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10
The Crying Game

Jadeite's grip on me loosened as he swung round. I don't mean that he was actually touching me, as I lay in a huddle on the stairs; but the bond between us that was draining my energy had faded, and I could just about keep one eye open.

Usagi – no, Sailor Moon! – stood framed in the doorway below. Her costume was like mine, except that her miniskirt and collar were blue and the ribbon across her front was large and red; she wore a golden tiara with a brilliant garnet glowing in the centre, and a red choker with a golden crescent moon emblem on the front, and long red boots.

Jadeite looked down at her in bemusement. "Who on earth are you?" he said.

"I am Sailor Moon!" said Usagi. "The beautiful sailor warrior of… of…."

"Love and justice," hissed another voice. I smiled; Luna had slipped in and was crouching beside her.

"Of love and justice!" Usagi declaimed. "In the name of the moon, I'll punish you for your evil deeds! Step away from that girl!"

I flattened myself against the floor with my face turned upwards, and lay very still. Once Usagi saw that it was me, it would not do at all for her to realise that I was still partly awake. I didn't need to watch, anyway. It was enough to know that she was there, that she had dropped everything and come to save me, just like a true friend. It was such a thrill, to see her standing there in the identity I had created for her, and to know that I was giving her the pleasure of helping her friend without that friend knowing it – or so she thought. I would never, never take that away from her by letting it slip that I had known all along.

Jadeite laughed, and clicked his fingers. "Morgan!" he said. "Deal with this intruder!"

A door closed above and behind me, and I groaned. Of course. Morgan had been the one unknown factor; I should have guessed from the beginning that she was Jadeite's tool. But if it was she I had run from, if she had taken on the guise of my mother, then what had Jadeite done with her? "If you've hurt her…," I said under my breath, "I'll never forgive you." But no. Really, I knew it was myself I could never forgive. It would be my fault if he had harmed her, my fault for giving him too much freedom. But… surely he wouldn't dare take such drastic action of his own accord? Then I looked up at the cocky way he was smiling, and I knew that orders meant little to him, that he was someone who would find his own way of doing things, always doing just enough so that he had a ready answer when questioned, a way of twisting his decisions to make it sound like he was completely loyal.

Morgan leapt over the banister and landed on the floor below with a loud thump. I tilted my head to keep her in sight; Usagi wouldn't be looking towards me now. She had returned to what I guessed must be her true form: a hideous monster, humanoid in shape but with a gruesomely deformed face, mauve skin stretched tightly around a protruding skull with wide and empty eye sockets. She shot an arm out towards Usagi, and it was long and needle-thin, the hand replaced by a large claw with digits that flexed like the limbs of a predatory spider.

"Sailor Moon?" she said – and her real voice was thin and scratchy, like the cawing of a crow. "I never heard of such a person."

Usagi looked nervously from one of them to the other. I thought I understood. She wanted to help me, but Jadeite wasn't actually hurting me at that moment, and so there was no need for her to charge wildly at him. As for Morgan, she didn't yet know what to expect from her; perhaps that was why she was waiting for her to make the first move.

And she did. She rushed headlong towards Usagi, both arms flailing, her vicious claws scratching and scraping through the air. Usagi gulped and threw herself back against the wall to dodge the first blow, and then dived to the side as a claw checked its motion and came hurtling down towards her.

Jadeite just stood, leaning forward over the banister with a satisfied smirk on his face.

Usagi rolled over on the floor and scrambled to lift herself up, and Morgan swivelled round and loomed above her, readying her claws to strike downward. I could see deep scratch marks in the doorframe behind where Usagi had been standing.

Then there came a shriek of pain. Luna had leapt onto Morgan from behind and scratched her deeply. She writhed and twisted, throwing Luna off, and then picked her up and hurled her against the side wall. Usagi screamed.

But the respite had given her time to lift herself up and dodge behind one of the marble posts at the foot of the stairs. She clung to it as she fought to get her breath back, while Morgan flexed her claws and slowly stepped forward.

