Sorry for the errors and the disappearing act! A quick update before heading off to overtime in a few hours! Enjoy!

Clary's eyes were narrowed on her friends, an accusing finger jabbing in the air around them as she waved a stack of papers in her other hand. "What. The. Fuck. Are THESE?" she yelled, tossing the papers up so they rained around them like sheets of snow. Clary's steaming mug of coffee sat untouched on the counter after she'd sat down and seen her name plastered over legal papers from the Office of Robert Lightwood. Now, she contemplated throwing the boiling caffeine at her undermining friend. "You can't press charges if I don't file a report!"

"The fuck I can't," Isabelle growled, slamming her fist down against the countertop. Clary started at the sound, remembering how Sebastian's fists felt against her skin. Izzy didn't notice as her reddened face morphed into an expression of anger. "I'll report it myself."

Clary sneered after reeling back from her friend's contorted face. "You have no proof."

"I have photos of your bruises, Clary. I have a testimony." Clary gasped, feeling her privacy invaded. Isabelle had captured pictures of the hand-shaped bruises she'd worked so hard to conceal, to keep hidden from the world. "I'm bringing him to justice. With or without you," she added, almost as an afterthought.

As much as Clary hated Sebastian, she'd once loved him, couldn't bear to see his life end simply because he handled her a little roughly. "Sebastian doesn't deserve to go to prison because of this. He deserves a normal life."

"So did you, Clare. Those are four years you'll never get back. Four years you spent in silent hell because I was too dumb to notice the signs, too weak to fight." Isabelle sniffled dejectedly. Clary knew that feeling all too well. Inadequacy. She'd felt it nearly her whole life, whether from Sebastian or the bullies at school. She'd felt it in middle school when Eric Hillchurch rejected her invitation to the Sadie Hawkins dance, in high school when she didn't make the cheerleading squad, in college when her professor singled her out and gave her failing grades. Her whole life had been a series of shortcomings, and it hurt her to see her friends feeling that way because of her relationship.

"You can't blame yourself, Izzy. He's out of my life. I've moved on. He can't hurt me."

"But he can hurt others now." Clary shook her head.

"Then let them file reports. I don't want that blood on my hands." Isabelle scrubbed her hands down her face, looking lost for words as Clary stood up and patted her shoulder. "If I change my mind, you'll be the first to know. But until then, give it a rest." The only response was a reluctant nod as Clary lifted her coffee to her lips, allowing the hot liquid to warm the ice in her veins. She called over her shoulder that she was spending the weekend with Jace as she grabbed her keys and slipped out the door.

X.O.X.O.X

"Clary, we have to go," he breathed against the skin on her neck, nipping gently with his teeth. Clary moaned lightly beneath him, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him closer by the front of his shirt. Their lips collided passionately, the beating of their hearts setting a rhythm as Jace took her in his arms, laying her gently on the bed as he hovered above her. "We really don't have time for this," he mumbled between kisses, though he sounded like he didn't really care.

Clary pulled her shirt over her head, revealing that she wasn't wearing a bra. Jace's appreciative face made her blush. "Do we have time now?" Her answer came in the form of a low growl in the back of his throat as he pounced on her, lips kissing any inch of skin within his reach. Her fingers found purchase in his blond locks as she dragged their lips together, hands working furiously to remove any barrier between them.

"Clary," Jace breathed as she hooked her heels around his back, grinding her core against him, eyelids slipping shut at the mere connection. "Look at me." The huskiness in his voice made her obey instantly, finding his golden orbs pure, open. She could read every emotion in them whereas they were usually swimming in the depths, close enough to tell they're there but too distant to decipher. Now, though, she saw his awe, his attraction, and his—"I love you," he whispered, dipping low to kiss the place where her neck met her shoulder. "I love you so much it scares me." His breath was shaky, washing over her as he kissed her other shoulder. "I was taught that to love is to destroy. "He shivered as Clary's fingers ran over the lessons carved in his skin. "But I'll be damned if I'm not enjoying the downfall."

He caught her mouth finally, angling her body so they could become one, devouring every gasp and whimper she released, rocking his hips against hers so roughly yet with so much care that she couldn't help but unravel around him again and again.

His molten eyes bore into her, melting straight to her soul as she fought against the crippling fear inside of her. Jace loved her. He wouldn't hurt her. It was safe to love him. She watched his face as it relaxed with pure ecstasy, missing the warmth of him above her as he rolled onto the bed beside her, intently studying her face as she panted to catch her breath.

