Chapter 10: Myosotine

The side of my head is pressed up against the cold window I sit by on the morning train to school. In one hand I hold the straps of my bag, and in the other I rotate the orange prescription bottle of my new poison with my thumb. "Myosotine…" I shake the bottle and thirty purple 50 mg pills crash into each other. Satisfied with the fullness of the bottle, I carefully place it in my bag along with the doctor's note that I need to turn into the school for their records. "Take one pill as soon as you feel an episode coming on. Whether you think you can handle it or not, I want you to take one pill anyways. This is the second incident. A third and you may be readmitted," Yuzuki-sama's words echo in my mind. I let out a sigh as my stop comes into view. "Here we go…" I take my time getting off the train and walking to school. My mind goes over multiple scenarios of what can happen once I set foot in the classroom. Everyone knows I had an episode, and there is no doubt about it. To top that off, I have been absent from school for an entire week.

I drop the note off with the secretary and let her photocopy the print on the bottle. Once she gives it back, I head straight for my locker then the classroom. "I was right… Everyone is looking at me like I am a ticking time bomb." I keep my head held high and ignore the beady eyes on me. To assist drowning out the whispers I bought a pair of headphones big enough to be noticed and padded enough that I cannot hear outside noises. I slip those bad boys on once I sit down at my desk, but they do not get to stay on for long. After ten minutes, Inutaisho-sensei strides into the classroom with his usual briefcase in tow. He eyes me curiously as he undoes the top button of his suit-jacket while greeting the class. I take off my headphones, neatly fold them, and carefully place them back into my bag.

"As many of you are aware, the Cultural Festival is coming up next month," he addresses the entire class. "That also marks the time that many of you may choose to bring your participation in clubs to a close so that you may focus on university entrance exams. As such, the Cultural Festival is always a huge event, and this year many of Shikon Academy Alumni's will return to assist their former kohai."

I force myself to be uninterested in this chatter of clubs and kohai, so I quietly finger through the stacks of homework I completed while I was on vacation. After all assignments are accounted for, I twist in my seat to stretch my back. My eyes connect with the melancholy hues of Haru-kun, and in that instant I feel a tinge of guilt run through me. I shove that feeling into a closet at the back of my mind and quickly avert my gaze. Throughout the day I force myself to not look around me with worry that I may dig up that feeling from before. When Inutaisho-sensei dismisses us I stand like normal and make my way to the door. My tracks are halted at the feel of someone's hand on my arm. I turn around and come face to face with Haru-kun.

"Uematsu-senpai, I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have any spare time to check up on the Music club?" he asks me with utter hope in his eyes.

I stare at him with widened eyes and mouth ajar. "Haru-kun, let go of my arm."

He timidly retracts his hand while looking down. "I'm sorry, senpai. We just… We could use some help, and-"

"Stop," I shake my head in a panic. "I'm sorry, Haru-kun. But I'm not the one you want help from."

I turn and nearly run out the door. I duck into the girl's bathroom and catch myself from falling on the granite counter. Sucking in deep breaths of air, I fish out my pills and shake one onto my palm after nearly ripping the cap off. "Please work. Please work. Please work!" I pray in my head as I toss it into my mouth and drown it down with water from the sink. "Nothing." I drink down another pill. My hands grip the edge of the counter as I lean forward waiting for them to kick in. "10… 9… 8... 7…" I feel the panic that crawled up my spine subside. "6… 5… 4… 3…" A numbing feeling spreads through my chest and grows weaker as it strays from my heart. "2… 1… 0…" My knees feel weak. "0… 0… 0…" My legs fold as my fingers slacken. "0…" The cold floor cools the side of my face and any other bit of exposed skin.

My head is foggy, and I stand in a bright room with mirrors covering one entire wall. I am not alone. On either side of me stand Yumi and Takako. They look different. Very different from how I remember them. The three of us are wearing outfits similar in style but varying in colors and coverage. In my reflection I can see my body moving, and the girls are mirroring my movements. We are dancing, and holding invisible microphones up to our mouths. Our performance comes to an end, and we strike a Charlie's Angel-esque pose. We are frozen, but our reflections move. They walk closer to us and step out from the mirror. The mirror ripples as they pass through, and they seemingly transform. I recognize them better now as they now wear denim shorts, crop tops, leather jackets, and stilettos. In the back of my mind I am confused and furious as I look at the imposter in front of me wearing my clothes while I don this frou-frou outfit. However, I am frozen and cannot do anything about it. The reflections and imposter go on with their own performance as rock music plays in the background. They finish, and we counter with a 60's routine that is all fun and bubbly. My imposter smiles at me once we finish and steps closer. She places a palm on my cheek and—to my surprise—her lips graze mine.