Jadeite still smiled as he motionlessly watched the scene, and somehow that made me feel a sort of bond between us. If I'd had the energy left, I might even have whispered "Thank you". It was magnificent; everything I'd imagined and more. Usagi was getting a real chance to be a hero. No matter what doubts were going through her mind right now, when she looked back on this afterwards she would smile secretly to herself as she remembered how she had saved me, and I would glance at her and pretend I didn't know what she was thinking about.

Morgan was getting closer. Usagi had really played this perfectly: she had let her enemy think she had the upper hand, and just when she was most confident, just when she drew her arm back to strike, Usagi would flick her tiara out like a frisbee, and the power I had imbued it with would make the monster fade and disintegrate. I could hear Morgan's screams of anguish as she realised that she was defeated; I could hear her final gasp of pain and a low, throbbing fizz as she dissolved away to nothing. I heard Jadeite cry out in shock and disappointment, and then Usagi's footfall as she turned to face him, her face etched with grim determination. She was going to make him pay for hurting me.

And then a sob echoed across the silence, and I realised that I had been hearing all this only in my imagination. Usagi had fallen as she slipped out of the way of Morgan's attack, and a claw had scraped her knee, drawing blood. She was clutching it to try to ease the pain as tears fell steadily down her cheeks. She looked up at Morgan, who was still advancing towards her, and she flattened herself back against the wall with a look of terror in her eyes, desperately trying to postpone the moment of facing the attack, any thought of fighting back abandoned.

I wanted to jump up and yell at her not to be such a baby. I might even have done it, ignoring the need for secrecy, but fortunately, I was just too drained. I couldn't believe it. Oh, I knew she wasn't exactly your typical fearless superhero; but I also knew, or thought I knew, that she had a tremendous amount of courage underneath her soft exterior if only she could work out how to unlock it. I couldn't believe she was just sitting back and letting Morgan walk all over her. Didn't even knowing that I was in danger make any difference?

Thetis, it seemed, had the same idea. She swooped down towards me and lifted me up, effortlessly, with one hand; a dagger gleamed in her other. Usagi screamed again.

Thetis smiled and seemed to stand frozen, and for one moment I glanced down and saw that Morgan was actually shrinking back. At first, I wasn't sure why; this wasn't anything I had planned. Then, as she screwed up her face and put her claws over her ears, I realised it was Usagi's screaming that was having that effect on her.

Usagi looked up in surprise, and then all at once, her face hardened and her crying stopped. She leapt to her feet and threw her tiara at the monster. From where I was, I couldn't see exactly what happened as it hit her, but I knew from Morgan's cry of pain that it was doing its work. She dropped to her knees, already too weak to do more than splutter as she melted away; and the tiara was in Usagi's hand again as she strode forward with a new resolve. Thetis dropped me, leapt up to the landing above, hauled herself over the railing, and was gone.

I was not much hurt by the fall; all I felt was an overwhelming sense of relief that Usagi had found the strength to fight against the monster after all. She came rushing towards me, heedless of everything except the need to know that I was all right –

Jadeite glowered at her, and poised Thetis's dagger in his hand, ready to spring on Usagi as she passed in front of him –

There was a blast of cold air from a window that should not have been open. A heavy thud came from somewhere high up, out of sight. And then a long black cane struck Jadeite across the throat, and he fell backwards. Mamoru had arrived! To give him the air of intrigue and mystery I wanted, I had modelled his costume on the jewel thief I had seen on television on Monday. He had the same black suit and top hat, and a black cape with red lining fluttered behind him. His face was in shadow, and a mask covered his eyes; even someone who knew him would not have recognised him then.

Usagi, perhaps seeing the look of terror that was written on my face, looked behind her. Jadeite still clutched the dagger, and Mamoru was pushing him backwards, and she must have suddenly realised that he had just saved her life. She gasped in surprise, and then blurted out, "Who are you?"

