~.~
Eleven
~.~
"Oh my God," Edward whispered again. He turned to Bella with an expression of fear warring with bewilderment. He looked back up, but Jacob was gone. "Bella, did you -?"
"I saw." She could do nothing but wait to see how he would cope with it. Would he accept it, or decide his eyes had played tricks on him and deny it?
Edward swayed and sat down heavily on the log. He dropped his face into his hands, then raked a hand back through his hair. "Did he really just - ?"
"Yes."
He shook his head. "You're not surprised. You've seen this before?"
Bella wasn't sure how to answer that. She had seen Jacob's transformation in his thoughts he showed to her, but she wasn't sure if she should draw that distinction at the moment. She decided on saying simply, "Yes."
If anything, Edward seemed even more bewildered. "How? How is this possible? Is he a ... a demon?"
"No." Bella's voice was louder than she intended, but it got her point across. "He is a being of flesh and blood, just as you or I."
"But I don't understand this. I've never heard of anything like this other than ..." He let his voice trail off, knowing without being told she didn't want to hear that dangerous word again.
"Do you remember that I told you there were many things in this world outside of your experience?" That was his problem. He kept trying to define everything he was finding within the small number of definitions he had, and they just couldn't fit.
"I do, but this is ... Bella, this is magic."
"Not the kind of magic you think." Bella sat down and took his hand in her own, tracing her finger over the small nicks and scars left by his years of manual labor. "Edward, there are things, natural things created by the gods - by God, I mean - that can do things which humans cannot."
He nodded. "I know that. You're saying he's some sort of ... animal that can -"
"No, not an animal. A person. But a different kind of person. With abilities that were given to him by his Creator. There is no magic involved. Not in the sense you understand it. It's not evil to do as one was created to do." She cast about in her mind trying to think of a comparison he would understand, and then an idea came to her. "You can sing, can you not?"
His cheekbones pinkened a little. "I have been told my voice is pleasing. We sing only Psalms, though. Not ... worldly songs."
She smiled a little. "But you have an ability others do not. Is that wrong? Or, is it a gift God has given you that there is no sin in using?"
He thought for a moment. "I suppose it depends on how you use it."
She squeeze his hand and gazed into his eyes, hoping he could see her sincerity, hoping her heart could speak to his. "Exactly. Jacob has used his gift to try to protect his people and prevent war. Now, he is leading them away, and -"
"Leaving?" Edward frowned. "They're leaving the area?"
"They're not safe here."
Edward took a slow breath. "Perhaps it is for the best."
She closed her eyes for a moment. "Perhaps, but it's so sad to see them give up their homeland, to leave the sea behind. And I will miss my friend."
Edward said nothing to that, but she saw his jaw tighten. She nudged his chin up with her fingertips until he was looking into her eyes again. "He was my friend. And that is all. My desire is for my husband, and for him alone. Always for you, Edward. No one else." She cupped his cheeks in her hands and gazed deep into his eyes, so green their color shone bright even by the pale moon light. "Until the end of time. I love you, Edward. To the very depths of my being, I love you. There is a bond between our souls which cannot be broken, a fire which cannot be quenched. I am yours, and you are mine, until the world itself has ended."
Bella could tell he still did not understand what he had seen, nor the soul-deep truth of the words she spoke, but he believed in her. And that seemed to be enough for him. He kissed her, gentle at first, but with increasing wild urgency. His hands wove into her hair, holding her captive - a willing captive - to his passion.
She slipped her hands down and pulled his shirt from his waistband, her hands hungry for the feeling of his smooth skin. He let out a soft groan against her lips.
"This has to be a sin." He kissed her again and one hand left her hair to travel down her her leg. He pulled up her skirts and slid his rough palm along her thigh as she gasped at the sensation. "This has to be a sin. Anything that feels this good ... anything I want this much ... anything that turns my blood to fire in this way has to be ..."
She groaned against his mouth as his hand found her soft, wet heat.
"But if it is a sin, I don't care." With that, he picked her up and pulled her over his lap.
