The morning had started out bitterly cold but now at midday it was 71 degrees with a warm breeze coming up from the south. The 212, now on their second day securing the perimeter, was stopped at a stream as the Staff Lieutenant Birral looked at their current location and the surrounding area using his omni-tool as his 1st Lieutenant lit a cigarette.

"How long do you think that we will be out here?" Private Aaron Potgieter asked Williams as they both bent down next to the stream to fill their canteens.

"Damned if I know," Williams answered as she dipped her canteen in the cold, clear water.

Splashing sounds were heard off to their left as fish swam upstream and a couple marines tried catching them with their bare hands. Private Preston Hudson with his trusty harmonica was softly playing Bury Me Not On The Lone Prairie as he watched a rabble of butterflies move off to the left of him. A group was huddled together squatting as dice was thrown while two female soldiers were discussing the best omni-tool manufacturers. Every soldier was taking advantage of the break with a few going off to relieve themselves as well.

Private Nirali Bhatia walked up next to Williams as she removed her helmet and looked up at the sky, "When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."

"That's beautiful," Williams said putting her canteen on her belt as Nirali looked down at her. "Is it part of you Hindi teachings?"

"Kabir," Bhatia handed her canteen to Williams. "We must live our life always giving back so that when we are gone our contributions are remembered and we are missed."

"What made you think of that?" Williams asked, as she filled up the canteen.

"Do we need a reason to contemplate life and death?" Bhatia asked.

"Do we?" Williams knew that Bhatia was holding back something.

"You have spent too much time with me," Bhatia smiled as a shiver ran through her. She had been having them all day as the previous night's dream kept coming back to her mind.

"I'm waiting," Williams was not one to let things go.

"I had a nightmare last night," Bhatia confessed as another shiver caused her to hug herself slightly.

Potgieter, who had just started splashing water on the back of his neck stopped and looked up at her, "What did you dream, Nirali?"

Bhatia moved in between the two as she began, "I was swimming and I came across a wall of marble. It was so beautiful, Aaron … I felt as if the wall was calling to me, pulling me in. But then as I started to give in, it began to turn red … dark red … with clots of black tearing away at it … The black clots started to reach out like tar and I was afraid."

"What did you do?" Potgieter asked, mouth open.

"I tried to swim away," Bhatia answered, "that's when I saw it."

"Saw it?" Potgieter was caught up in her dream.

"The elephant made of steel," Bhatia said wide-eyed, causing Potgieter to unconsciously mimic her look, " … the tusks were caked with flesh and blood, the eyes were black and cold …"

"… black and cold …" Potgieter whispered as Williams raised her eyebrow at him and Bhatia continued.

"It was moving straight towards me and before I knew it …" Nirali slapped her hands together.

"Holy shit!" Potgieter who had been squatting fell over at the sound of her slap, "that must mean something, right?"

"It means that dinner disagreed with her," Williams shook her head as she stood, putting the top on the filled canteen and looking at Bhatia, "It was just a dream, Nirali. That's all."

"You are probably right, Ashley." Bhatia smiled, "I was having trouble sleeping last night as it was."

Potgieter still down on his butt, looked up at Nirali, "That ain't surprising … did you notice how quiet it was last night?"

"You noticed too?" Bhatia said, "The Aba crickets were silent, that can't be good."

"Oh, man," Potgieter wiped his face, "Something bad is going to happen."

Williams shook her head, "You two and your superstitions. Nothing bad is going to happen ... unless you count us being stuck out here all day."

Corporal Vieira, who had also been listening, added, "So true, Ash! What a shit assignment! While the 232 gets to sit up in the camp with the scientists and real shitters we are out here with the gas bags and bushes! I swear this place is going to kill us with shit details and boredom!"