"I am Tuxedo Mask," said Mamoru. "You must never let your guard down, Sailor Moon."

"All right!" she said eagerly, gazing up at him with a beaming smile and lights sparkling in her eyes.

Mamoru smiled back at her. "I will remember this night," he said. And he withdrew his cane, turned around and swept away.

Jadeite, seeing that he had lost the element of surprise, gave Usagi an ugly glare, and then clicked his fingers. "I'll be back," he said, and vanished.

And then it was just the two of us, one final awkward moment that had to be got through. Usagi turned towards me to see that I was all right, and I saw the shadow of a pain in her eyes. I thought I understood. She wanted to rush towards me and hug me, and could not; for while she was in her magical identity, she had to pretend to be a stranger. And I, too, almost wished I could have said something. The pleasure of helping someone without them knowing it is a strange, almost masochistic pleasure; it is a constant self-denial. I looked at her; and I had to learn to look at her as a stranger, or as a mere character. The writer's emotions should not play any part in the story; they would just get in the way.

The moment passed. I opened my eyes and staggered clumsily to my feet; and Usagi, seeing that I was unhurt, winked at me and saluted with her fingers above and below one eye, and then raced away, pausing only to pick up Luna, who by that time had also got back on her feet and was trying to recover a little of her dignity.

Finally alone, I called for Thetis, and asked her if she knew where Mother was. She said that Jadeite had drained her energy and left her in the basement. I hurried down, and used the Pen to restore her; she was a little hazy when she recovered, and I said that she must have tripped on the stairs and knocked herself out. In spite of my protestations, she insisted on going back and reopening the store for the afternoon part of the sale; and for the rest of the day we were all so busy, especially since we longer had Morgan to help us, that the adventure of Sailor Moon was driven quite out of my mind.

"I have failed you, my Queen," said Jadeite.

It was the weekend at last. After a tiring day of putting away the unsold stock from the sale and getting the store ready for normal business again, I had taken a cold drink up to my room and taken the opportunity to check up on my minion. I stared down at him from Queen Beryl's immense height, trying to show no emotion.

"I expect better than this."

"Pardon me, Your Majesty! I will not fail you again." He bowed low. He was outwardly calm, but I caught the hint of a fire blazing behind his eyes.

"You'd better make sure of it," I said coldly.

"Just give me another chance, tell me how I can serve you…."

"For now, just remain in concealment and keep an eye on the human world," I said. "We must not make a second attempt so soon, in case the humans realise something is going on."

"I understand," Jadeite said slowly. "But… you will give me a chance to show that you were not wrong to put your trust in me?"

"I will let you know as soon as I have a task for you."

"Very well," said Jadeite. He stood up and looked straight at me for a moment, and I sensed something in his expression – but what? Resentment? Or just determination to prove himself? Either way, I knew at once that I would have to make sure Thetis kept a careful eye on him. I glanced towards her, and saw that she was feeling the same thing.

After Jadeite had gone, I sank into my seat and sighed. "You know, I'm beginning to realise this isn't all going to be quite so easy," I said.

"I wondered when you would begin to feel that," said Thetis.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped. "You're not going to start being negative again, are you? Everything went beautifully!"

"Except that now Jadeite feels he has something to prove, and he's loose in the city with his energy-draining powers."

"I've told him not to use those yet…."

Thetis merely blinked. "And how confident are you that he will obey?"

I sighed. "Just tell me what you're trying to suggest."

"I will keep an eye on him, for now. But I must warn you, I will not be answerable if this scheme of yours goes wrong…."

"Yes, thank you, you've made that quite clear," I said. It wasn't fair of me to get so angry with her, but I did feel upset. That should have been a moment of triumph, and it felt like she was trying to take it away from me.

"Oh, just go," I said. "I'll summon you again if I need you."

"Very well, Mistress," she said with a bow; and she stepped through the mirror and I was alone again.