~.~
A few days later, Bella built a fire in the back yard and hanged the large kettle on its tripod over the flames. Mondays were usually laundry days for the women of Plimouth Colony, but Bella had to do hers this morning. Edward had worn his best shirt the night before and spilled a mug of beer down the front of it, and unless it was washed, he'd have nothing to wear to Meeting on Sunday.
He'd apologized profusely and offered to try to wash it himself in the creek, but Alice had looked at it critically and said they'd never be able to get the stain out that way. It would have to be boiled in strong lye soap with the rest of the whites.
Alice came out of the house with an arm full of chemises and petticoats as Bella poured water into the kettle from the well. "Did you bring out the soap?"
Bella snapped her fingers. "I knew I was forgetting something."
"I'll get it." Alice dumped the clothes into the kettle. As she disappeared back inside, Bella smiled at her retreating figure. Alice seemed much more cheerful this morning. She'd even hummed as she cooked breakfast for the family and her steps were light as she bustled around the kitchen.
Bella took the empty buckets back to the well and hooked one to the rope winch to lower down into its dark, cool depths. They'd have to hurry. Edward wanted to have dinner with his father tonight. He said at the meeting he'd been called to the night before, Governor Bradford had beckoned Carlisle over and asked if he'd have time to speak after Meeting on Sunday, and Edward was worried he was going to broach the subject of marrying Alice to one of Standish's men. Edward hoped he'd have an opportunity to speak to Carlisle first, hopefully before Carlisle agreed to anything regarding Alice's future.
"Bella, where did you put the soap?" Alice called through the open window.
"In the cabinet where it always is."
"There's none here. Could we be out?"
Bella sighed. It figured. "Fill the kettle for me. I'll go down to the markethouse and buy some."
"No, I'll go." Alice disappeared back inside.
Bella stared at the empty window for a long moment before she began to crank the brimming bucket back up. Alice emerged from the house, having taken off her apron, and she was carefully tying on her bonnet over her linen cap.
"Are you ... sure?" Bella asked. She didn't want the trip to spoil Alice's good mood. Bella ignored the stares, whispers, and smirks but she didn't want Alice to be wounded by them again. "Should I come with you?"
"No need. I shouldn't be but a few minutes. I took some coins from your bag."
Bella nodded and watched as Alice went through the gate and headed down the street, her head held high and a pleasant smile on her face. She looked as though she didn't have a care in the world.
"Al?" Emmet called from the baby tender. He looked over at Bella as if to ask where his sister could be going, but Bella just shrugged and Rose distracted him by poking Emmett with the wood horse Edward had carved for her.
Bella finished filling the kettle and stoked the fire, poking pieces of wood into the flames with the iron poker from as far back as she could manage. A shower of sparks sailed upward and Bella thought back to the terrible day when she had seen a limp woman with long blonde hair tied to a stake in the middle of the village near Cullen Hall. She was lost in her memories for a while until she heard Emmett squeal with laughter at a squirrel that had hopped across the yard, and realized with a start that Alice had never returned.
A cold chill swept through her and she ran over to grab up both babies, holding one on each hip, hurrying her way toward the market house. She stopped in her tracks when she spotted Alice, seated by the warehouse on a stump, talking in low tones to Lauren Mallory. Their heads were tilted toward one another and their faces nearly concealed by the brims of their bonnets. It was only once she got closer that Bella realized Lauren was sobbing as Alice rubbed her back and spoke to her in soft tones. Tendrils of blonde hair had escaped Lauren's cap and clung to her wet cheeks. She needed a handkerchief.
"Alice?" Bella said. She took her own handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to Lauren, who blew her nose with a loud honk.
Alice looked up and blinked. "Oh! I've lost track of time. I'm sorry Bella." She picked up the cloth-wrapped parcel of soap at her feet. "We'll talk again soon, Lauren."
"I hope so," Lauren said. She threw her arms around Alice. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
Alice patted her shoulders as she drew away and came over to take Rose from Bella to balance on her own hip. Lauren held out the handkerchief and Bella held up a hand. "Go on and keep that."
