This Is My Life
Chap 11
A/n: Why am I so confused, he's just a guy right?? Okay, it seems that he is a guy I fancy...Why should that confuse me?? Ahhh!!
Xx
I sit in the bed gazing at him, am I really here?
"Logan..." I begin I have to tell him about Laila.
He puts a finger to my mouth, "Sh...we'll talk later." He sits on the bed beside me and holds me close.
For a brief moment I guess I forgot that I had been stabbed, because the pain of even the smallest movement burns me. I stifle a scream, and my hand moves to my stomach as if holding it would help. My other hand goes to my neck and traces the pin prick scars there, almost healed.
"How long have I been out?" I whisper, through Logan's finger as he stares at me, with eyes that I will never forget.
"A week or so." Logan bows his head and drops his finger, taking my hand away from my stomach.
"What's the day Logan?" I need to know, I need to know how old Laila is.
"Sunday." Logan answers, slightly startled.
"How many Fridays have passed?" I ask, moving a little too suddenly, causing me to wince in pain.
"Two." He takes my other hand, "This is the third."
"She's three weeks old. I missed two weeks of her life." I mumble, not loud enough for him. "Have you met Laila?" I ask a little louder, curious.
"Briefly." Logan nods, looking towards the blonde-haired baby.
"Logan..." I begin again, but I can't get the words out my mouth.
"Is she mine or Zeke's?" Logan asks, not letting go of my hands, but not restraining me from taking them away.
"She's yours Logan, I'm so so sorry." I look away, tears of shame flood my cheeks, "I would have told you under different circumstances."
"I understand." He kisses my head, "I understand."
I still feel the need to explain, "I went before I found out. I went when I saw that Lola told the world I was with you. Not because I don't love you, because I do, with all my heart, but because he would come for me. I would have come back sooner, but if this had happened while I was still pregnant, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself."
"I understand." Logan says again, pulling my head to his chest and holding me there. "I love you Dana."
I pull him down so that his lips press mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him deeply, hoping that this is a good enough answer for him.
I let him go after a while and it's clear that he gets my message, he grins. I see Mama past him, she's showing Maddy something out of the window, but I can see her smiling. She's happy for me.
Xx
It seems that this is another life, not a couple of months after my near death experience. I actually get on well with Logan's baby boy, Kory. He's cute, brown-haired with dimples. It's hard work when he's over, but I enjoy it because he and Laila can grow up together.
Maddy can sort of speak now. She can say a couple of words, like Mama, Dada, and bad. She calls Zeke Bad Dada, usually it's the first sign she's had a nightmare as she starts screaming, "Mama! Mama! No Bad Dada!" It makes me cry and so Logan usually has to calm me before I can calm her. It doesn't make sense how she can remember Zeke, how she remembers the pain she went through, but she does, and it hurts me inside that she is still hurting.
Laila is beautiful; she almost has a full head of hair now, soft blonde curls. Her eyes are caramel, like mine and Maddy's and she is Logan's princess. He adores her. She and him are usually inseparable, but he has to work and so we sometimes go along. Some days it's not possible, such as the days when I have Kory too. It's impossible to take three kids to the film studio. They scream and interrupt filming.
Lola moved out as soon as I came back. She moved in with some Japanese guy and has Kory Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. We have him the other days. It's like we're a family, a dysfunctional family, but a family nonetheless. And I love them all, except Lola. I will never like her, let alone love. It's not that I still blame her for me going to Zeke; it's that I don't want her near me. I guess I don't want her to see that I hurt inside from the choices I've made in life and I'm jealous that her life has worked out; she got everything she wanted, except for Logan.
Xx
And that's the end. Happy ending right??