She nearly came undone again as he brushed the backs of his fingers down her cheek, pressing a warm kiss to the pink skin. "I love you, Clary. More than anything." She smirked despite her insides turning to mush.

"More than snocross?" Jace didn't even miss a beat, his voice solemn and steady.

"More than snocross." She blew the curls from her face as she sat up, pulling the covers over her chest.

"Good thing I'll never make you choose." Jace smiled crookedly as he pulled his shirt over her head, helping her pull her arms through the sleeves.

"I'd choose you a million times over anyway." She tried to hide her blush as Jace snuggled up to her, making her forget about everything. His breathing was even, his heat seeping into her as she curled into his side.

A knock cut through the serenity, and Jace shot up. "Alec's here with the trailer." He cursed into the darkness as he knocked his knee against the wall, unfamiliar with the tight confines of the RV. With some hopping around, he successfully pulled his gym pants on and slipped from the room to talk to his brother. Meanwhile, Clary fell against the mound of pillows she'd brought, pulling the blankets up tightly around her chin.

Jace loved her.

Despite all the shit he'd been through, despite his horrendous past that he still struggled to share, he loved her.

X.O.X.O.X

Alec looked up from where he was readying Jace's sled, watching as Jace pulled on his TekVest, ignoring the appreciative looks of the women as they sauntered by. Smirking, Alec whistled to catch his brother's attention. "Huh?" Jace asked as he strapped his vest, shaking out his shoulders to make sure it fit properly.

"You found her." Jace's brows furrowed.

"Who?" Alec bit his lip, looking down as he made a few adjustments to the Polaris.

"The girl that gets you off like snocross." Jace couldn't contain his smile as he fiddled with the straps on his neck brace. Alec chuckled once, not knowing how right he was. In fact, that girl was slumbering in his bed in the RV. They'd both decided it was best if Sebastian not see her, that she only come out during his race and hop on his sled right after to keep her out of his view.

"I guess I did, man." Alec nodded in approval before slapping his brother's back.

"I'm happy for you." Jace smiled broadly and offhandedly said something about Alec being next. "I don't think I'll be finding my dream girl anytime soon." He dragged out the sentence, leaving it hanging with an ending that Jace had been thinking all along.

"It's cool, Alec. If you like men, then I really hope you find your dream man." Alec's head snapped up quickly, a hurried and startled you knew? escaping in a squeak. "Of course, you're my brother. I know everything about you."

"Izzy told you," he said lowly, almost hostile. Jace was quick to deny that.

"Despite my startling good looks, I happen to be very attentive and intelligent. I figured this one out on my own." Alec gave him an accusing look. "Come on, Alec. Nobody has three night exams a week. I knew you were secretly off with some lover."

"Ew, Jace, don't say lover around me like this is some smut novel."

"You know you would love to be in the Red Room of Pain with Christian Gr—" Alec had plugged his ears with his fingers and begun to sing loudly as he ran through the last of the pre-race diagnostics. Jace smirked and pulled on the rest of his gear, ready to be out on the track again.

X.O.X.O.X

"Fucking, Sebastian," Jace growled as he snatched an icepack from the freezer, pressing it to his already bruising shoulder as he sat on the couch. He'd won the race, but Sebastian had rammed directly into him, throwing him from his sled to land on his shoulder. It had been an uphill battle from there, but ultimately he came out on top, soaring across the finish line a whole fifteen seconds before Sebastian, quite a lead for someone who'd been dismounted from their sled. Still, he couldn't help but radiate with hatred when he tried to move his stiff shoulder. "I fucking hate that dude!" he hollered, throwing the lock on his RV, not feeling like dealing with a fight tonight. He'd ridden his Polaris directly into the trailer, already hooked to his Duramax and climbed into the RV as Alec drove away.

He looked up, catching Clary's terrified eyes as she hovered in the doorway, arms curled protectively around her middle as she contemplated what to do. He saw the battle inside her, the one she'd must have had many nights over with Sebastian. Offer her body to help reign in his anger at the cost of her own pain, or run and allow him to unleash his wrath on the entire world. "Come 'ere," he told her with a flick of his head, directing her to the sofa he'd sunk down onto.