Lauren hurried away, wiping at her face.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. You must have been waiting for me." Alice tickled Rose's chin, but Rose was still shy and hid her face against Alice's shoulder.
Bella started toward home, watching as Alice smiled and waved to her neighbors, even if they turned away from her. "Whatever was that about? Why was Lauren crying?"
"It's not what you think. I was not chiding her."
"What were you doing?"
Alice smiled. "I was telling her that I wasn't angry with her, and I loved her as all Christians should love one another."
"You ... love her?"
Alice laughed. "Well, I admit I don't like her much sometimes, but yes, Bella, she's a child of God, and her cruelty stems from pain and fear, as all cruelty does. I was talking to her about those fears."
"Alice, what's all this about? I don't understand."
"It's about listening, Bella. Listening to God and to my fellow Christians. I'm not afraid any more, Bella. I see it all so clearly, and I wish you could see it too, but you have your own path to walk, and will see when it is time."
Bella could only stare as Alice headed back into the house, her steps jaunty and her smile bright.
~.~
That evening, Bella and Edward walked and in hand down the path toward Carlisle's house. He lifted his hat to wipe his forehead. It was a cool, crisp autumn day, so it wasn't the temperature which was making sweat bead on his temples.
"Edward, don't fret so. I am certain he will take your advice on the matter." Bella held out her other hand as a bird swooped low. The sparrow landed lightly on her finger. The bird tilted its head, hopping from finger to finger as it gazed at them, eyes bright with curiosity. Bella brought her hand closer to Edward and he crouched lower to study the little bird.
"I've never seen a live one so close," he said. The bird turned from him and pecked at the embroidery on Bella's sleeve to see if it was edible. Disappointed, it lost interest and fluttered away.
"Did you talk to it?" Edward asked. His bright green eyes met hers.
Bella smiled. "Why do you ask questions you don't really want the answers to?"
He grinned back at her. "I'm the curious sort. I'm certain it will lead to my downfall." He twined his arm through hers and they crossed the yard to Carlisle's little wood house.
Smoke curled from the chimney from above the thatched roof. The garden had already been harvested of its vegetables and lay covered under a bed of manure and straw, which Bella's whimsical imagination likened to the earth being put to bed for the winter, tucked away under its thick blanket. Over the last month or so, Esme had been busy with preserving their winter stores in barrels, crocks of preserves, and baskets, tucking them away in the attic. She had known hunger, and was even more determined than most to have a plentiful buffer against deprivation.
They were facing another winter, and the climate in this land was harsher than they had known in England, but this year the colony was prepared. They had provisions and warm, sturdy houses. If the sickness didn't return, their chances were good. All they could do now was pray.
Esme met them at the door. She wore her plum-colored dress and her face was alight with a bright smile. Bella hugged her and didn't need her powers to feel the aura of happiness radiating from her.
Carlisle was smiling too. He invited them in, and gave Bella a warm embrace before showing her to the table. Bella was surprised, but tried not to let it show.
Inside, the air was rich with the scent of baked bread and cooking stew. Several tallow rush lights offset the autumn gloom with their warm, yellow glow. Bella glanced around and took in all the homey touches Esme had added since their last visit. The bed was covered with a new quilt, pieced from bright fabrics, and a rag rug lay on the floor beside it. Baskets hung on the wall - practical, but woven with alternating colors of rushes to give them a decorative flair. New curtains covered the windows to keep out the drafts that came through the shutters. Bella recognized the fabric; it had once been Esme's gray linen work dress. The old patched quilt that had been used on the table was gone - likely recycled into the rag rug - and had been replaced with a russet wool blanket. When Esme had set the table, she put a small crock in the middle with bright red and orange leaves and curling rush stems as a centerpiece. Bella had lived in palaces and manor houses, but she didn't think she'd ever sat at a table which felt so inviting.
Carlisle's house wasn't completely finished. The plaster hadn't been installed in several areas, and the ceiling beams hadn't been whitewashed yet. There was no trim around the windows or carving on the mantle, but it had a sense of being completed none the less. It looked like a home now.
