Author's note: Just a reminder, in this story Brooke and Lucas broke up because she found out about him having HCM and having lied about it to her. I mention that in here and just wanted to remind you that this doesn't follow the show, I wrote it before all of the Peyton drama at the end of the season.

Chapter 11- In the Arms of an Angel

As she awoke she felt torn between submitting to the coolness against her cheek and the aching pain in her head. Forcing her eyes open, she realized that that coolness came from the tile floor of Nathan and Haley's bathroom. She tried to think back to last night, but had little success. The aching in her head coupled with the fact she was crumpled up on the bathroom floor certainly wasn't a good sign. Then, she felt the strong arm that was draped over her stomach pull her closer. Lucas.

She smiled a little, knowing that he cared enough to sleep on the bathroom floor with her. She was then filled with dread. Judging by her headache she was quite certain that the previous night has been pretty bad, and she knew that there was no way she could avoid talking to him about it now.

Brooke rolled onto her back slowly, careful not to awake him. She tilted her head just a bit to that she could see his face. His concern and worry for her were evident even though his eyes were closed.

Looking at him took her back to a time when everything was okay, a time before the HCM broke them up. It used to be Brooke and Lucas against the world. She liked to think back to those times whenever things got bad. It took her to a time where she knew what she was doing, where she was going, but then it all crumbled.

She tried not to blame him for it. She tried not to remember that it was his lies that had broken them up, but it was. Still, he was here for her. When it came down to it, he showed up when she really needed him, even if she wouldn't admit that need.

She felt him moving a little besides her and she looked at him intently. As his eyelids lifted she became captivated by those baby blues, they were what had won her over in the first place all those years ago.

"Good morning Pretty Girl, how are you feeling?" He asked softly.

"I've had better days." She spoke in a husky whisper, she sound of which stirred something deep inside of him, something that he knew he had to ignore for the time being.

"Can I get you some Tylenol or something, water? Anything?"

Brooke nodded slowly, not really wanting him to get up from besides her. "Some Tylenol would be great."

Lucas nodded and slowly untangled himself from her. A small groan escaped as he did this, surprising them both.

Lucas stood and rifled through a small bag on the counter besides the sink. He unearthed a bottle of Tylenol and shook a couple into his hands. He reached out, turning on the faucet, and after waiting for the water to get cold, he filled a glass for her. As he turned to her she hoisted herself up so that she sat against the wall.

"Thanks." She said as she reached for the glass of water. She popped the pills into her mouth and slowly drank the water, savoring the coolness that flowed through her insides as she drank.

"Rough night." Lucas stated as he sat back down besides her, not really expecting much in return.

Brooke nodded in agreement. Suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed, she was pretty sure it was bad.

They sat there in silence for a few more minutes, both reluctant to leave the bathroom. It somehow felt like a safe place, like whatever was on the other side of the door couldn't touch them in the bathroom. Brooke knew that the only thing waiting on the other side of that door was life, and as badly as she wanted to escape it, there wasn't any way to make it all go away.

Brooke reached up to grab the rod of the towel rack and pulled herself from the ground. It took her a minute to catch her footing, as the room spun around her as she stood.

"Ready?" He asked, looking up at her.

She nodded and he pulled himself up off the floor, placed a hand in the small of her back, and led her from their safe place into the harsh world.

Brooke went into Nathan and Haley's bedroom and found her dress neatly folded on a chair. She shut the door behind her and quickly got dressed.

"How is she?" Haley asked as Lucas entered the living room.

"Hungover."

"I bet." Haley smiled, attempting to let him know that it would all work out.

Moments later Brooke emerged from the bedroom, clad in her dress from the night before, her hair pulled atop her head in a messy bun.

Brooke smiled when she caught sight of Haley, and then frowned when she saw what she was doing. Haley was cleaning out a trash can, Brooke was quite certain the need for that was that Brooke had gotten sick the night before. She became embarrassed and could feel her cheeks flush.

"I'm sorry Haley. I…"

"Shh. It's okay. We've all had a rough night or two in our life. There's no need for apologies. I married Nathan Scott remember? This isn't the first garbage can I've had to clean out." Haley tried to make light.

"Thanks." Brooke whispered, still rather embarrassed.

"I'll take you home now." Lucas started, "Unless you think he will be there."

Brook shook her head, "No, he had an early flight today. He's gone for the next few weeks, unless he orchestrates another surprise visit."

Lucas looked to Nathan, who had been sitting silently at the dining room table. "I wouldn't worry about that too much."

Brooke looked curiously between the two brothers, but decided to wait until later to figure out what their glances were about.

Lucas stood and walked towards the door of the suite, opening it for Brooke.

As she began to walk out she turned to Nathan and Haley, "I'm sorry again for last night."

