Sorry about the late update! BUT HERE IT IS!br /

BTW just a note~br /

I have started school again, and so there is no guarantee I will update soon. Plus, I am juggling this story and my other two stories, PLUS my youtube series: "Pokemon Academy: Love Wars"! Please check it out and leave a comment~

These days I've been really inspired about my youtube series as I have just gotten into the 2nd arc of it! I also, want to keep updating on my stories which have demand for it. So the more comments, the more likely I will update it! However, since my youtube series is having lots of comments lately, I will most likely try to finish that first! (a lot more than one or two is what I mean)

Also, I have someone who likes my Detective Conan/Magic Kaito in Pokemon series! So I want to update that soon, too. Then, there is my bleach series which someone has recently commented on after so long! xD So yeah.

Sorry about ranting so much, now enjoy the chapter~

My name is Kondo Isao.

And I am the chief of police.

"I'm just such a pitiful wreck There's no way any woman would go for me.". I sigh, dejected. "I'm just no good at all." I'm truly pathetic. Sitting at a café ranting to the cute waitress girl who happened to be serving me. I sigh into my hands which covers my face.

"That's not true."

The waitress, Otae's voice rang like an angel's. "You're very manly… It's nice."

Her words were like a soothing melody, it drew me to look up at her face. She was beautiful; her hair smooth chocolate brown, her eyes strong and kind, and her skin as pale and smooth as a pearl. She was too good to be true.

"Tell me… Otae-san…" I find my voice shake, "If your boyfriend…"

"Hmm?"

"What if he was impotent?" I exhale.

I let my eyes watch as she smiles and closes her eyes. "I would love him, impotence and all."

She's so calm. Accepting everything… almost like Buddha!

"P-" She turns to look at me,

"-P-" She tilts her head, cutely.

"-PLEASE MARRY ME!"

That's what happened two weeks ago.

"So that's what happened, Gin-san!" I slam my hands onto the table of the restaurant. "Please do something about your housemate!"

Gin-san picks his ear, "Oi, oi. What do you mean, 'do something'? If you want to do something—" he gets up twirls around and points up in the air, "Just do it!" He then quickly climbs back into the booth. "Don't tell someone else to deal with your problems."

"But, Gin-san! He is your housemate and friend, right? Why can't you just tell him off?!"

"Me and the Gorilla!? Friends? No—no, I don't know any gorillas." Gin-san waves me off. Now that I think of it, he looks kind of pale ever since I mentioned Kondo-san's stalking. "Besides! You need one gorilla to take care of another! And you already have a gorilla, so you'll be fine!" He points to Sis, "See, right here—there is a gorilla right here—!"

Crack!

Sis grabs Gin-san's finger he was pointing at her and snaps it. Her aura turns deadly, "Who are you calling a gorilla, huh—!"

Gin-san quickly snatches his hand away and massages his finger in tears. He turns to Kagura who has been slurping a ramen beside him the whole time, motioning his broken finger to her. Kagura grabs the finger and pops it back into place, making Gin-san yelp. Afterwards, Gin-san blows at his finger, cradling it into his chest.

Kagura continues the conversation in Gin-san's place. "But, Anego, what's Gin-chan supposed to do? There's no telling that the gorilla will just give up with Gin-chan's talk!"

"Yeah! Plus, Gin-san doesn't want to get into your business with the Gorilla anyways!" Gin-san complains. He then narrows his dead fish eyes at Sis, "You started this, so you should end it yourself." He then walks up from his seat and leaves the restaurant.

I watch his back as he leaves, and once it was out of sight, I let my head drop on the table. I turn my head to face Sis and sigh, "Now what will we do, Sis? Gin-san was our only hope…"

"Oh, don't worry Shin-chan." A sudden burst of dark aura seeps out of Sis, a devilish smirk spread across her lips. "I have a plan."

It was afternoon when I saw that.

I was doing my usual patrol, to make sure no one was attacking Otae-san, when she enters a small café. It was a cute café, different from the one she works at. This café was one for couples. Couples..

Otae-san is meeting up with her boyfriend?! Who could that bastard be?!

Worried for her well being, I sneak around the building and found where Otae-san was sitting. I stake out by the window, so I could watch over Otae-san like a guardian gorilla and not get caught. I observe the room carefully, looking for the fiend of a boyfriend. Then the door to the shop opens, and the little bell giggles. I narrow my eyes to the door, only for them to widen at who had come through the door.

A familiar silver curly perm, dead red fish eyes, and that irkingly familiar bored face—Sakata Gintoki strolls into the little café that holds my Otae-san. What's he doing here?! Gin-san strides closer and closer to Otae-san. Don't tell me…! Finally, just as I feared, he sat down across from Otae-san.

Why is he sitting across from Otae-san?! Don't tell me Gin-san is Otae-san's boyfriend?! I then felt anger boil through me. How dare he-!

After watching him order a parfait, I storm off back to headquarters.

Weird… It's really weird now that I think about it… I grumble as I walk home. Earlier I was at a café that Otae told me to go to—she said that she would treat me to a parfait. And of course, who was I to refuse? Those parfaits don't just eat themselves now, do they. But that's what's weird…

Why would Otae ever treat me to a parfait?

I know that she and Shinpachi are dirt poor. Heck—they can barely get by with how much loans they have to pay back for their old man.

Then why…?

I puzzle at the question, as I unlock the front door to the house, and enter. Once I entered, I kick off my shoes. Then, I stride through the living room into the dining room, only to come to a halt when something stands in front of my path—

—a gorilla.

