Once again, sorry for taking my time getting this chap out experienced some MAJOR writer's block. Review?

JPOV

Esme turned to face me, looking paler than usual. Alice was still in my arms having her vision.

"Esme, whose coming?"

"They're coming."

"WELL THANKS FOR THAT! REALLY HELPFUL!" we all shot a stern look at Emmett.

"Esme, who are they?" Esme hesitated before answering.

"Well I don't know much, but they know that we're vampires and think that we killed Bella…"

"Which we kinda did." muttered Alice, glaring accusingly at Emmett.

"…so they're coming to stop us."

…

(Awkward silence)

"Can they actually do that?"

"I don't know. She sounded confident on the phone."

"There couldn't be that many creatures that would be confident in taking on a coven of vampires. That narrows it down to werewolves, dragons, bigfoot, loch ness monsters, snapping turtles…"

Carlisle walked up the stairs still muttering to himself.

"Well, if you discover a secret underground horde of snapping turtles, let us know."

"What do we do now?"

"Sit and wait for one of Carlisles eureka moments."

There were a few minutes of silence before, "EUREKA!!!"

"He actually says eureka?"

Carlisle raced down the stairs with an armful of heavy, old, dusty, incredibly boring looking books.

"Esme? Are you sure that's all they said?" Carlisle started handing out the books.

"Yes, all she said was that they have been watching us for a while because they knew what we are just in case we blew it and killed someone. They think we killed Bella so they're coming to stop us."

"Excellent."

He handed me a book titled 'The Complete Encyclopaedia of Treacherous Turtles.'

"I fail to see what is so excellent about a horde of dangerous beings that wish to kill us."

"Wait…"

We all rushed over to Alice, still having her vision on the floor.

"Alice? What is it?"

She came out of vision mode.

"It was all… foggy. Like something was trying to block my vision. But I definitely recognised the leader. I think I know her…"

"Yes, I did recognize her voice on the phone, but I can't put my finger on who it is…"

"HEY!"

We all remembered that we weren't alone.

"Do they want to kill us too?"

Jacob had changed back into a human. We all politely diverted our eyes, but he didn't seem to care.

"Jake,"

Another wolf changed, but he was wearing pants.

"We bought these extra-stretchy shorts for a reason." I then realised that all the wolves were wearing black shorts.

"I am not like you civilized, modest folk! No! I embrace my natural form!"

He put his hands on his hips and puffed out is chest.

"Our ancestors would be ashamed of you!"

He strutted over and planted himself on the couch. I saw Esme cringe at Jakes bare ass touching the new, white sofa.

'I don't think they're after you guys, they didn't mention anything about werewolves.'

'Alrighty then. We're off.'

'But Jake? Weren't we here to kill Carlisle?' Carlisle raised one eyebrow. I wish I could do that, it's so cool. 'Why would you want to do that?'

'Our leader was killed, so we were going to kill you'

'That makes no sense! Wouldn't you want to kill the one that killed Sam?' there was silence for a moment.

'Yeah, actually. I don't know why we listened to Jake. In fact, I don't know why we EVER listen to Jake.'

'THEN IT'S SETTLED!'

'That what, we shouldn't listen to you anymore?'

'No,' Jake sighed as if we were all as thick as him. 'We must destroy the one that destroyed Sam!'

All of the wolves instantly glared at the whimpering lump behind me that was Emmett.

'WOLVES! TO THE GARAGE!'

'WHAT?!?!' Paul screamed at him, 'WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!'

'Paul, I know that it seems wrong, but we must have our revenge if the ancestors are to be happy.'

'So let's take revenge, but the Guardian is an INANIMATE OBJECT! The car didn't kill Sam, THAT VAMPIRE DID!' all of the wolves roared in agreement. Jake got up and put an arm around Paul's shoulders. I could see Esme struggling to not rush to the couch to disinfect it.

'Paul, I know how you could think that, but I clearly saw Sam get smeared on the Guardian, not a vampire. As the leader, what I say goes. If Embry wins the election, it will fall to him to make the hard decisions. But for now, I'm the Alpha and I say TO THE GARAGE!' he charged out of the room, leaving us and the rest of his pack staring in shock at Jacob's stupidity.