"Apologies are never necessary between friends." Haley smiled. "Feel better, I'll call you later."

Brooke nodded and followed Lucas out the door.

Hours later Brooke soaked in her marble tub filled to the top with lilac scented bubbles. Holding her breath she pulled her head beneath the water and relished in the immediate silence that surrounded her.

Emerging from underneath the bubbly water, she looked towards the closed bathroom door, again feeling as though she was in a safe place. She knew that on the other side of that door was Lucas, and he was waiting.

He had been kind enough to wait until she was feeling better to even broach the subject of what had happened the night before. Brooke knew that once she was out of the bath, he would bring it up. She knew that she had to talk to him. She couldn't avoid him any longer.

Pulling herself from the bath, she reached for her towel. After toweling herself off, she pulled on the pair of sweat pants and the t-shirt she had brought into the bathroom with her. And after brushing her hair, she reached for the door knob, took a deep breath, and entered her bedroom, noticing an obviously anxious Lucas sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Feel better?" He asked.

"Much, that bath really did the trick." Brooke smiled at him.

"Brooke we need to…"

"I know." She interrupted. "Trust me, I know."

She walked over to the bed and sat beside him, her face riddled with angst.

"Does that happen a lot?" He asked, trying to ensure his voice was filled with empathy and not in any way accusatory.

"Which part? Me getting drunk, or passing out at a bar?" She asked, clearly already feeling defensive.

"Both."

"It certainly wasn't the first time I've been that drunk, but it was the first time I've passed out at a bar. I promise you Lucas, that was the lowest I've ever been. I swear that to you."

Lucas looked at her, wanting to believe her, but not sure that he had any cause to.

"How long has this been going on, the drinking I mean?"

"Six months or so." She stated shortly.

"What started it?" He looked intently at her, pleading for some clue as to what made her feel this low.

"I don't know." She said, averting his glance.

"Brooke, please, just talk to me."

Brooke shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. "I can't."

Lucas reached out and took her hand. "I won't judge, I promise."

"You will judge. Everyone judges. They've always judged. You want to know what happened Lucas? I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the pressure to be so much. Is that so wrong?"

Lucas shook his head. "Not at all. But what pushed you to this Brooke? I know it can't be just the pressure of people's expectations. We all face that, you've always faced it and managed to handle it. Something else had to have happened."

Brooke looked up at Lucas, her eyes clouded with tears, her bottom lip quivering. She knew the moment she opened her mouth she would lose it. She sat there for a minute drawing in deep breaths, trying to regain her composure.

"He didn't want a baby Luke, he didn't want the one thing I wanted more than anything. It got so bad, it hurt so much, I just couldn't handle it anymore, couldn't handle being sad everyday. I had to do something to feel better."

"There are other ways Brooke."

Brooke finally looked up at him again, "None that are as quick and effective as a little wine, or vodka, or scotch, whatever my chosen poison of the night is. Nothing works quite like that. I can escape for the night, wake up, and face the world again."

"How often?" Lucas asked. "How often are you drinking?"

"Every time it hurts."

"It doesn't make you feel better, it doesn't make it better Brooke. It just makes you numb to it Brooke. It isn't helping."

Brooke shook her head and stood up off the bed, rushing towards the door. Lucas realized she was trying to run and dashed before her, standing between her and the door.

"You aren't leaving this room yet Brooke. You can't run away."

"You can't tell me what to do, you have no right. You aren't my boyfriend, god, you aren't even my friend." She pointed her finger accusingly as she spoke.

"You can say every hurtful thing you can think of but I'm not leaving because I am your friend, and you know that. Keep throwing out the insults Brooke, I'm not going anywhere. Not this time. I won't let you hide."

Brooke stood before him stunned. She didn't know what to say. Brooke stood her ground, her arms crossed over her chest. She wouldn't back down. This was her life, she needed to control it.

They stood there looking at each other, both daring the other to step down. Suddenly, Brooke crumbled, her tiny body wracked with sobs. Lucas reached out and pulled her into him, she fought him, punching his chest.

"Don't. Just let me go Lucas, please just let me go."

Lucas held her tighter, the harder her tiny fists punched his chest he held her tighter, knowing that letting her go was the worst thing he could do. "Not this time."

Finally she stopped punching, her body went weak, and she let herself melt into him. He held her tighter still as she sobbed into his chest. He felt his shirt soaking through with her tears, but still he didn't let her go.

After what seemed like hours her tears subsided. Lucas loosened his grip on her and she melted to the ground. He sat across from her on the floor.

"Talk to me about it Brooke, please, talk to me about it."

She shook her head, so wary of letting him in. Then she looked into his eyes and knew that he genuinely cared. Finally, she let her walls down and let him in.