I felt surprise in my dream, but no emotions come when I wake up on the floor of the girl's bathroom. Nothing forms in my mind. I see no images from the past. Reality or fabricated; no memories forcefully play. Curiously, I try to remember something. I dream up a memory of a drug run; the last that I orchestrated with my gang. It plays, but I feel nothing. I try another memory. This time I recall Haru-kun asking me to stop by music club. It happened just moments ago, so the feeling should be fresh. I recall everything; from each trembling word to the hopeful look in his eyes. Still, I feel nothing. I can hardly recall the stab in my chest I felt, or the chilled feeling of panic run up my spine.

With the pace that could possibly rival a turtle, I gather my things and leave the bathroom. The halls are quiet, and the sun looks to be setting. I calculate that I must have been in that bathroom for a couple hours. I feel no panic as I walk through the school while lightly tracing the fingers of my right hand along the wall. The school is completely empty save for the cleaning staff that pays no mind to me as I pass them. The sound of the doors opening is the loudest thing I hear, and I find that I get a little startled. I walk to the steps and pause at the top looking up at the sky. I vaguely make out the pattern of Libra above me in spite of the city lights overpowering the stars' glow and splatter of clouds.

"Uematsu."

I slightly turn so that I can see the one who calls me. Still rather numb and dazed from my magic pills, I can feel a tinge of surprise and excitement when I see Inutaisho-sensei. My eyes drink him in. Thankfully, the pills keep my cheeks from flushing and jaw from dropping. He looks like quite the gentleman in his white suit and blue tie. He holds his jacket and briefcase in one hand as he regards me intently.

"What are you still doing at school?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Sensei. And don't give me that 'I work here' answer," I monotonously bite back.

"Hn, let me rephrase that. What have you been doing here?" he asks after narrowing his eyes.

"You could say I took a nap," I reply turning my gaze back to Libra. "Now your turn."

"You could say I work here," he says standing next to me. To my surprise the urge to scowl at him is tiny. "I saw your exchange with Haru, and after he left I went looking for you. I didn't see you leave campus. Three hours, and I gave up assuming you went home like the first time. But here you stand just as I make my way out."

"They say that when you give up looking for something it comes to you out of nowhere," I whisper mostly to myself.

"How are you getting home, Uematsu?"

"The usual way."

"It's dark out now and cold."

"You. Are. Not. Giving me a ride," I say as sternly as my drug induced body allows me to.

"Yes. I. Am. Let's go, Uematsu," he challenges me to defy him.

I feel only a small flicker of fear, but it is small enough to stomp out. I ignore his demand and head down the steps, which face a different direction from faculty parking. I make it to the front gates when thunder sounds and rain begins to fall. "Story of my life." Instantly, a warm jacket covering my shoulders replaces the feeling of cold rain dropping on my body. I look up and see him smirking down at me with amusement dancing in his gold eyes. He holds the stem of an umbrella in his right hand, and he nods in the direction of his car. I glare up at him screaming in me head, "You jerk! You made it rain on purpose! I don't know how you did it, and it sounds ridiculous… But you made it rain!" Against my better judgment, I follow his lead to the car standing close enough to him to be under the umbrella and far enough away to feel comfortable. He opens the passenger door for me, I get in, and I hand him back his jacket. He gets in, and we drive away from the school to our side of town.

I do not say a word to him and borderline curl up in my seat. I am thankful to the pills for still numbing all emotions. However, the effect is fading as now thoughts are finding their way into my head. I muse over how sickening it is that he would show me kindness after he stood me up. It makes me want to throw up the dead butterflies in my stomach. Luckily, I feel nothing with all of those thoughts because, even though I hate him right now, I would feel bad for ruining the pretty leather upholstery in his car.

He pulls up in front of my building, and I utter my appreciation without looking at him as I get out of his car.

"Happy belated birthday, Uematsu," I hear him say, and I freeze halfway out of his car.

"Thank you," my head turns slightly, but not enough to face him.

I gently close the door and walk up the steps to the entrance. Safely inside, I watch him drive away through the windows as I make my way to the stairwell.

I lie on my bed with my bottle of magic pills in hand and stare at its contents. "What was that dream about?" I wonder to myself. I recognized the girls in street attire, and something tells me that I know the girls in frou-frou as well. Although I try to tell myself it was just a dream, my mind aches that there is a much deeper meaning. I place the bottle on my nightstand and get up from my bed to go about my usual routine.