Carlisle had built a set of benches at the table since their last visit, smooth planed half-logs with splayed legs protruding below. He and Edward took one side of the table while Bella and Esme took the other. Carlisle bowed his head and said grace over the food, and Esme ladled portions of stew out onto the pewter plates, but Bella had already filled her plate with cornbread and declined the stew until she'd finished it. Esme gave a small confused blink, but complied with a smile, hanging the small kettle on its pivoting arm over the fire to keep it warm.
"How is Alice faring?" Esme asked Bella after Carlisle and Edward had discussed a few small farming matters. Bella could see the question had been burning in her, but she obeyed etiquette and waited until the men had finished speaking.
"She's better," Bella said, slathering another piece of cornbread with raspberry preserves. "Much better, actually."
Esme let out a small sigh of relief. "Praise be to God."
"Alice is one of the reasons I wanted to see you tonight, Father," Edward said. He gave Esme a glance of apology for monopolizing the conversation again, but he had to take the opening.
Carlisle paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth. "Oh?"
"Governor Bradford spoke to me after Squanto's funeral. He's going to approach you about offers for Alice's marriage."
Carlisle chewed and then wiped his mouth. "Glad I am to hear it. After Jasper declined to seek her hand, I had feared ... 'Tis no matter. Who has offered?"
Edward shook his head. "No one of worth. That is why -"
"What are their names?"
Edward recited them as though the words tasted bad in his mouth. He took a drink of his beer and set his wooden tankard down with a sharp clack. Esme's eyes darted to him, but returned quickly to her plate. Her muscles were tense as though it were a physical effort to hold back her words.
Carlisle rubbed his chin and took another bite of his stew before he spoke again. "You have an opinion to offer on the matter, son?"
"I do, Father. I know it is your decision, but I hope you'll consider my opinion that none of those men are worthy of consideration."
"We do not have a surfeit of suitors from which to choose," Carlisle pointed out. "As much as it pains me to say it, Alice's reputation has suffered a heavy blow, and she's not getting any younger."
"I would rather see her remain unwed than marry one of those men." Edward's voice was a little louder than necessary and Bella saw Esme's eyes widen as she waited for her husband's reaction.
"That's ridiculous," Carlisle replied. "Unmarried women lead apes into hell, as the saying goes. Every woman wants to be a wife and have children of her own." He turned to his own wife. "Is that not true?"
"Children are a woman's consolation," Esme replied, with a bit of reluctance.
Carlisle was satisfied to be proven right. "There, you have it. The girl should marry. And soon. 'Twill put an end to the unpleasant chatter about her."
Bella saw Edward grip the edge of the table, but he managed to keep his voice low and even. "Father, I am a man of property now. It's not fitting that my sister be married to a common soldier or laborer. Give me some time. I will find a suitable husband for her."
Carlisle sat back in his chair and tapped his fingers on the table. Esme refilled his plate from the kettle over the fire. Bella saw her bite her lip. Their eyes met, both hoping, both aching to add their own words, but knowing that it would probably do more harm than good to interject.
"I want to see this family prosper," Edward said. "And despite the gossip, I see Alice as an asset to us, not a detriment we need to dispose of at the first opportunity. A better offer will come."
Carlisle took a drink of his beer, and then nodded. "As you say, son. But if you've not found a better offer for her within a year, I'll accept one of Standish's men. As it is, I cannot manage much of a dowry for her ..."
"Bella and I will provide for her."
"Have you a sum in mind?"
Edward hesitated. He and Bella had discussed this. They wanted Alice to have a respectable dowry that would help establish her new home once she married, but they didn't want to make it such a large amount that a man would seek to wed her just for the money. "Twenty-five pounds," Edward said.
Carlisle's eyebrows raised. "A goodly sum." It set up high expectations for her match, because the husband was supposed to have personal property worth at least twice the bride's dowry.
"Let it not be widely known," Edward cautioned. "We don't want a scoundrel getting ideas about seizing her and forcing the issue."
"I'll say nothing. I'll leave it in your hands. But mind my words, Edward. I want this settled within a year."