I blink once, then twice; yet the gorilla did not disappear from my field of vision. I scratch my head in irritation. "Oi, oi. Why is there a gorilla blocking the road?" I then shout to the other tenants, "Who brought a gorilla home?" No one responds to my question so I sigh. I try to push past the gorilla, only for it to grab my wrist and stop me. I stare at it with my dead fish eyes and he stares back with a determined glint. I sigh again before I yank my arm out of his hold and scratch my perm. "Okay, what do you want?"

Kondo-san begins to tremble, then the tremble becomes tremors, and he explodes with a harsh growl that I thought wouldn't be possible for a gorilla. "Gintoki…"

"Hnnn?"

"Wha—wha—" he stutters, before shouting. "What is your relationship with Otae-san!?"

I blink. Otae? That gorilla woman? Oh yeah… he stalks her. "Oi, oi." I pick my nose, "There isn't anything between me and her, okay. Gin-san is completely innocent!"

As I fling my booger away, Kondo-san flips out. "What do you mean you do this and that and THAT!"

I didn't even say anything like that—!

I raise my arms to show my innocence, but he just continues to push on. He digs through his pockets and pulls out something white, then throws it at me. I look down at the ground where the item lays, only to see a pair of white gloves. Gloves…? And white ones at that… Isn't this those rich girl rituals—

"I challenge you to a duel!" Kondo-san declares.

—for challenging other rich girls?

My eyebrow twitches and my mouth goes dry in disgust. "D-d-d-d-d-d-duel?! What are you going to do next? Spout 'the heart of the cards' next?! Geez, Gori-san, I didn't take you for one to want to play shadow games!" I laugh.

Kondo-san only keeps a grim serious expression on his face, showing his determination. Uggh… he's serious…

I exhale an exasperated sigh as I massage my temples. How annoying… "Fine, fine. Let's get this over with." I wave my hand, showing a hand of cards. "What kind of duel do you want? Yugioh? GX? 5Ds? Arc-V?" I switch out the cards with every name I call, "Blue-eyes white dragon? Dark magician? Or maybe the classic Pikachu!"

"OI! What's with that last one! That wasn't even a Yugioh card!" Gori-san points at the lone Pikachu card in my hand full of Yugioh cards.

"Then how about a Gori-card?" I throw a banana at the gorilla man.

By reflex, Kondo jumps in the air to catch the banana. Hastily, he peels the banana and begins to scarf it down. "Thwis ishn't eevwen a cward!" he shouts with his chewing mouth.

Then, don't eat the banana, you damn gorilla. I can't help but glare down at the hunched up figure chewing on is banana like it's his first meal. My hand ruffles my bangs in exhaustion, all I really want to do right now is sit on the couch and read Jump, and yet, I have to go past a gori-barrier.

I guess I have no choice.

I rub the back of my head and sigh. "Fine—I'll play your little game."

"TAKE THIS! SECRET TECHNIQUE! GORIIIIIILLAAAAA BUUUUUSTEEEEEEERRRRR!" Kondo turns his card on the table to show he was attacking.

"You've fallen right into my trap…" A smirk plays onto my lips as I quickly swipe up my face down cards and flip it. "Trap card! THE BANANA PEEL!"

"THE BANANA PEEL?!" Kondo gasps.

"Yes, the Banana Peel!" I begin to explain, "With this trap card, the gorilla attacking will slip onto the banana peel and it's attack will be reflected back onto the player!" Letting myself get caught in the flow of the game, I point at the gorilla stalker in front of me. "Now go!"

Kondo's lifepoints hit zero. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He falls onto his knees screaming in shame.

A rage of applause fills the background as I stare at the crouched gorilla in despair. I can't help but feel cold at the image. What the heck did I get into…?

A hand on my shoulder wakes me up from my distant thoughts. Hastily, I turn to face the intruder of my space only to be met with equally cold dark blue eyes.

Hijikata stares at me before motioning towards the weeping gorilla. He scrunches his eyebrows and squints an eye at my bored poker face. "What the hell is this about?"

My throat is dry as I try to wrap my head around the question. A gulp before I actually answer, "I—"

My eyes shift to the gorilla and the scattered gori-cards on the floor.

"—I'm not sure, myself."

The two of us stood there staring at the hopeless gorilla.

It has been a day since my defeat from Gintoki—

—And I am back to guarding the ever beautiful and majestic Otae-san.

I mean—I am patrolling! Yes—patrolling! Don't get the wrong idea about it! I am only being a good guardian gorilla and am watching over her from a far!

I lift my head for another glance at Otae-san's beauty, but no one was there.

Huh?! Where'd Otae-san go?!

I quickly jump up to start my search for Otae-san. Crackle. I hear a cracking of knuckles behind me. Instinctively, I turn to the sound. And there she was—Otae-san in her god-like beauty!

Huh? Is it my imagination or are those devil wings… and horns?!

"I told you—you're—BEING…" Otae-san's fist comes at me in a shocking speed, connecting with my chin, and sending me flying. "ANNOYING!"

My name is Kondo Isao.

And I am the chief of police and—

Tears of pain and joy flow out of my eyes as I collapse on the streets—

—chin throbbing from hard love.

—a Gorilla Stalker.

So how was it? Did you love the gorilla-ness? Sorry, I used too many gorilla jokes, huh. Well, anyways, you know the drill? Please leave a comment before you leave!~

P.S. I will post the picture with time, but I need to finish my homework so can't right now :(