The week flies by and halfway through October the students grow more serious about preparing for the Cultural Festival. Haru-kun has not approached me about music club since the day I returned to school. Just as Inutaisho-sensei dismisses us the door slides open before we leave our desks. In walks Shimizu-sensei, so down my throat swims another magic pill.

"Sesshomaru-kun, is it alright if we use your classroom for music club today? It's just for a few moments until they finish maintenance in the auditorium," I hear her say as everyone leaves the classroom. In my seat I am so focused on willing the pill to work faster that I do not notice the two figures that pressed their way through the exiting crowd.

"Oh, my!" I ghostly familiar voice exclaims just as I feel the pill kicking in. "Sakura, is that you?!"

"It is her!" another ghostly familiar voice declares.

I slowly raise my head to see Yumi and Takako making their way towards me. My eyes blink rapidly as they resemble more the girls in frou-frou in my dream than the ladies I created in my memories.

"How are you? Has it been longer than a year now?" Yumi happily questions as she reaches my desk.

Takako is next to me and she has me in an iron grip hug.

"You two clean up well," I calmly say and they look each other up and down before turning confused eyes on me.

"What are you talking about?" Takako asks loosening her grip around my neck.

"Last I heard, the two of you were sent to jail."

Now confused eyes are on me; including those of the two teachers and Haru-kun who still sits in his seat. Before I can open my mouth further, the door slides open and in rushes Yuzuki-sama who seems out of breath.

"You two," she eyes Yumi and Takako then turns her gaze to Shimizu-sensei. "And you… Sakura-chan, I need you to wait outside."

"But why? Looks like we're having a reunion in this room."

"Sakura-chan, wait outside. Doctor's orders," she presses and I get up. "Did you take your medicine?"

I nod my response and step out the door before sliding it close. Curious with what is about to happen in there, I place my head against a small crack between the door and doorframe. I quiet my breathing and focus on listening in.

"Yuzuki-sama, what is the meaning of this?" I vaguely hear Inutaisho-sensei question.

"It goes against my better judgment, but all of you must know because you have either very specific roles in Sakura-chan's life or you come into contact with her the most," she begins. "How can I make this short? Well, to the point. She has created a fantasy life in her mind to cover up the death of her parents. That is how she was able to pull herself together. Every now and then something will trigger her mind to remember her reality. That's why she has those episodes that three of you have witnessed. I heard that Yumi and Takako were coming here to assist in the Cultural Festival, so I made it down here as fast as I could. I knew she would be stunned to see the girls from her past not match the ones in her made up memories. Heh, in her memories the three of you were an all girl gang plus a boy named Kyo."

"That explains her odd comment," I hear Yumi say. "So how can we help her?"

"I have tried everything from hypnotherapy to coaching her through facing reality in our sessions. None have worked so far, and she always ends up convulsing until finally passing out. My only option left, before readmitting her, is having her take doses of a sedative. Myosotine. It blocks the feeling of all emotions and relaxes the muscles especially the heart. It also halts the brains ability to recall past events for the time being."

"That's what she was taking when Shimizu-sensei walked in," Haru-kun's voice reveals.

"It appears to work, but I still need your assistance."

"What can we do?" asks Shimizu-sensei.

"Hold her hand as she faces her reality. When her parents passed there was no one for her to lean on. In her mind, she was alone. She handled the loss by herself, and when you handle so many demons alone the only option you have is to run. She ran and hid in a world of her own imagination, but still her demons can find her. She needs the right team to face them."

There is a silent pause before anyone speaks.

"Takako, are you ready to bury a castle?" I finally hear Yumi challenge Takako.

"Got my shovel."

I smile inwardly at their reference to a foreign song we use to always listen to. A sob threatens to escape my lips as the pain of my reality breaks through. I stifle the sob just as Myosotine stifles the pain.

"So, Sakura-chan's new prescription: participation in the Cultural Festival with the Music Club," Yuzuki-sensei claps her hands. "Did you hear that clearly Sakura-chan?" "Caught eavesdropping."

I slide the door open as I down another magic pill. "Are they Doctor's orders?"

"Of course."

"Then what choice do I have?"

Hello all!

Thank you for sticking around for another chapter of Ensnared! Myosotine is a fake drug that I made up. Want to play a game? I will PM a spoiler alert to anyone who finds out where I got the name from. Hint: it's pretty damn ironic.

;) Be well!