You know how Anakin has a drinking problem in this story? Well, a lot of other people do as well! Yay! Sorry if this chapter is a little short, that's just how it turned out.

Disclaimer: I don't sfjwifbnwreob. Sorry, I fell asleep. If Alcoholics Anonymous is a trademark name, I don't own that either.

After his ship had disappeared, Obi-Wan sneaked back into the city and meandered through the corridors until he found a citizen who could lend him some transport.

"Sorry, all our mechanical transports are being used today," the Utapauian told Obi-Wan. "All we have is this lizard."

He pointed towards a bright green lizard the size of an elephant, which had been equipped with a leather saddle and reins.

"His name is Boga," the man added, patting the lizard's neck.

"No, it isn't," Obi-Wan said briskly as he swung himself into the saddle. "His name is Qui-Gon the Second now."

The lizard turned out to be a very efficient mode of transport; Obi-Wan was able to travel very swiftly along the ramps and platforms of the city. As the lizard bounded along a high platform, Obi-Wan looked down and finally saw what he had been searching for. The Separatist leaders were seated in a circle of chairs in the hangar below, and General Grievous was stalking back and forth in the centre of the circle.

Obi-Wan jumped down from his mount and crept closer to the edge of the platform, straining his ears to hear Grievous' voice.

"Hello and welcome to our Alcoholics Anonymous meeting," Grievous said. "Today you may share anything you want with us, and we'll try to help you out. I'll begin. Hello, my name is Grievous, and I am an alcoholic."

Frowning, Obi-Wan stuck his finger in his ear and wiggled it around a bit, wondering if he had heard correctly.

"Hello, Grievous," chorused the group, like a class of schoolchildren.

"Since I was seven," the evil cyborg continued. "I've been raiding Lord Sidious' liquor cabinet. I have a particular weakness for vodka."

"Dear God!" gasped Obi-Wan.

"Nute, would you like to continue?" Grievous asked, turning to the Trade Federation Viceroy, who was nervously fiddling with his collar.

"Okay," Nute muttered. "Well, I've been drinking for a long-time, to relieve my anxiety and pent-up anger. I..." The Neimoidian suddenly burst into tears. "I just can't live with myself anymore!"

Rune Haako put an arm around his sobbing friend's shoulders and murmured, "It's okay," over and over.

"Thankyou Nute," Grievous interrupted, speaking loudly so that he could be heard over Nute's sobs. "Who would like to go next?" He looked inquiringly around at his companions.

"I would," called a droid from the far end of the table. The droid stood and cleared his throat. "I've been trying to deny it for a while now, but it's time I confessed. I just drink far too much oil."

The other members of the meeting threw confused glances at each other; there was something not quite right about that guy.

Grievous, however, noticed nothing out of the ordinary at first. "Okay, that's great, that's what we're here for... hey, wait a minute! You're a droid! Get out!"

"Dammit," the droid sighed. Grievous ushered the disappointed droid to the door. Several of the Separatists took the opportunity to take swigs from bottles concealed in their cloaks.

Obi-Wan shook his head in disgust. "Alright, this has gone far enough!" He unhooked his lightsaber from his belt and removed his cloak. "Stay here, Qui-Gon the Second," Obi-Wan ordered, patting the lizard's neck; then, he leaped from the platform into the hangar below.

Grievous spun around as Obi-Wan landed on the durasteel floor. His eyes narrowed angrily, but he attempted to fix on a pleasant smile.

"So, Grievous, you're an alcoholic!" Obi-Wan called contemptuously. "I heard everything!"

"Yes, I am an alcoholic," Grievous conceded. "Would you like to join our little support group?"

"Ha! I seriously doubt that a psycho like you could help me to deal with my alcohol addiction."

Grievous' pleasant demeanour slipped. "Hey, shut up! Well, now that you know my terrible secret, I am going to have to kill you. And just so you know, I don't really want to. I'm quite a nice guy actually, if you took the time to get to know me-"

There was an ominous cracking noise from above; Grievous paused and looked up, just in time to see a large brick falling towards him. The brick slammed into his head, knocking him unconscious. The worker who was responsible for this accident looked down guiltily. No chance of that promotion now, then, he thought sadly, as he went to collect his belongings.

Obi-Wan poked Grievous a few times with his foot, just to make certain that he was completely unconscious. Once he was sure, he rifled through the cyborg's pockets, pulling out anything valuable: his lightsabers, his wallet, and a large bottle of vodka.

Just as Obi-Wan was laughing at Grievous' driver's license photo, the cyborg began to come around. Obi-Wan quickly hid the license behind his back.

"Woah," Grievous moaned, sitting up and rubbing his aching head. "What happened?"

"You had a brick dropped on your head," Obi-Wan informed him.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" asked Grievous, squinting up at the Jedi. "Wait... who am I?"

Obi-Wan stared incredulously at his enemy. "I'm Obi-Wan. And you're General Grievous; you know, as in grievous bodily harm."

"That doesn't sound very nice," Grievous remarked. "If I was like that before I had that brick dropped on my head, maybe I don't want my memory back. I think I'll go back to my home planet and become a kindergarten teacher... what is my home planet?"

"Kalee," Obi-Wan told him. "So, you want to be a kindergarten teacher? Well, your fellow Sith Lords will be pleased." Obi-Wan chuckled, shaking his head.

"What's a Sith Lord?"

"Oh, no-one important," Obi-Wan said calmly.

Grievous lurched unsteadily to his feet. "Well, I'd better get going, then. Bye, Oliver!"

"It's Obi-Wan!"

General Grievous waved cheerfully and continued walking towards his ship.

This day just keeps getting better and better, Obi-Wan thought, grinning. I have a new pet lizard called Qui-Gon the Second, and I just got rid of General Grievous without doing anything! Now all I need is a really great story about how I killed him...

He walked back to his reptilian transport, already planning an elaborate tale involving lasers, dramatic opera music and a spectacular speeder chase. Grievous was not so fortunate; five minutes after he and Obi-Wan parted ways, he was arrested for driving without a license.

Aww, poor Grievous. Sucks to be him. At least flames didn't shoot out of his eyes, though.

Question for this chapter: Which Jedi would you choose to be your Master if you were taken to the Temple? I would choose Mace, because I think he's awesome; also, I would get to carry a purple lightsaber, and use Vaapad. What do you guys think?