Williams handed the filled canteen back to Bhatia as she silently seconded the feeling with the Corporal and then walked towards the main settlement. Eden Prime was a beautiful planet and a great place to get a tan but Williams wanted to be out in the Terminus Systems stopping the slaving rings that had captured and sold humans. Hell, she wanted to be given a chance to show what she was capable of and not left groundside because of her last name. The main colony was barely visible from where they were and she couldn't believe that even on Eden Prime she was somehow giving the shittier of the two assignments. Maybe one day she would be given a chance. Maybe one day her family name would not hold her back and she could prove her value … maybe even restore her family's honor. Sure … like that is ever going to happen, Williams thought as she checked her weapon.

The bottle smashed against the SSV Normandy spraying Atlantic sea water on her hull and on the Senator Varus who was christening her. Standing just to the side of her was Admiral Hackett who was ducking the spray as well as ensuring that the Senator did not fall out of the bucket that had brought them out and over to the side of the vessel. The possibility of her falling out was highly unlikely but he was always a cautious man. Experience had taught him that nothing was impossible. Although this was not the first flight of the Normandy it was the first time that it would go through a mass relay and so this was its day to be christened and receive its official launch.

The Senator had been pleased to see the young Lieutenant again and after smashing the bottle she looked over at her. Shepard was standing next to Anderson looking not at her but at the vessel and watching the sea water dripping off of her. Senator Varus smiled at Shepard as she leaned into the Admiral and said through a smile so as not to be understood by anyone but the Admiral, "Is she privy yet to where her career is going?"

"I don't believe so," Hackett answered in the same fashion as he looked over at Shepard, "The Captain wanted to tell her with the turian present."

"I see," Varus said, grabbing on to the rail and Hackett's extended arm as the bucket began to move slowly back, "You realize that she will not be pleased with this development?"

"What?" Hackett was sure that he had misunderstood what was just said by his old friend.

"Come, Stevie," Varus laughed at his shock. "Was there anything in her file that would suggest otherwise?"

Hackett looked over at Shepard again who was now smiling as the Alliance Band played Wings To Flight. "She must accept this, Claudy."

"Of course she must," Varus said smiling towards the media and their cameras as the bucket drew closer. "And Shepard will accept ... but I'm afraid that we will be more pleased than she will."

"Then why did you ensure that she was approved?" Hackett looked at Varus who was still smiling at the media; I will never understand women, "What kind of soldier would not want this honor... this ... ?"

"Power?" Varus finished. "The only kind of soldier … human or otherwise, that should ever be allowed to be a SpecTRe. Shepard has never been comfortable in her hero role nor has she ever abused it. Not once have I seen or heard of her using her past record to advance or receive special favors."

"Why should she?" Hackett asked. "Everything came to her without her needing to ask."

Varus gave a short laugh, "And every time she has accepted without desiring it."

Hackett shook his head, "Why would a woman accept what she doesn't desire?"

Varus turned and looked at Hackett, "Duty. That has no sex … and you know that! She feels a duty and I would hazard a guess that she is here for personal reasons. But not reasons of greed ... Something to do with Mindoir."

"Revenge?" Hackett felt the bucket lurch slightly and Varus held his arm tighter. It made him feel good.

"Nothing so base as that," Varus said in disgust. "No ... her reasons would be of a more noble set."

"So that is why you were so quick to step in the ring for her all these years?" Hackett looked deep into her eyes.

Varus turned away from Hackett and smiled again at the crowd … through her smile she answered, "Do not flatter me with false words, Stevie. I am not above base motivations and as such that was not my original reason for moving her forward." The memory of her son and his death passed in her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Claudy." Hackett had seen the shadow pass over her and regretted causing her pain, no matter how brief.

Varus patted him on the arm and gave a faint smile, "It's okay ... My original reasons were selfish but not for this role. This will require someone special because they will represent all of us ... She does not abuse her position, want for promotion and is here out of duty. What she is being offered has the weight of being a hero. That ... times a hundred ... She will not want it, it will weigh heavy on her soul, but she is the only individual that I would trust in that capacity. The only individual that may have a chance of not being corrupted by it and most importantly on the galactic stage showing the best of what we humans are to the other species."