'THAT WAS AN ORDER!' he yelled from downstairs. The rest of the pack was forced to march out of the room. As he walked past, Seth handed Alice a bloody toothbrush.

'Thanks.' Alice mumbled feeling embarrassed. I sent her a little happiness and she smiled at me. There was a horrendous hullabaloo coming from the garage as the pack unwillingly attempted to dent the Guardian.

'Ok, back to work. We need to figure out what this new threat is.'

'Well it could be that.' Emmett was pointing out the window at group of around twenty figures emerging from the forest. They looked like your average humans. We all ran downstairs and reached the front door 3.65 seconds later. I recognized some of them as living in Forks. Some of them even went to school. One of them, obviously the leader, stepped forward and we all gasped. It was one of Bella's old friends, Angela.

'Where is Bella?' she looked terrifying somehow, even to a coven of vampires. I've never seen Angela look like this. It didn't help that there were intense waves of hostility coming off of her. We all kind of muttered incoherently at her question.

'WHERE IS BELLA?'

'BELLA!' Someone yelled from our garage, 'I FORGOT ABOUT BELLA!' the naked form of Jacob bounded from the garage and into the forest.

'Long story.' Carlisle took a step forward and all the humans were instantly alert.

'WHERE IS BELLA?!' Angela demanded for the third time, 'and we'll know if you're lying.'

'Well,' Carlisle began, 'due to a series of unfortunate events, Bella ended up in a car driving off a cliff into the ocean. We managed to get the car out and everyone was fine. We… ran into Jacob, who is the naked moron you just met, and he and Bella fell in love. She now spends all her time in La Push.' It was all true except for he forgot to mention the tiny, insignificant detail that Bella was dead. Jake ran out of the trees,

'Hya everyone!' he waved cheesily at the group of humans.

'You are Jacob?' one of them asked.

'Yup!' he grinned. It looked like he hadn't brushed his teeth for around a decade.

'Is what the doctor is saying true? Did Bella go over a cliff and meet you where you two fell in love?'

'Every word! You can even ask her!'

'NO Jake, I don't think that's the best idea, you see she is unwell at the moment and… she should be resting… its VERY contagious…'

'FOUND YOU BELLA! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT NEXT TIME!' he leaped from the trees with the mouldy decayed corpse he had imprinted on. Half the humans screamed the other half puked. I have to admit, I was pretty close to puking myself.

'And here's the love of my life!' Jake started snogging his semi-decomposed girlfriend. The wave of nausea that was not only mine, but everyone else was beyond overwhelming. I tried to dilute it but it just kept coming.

'Tell them Bella! Tell them how we fell in love!'

Bella's corpse was silent.

'Aw, you don't feel like talking? Well that's ok.' A bit of Bella's face was stuck between Jacobs teeth and it was very distracting. Angela death-glared Jake with a death-glare that was so deadly that he actually dropped dead.

'Kidding!' he jumped up a few seconds later. Everyone groaned.

Angela advanced on us. There was something truly frightening about her now. The sudden wave of hostility was like it was a windscreen and I was the little unsuspecting bug. Usually emotions tend to dissipate after the first burst, but the anger and hostility kept growing until it was physically painful. The fury filled me until there just wasn't enough room in me to feel anything else. I felt like I was about to burst. I didn't realize I was falling until I felt a pair of strong, slender arms catch me. How was it possible that I had fallen? Vampires don't just fall over. I was so embarrassed and mad that I had made myself look like an idiot. Next thing I knew I had flung my girlfriend through the air and halfway through a tree. I felt so horrible that I had hurt her and began to run over to help her, but every emotion was soon drowned by the continuous torrent of pure hatred. I hated Alice for making me look like a wimp. I was a bloody vampire who needed his unnaturally short girlfriend to catch him whenever he felt faint. I continued to run to where Alice was trying to dislodge herself from the tree, but this time everything was tinted red. There wasn't any room this time for anything other than rage. I only barely heard what Angela said,

'It will amaze you to know that Bella was right, I am a witch.'

Ok, next chap is the one you've been waiting for! ROSALIES TRIP TO HELL!

Plz comment with any and all suggestions/ideas.