"I walk through the mall and see all of the mothers pushing their babies in their strollers. I go into stores and sift through the racks of baby clothes, imagining how I would dress my baby."

Lucas listened intently as she spoke and noticed how her eyes clouded over and it seemed as though she was somewhere else, somewhere where she could safely bask in her dreams.

"I tell him over and over how much it hurts me, how much I want a baby. I want a family, my own family. I want to do all of those things my mother never did with me. But he always says no, that everything is perfect the way it is, just the two of us. It isn't though, it isn't what I want, not at all I want. I see so much more than just the two of us. I yearn for so much more. I can see it Luke, the life I want. I can see myself pushing the stroller through the park. I can see myself pushing my little girl on the swings. I can see us shopping and going to movies. I can see myself helping her with her homework, watching her at ballet class. God, I can see her so vividly it's like its real."

Tears were running down her cheeks, but she maintained her composure. Her words flowed from somewhere deep inside of her, somewhere she had tried to hide from for so long. Lucas was mesmerized by her words.

"She's so beautiful. She has this dark brown hair, just like me. She has bright blue eyes and milky skin…." Brooke stopped abruptly when she saw the look on Lucas' face. He too had gone to somewhere far away as she spoke, but something she had said had ripped him back to reality. "What?"

"Your daughter, the little girl you imagine?" He looked to Brooke, she nodded, urging him on. "She's supposed to be our daughter Brooke. Not you and Devon, me and you. I've imagined her thousands of times, we've imagined her. Don't you remember?"

She thought for a moment, then suddenly she could remember. All of those times, laying on his bed, talking about their future. They were going to start with two kids, a boy and a girl. Brooke wanted the girl first. Lucas secretly wanted the boy first but was happy to indulge her in her fantasy of her first child being a girl. She would have Brooke's hair and Lucas' eyes. She would have Brooke's carefree outlook on life and Luke's deep artistic side, the ideal combination of their distinguishing traits.

"How could I forget? That was our dream."

Lucas nodded. "Once upon a time it was supposed to be Brooke and Lucas, our two children, a dog, our house with the big backyard. I've held those dreams close to me Brooke. When nothing else in my life was right, I clung to those memories, those times where all that mattered was us. I can't let those things go."

Brooke hugged her knees to her chest. "I can't believe I forgot." She lost herself in thought again. And then, minutes later, began to speak softly. "I didn't forget. It was always there. You were always there. No matter how hard I tried. There were still those times, those times I yearned for you, those times I imagined it was you who would come home to me at the end of the day."

"I'm sorry that I took those things away from you, I'm sorry that our dreams didn't come true and you were left with all this pain."

"There were even times I looked at Devon, when we made love, and I saw you. I wanted it to be you so bad." She looked down at the ground, embarrassed by this.

Lucas sat there, looking intently at her, not knowing what to say. "I'm so sorry Brooke, I'm sorry for all of it. Even those things that I really can't control, I feel like it all put you here. Let me make up for that now though. Let me be that guy. You hit rock bottom last night Brooke, and watching it tore me up inside, so please let me help you get better. I don't know what the future holds for us, and now that isn't what's important. What is important is that I am here, now, begging you to let me in. Begging you to let me help you. Please, let me help you Brooke." He looked at her, waiting for her answer.

She nodded, reluctantly at first then knew there was no use in fighting in. There wasn't anything she could say to make him go away. In truth, she didn't want to. "Please don't leave me Lucas, not again." She whispered, and, looking up at him, he nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere this time Pretty Girl." He reached out, pulling her into him, holding her as her body wracked with sobs.

Finally she looked up at him. "What do I do Lucas? How did it get this bad?" She asked him, praying he had answers.

He sat there thinking for a minute. He knew that it was no longer important how she got to this point, the only thing that mattered now was making sure that he could help her, help bring back the girl that he had met all those years ago, bring back Brooke Davis.

"I can't tell you how it got this bad Brooke, only you know that. But I can tell you that it's going to get better."

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's you and me against the world now Brooke, together we will get you through this."

Brooke bit the edge of her lip as she looked at him, "I don't know how to stop."

"We'll figure it out, together."

Brooke nodded. The two sat in silence across from each other on the floor, both looking at each other and hoping that they would be enough, that together they could get through this.

Finally Brooke broke the silence, "It's getting late. I'll make us some dinner."

Lucas nodded and began to stand up off the floor. Reaching down, he pulled Brooke up as well.

He reached for the door when she called out, "Wait."

He turned to her, puzzled, and she reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around her just as she stood on her tip toes and whispered into his ear, "Thank you."

Lucas said nothing. There were no more words. Not now. They had said all they could say. Now, all he could do was be there for her. He finally had a chance to make up for the past and he was going to do all he could for her.

Lucas just prayed that that would be enough.