Hackett looked down at the Senator as the bucket was being lowered onto the stage, "I am glad that you are on our side, Claudy."

The Senator as the door on the bucket was opened whispered into the Admiral's right ear, "She will need a support system, Admiral. I will leave that to you to ensure that it is the best."

"She doesn't need anything with you on her side," Hackett laughed as he took her hand and they started walking with her back to the podium.

Shepard looked past the Senator, the Admiral, media, brass, politicians, everyone and looked at Liam. He had surprised her and showed up at the launch in his Sunday best. He was smiling and looking at her with such pride that she wished that she could feel for him the way he felt for her. That was always how it went, Shepard wishing that she could fully reciprocate feelings but coming up empty. Maybe if she just tried harder ... or faked it. Maybe with time she would love the person. As the Admiral and Senator walked back to the podium she thought of her last hours at her aparment early in the AM. He had made her breakfast at 0430 as she showered. She had thought that he was still sleeping and it made her laugh with joy as she saw the table set and him holding a cup of coffee as she came out of the bathroom.

As she sat at the small dining table and he put a Spanish omelet on her plate, he had asked her if she had ever wanted to do anything else.

"You mean other than being in the Alliance?" Shepard had asked as she picked up a slice of bacon off the plate.

"Yes," Liam really wanted to know everything about her.

"Hmm," Shepard took a small bite and thought as she chewed. "Well, let's see. I wanted to be a ballerina, a concert pianist, a doctor, a swim teacher to a krogan, a-"

"Wait," Liam laughed, "a swim teacher to a krogan?"

A small smile crossed Shepard's face as she took a drink of orange juice, "I was ten. Don't ask."

"What do you mean 'don't ask'? … You can't say that then expect me to drop it, you know?" He pulled the glass of orange juice away from her.

"Can't I?" Shepard reached over and kissed him.

"No fair!" Liam closed his eyes as she kissed him again.

"You want fair?" Shepard whispered, as she slid onto his lap and began kissing his neck, "Let me use you once more before I hit the road."

"You mean space?" Liam pulled away from her.

Shepard ran her hand through his hair and nodded, "Uhm … space. So does that mean yes?"

The memory of that early morning release made her smile as she looked over at the Normandy again. The sea water was no longer dripping off it and Shepard was once again struggling with her life choices. She was wondering if this was really what she should be doing. The Alliance. She could go back to school and get her medical degree … There was so much doubt, so many questions, no one to really ask for guidance. The older she got the more she realized that she needed her mother's wisdom. But she knew that her mother would advise her to leave the Alliance. This was not what her mother would ever want for her … or her father if she were being really honest. He would have supported her, pretended that he was happy, but he would have lost sleep every night … Of course it would have been more about all the male soldiers then the bullets. Maybe after this mission, she thought. Maybe I could take an early leave.

She looked back at Liam; I could just marry him, make a home and have children. Would our son look like dad? Would our daughter look like momma? An image of her children running between her and Liam crossed her mind. Shepard looked down at her medals … Haven't I done enough? Ricky would understand wouldn't he? Ricky … the image of him being chained somewhere, jagged scar where they put the chip in his head, some creature owning him … hurting him all these years … while she laughed, fucked, moved in freedom he was what? Chained, raped, confined ... the thought caused her to flinch. No, Shepard looked at Liam. It's not about me or what I want … not until I find Ricky. If he is alive he will be freed! This I swear. This was her constant internal struggle. It was also a part of her push, strength and need to stay in control came from. Back and forth her mind went. One minute ready to walk away and be an everyday person … then the next knowing that she would never leave until she had her friend home. Until Ricky was on Illium, marrying that asari what's-her-name, working at some boring job and having his blue babies ... or his body placed in a grave next to his mother and sister on Mindoir, would she be free to truly live her life.

