Thanks to everybody who has been so understanding about my whole flu thing, and the fact that I'll be ending this soon. –sniffles-
Review?
Oh, and I hope what you like what I did with the neckerchief deal. It was the most popular choice!
Dear Arthur,
I cannot believe what I just read. In fact, I had to reread it eighteen times, and have the dragon read it to mean nine times! Did you really just say that I wouldn't have to muck out your stables anymore if I come back to Camelot?
Not good enough.
That may have sounded a bit harsh, but if I don't return to Camelot then I won't have to muck out your stables anyway, now will I?
But to answer your question, I'm very happy that you wrote that.
Look, Arthur, you have no idea how hard that decision was! I suspected the Dragon, but I had already made a promise! I swore on my mother's life. And I was hoping that the Dragon would be good, and not do anything bad! But of course he didn't, because nobody has a good moral anymore. Not even Morgana! Hence the reason she's evil.
Poor Sir Leon! I know how annoyed I got watching her smirk all the time, which is one of the reasons I left. That and your arrogant pratness.
Why does everyone start noticing her smirks now that I'm gone? Irony much? I bet it's a conspiracy: "Let's wait till Merlin leaves before we start noticing Morgana's smirks just to annoy him" "Yeah, sounds like a plan!" Clever.
Please, Arthur, who would be a fan girl to you? If anybody would be getting fan girls, it'd be me! After all, I am the one saving your ungrateful butt every day. And by the way, I'm too busy to have an extracurricular activity, because I'm too busy SAVING YOUR LIFE.
You want to talk about thick skulls? You, Arthur Pendragon, have the thickest skull that surrounds your donkey brain!
You're that desperate for the sword? Well, considering that I'll never be seeing you and your prat self again I guess I'll just have to stick it in a random stone. So if you ever see a sword in a stone why don't you try pulling it out? Who knows, it might just work out for you.
Are you seriously making fun of my legendary name? Look, it's not like I chose it or anything! I had about as much say in that name as I did with my destiny. Trust me, I'd prefer to have the destiny of a farmer than ever having to meet you!
I remember when we first met! That just strengthens the fact that you're a prat. Little did I know that one day I'd be the target in target practice! And you wonder why I left.
Do you want me to call you dollop head? Because I can, but I just thought you'd prefer me calling you Arthur.
That's the reason why you made us clean all those boots? You do realize that you could've went out and bought some more? You're the Prince of Camelot for goodness sakes! You could easily afford a room full of pickled eggs, so just go out and buy some!
As tempting as that list is, that's not the reason I was looking for. Try again, clot pole, and see what will happen.
You want to know why I wear the neckerchief all the time?
Well, once upon a time a very awesome warlock (and when I say awesome, I mean awesome. The epitome of awesomeness, actually) named Merlin was going to chop firewood on cold winter day for his wonderful mother. Walking happily in the forest without complaining (because Merlin never, ever complained until the day the world's biggest clot pole forced him to it) he saw a red piece of cloth laying randomly on a tree branch. Being cold, the young warlock wrapped it around his neck and may or may not have used magic to get the firewood.
Anyway, Merlin soon returned back to the heart of his home village, and everyone was impressed by his new look. Girls fancied him, and men began to copy his style. Of course, the fad went out of style a year later, but Merlin could never bear to part with the garment that had gained him so much popularity.
So there you have it: I wear my neckerchief not only because it holds good memories, but also compliments my gorgeous blue eyes!
Happy With My Blue Eyes That Are Better Than Yours,
Merlin, Not Needing To Add Anymore To His Name, Because Merlin Says It All.
PS: I'm very happy.
PSS: Okay…you're way too obsessed with your sausages. Have you talked to Gaius about this? It could be some kind of medical illness or something…
There you go! Well, Merlin was awfully mean, wasn't he? Will this letter be the last straw for Arthur? Will 'The Once and Future Prat/King' finally break down?