"Aye, Father, as you say." Edward nodded with solemn deference, but Bella knew he was elated. He had hoped for a delay of a few months. Next summer would undoubtedly bring more colonists and more opportunities as the ships arrived.
Esme portioned out more food. "Bella, you haven't had any stew! Please, eat."
Bella smiled. "I could not possibly eat more. I found your cornbread and preserves so delicious that I over-filled myself already."
Esme gave a little frown of concern, but she refilled Bella's beer and sat back down. Bella was the guest, after all, and if she wanted to stuff herself with preserves and bread, she should be indulged, but to Esme's mind, Bella was missing out on the good part of the meal. Bella hoped Carlisle wouldn't be offended, thinking Bella was sparing them the meat out of concern for their economic situation, but that couldn't be helped.
Later, as the men discussed the idea of Carlisle purchasing a small plot of land on the other side of the marsh as part of Alice's dowry, Esme gestured Bella over to the corner near the bed. A large trunk sat there, with baskets and a couple of blankets stacked on top. Esme moved those aside and lifted the lid. "I have some things for Alice as a dower chest. I don't think her own mother ever helped her start one. It's not much, but I'd like her to have it to help set up her housekeeping."
Inside, a quilt lay on top, an intricate geometric design of tiny stitched blocks. Bella couldn't imagine how many hours had gone into making it, and she immediately knew it had to be something Esme had made in her youth. She wouldn't have had the time - nor the material - here.
"Every home must start with a quilt." Esme brushed her hand over it lightly, a small caress of affection, before laying it aside. In the space below, Bella saw a large set of pewter knives, spoons, and plates, a grinding mill for spices or sugar, and a few other small kitchen implements. At the side was a bundle in sackcloth that Esme untied to reveal folded lengths of fabric. Esme made a small sound when she revealed it, but cleared her throat and said, "The cloth is to make clothes for her babes. Red for a boy, and indigo blue for a girl. Lengths of linen for diapering."
"How did you come by all of this?" Bella asked. It was quite a collection, and quite valuable as well.
"It was my own dower chest," Esme said, and Bella saw her hands tighten on the bundle of cloth. "From my first marriage. My mother helped me put it together over the years. I was so excited when I learned I would marry and come here to the colonies - I thought every day would be an adventure. My mother and I tried to select things that would ..." She had to stop for a moment, but she continued after a moment. "... We tried to select what we thought I would need in the New World."
Esme cast her eye over the collection and gave a soft laugh. "We had no idea, obviously. On the ship, I would sometimes look into the trunk and imagine a babe of my own wearing a dress made of this cloth. I thank God now that I was never blessed with one, or I might have lost him along with my husband during the Starving Time, that first terrible winter when we were so ill and hungry."
Esme re-tied the bundle and slipped it back into the trunk. She laid the quilt over the contents and carefully tucked in the corners before lowering the lid. "I decided I would give them to Alice when she wed. Maybe ... maybe she would understand that I am not ..."
"She doesn't really hate you," Bella said. "She is angry at the loss of her mother, and she put that anger on you."
"I know." Esme closed the latches of the trunk. "I know her feelings all too well, because I lost my father as a young girl. He was a blacksmith. I was only nine when he was killed trying trying to shoe a horse. It kicked him - killed him instantly, from what we could determine. It was such a terrible shock, and my sense of loss was even greater when my mother remarried a few months later. But her new husband was a kind man. He wouldn't let me hate him, no matter how much I tried. I tried to hate the new baby brother my mother brought into our family the next year, but I couldn't do that, either. Too much happiness and love drowns out hate, the way a candle burns away the darkness. Enough candles, and a room can be brighter than the day. And our home was happy."
Esme took a handkerchief from her pocket and dashed the tears away from her eyes with a little laugh. "I want that for Alice, too. The girl who packed this trunk was so happy, Bella. So excited to embark on a great adventure in the new world. I want that same happiness and excitement for Alice when she approaches her marriage. Not resignation."
