HOLY CRAP THIS STORY

AHHH

UPDATING rIGHT nOw

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I woke up to the sound of snoring on either side of me. Shaking my mane, I stood up. I looked from side to side and saw Sapphire and Adam snoring in unison. I sniffed around, seeing straw haphazardly strewn all over the metal floor, with iron bars forming walls, and an identical metal ceiling to the floor. Adam and Sapphire had similar cages.

"Oh my goodness gracious, wake up guys!" I glared at them when they blatantly ignored me. Peering around outside through the bars, I searched for the others and found DJ in a large cage across from me, Wolf slumped against the bars in a larger cage to the left of the Charger, and to the right of DJ two empty cages, one tall, one small and square.

"Hey, Brownie, you're up." DJ called.

"As up as the sky." I replied. "What happened?"

"Something to do with… some jerks who think they can ruin children's Halloween, I think. Oh, and Adam's gurrlllfriend. Now I do believe we're stuck in a zoo."

"OH MY GOODNESS WILL I BE PETTED?!" I screamed excitedly, jumping up and down on all fours.

"I dunno. We'll have to find out if it's that kind of zoo." DJ grinned at me.

"OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! I LOVE BEING PETTED." I yelled.

"Even though you're a zombie- and a frickin' loud one at that?" A sleepy grumble emanated from my right. I whipped my head around to stare at the grumpy Hunter.
"SHUSH. I will be petted! Petted, petted, petted! Petted, petted, pett- "

"Quiet, beast!" A tall man with a untamed, tangled beard who had just walked up growled outside my cage. I growled fiercely in return and then, out of all the things, he jabbed me viciously with a thick metal pole. So I bit down hard on the offending object, and it snapped in half with a resounding crack instantly. A flash of anxiety flashed on his face as he withdrew the cracked pole, bent and broken and I sat on my haunches, pleased, with my awake friends laughing- or in Adam's case, managing a growling chuckle.

Suddenly, there was a bright, booming explosion of light, crackling and thundering. It literally blew our socks off. Well. Those of us who had socks. It also blew the cage bars into nonexistence, woke Wolf up, and the popcorn machine a few feet away, full of kernels, began spurting away fountains of popcorn.

We lowered our shielding claws, and in the middle of the blast zone stood none other than Sapphire, adorned in a squid hat that flashed iridescent colors, a long, villainous black cloak, a Venetian mask covered with rice noodles, and a tuxedo with combat boots. Of course, her precious Hunter sweater was tied around her leg, and bandages still wrapped around her arms and legs.

"THE QUEEN-DUCHESS OF RANDOM HAS DECIDED YE MORONS ARE BEING TOO SERIOUS." She announced loudly. "How could you scare this poor, poor man-" She stood over the shaking zookeeper, and picked him up, "-like this?!"

"Sorry, Miss Queen Duchess of Random, ma'am…" We mumbled, scuffing our feet/paws against the sidewalk.

"MMM-HMM. Now tell him you're sorry, and give him a hug!"

"Ooookay…" However, the zookeeper was too confuzzled to even do more than blink at our apologies, and when we went to hug him, it was almost like we were gonna kill him or something. That would be silly. It's not like we're zombies or anyth- Oh. Oh wait.

"Miss Sapphire-" When Sapphire let out a screech, DJ winced and hastily corrected himself, "Er, I mean, Miss Queen Duchess of Random, ma'am?"

"Yes, peasant?" At DJ's huff of indignance, she rolled her eyes (or we assumed she did) and put a hand on her hip, relaxing almost completely into that position. "Fiiiiine… Yes, Royal Toilet Paper Muncher?"

"Much better, ma'am. He won't return our attempts at hugs."

The zookeeper screeched, "That's because you're all filthy *dolphin noise* *foghorns* who are uneducated *squeaky farting* that spread this God*dam water noises* *cannonball fire* virus, and where da *whooshing* *whooshity* *whoosh* is my *whooshing* TACO?!" Sapphire promptly stuffed a taco in his face to stem anymore outrageous profanity.

"Well that simply will not do." She then whizzed around and threw the guy flying, sailing over the cages, over the fence, and into the woods beyond. "SMASHING."

"Hey Wolf, DJ, do you guys know where Kevin and Jock are?" I asked curiously.

"Nope!" DJ replied.

"Er, no. I don't think so." Wolf replied deeply, scratching the back of his small head. "I was asleep. Out like a log. Or… a Tank. I can't poetry, and I was never able to."

"I can teach you how." Kevin suddenly appeared from down the road, turning the corner, and predictably reading a book. A familiar, excited, hospital Jockey followed close behind.

"B-but right after we show you what w-we found!" Jock gibbered excitedly.

"I know to any 'survivor' as they call themselves, this might sound strange, but- why is Jock more Jockey-ish than usual?" Wolf asked.

"Because right after we escaped from our cages- I was able to slip right through the bars," He paused in his tale to cough, raising an arm in front of his mouth despite there being virtually no point trying not to spread germs, "and Jock had just climbed to a hole in the ceiling- Jock found some adrenaline, and concluded the proper thing to do was stab himself with it."

"I t-t-tripped onto it, I s-swear."

"Uh-huh, that's what all the gangsters say." Kevin retorted, rolling his one good eye. "I tripped onto the needle, which sat facing up."

"Well, he is partially telling the truth. He was tripping, and is now." Sapphire joked. "Do the pretty colors speak to you, Jock?" However, Jock was giggling at nothing in particular, not paying any attention to the others. The adrenaline, on a normal person, would just speed them up for a bit. But for a jockey, who was already twitchy and giggly…

"Oooh! That gave me an idea! Where are those adrenaline shots? We're going to have a bit of fun… racing!" I yelled excitedly.

Amanda and her fellow Witch friends were at a spa some three miles away, relaxing for once instead of crying. The scene was perfect for getting away from those annoying brats. She was only dating that stupid, lovestruck Hunter in hopes of keeping them away, after she told him lovingly (bleh) that she needed some relaxation.

Even if he was kinda… cute. No, stop that. She growled internally at herself. She lay back in the sauna to relax once more when a large explosion shook the building in the next room. She had barely any time to question it before BAM, a freaking TANK smashed through at the speed of light, carrying all those CHILDREN AND THEIR COMPATRIOTS through the sauna, breaking the relaxing mood, and smashing through the opposite wall. The massive beast had adrenaline shots stuck all over him, so many he looked like a porcupine.

Amanda felt the rage boiling up inside her, shaking off the shattered dreams of relaxation, and began chasing the romping morons, screaming irritably with claws outstretched.

"Adam," She screeched, "I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"

Adam, who had been chuckling, suddenly dropped his lopsided smile for a slowly sagging mouth. "What?" He whispered.

"Hmm." Sapphire peered at her distraught brother who was barely clutching onto Wolf's back. She thought about it, then back at the rapidly gaining Witch. She decided that while the hospital was fun, her brothers emotions (yechh) were more important. Besides, she could do other stupid things with ease and end up there anyway.

So she grabbed two more adrenaline shots and stabbed them into Wolf's back. The Tank roared, and sped up, taking a flying leap and smashing through the wall.

And into a pit. A deep one.

Stupid thing number two billion, seven hundred thousand, six hundred and one checked off the list, she thought, grinning wildly and whooping like mad as they plunged down, down, down…

ALL FINISHED. NOW FOR SLEEPIES