We make our way out of the machinery room again, me walking in the back with my mother.
"I'm not stupid", she mumbles to me. "I know you want nothing to do with me- though I still don't quite understand why-"
I interrupt her with a snort.
"But", she continues, "I will extend my invitation again. We could use your help here, and I know you are like-minded about the faction system-"
"Evelyn. I chose Dauntless."
"Choices can be made again", she pushes.
"What makes you think I'm interested in spending time anywhere near you?" I say, my voice loud and my steps faltering with anger.
"Because I'm your mother." I wasn't prepared for her to sound so honest, so vulnerable. "Because you're my son."
"You really don't get it. You don't have the vaguest conception of what you've done to me." I take a deep breath to not let the emotions swirling inside of me take control. "I don't want to join up with your little band of factionless. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible."
"My little band of factionless is twice the size of Dauntless", she argues. "you would do well to take it seriously. Its actions may determine the future of this city."
With that, she storms out of the room, and I suddenly feel week. With her gone, all the anger and the storm of painful memories calmed too.
"How long have you known?" Tris asks as I lean back against the cool wall.
"About a year. She sent a coded message to me in Dauntless, telling me to meet her at the train yard." I close my eyes, trying to block out any disturbing emotions. "I did, because I was curious, and there she was. Alive. It wasn't a happy reunion, as you can probably guess."
"Why did she leave Abnegation?"
"She had an affair." I shake my head at the thought of our messed up "family", if you can even call it that. "And no wonder, since my father… Well, let's just say Marcus wasn't any nicer to her than he was to me."
She hesitates for a moment before her next question, knowing that the subject is painful for me, but I endure them because she has the right to know.
"Is… that why you're angry with her?" she says finally. "Because she was unfaithful to him?"
"No." I say firmly, opening my eyes. Just looking into her bright, strong ones makes me feel slightly better. "No, that's not why I'm angry."
"Then why?" she asks, coming closer.
"She had to leave my father, I get that", I explain. "But did she think of taking me with her?"
"Oh. She left you with him." Her eyes turn thoughtful.
"Yeah. She did."
What would my life had been like if she hadn't, if she'd brought me with her? Would I be living like this too, scrambling for food as a factionless?
Tris suddenly laces her fingers together with mine, and we stay silent.
"It seems to me that the factionless are better friends than enemies", I say after a while, looking down at our entwined hands.
"Maybe", she says. "But what would the cost of that friendship be?"
"I don't know", I reply honestly. "But we may not have any other option."
Dinner that night consisted of heated up cans filled with different kinds of food like soup, eggs and peas. I sit a couple next to Tris, eating without thinking too closely about what the food taste like, letting my thoughts roam free for a while as I watch the flames of the campfire dance in the darkness. Tris draws my attention, and I finally look away from fire as she passes me a can of beans, which I pass to the next person without even trying it.
"Are many of you from Erudite?" Tris asks, and I realize she's been having a conversation with Theresa and Edward who is suddenly sitting next to her.
"Most are from Dauntless, actually," Theresa replies with a shake of her head. "Then Erudite, then Candor, then a handful of Amity. No one fails Abnegation initiation, though, so we have very few of those, except for a bunch who survived the simulation attack and came to us for refuge."
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised about Dauntless", Tris says.
"Well, yeah. You've got one of the worst initiations, and there's that whole old-age thing."
"Old-age thing?" She glances over at me, voice confused and eyes curious.
"Once the Dauntless reach a certain level of physical deterioration, they are asked to leave", I explain. "In one way or another."
"What's the other way?" she asks.
"Let's just say that for some, death is preferable to factionlessness."
"Those people are idiots", Edward snorts. "I'd rather be factionless than Dauntless."
Maybe I shouldn't take it personally, but I do. I'm not sure what's going to happen to our faction after this, but Dauntless is still my faction.
"How fortune that you ended up where you did, then." I glare at him.
"Fortunate? Yeah. I'm so fortune, with my one eye and all", says Edward sarcastically.
"I seem to recall hearing rumors that you provoked that attack", I say.
"What are you talking about? He was winning, that's all," Tris protests, "and Peter was jealous, so he just…" Her voice falters as she looks over at Edward who's smirking.
"There was an inciting incident", Edward admits. "In which Peter did not come out the victor. But it certainly didn't warrant a butter knife to the eye."
"No arguments here", I agree. "If it makes you feel any better, he got shot in the arm from a foot away during the simulation attack."
His face lightens up- only slightly, but still. "Who did that? You?"
I shake my head. "Tris did."
"Well done", says Edward.
Tris only nods, staring into the fire, her expression a mix between sadness and thoughtfulness.
I force myself to look away from her eyes, a reflection of the fire sparkling in them.
"Do you know much about how things are right now?" I ask, turning toward Edward. "Did all the Dauntless side with Erudite? Has Candor done anything?"
"Dauntless is slip in half", Edward replies. "Half at Erudite headquarters, half at Candor headquarters. What's left of Abnegation is with us. Nothing much has happened yet. Except for whatever happened to you, I guess."
I nod. At least our entire faction wasn't stupid enough to side with the Erudite.
I don't eat much that night, but when Tris is finished eating I find some blankets and a space for us to sleep in. I untie my shoes to take them off, but when I look up again Tris is in front of me, wrapping her arms around me. Her soft fingers slide over my back, tracing my tattoo in the darkness. Her touch is warm and soothing, and I close my eyes.
"I wish we were alone", I say, breathless from having her so close.
"I almost always wish that", she replies in a low voice.
Tris falls asleep before me, and I'm just about to follow when someone taps my shoulder. I look up, startled, to find Evelyn leaning over me.
"I need to talk to you", she whispers, eyes flickering toward Tris. "Alone."