Nihlus had been observing Shepard all day and he was pleased at what he saw … She had a way of controlling those around her, of being the center without even trying and he was amazed at the way it did not seem to affect her. As he had watched her move through the crowd earlier he had found her movements so graceful that she reminded him of the asari on Thessia. Asari. Tela should be here, Nihlus thought wickedly. My old friend would fall into her web easily. He thought of that vid on her among the asari and the way she looked like a forbidden fruit among them. It had made him laugh as she denied them in a way that he had thought impossible of humans. Not that he didn't know of humans who hated the asari and were even petitioning a bill to add human to the definition of marriage as more humans started mixing with the aliens, especially the asari. The Alliance frowned on interspecies relationships but made no public stand on it since it might cause friction between them and the Council's acceptance and support of all relationships. But every soldier, officer and citizen working in the Alliance knew that it could be a death to advancement to take an alien as a partner. This was a mutual feeling between the turian government who also discouraged turians with humans.

In their brief conversation earlier in the morning Nihlus was surprised that Shepard was aware of his social customs, unaware that it was because of him that she had studied his species. After their battle on Antibaar, she had studied his kind with a passion in order to read them, to understand them, to kill them quickly. She had in fact did that with all the council races, studying them to better prepare for any possible future conflicts. She had even started learning their languages ... starting with the batarian standard language. Next time she met one of them she was prepared in more ways than one to cut them down.

As he spoke with her he was slightly frustrated that unlike other humans, he could not understand her motivation or desires. He saw no greed, no lust for power or arrogance. But he also saw that her politeness was a wall. She was shielded in mind and in absolute control of herself, leaving him unable to really see her. The more he studied her the more he realized that she was not like the other humans that he had met. No, she was different. Despite her wall, he believed that she was what he had hoped the new species might be … strong of mind, emotionally in control and self-sacrificing. But she was not perfect; part of that imperfection was revealed in her choice of a companion … a suppliant and not an equal. Nihlus could not believe that she had lowered herself to this human.

"Why him?" Silas asked Kaidan and Helen as he looked at Liam just twenty paces away from them. "I don't get it."

"I don't know," Helen was looking at Shepard and Anderson talking together on the stage, "Kaidan, do you?"

"What?" Kaidan, who had been deep in thought about the upcoming jump through the mass relay, looked at Helen confused.

"The Commander," Silas answered, glad to have any reason to look into Kaidan's brown eyes so close, "why is she with him? I mean, she could be with anyone."

"Like you?" Helen teased, knowing Silas' desire for the Lieutenant.

"Well," Silas looked embarrassed, "I was thinking someone like – like you." He said looking again at Kaidan. "I mean she's beautiful and your handsome … anyone would want either one of you."

"Hell, I'd take both of you at the same time," Helen laughed. "And I'm not even into guys! But you smell too good to not give a try!"

Kaidan put his hand to the back of his neck, "I think I need to take my position on the bridge."

"You would take them both as well," Helen whispered to Silas as she then followed Kaidan.

Helen was right, Silas had been attracted to Kaidan since day one of meeting him and it was the same with Shepard. Unlike Helen, he did find both men and women attractive, but after spending these past few months with Kaidan he would gladly give up sex with everyone else, settle down and commit to Kaidan … Silas looked at Shepard and frowned. But anyone could see that he likes you, hell, he wants you more than the waitress … I can tell. Silas thought. I hope that you are really in love with that loser or at the least don't like Kaidan. I'll never stand a chance if you do like him.

Williams was face down in the stream, the water no longer clear but red with blood … Alliance blood. It had happened so fast, one minute they were getting ready to move out … then death. None of the soldiers had ever seen the geth before and so many were unsure of how to respond. Williams had fought as her unit was quickly overpowered … They had tried to get off a distress signal as they fought and all of them experienced pressure in their head as they watched a ship, unlike any other, come down from the sky. Williams had taken down at least thirty of them as her fellow soldiers stood next to her and fought, died, hid and in some cases even ran.

