A/N: So Sorry for the late update! it has been a crazy week full of exams and regular schoolwork, but here's the next bit for you to enjoy. Also, just fyi, i'm going to be posting more chapters quicker because right now i'm working on a Halloween chapter! Tis my favorite holiday and so i must write a drama filled chapter for it. But for now, enjoy.

"So how did you get out of Asgard?" Loki stared incredulously as Darcy continued to peruse the clothing racks. Of all the times to ask that question, she chose to ask it while they were out in public, shopping no less.

"And why did you choose to ask that question at this particular moment?" he sighed, knowing it was useless getting angry at the strange mortal.

"Well, the last time I saw you, you were sporting a very cool looking muzzle and some nifty shackles before you and Thor zapped off to home," she explained, giving him a sly look and a smirk when she mentioned the bonds he had been in. The god scowled, not liking to remember that particular moment before he frowned thoughtfully, watching as Darcy pulled out some flowery looking dress, held it up to herself, and put it back.

"I do not remember seeing you present when Thor and I departed," he finally spoke up.

"Oh, I was watching on a hacked traffic cam feed. I was a political science major in school, but I love messing around with technology. Tony keeps trying to recruit me ever since I hacked JARVIS but it's my hobby only. I really enjoy what I do now. Besides, I get to travel instead of being in front of a computer all day." She grinned at him, plucking a dress off the rack and heading for the fitting rooms, leaving him standing there, confused. Was it like all Midgardians to be as confusing as her or was it just a talent of the women? He still had not found an answer when she reemerged grinning and swishing the loose skirt around her legs like a child might.

"Good? Bad? What do you think?" she asked, turning from the mirror to look at him over her shoulder. Loki eyed the clinging bodice and loose, knee length skirt of the emerald dress before looking back at her expectant face.

"I knew very little of Asgardian fashion. What makes you think I would be able to judge Midgardian clothing?" he finally responded. The brunette simply rolled her eyes at his response, going back into the little room to change her clothes again.

"So you never answered my question," she said once she came back out, heading for the counter. Loki followed, rolling his eyes at her persistence. He was hoping she would get lost in her own thoughts and forget the question as she had a tendency to do.

"If you must know, I created a double of myself and left him to face whatever punishment Odin bestowed upon me. If you are going to inquire how I got here without using the Bifrost, it's rather simple. There are other paths between realms," he explained.

"Cool, but aren't your clones a little less responsive than, you know, an actual person?" she questioned as the two of them stepped out into the sunny sidewalk of the moderately busy street.

"I can project my consciousness into my clone and respond as required. Fortunately being angry with my family and having my mouth sewn shut is due cause to not be very responsive," he told her, smirking as her face scrunched up in a displeased look.

"Sewed your mouth shut? Ouch, that must sting like a bitch," she muttered.

"It can be quite painful, yes."

"You know, there's this myth in Norse folklore about you having your mouth sewn shut. There's also one about you giving birth to a horse though so I don't know how reliable those things are," the girl said casually, not realizing Loki had stopped walking with her and was staring after her with a shocked and horrified look. She paused a few feet away, shooting him a questioning look. The god shook himself from his stupor and they continued their trip back to the villa.

"There is a myth about me giving birth to a horse?" he asked after a moment, sounding hesitant.

"Yup. Actually, there are a lot of myths about you transforming into a woman and giving birth to different creatures. I wonder if any of them are true." Now he knew she was teasing him, but he was still stuck on the fact that some silly mortals who have been long dead now had thought he had given birth to a horse.

"If the stories are as ridiculous as that one, I can assure you Miss. Lewis that they are all false," he finally said.

"Right, well we'll just have to see. I hope the one about Thor dressing as a woman is true though. That would be priceless," she giggled. As soon as they got back to the house, Darcy pulled out her laptop and searched myths about the god sitting next to her. The more stories they went through, apparently the more ridiculous they got. Even after they had gone through all the ones involving Loki, they had moved on to others.

"There was something very wrong with humans when these tales were written," the god beside her sighed. Darcy just giggled, clearing her browser history out of habit and shutting down her computer.

"Yes, there was, but at least it made for some very entertaining stories. The look on your face was priceless. I don't know why you freaked out about being married though. I know it can be torture being stuck with the same person but really? I never thought I'd see a god blush," she laughed, sprawling across the couch, effectively half landing across his lap.

"It is not the fact that the Norse believed me to be married, it was who they thought I was married to. That woman is possibly the worst torture that could be bestowed upon any man. I don't understand how any god would be infatuated by that," he muttered.

"So she was a Barbie?"

"A what?"

"A Barbie. It's a particular type of doll most little girls want. Because it's this pretty blonde, blue eyed doll, I compare women who are all about looks to them. Just like the doll, I find that those types of women have no brains. Don't get me wrong, I know that women who focus on looks aren't all idiots, but the ones who are obsessed about it tend to have no decent conversational skills," Darcy explained.

"Then yes, I believe that little goddess is like this Barbie doll you speak of," he nodded.

"Go figure. Anyway, you want to play a drinking game?"

"Drinking game?"

"Yeah. I have this awesome movie for it too! It's called Zombieland and you take a drink any time a zombie gets killed." By this point the girl was grinning like a loon, already headed for where they kept the alcohol. Loki frowned as she grabbed two bottles of Vodka and two shot glasses but remained silent. He wasn't the girl's keeper, she could do as she wished. He watched as the brunette started the movie and poured their drinks, settling back into the couch next to him and grinning at the screen. Slowly, the film that was playing captured Loki's attention, as did the drink. Midgardian alcohol was far too weak to get the god drunk easily, but he was surprised that by the end of the movie he was feeling a pleasant buzz. He was surprised that the girl next to him was even awake.

"Looookiiii!" she slurred, looking up at him from her spot in his lap. He arched a questioning eyebrow, looking down at her.

"My legs feel all jello-like. Help me?" she requested, holding her arms out like a child reaching for their mother, blue eyes wide and pleading. The god sighed, wondering how he had been reduced from almost ruling this realm to carrying the drunken girl to her bed.

"Thank you." She giggled as he scooped her up, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"Yes, yes, just don't expect me to do this again," he grumbled, setting her on her bed. She didn't immediately release him from her hold and his gaze met hers with a curious look.

"Ya know, if you weren't all evil and stuff, I totally would've kissed you that first time you showed up in my apartment. You're probably the hottest person walking Midgard right now," she mumbled, letting go of his neck and falling back on her pillows. She was looking at him, her brow furrowed as if he were a particularly difficult kind of puzzle. Loki, for his part, hadn't moved a muscle since her confession, immediately realizing that the alcohol had loosened her tongue. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to stay and see what else she would say to stroke his ego or just disappear for a day and forget the whole ordeal happened. He tensed when she reached up, tangling her fingers in his hair.

"You should stay in here tonight. That couch is awful. Besides, I'm pretty sure my A/C is broken," she told him, trying to tug him down next to her. In his dazed state it was an easier task than it would normally be for her.

"Good boy," she giggled, patting him on top of his head before tossing an arm and a leg haphazardly over him in an attempt to make him stay.

"You are the strangest mortal I have ever come across, even while inebriated," he sighed, shifting into a more comfortable spot.

"But that's what you love about me," Darcy murmured, leaning up and pressing her lips to the corner of his jaw before dropping off into sleep.