woman, Jayj, you should know a lost cause when you see it."

That last statement hit JJ like a freight train. She could not bear to even hear the words 'lost cause' applied to Emily- 'lost cause' meant giving up. Emily could not give up. She couldn't. She couldn't! She pressed her lips into a thin line and waited until she had steadied her breath to speak.

"Emily, after Rosaline died, I fell apart. I was eleven, I was a child, but I just sort of… shut down. My parents had me in grief counseling, and the therapist always asked what I thought should happen next. I was always saying that this wasn't how it was supposed to be, that things should have been different… I think he just wanted me to imagine a future beyond Ros. But all I ever could say was that I thought I should die next. I wasn't going to kill myself, but I just… I saw myself as a lost cause. I didn't eat, I hardly spoke. I wanted everybody to just let me die slowly."

JJ's voice cracked several times throughout the last sentences; when at last a tear fell to stain her dress an even darker blue, she took three grounding breaths. "I got better, slowly. I started living again. I was happy, Em, I learned to be really happy. I never stopped thinking about her, not ever, but I learned to survive without her. But, Em… there are still sometimes days when it's impossible to accept that she's gone. There are still sometimes days when I don't think I can get through another day without her. There are still sometimes days when I look back to eleven year old me, and think that she was a lost cause then, and... that I still am."

Emily rose from her laying position, wiped the tears from her eyes, and took hold of JJ's shoulders. "You can't say that, Jayj, please. You are so strong, you are so brave… this world needs you. You are the farthest thing from a lost cause."

"Em, how do you not understand? That's all I've wanted to say to you. Emily Prentiss- hey, look at me. Look right at me, okay?- you are the bravest person. Not because you compartmentalize, or… I mean, what makes you strong isn't the times you manage to convince everyone that nothing is wrong. What makes you strong is the fact that you're sitting here right now. And you're talking to me."

Emily waited to respond; she hadn't the words. Occasionally she opened her mouth, prepared to speak, only to realize that whatever coherent thought she had formed was long gone already. It had been, what, just over two weeks since she'd first begun talking to JJ about her personal life? And already she had revealed so many things she would never have even dreamed of discussing with another person. What did that say? That JJ was simply that comforting? That she was losing her ability to hold herself together in the presence of other people?

JJ had been chewing on her lip for so long it had become painful. "Emily," she began, and then froze. She knew Emily had a lot going on, and as much as she wanted to be able to make it all go away, she wasn't sure she had that power. Three deep breaths, and then, "Emily? Where- where are you… with all of this? I mean, I love- ah, I want to be here for you. But is it… is it too much? Would you ever, um, consider talking to a professional?"

Silence. JJ counted the seconds: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Then Emily rose from her seat, blank-faced, and wandered around the room. She ran her finger along the top of the television, examined the dust, wiped it off on her blouse. She toyed with the snow globes on the top of JJ's bookshelf, examined the titles of the books, and disappeared down the hall. JJ waited a moment, not wanting to seem overprotective (though she surely felt overprotective), and then followed Emily into her bedroom- which, to her brief confusion, was empty. It was a small bedroom, though, with minimal hiding places, and after JJ checked the closet, she lay on the floor and peered under the bed, only to find two bloodshot, brown doe eyes staring back at her.

"Em?"

"Go away," came Emily's childish voice. "I'm mad at you."

JJ understood that she'd said something Emily didn't want to hear, and she'd be lying if she wasn't worried that Emily was genuinely angry. Still, she ventured to gently ask, "If you're so angry, why are you in my bedroom and not on your way home?"

Emily sniffled. "I hate profilers."

Ignoring her go-to defense that she was not, in fact, a profiler, JJ only responded, "Well?"

In response to JJ's prompting, Emily's hand reached out from under the bed and grabbed the hand of the blonde crouching down. "Because I hate what you say, but I still love you."

For a moment, pure sentimental happiness flashed across JJ's face, before being replaced by a teasing grin. "You loooove me?"

Emily grabbed a small stuffed bear which, at some point in time, had fallen off of JJ's bed and hidden under the bed for God knows how long. Holding the bear close, she answered,"Yeah, I love you, you big dumb eight year old."

/

A/N: I know Emily is a total badass and could probably be the world's most terrifying human if she wanted to be, but I'm utterly convinced that she could never be so mad at JJ as to be mean. Thus, I believe she would have to resort to being a petulant child (which I think happens to be quite adorable). Thank you all for reading! I'm still figuring out what comes next- I have a few things I know need to happen, but there's a lot still to figure out. So, if there's anything you really think should happen, feel free to let me know! Also, side note- I never really planned out when this story would take place. Clearly Will has never happened, and I don't think Doyle has either, so either this is taking place in an earlier season or neither Will nor Doyle ever existed to begin with. Take your pick/choose whichever you prefer because at this point I think it's too late to make a solid clarification :~)