Glee practice was short, after all of their speeches about showing how much they cared about Rachel were over there wasn't much time to practice, they did one song, a song that didn't involve Rachel and no matter how many of the Rachel-less songs they did, it still seemed weird not to have her there.

Puck found it weird when she wasn't criticising his performance faces, when he wasn't being told to smile or put some effort in, or to put more enthusiasm into his dancing, because right then he looked like he didn't even want to be there. And he missed telling her that he wanted to look like that, to looked like he didn't have to put effort in to be that good, and then have her look at him strangely as if she didn't agree.

Santanna and Brittany missed being able to bitch about her wardrobe choices and her hair, when she wasn't there it was harder to find someone to make fun off, and they just didn't feel right.

Kurt and Mercedes missed having there solo's stolen from them and they missed having to fight for what they got and having to earn the songs they got, they missed Rachel, they missed the diva off and it sucked to be the only diva's in glee, it was much more fun with competition.

Artie and Tina missed Rachel's voice, they were good singers but they weren't the strongest the group had, and when Rachel was there she could carry anyone, and now they had to work harder to project there voice, because Rachel couldn't just cover for them.

Mike and Matt missed her compliments, she was usually the only one to tell them how good their dancing was, and she always watched them so amused at how good they were, she always give them a chance to shine in her solo's, calling them to the front to show off what they got.

Quinn missed having her silent friend there, they went through a lot but they always had a silent love and respect for one another, and over the last few months it had gotten a whole lot stronger, and since Rachel came to Quinn there bond was pretty much unbreakable, they started off enemies and they hated one another but now, they were best friends who loved one another, and Quinn missed her, she never thought she would say that, but she missed the old Rachel.

And then there was Finn, he missed his partner, his co captain, he missed his best friend. Glee without Rachel was just not right, over the last few months when she hadn't really been there it was so strange it was like it was glee club in an alternate universe or something, it was sad and it wasn't fun. He had to sing the songs that they usually sung together with someone else, Sometimes it was Quinn, or sometimes it was Santanna or Tina, but every time it wasn't Rachel and it wasn't the same.

When glee was over Finn rushed out and jumped in his car rushing to get to Rachel's house, he knocked on the door and Hiram answered "She's in her room Finn" he said smiling at him and opening the door wider so that he could come in.

Instead of going straight up to her he walked to the living room where her other father was "How is she?" he asked Leroy,

"She's okay actually, I don't think it was as scary as she thought it would be" he answered Finn

"There were no tears on the way home" Hiram said joining Leroy on the couch.

Finn nodded "Is it okay if I go up?" Finn asked

Both fathers nodded "Of course" they said together, Finn nodded and smiled. He made his way to the stairs and quickly walked up them, he stopped outside her room and knocked lightly before opening the door.

She was sitting on her bed writing into a book, she set it down when she saw him, she looked up and smiled "Hi" she said, "How was glee?" she asked him.

He moved across the room and sat down on the bottom of her bed, He shrugged "Not the same without you" he said

"I'm sure it's fine" she told him and he shook his head

"It's not really, I've really missed you, I know you have been there but your mind hasn't, you barely sing any solo's and when you do it's like you don't even care, it's just not you Rach" he sighed "I mean I know it's been hard these past few months, don't think I'm trying to make you feel bad!" he said realising that it sound like he was trying to have a go at her for not being there.

She nodded "I know, I just haven't felt like singing, singing is something I always did when I was happy and right now I'm too far from happy to even try, it's like someone has pulled all of the joy from my body and I just can't push anything out of me, I can't push myself to sing a song with my heart in it, because right now it feels like my heart is nonexistent" she sighed

"It's ok" he said "because whenever you do sing with your heart in it, it will mean that your back to yourself and when that day come we'll all be so happy to see you back Rach" he smiled at her "How was it today?"

She looked at him thinking for a moment "I was really scared, because I didn't want to go in and bring everything up again, because it would be like reliving it, but it was okay, the lady made me talk about what I wanted to talk about and to start of slow, she said I didn't have to tell her anything I didn't want to" Rachel moved her finger around her legs, almost like she was drawing on something "But i was okay once I got into it, I told her everything and she looked so sorry for me, but that looked went away and she told all these things that could help, and I even felt a little better when I was talking to her, she told me that none of it was my fault and he was the person to blame and that blocking out my emotion towards the event wasn't good and that I should embrace what happened, she told me to start a diary and write down everything I feel, that's what I was doing when you came in, but so far I have today's date" she sighed

"That's good Rachel, your making progress at least, and you'll find the word to write don't worry, they will just come to you!"

"She told me that talking to friends was good too, but I'm not ready yet" she said and Finn knew by friends she meant him, he nodded and nod that told her it was okay and that he would be there when she was ready.

"She said that the baby and the check up and stuff would make me feel sad everytime, but it would get better and I would see a positive side to things, she said I will have good days and bad, that my moods will change, whether that was the pregnancy or me that she was talking about I'm not sure, but I know she was right."

Finn nodded again "So you're going to keep going?" she nodded "Good, I'm sure your dad's will be pleased"

"Did we get any homework today?" she asked

He shook his head "None in the last few classes, I just got some for Physics, but you aren't in my class for that" he told her and smiled "I can't stay long because my mum will kill me if I don't do it"

"That's fine, I'm going to have an early night anyway, and get ready for tomorrow" she smiled, he nodded and stood up, he kissed her forehead and left her room, letting himself out of the house not before shouting to her dads that he was leaving.

Rachel stayed on her bed staring at the diary in front of her, she picked it up and began writing.

Thursday July 1st.

It was my first day of counselling today, and she told me to start this so here I go. A few months ago I was raped in my school, I stayed behind with Finn to help him with glee stuff and these men were there, I watched him suffer every time he tried to help me, and then I had to go through that man touching me and raping me, it was the worst day of my life. My life is scared now because of it, it's like it broke my heart because I can't seem to think of anything else, I just feel like crying all the time.

That man is still out there and I will not be able to sleep right or stop thinking about how he could be doing that to others, I won't be able to stop until he is caught and I am safe from him. I can't talk to anyone about it because it's too painful. I'm hoping this counselling works, because the sooner I start to feel happy in myself again the better, I hate feeling miserable, I don't want to do anything, I used to love singing and glee club but now it's so hard to enjoy it because I have no heart to put in it.

And to make matter worse I'm pregnant because of the evil man, but the baby inside me is innocent, she didn't do anything. It would be wrong to punish her for something that happened to me, I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, How could I raise a baby? Right now I can barely look after myself, but then again I have my dad's and I have Finn, I know they will always be there for me.

Which brings me to Finn, I feel terrible, I feel as if I'm shutting him out, he is doing all he can do to make me feel better but sometimes I just feel worse, because this is something I need to do for myself, I love Finn but right now I just need to be alone with my thoughts, before this I would have given anything for Finn to be so concerned about me, because I was in love with him, he told me he loved me and I should have jumped at the chance, but now my heart won't let me, maybe one day I can be happy with Finn, I hope I can anyway.

Rachel.

She closed the book and climbed under her covers and drifted off to sleep, sleep which would probably be filled with nightmares.