They were quickly pushed back to the stream where they had earlier been laughing, cooling down and resting. A blast had scorched Williams' left side and had thrown her into the deeper part of the stream, the water carrying her twenty feet down as she struggled to gain control. She had heard Bhatia call out her name as she went under. This gave her the added strength to get back in shallow water but her energy was drained. She threw up water as she used every last drop of her strength to move closer to dry land.

Dear God, she prayed as she tried to stand, please help me! She had not made it in far enough and the current was too strong … it knocked her back down, pushing her yet again deeper into the water and as she saw geth off in the distance heading towards her she grabbed on to her weapon tight just as the stream began to push her on. The last sight that she remembered before going under yet again was Bhatia lying on her back next to the stream. Oh, God … please no!

"I searched for cracks and the wanting parts I fixed, three sari of bitumen I poured over the outside, to the gods I caused oxen to be sacrificed." Kaidan said as he took his seat next to Joker.

"What the hell does that mean?" Joker asked as he shifted in his seat.

"It's an old Babylonian description of a ship's completion," Kaidan answered as he began to check his console.

"Old?" Helen asked as she put her headset on. "How old?"

"It's from the third millennium," Kaidan answered, checking the time. "BC."

"You mean PU …" Joker cracked, pushing his cap lower on his forehead.

"Okay, Joker." Kaidan shook his head. "Everyone nervous?"

"Nope," Joker rubbed the console, "She is all mine and we are about to take her for a real spin."

"Did you get in on the bet?" Helen asked the two.

"Bet?" Kaidan asked.

"I went O for O …" Joker responded as he reviewed his readings.

"You don't think the Normandy will have any problems after going through?" Helen shook her head. "I went with the thrusters …"

"You two are betting on the problems we might have going through the relay?" Kaidan compared his readings with Joker's.

"Hey," Joker defended himself, "At least we are betting that she holds up!"

Helen tapping on her headset joined in, "Some guys in the other areas are betting we break apart in tiny pieces! A surprise gift from the turian part of the design."

"Shepard," Liam smiled as she came to him.

"What are you doing here?" She returned the smile. "I thought I left you exhausted in my bed."

Liam looked at Shepard's hands and held them, "When you get back I would like to ask you something."

Shepard knew that look. She had seen it on men before and her stomach sank. Funny how she had briefly contemplated settling for him, marrying him and now as he was about to verbalize it she knew that it would never work … never last. She would never marry unless it was for the same reasons that her parents did. Love. Shepard stepped closer as she held his hands tighter, "Liam, I'm not sure how long I'll be out there. Sometimes you go out on a mission that is scheduled to last a week and six months later you return."

"I can wait," Liam thought that she might think he would stray.

Shepard squeezed his hands, "Don't ... Make sure that while I'm gone that you see other lusty women."

Liam felt tears bite at him as she said those words and it left him cold, "Is that what you'll be doing?"

"Chasing lusty women?" Shepard tried to soften the message as she saw the hurt in his face. "Wasn't on my to-do list but if you want me to."

"Be serious," Liam stepped closer to her, letting her hands go and putting his arms around her waist.

Shepard quickly pulled away, "Not here, Liam."

"Don't want the guys to think you aren't available?" he shot and quickly regretted.

Shepard looked up into his face and frowned, "I told you … no promises. Please. I like us … I like spending time with you but … I need freedom. I need you to know that it's okay to not wait. To find comfort if needed with others. To fall in love with someone else."

"I know ... Sorry," he answered as she moved away from him. "I just … I want more but ... I won't push ... I just need to know that you feel-"

"When I get back," Shepard cut him off as she saw more of her crew boarding the Normandy, "we can talk then … but I must go."

Without a kiss or brush of the cheek, no words of I love you, Liam watched as Shepard turned and moved through the crowd towards the Normandy. He knew that she did not love him, that she would take lovers while gone … but he hoped that if he was patient enough, understanding enough and was open in how he felt … she would one day love him. Marry him. Have his children. One day.