Walking on the Tracks Chapter 11
Although we were a little shaken from the horrifying screams of wild animals, we managed to get back to sleep with the brave and valiant Teddy guarding over us. The dumbass decided to play a loud game of soldiers and give aloud reports of the current events much to our annoyance. When his turn was finally over Vern took over. Pretty sure the poor fucker was scared out of his wits for the whole watch.
At around midnight it was my turn to watch over my sleeping friends, I placed the gun next to me as I sat down in front of the fire, staring into the deep orange flames as the world around me was silent and still. I sorta liked it. It was a chance to sit alone and relax with my thoughts which were not rather pleasant at the time. I kept thinking about that talk I had with my dad before I left. I was trying to get my head around why my dad disliked my friends so much, what was wrong with them? Okay maybe Teddy was a little wild and reckless but it wasn't like he was some crazy ass psycho like his old man. Chris may have came from a rough family but he was the wisest guy I knew. If my old man could see that then maybe he would approve of my friends. Maybe.
What if it wasn't just my friends? What if my dad had a problem with me personally? My mind shot back to my early childhood, my dad and I used to go out fishing and for a game of football occasionally but I never really felt close to him. Jane was. Jane was a daddy's girl through and through, I could still remember the way my dad's eyes would sparkle whenever he saw her. My mother too, both my parents looked at Jane with love and pride whereas I would receive sanctions of cold glares and lecturing remarks from my parents.
I sighed deeply and looked down trying to avoid any pussy tears.
"You okay man?".
I looked up and saw Chris awake and staring at me with that familiar father like expression on his face. Not a judgemental father like expression but a caring and concerned one. "Nothing I'm fine" I muttered shaking my head and looking back at the fire "it's nothing". Chris wasn't entirely convinced as he got up and sat down next to me. I stayed silent and kept my focus on the shrinking glowing patch of flames in front of me. "Come on many I know something's up" Chris said to me "you can talk to me". I bit my lip and I could feel my friend's deep blue eyes on me, almost as if they were trying to take a look into my deepest thoughts. I shifted slightly and scratched the back of my neck. I cleared my throat before finally saying "I was just thinking that's all". "About what?" Chris asked quietly, "my dad" I replied after a small pause. I heard Chris sigh. He was all too familiar with problems with fathers.
"Has anything happened?" Chris looked back up at me and I finally looked back at his face, I still remember the way the flames lit on side of it, the other half was covered with the shadows. It really defined his features in a whole new way to me.
"He just..." I tried to think about what to say but my brain couldn't think of a right way to put the words. "We had a little argument before I left that's all" I said quickly. "Was it about anything serious?" Chris pressed on as I focused on my lap in a hope to not overthink things again, "just about my taste in friends" I said it quietly to avoid Chris getting upset but he just nodded his head and looked ahead. "He doesn't like us much huh?" Chris asked sighing, "I...I don't know I mean he doesn't really know you guys that well" I replied shrugging uncomfortably. "Dan it doesn't matter what he thinks, you are allowed to choose your friends right?" Chris told me nudging my shoulder with his. "I know" I said smiling slightly, "see there's no need tomorrow about bullshit like that" said Chris smiling too "just because he's your dad doesn't mean he can control every single aspect of your life".
"You're a smart one Chambers,you know that?" I asked Chris looking up at him, he let out a slight chuckle before nodding and replying "yeah", I smiled and looked back at the fire. It was silent for a few seconds until we heard a few muffled groans. We both looked up and saw Gordie flinching in his sleep. Suddenly he shot upwards with a small scream, he was pale and looking around frantically. "You okay Gordie?" I asked, "you were dreaming" Chris added as Gordie took deep slow breaths to calm himself. He then said in a small weak voice "I didn't cry at Denny's funeral".
Chris and I looked at each other then back to Gordie. "I miss him..." He whispered looking into the distance. "We know" Chris said softly "go back to sleep okay?". "I don't know if I can" Gordie replied closing his brown eyes. "Then come sit up with us" I suggested. Gordie swallowed a lump in his throat before getting up and joining us in front of the fire. None of us said anything for what felt like a long time until Chris broke the silence. "Why do you guys hang around with me?" he asked, surprising us both. "Chris you're our best friend" I told him, "but why? I mean what do you see in someone like me?" Chris asked looking down. "We just like you that's all man" Gordie said confused "why?".
Chris let out a deep sigh before getting up saying "forget it".
We watched as he walked over and sat down below a huge oak tree, burying the side of his face in his folded arms. Gordie and I soon got up and went to sit on either side of him. He didn't tell us to leave but instead stayed in his closed position. "Maybe you can come into the college courses with us" Gordie told him. "Yeah that'll be the day" Chris curtly said still not looking up at us. "Why not? you're smart enough" I said nudging him slightly. "They won't let me..." Chris responded pressing his lips together "because of the way people think of my family in this town and the way they think of me...I'm just one of those low life Chambers kids".
"That's not true" Gordie said firmly. "Oh it is" Chris said back looking up "no one even asked me if I took the milk money that time...I just got a three day vacation". I bit my lip before asking "did you take it?". "Yeah I took it. You guys knew I took it, Teddy knew I took it and so did everyone else" Chris replied as if it were no big deal but I could sense a strong problem with him. He was quiet for a few moments and then he sighed "maybe I was sorry and I tried to take it back". "You tried to take it back?" Gordie replied in disbelief, "maybe...just maybe" Chris said slowly "and maybe I took it to Old Lady Simmons and told her and the money was all there but I still got a three day vacation because it never showed up and maybe the next week Old Lady Simmons had this brand new skirt on when she came to school".
"You mean the ugly brown one with dots on it?" I asked shocked from what I was hearing, Chris nodded and carried on speaking, sounding more and more hurt as he went on with his painful story. "So let's just say that I stole the milk money but Old Lady Simmons stole it back from me...now just suppose that I told this story. Me Chris Chambers kid brother to Eyeball Chambers, do you think anyone would of believed it?". Gordie and I sadly shook our heads. It was all too true. No one would have believed Chris.
"And do you think that that bitch would have dared try something like that if it had been one of those douchebags from up on The View if they had taken the money?!" Chris asked, burning anger growing stronger in his voice. "No way" Gordie replied. "Hell no! But with me..." Chris looked down and shook his head, "sure she had her eye on that skirt for long time and she saw her chance and took it...I was the stupid one for trying to give it back" he said. Tears started to swell in his eyes and his voice became full of hurt and pain as he wept "I just never thought...I never thought that a teacher...oh who gives a fuck anyway?!".
He burst into tears. All the pressure and stress that had been dragging him down for most of his life finally caused him to collapse inside as he sobbed into his closed lap. I still feel the heavy ache in my chest every time I think back to it.
Chris then looked up and swallowed his sobs.
"I just wish that...that I could go some place where nobody knows me". With that he broke down again. I was speechless. All this time I thought Chris was the strongest of us all, he seemed to carry the world on his shoulders no matter how heavy it was. It was at that moment I realised that even the strongest of us can fall and break sometimes.