"Edward and I want the same." Bella sighed, thinking of the sparkle in Alice's eyes when she used to talk about her upcoming nuptials with Jasper. "If she cannot have the man she loved, I hope she can at least have a husband who is agreeable to her."
Esme's lips turned up in a smile, and a small flush brightened her cheeks. "Love can come if it is given time."
Bella grinned. "Esme! Have you -?"
"Shh!" Esme said, though there was no way they could be overheard by the men. "Carlisle has been ... he has been kind and I ... I think we will be happy together."
"You should seduce him," Bella whispered into her ear with a wicked little grin. "Lure him into your wanton arms."
"Hush!" Esme knocked her shoulder into Bella's. Her cheeks flamed and her eyes darted to the men, lingering on Carlisle for just a moment too long. "Do you ... Are you advising I should?"
"No," Bella said. "I wouldn't advise you do to anything unless you think the time is right. You know Carlisle far better than I. I just want you to be happy, Esme."
"I know you do." Esme hugged her. "I thank God for you, Bella, that you came to Plimouth and wed our Edward. You have been such a blessing to our family."
~.~
She might live in Plimouth Colony for the rest of her life, Bella thought as she made her way home Sunday evening, but she didn't think she'd ever get used to church services that lasted all day.
Edward had lingered after the service, waiting while Bradford spoke to his father. But Bradford had been surrounded by a group of men, all of them anxious to discuss the same problem they'd been occupied with the night Edward had spilled the beer on his shirt. The colonists had initially been delighted the Wôpanâak had gone, and there had even been prayers of thanksgiving, but then they realized that with them had gone their valuable trade in furs, food, and tools.
"Cod fishing will replace the value of the furs we can no longer send back to England," Bradford said. "We'll pickle them in barrels to send back to help pay our debts. Worry not, the Lord will provide."
"But a barrel of cod won't fetch nearly as much as a bundle of furs, and we could buy those cheaply from the savages. For fishing, we'll need new boats, and -"
"Go on home," Edward whispered to Bella. "It may be some time yet before he even speaks to Father."
Bella nodded. "Come home to me soon."
Approaching her own house, Bella heard voices. She paused in the doorway to listen. Female voices murmured in prayer. Bella stepped through the door and saw Alice kneeling with four girls, all of them with their hands joined. They turned to look at Bella, startled, and scrambled to their feet. They watched her to see how she'd react with solemn eyes.
"Is meeting over?" Alice asked. "Ah, I've lost track of time again."
"It is." Bella glanced around at the girls. Lauren Mallory was among them, but she wasn't crying this time. She was smiling, and her smile had that same peaceful softness that Alice's did.
"Next time, then, my friends." Alice embraced each of them and the girls filed out of the house.
"What is this?"
"We met tonight to pray together and discuss scripture." Alice blew out one of the rush lights. "I did not realize it was so late. I must remember I live in a house that has a clock!"
"Did they leave Meeting to come here instead?" Bella wasn't sure that was permitted and the bit of a blush that highlighted Alice's cheekbones told her it wasn't exactly something of which the community would approve, either.
"Aye, but we'll not do that again. Some other evening, perhaps."
Bella shook her head. "Alice, what are you doing?"
Alice's smile was so bright, it nearly lit up the room on its own. "God's work," she said, and blew out another candle.
~.~
.
- "Unmarried women lead apes in hell," was a common saying of the era. It appears in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, in a line said by Beatrice: Therefore I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bearherd, and lead his apes into hell, and in The Taming of the Shrew: I must dance barefoot on her wedding day, And for your love to her, lead apes in hell. It was the women's punishment for not fulfilling their duty to become wives on earth.
- Dowries were a custom the early colonists still retained from their time in England. Within a couple of generations, the practice began to fade, though dower chests - or "hope chests" (collections of household goods girls collected for their eventual marriage) remained a common practice up to the late Victorian era.
..
Thank you all for your extraordinary patience in waiting for this chapter. So much has happened since the last update! I finished another book and sent if off to the publisher, and I've got one releasing in August. Thank you again for your understanding. I have the best readers in the world.