He body was shaking as he wrapped his good arm around her, leaning in to press a loving kiss to her temple. He ran his fingers softly through her hair, marveling at the way the curls bounced back into place after he let go. She still shook with fear as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm, trying to spread warmth into her icy body. "You don't have to be afraid of me," he whispered gently, resting his chin atop her head as he pulled her to his chest, his icepack and injured shoulder forgotten. "I'm not like Sebastian. I don't need to hurt anyone to feel better." Clary sniffled. "I shouldn't have been yelling like a rotten two-year-old. I'm sorry," he apologized with the most sincerity he'd ever used, feeling her relax into his touch.

"I'm not scared of you, Jace. I'm just afraid that next time Sebastian will go too far." Jace kissed the crown of her head, running his fingers up her back. "He's relentless, Jace. He'll kill you."

"Then I'll just have to ride faster." Clary sighed gently, nuzzling her face into his chest and inhaling his scent. Motor oil, race fuel, and deodorant mingled to create the most intoxicating combination she'd ever experienced.

"I really shouldn't have lost my temper," he breathed again, laying them back so she was resting on his chest, his eyes looking up at her. "My father used to lose his temper all the time and look where that got him."

"I don't know, Jace," Clary whispered, trying not to sound probing but genuinely curious. "You've never told me about your past." Jace's eyes lingered on her lips as she spoke, and she waited painfully for his walls to come down, to shut her out of a part of his life so integrated in who he was, keeping secret his motivation for being a better person. But they didn't.

"My father hated his life. We were poor, and he hated the way people looked at him. So he became a conman, stealing the money of people that thought he could make them millionaires. He felt guilty for his actions, and for some, sick reason, he thought that he could purge his sins by abusing me, by beating me bloody, leaving me near death to purify his soul. He would always whip me while spouting words of the bible, saying that God gave his son to take away the sins of the world, so by giving God his son, he could rid himself of all his wrongdoings. But he could never go through with it. So night after endless night he'd drag me into the cellar, tied and gagged, and push me to the brink of death. And I fucking wanted him to finish it, to end all my suffering. I'd beg for my death, but he'd tell me how pitiful I was, that I couldn't be a sacrifice if I wanted my life to end." He rubbed his hands over his face. "I've never told anyone this before. Not the cops, not Social Services, not even the Lightwoods." Clary grabbed his hands, smoothing her thumb over his rough knuckles, silently communicating that this was safe, that his past could be shared without judgement or pity. A shaky breath signaled the continuation of his story, and Clary fell silent at his next words. "So one night, I decided it was the night. I didn't struggle as he pulled me down the stairs, didn't holler as the knife tore into my flesh, as the whip cracked like lightning in the darkness, but just as my vision began blurring at the edges, my mother came down, drunken and stumbling, asking why it was so quiet tonight."

Clary couldn't help herself as she interrupted. "Did she know what your father was doing to you all those nights? Did she let it happen without a care?" Jace's hard swallow told her the answer, the slow nod only affirming the obvious.

"She agreed with my father, that he needed to repent. She never loved me. She fell pregnant with me at sixteen. She saw me as the end of her life, and in a way, I was." He closed his eyes, his head sinking further into the pillows. "He killed her that night, stabbed her right in front of me before shoving me into the streets, leaving me bloody and battered to walk the nights. He was arrested the next day for murder and pyramid schemes, and I was forever branded the offspring of a crack addict and a criminal." The air was still as his story ended, his fingers toying with the ends of her hair as he waited for her to say something, anything, but the words wouldn't come. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to see me that way. I'm not some helpless ten-year-old boy anymore."

Clary pushed herself up to look down at him more clearly, using her palm to cup his cheek. "No," she shook her head. "You are not a boy anymore. You are a strong man with a kind heart and a clear conscience. You are not your mother or your father. You are a man that found love even when adversity trained him to fear it, a man that opens his heart to his family and his friends, ready to help at a moment's notice. You are Jace Herondale, and you bring greatness to the name." Clary's curls brushed his face as she leaned over him. "You are the man who took all my broken pieces and glued them together. You make me feel safe and loved, and you are none of those things you fear you are." She kissed him then, tasting salty tears as the weight from his chest was lifted, leaving him raw and open but free. She kissed him until all the words she'd said were turned into touches and caresses. She whispered her love for him as the air around them turned black, as the rustling of people outside slowed, and it was just the two of them in a little bubble. And then she kissed him some more.

X.O.X.O.X

Sebastian glowered at Herondale's RV, watching it rock lightly with whatever was going on inside. He'd already tried to yank the door open, but to no avail, he had to leave before getting frostbite. "Next time you'll land on your head," he growled as he turned away, pulling the nearest snow bunny into his trailer.

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All My Love,

~BallinBlonde21