Holyhead Harpies

Chaser 2: Write a HUMOROUS story about DUMBLEDORE AND GRINDELWALD

2. (quote) 'Help me… I'm feeling!' - The Grinch, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

11. (song) 'I Won't Say I'm In Love' - Disney's Hercules Soundtrack

14. (creature) Acromantula

WC: 1274

"Albus, how is this supposed to help the Greater Good?" Gellert complained as they trudged through the woods. Albus shook his head, motioning for the other boy to stay quiet.

"Albus, come on—"

"You said we needed money, right?"

"Yea, but—"

"Well, this is the most legal way to get it. Elphias mentioned his dad was on a case about a group of acromantulas loose in the forest getting too close to the muggles. All we've got to do is kill the acromantulas, take some venom, and get out. The venom is very expensive and we'll be doing everyone a favor. Thus, the Greater Good."

Gellert sighed, scuffing the toe of his shoe in the dirt. "This is not what I had in mind when you said to free up my entire day," he said drily, and Albus blushed.

"We're earning money today. I'm not watching you blow gold on strippers like the last time."

"Fine. But you could've enjoyed it, too," Gellert muttered as they pushed on.

Albus squinted through the trees, lighting his wand with a silent Lumos. They were reaching the darkest part of the forest. They were sure to find the nest soon.

He heard a sharp crack! from behind and he spun, ready to shoot off a spell at the danger that lay behind him, but it was only Gellert. He'd stepped on a branch.

At least he had the decency to look slightly ashamed at his clumsiness.

"Sorry."

"Just be quiet and keep moving!" Albus hissed, turning back around. He was spotting webs in the trees, shining in his wand light. His feet ghosted over the leaves, his eyes looked everywhere. He'd see the spiders before they'd see him.

"Albus?"

"Not now, Gel!"

"Um, Albus?"

"Gellert! I said not now!" He didn't bother turning around.

"Albus!"

"What?!" He finally turned to glare at his friend.

"That." Albus glanced up. Above their heads was a gigantic acromantula, sitting on a thick web that spanned the space between several trees. All eight beady eyes glared down at them.

"Oh. Right."

"Who are you?" The spider's voice echoed through the clearing, the mere sound of it paralyzing them both with fear.

"We—We don't mean any harm!" Gellert called, raising his shaking hands in a gesture of peace.

"Only men who mean harm say that."

"Fair enough," Gellert muttered. He stepped back, motioning Albus forward. "You're the silver-tongue, my friend. Your turn."

Albus swallowed. "We're scholars. We heard tales of your greatness, but we wished to see it in person. And now we have. So, um, we'll be going now." He grabbed Gellert's hand and backed away.

"Not so fast. Did you not learn about our affinity for human flesh?"

"Run!" Albus yelled, and then it was chaos. All he could think of were spells to fire at the acromantulas surrounding them, and flashes of light lit up the clearing as Gellert did the same. His feet hit the ground hard, each impact sending shockwaves through his legs. His hand still gripped Gellert's, each young man pulling at the other as they ran.

"Albus, what's the safety plan?" Gellert yelled as he blasted an acromantula over his shoulder.

"Infringo! I don't have one!"

"What?!"

"I didn't think we'd need one!" Albus threw up a shield wall, slamming back a couple hundred acromantula as he did so. It wouldn't hold them long, but it would work for a bit.

"Can you apparate?"

"Of course I can apparate!"

"Then get us out of here!" Gellert yelled. The acromantula were almost on them, pincers nipping at their heels.

Albus cursed in his head. Of course. This wasn't Hogwarts, where he first encountered acromantulas. They were both full-fledged wizards; they could disapparate. Thinking hard of the Godric's Hollow apparation point, he spun on his feet and dragged Gellert into the darkness.

He felt his feet hit the ground and he tumbled from impact, Gellert's hand being yanked from his in the process.

"Ugghhh," Gellert groaned, and Albus scrambled to his feet, wand out. The night was clear and there was no danger to be seen.

"Next time, we do it my way," Gellert said as he sat up. "Whoa. Also, why is the world spinning?"

"Spinning? Gel, you ok?" Albus knelt beside his friend. "What's wrong?"

"Wow. Isn't the night just so bright?" Gellert said, grinning. "It's so beautiful."

"Gellert?"

"You're so beautiful. Have I told you that before?"

Albus froze. "You… you have not."

"Well, you are. But that doesn't mean anything. Of course, it doesn't mean anything," he said, frowning. "I won't say it."

"Say what, Gellert?"

"You can't make me say it! I won't say it!"

"Gellert, say what?"

"No chance!"

Albus hauled his friend to his feet, searching him for injuries.

"Why are you so close to me?"

"I'm checking for injuries, idiot. You're acting weird, and I want to make sure you didn't hit your head."

"It's not my head that needs checking out. It's my heart."

Albus paused. "Excuse me?"

"My heart. It hurts when you come near me. Almost like it's—it's aching or something. It felt like this the last time."

"Gellert, what are you on?!" Then he saw it. The three-inch gash on his arm that was purple at the edges and leaking a silvery-colored pus.

Acromantula venom.

"Merlin's pants," he muttered. "Gel, this is gonna sting. I have to siphon what venom I can from the wound. You're suffering from hallucinations from the venom."

"If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that."

"Really, mate, I think that's me. I'm the one who got you into that mess."

"No man is worth the aggravation."

"What?"

"It's ancient history, been there, done that!" he yelled, then grasped Albus's shoulders excitedly. "Albus! That's it!"

"That's what?"

"That's what I should write my song about! How I won't say I'm in love!"

Albus gripped his wand, grabbing his friend's arm and pushing the sleeve away from the wound. "I'd suggest you shut up before you start gabbing about some girl. I don't want to hear it, and you need my help." He muttered an incantation over Gellert's arm, smiling as white light enveloped the arm.

"Ah! Help me... I'm feeling!" Gellert clutched at his heart in agony

"Gel, I'm sorry! Where does it hurt?"

"My heart. I think it's feeling!"

"Oh, Gel. That's called love." He met his friend's eyes. "Whoever you're hallucinating about, you really love them, don't you?"

His friend's gaze dimmed as the venom slowly left his system, leaving Gellert blinking in confusion.

"Hallucinating? I wasn't seeing anything different. Everything was… brighter, somehow, but I was with you the entire time. You kept on telling me to admit that I loved you, and at first, I denied it, but then I realized that I do love you."

Albus sat back, frozen in shock. "You… You what? Did you just say…"

"That I loved you? Yea, I did."

"Oh."

"D'you… love me, too?"

Albus smiled, tightening his grip on his friend's hand and leaning closer. "I've loved you since the moment I met you," he whispered, pulling the other boy closer for a kiss.

Gellert tangled his hands in Albus' hair, deepening the kiss until neither could take it anymore and the break apart, gasping for breath.

"Well. That was… something."

"Yea."

"Next time, we're still doing it my way."

Albus chuckled, pulling Gellert to his feet. "Sure," he said, slipping his arm around the other boy's waist.

Gellert threw his arm around Albus' shoulders as they walked into town, leaning down and kissing his cheek every few steps. "Love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too."