Draco stood silently listening to the conversation between Granger and Finch-Fletchley, he had left the dungeon so he wouldn't have to answer her questions, but had been too intrigued about her perception of him to leave. He heard confusion in both of their voices and had almost laughed when Finch-Fletchley told Granger to be careful, as if she didn't know exactly who he was. Not long after that comment Draco heard masculine snores fill the dungeon, he risked a peek inside through the bars and saw light reflect off Grangers open eyes. He knew she would still be awake, her mind assessing what had just happened, trying to figure out his motives. He wished she wouldn't, he didn't want her thinking there was anything behind his actions, he didn't want her thinking about him.
Draco wasn't sure how long he stood there, a little while ago he heard her breathing get heavier and felt relieved that she was finally asleep, something in him had calmed knowing she wouldn't be thinking about him. Draco's calm was shattered when he heard voices close by, he had been here too long and now the others were back. He felt his heart begin to pound as the voices became louder, keeping as quiet as possible he crept down the corridor towards the secret staircase. When he was finally stood at the concealed entrance he pulled out his wand and sliced his palm open, smearing his blood across the wall in the shape of an M. Once completed he stepped hastily through the bricks and rested for a moment on the staircase, allowing his heart to stop racing. Chastising himself for his stupidity he began to climb the stairs, hoping that his Mother would be in her study, he needed her once again to bring him back to sanity. He stopped again at the top of the stairs and pressed his ear to the bricks, listening intently for any indication that his Mother had company. Hearing nothing he smeared his blood over the bricks and stepped into the room.
"Draco!" Narcissa exclaimed, "What on earth are you doing?" Narcissa stood and watched as her son crossed the room and dropped into the arm chair by the fire, as he sat he leaned forward and placed his head in his hands before mumbling.
"I've been so stupid," his body was trembling as his hands slipped into his hair, fisting at the roots with his knuckles turning white.
"Draco, what are you talking about?" Narcissa questioned, walking towards her son with concern etched into her face, "Talk to me, please." She begged, watching as his body tensed up, she reached out a hand to try and soothe her son before jumping back as Draco released a roar of frustration, jumping from his seat. As the arm chair hit the floor, Draco straightened and turned to look at his Mother.
"I'm sorry," he croaked, bending to correct the upturned chair "I went down there again, to the dungeons." Narcissa stood in a stunned silence, looking into her sons eyes before replying.
"Draco, sit down." As Draco sat again, Narcissa sat opposite him and extended her hand "Give me your hand," as Draco placed his hand in hers she cast a quick healing charm before turning to remove the blood now coating his face and hair. "Start from the beginning and tell me what happened, I thought you weren't going to go back there." As Draco relaxed back into the chair Narcissa gave her wand another wave and a tray of tea and sandwiches appeared, he leant forward quickly and stuffed one in his mouth.
"I was just wandering around," Draco spoke slowly "Like I always do. Trying to keep myself occupied. I was looking out over the grounds and started thinking about all of our trips away and how much of a brat I was. I never appreciated what you were doing for me. I always wanted to be back here with Lucius, afraid I was going to miss something or he'd be angry with me. I remembered the first time you'd taken me to Paris and how I'd demanded to come home, I've always regretted that. I was trying to figure out if we'd stayed in Paris, if Lucius would have lost interest in me. I would have been out of his reach for six whole weeks." Draco stood and made himself tea, also making one for his Mother before grabbing another sandwich and sitting again, he looked at his Mother expectantly.
Narcissa reached forward and took a sip of her tea "Thank you Draco," she said taking another sip of tea before returning it to the table and looking back at Draco. "Your Father is always interested in you Draco. You are his only son and you are the one who will carry on the Malfoy name. Everything Lucius was taught by his Father has been passed on to you and he expects you to pass it all on to your son one day."
"What if I don't want to?" Draco asked, "Do I get a choice in this?"
"Are you really asking that question Draco?" Narcissa replied "Surely by now you know what is expected from you? In a few short years, he will pick out a bride for you and you will be married to who he deems as worthy."
"Why?" Draco pleaded "Why does it have to be that way? I don't want to carry on his legacy. I don't want to burden a child with this surname, this expectation. How can I do that when I hate everything to do with it?"
Narcissa watched as her son slumped in his chair, she had never felt so helpless, she had spent her whole life trying to protect Draco from this. Hoping there would be some way out but nothing ever changed. "Draco," Narcissa said softly "Things might still change. You don't know what's going to happen. I promise you, if there is even the slightest opportunity for us to escape this, I will take it. I don't want you to be so unhappy but the opportunity has to be there."
"I know," Draco replied with defeat in his voice, he grabbed his tea and held the cup in his hand, allowing the heat to warm him.
"This doesn't explain how you ended up in the dungeons again Draco," Narcissa commented, watching her son over her tea cup.
"I just ended up there, one minute I was looking out the window, the next I was stood at the door to the dungeon, listening to them talk. I was trying to figure out who else was in there but I couldn't, so I threw the door open and walked in." Draco looked to his Mother expecting her to scold him but she just lifted her hand and indicated he should carry on talking. "Well, once I got in there I had no idea what to do, Granger told me to fuck off, so I just went back to being that prick from school and teased her. It was too easy, Finch-Fletchley got involved and told me to leave so I switched to him. Next thing I know, Granger slaps me then collapses on the floor! And then…"
"Draco, keep talking." Narcissa commanded, Draco let out a sigh and rose from his seat, he felt agitated and paced the room.
"Well, then I remembered what Goyle made her do that night, with her hand. I realised she'd slapped me with that hand so I healed it. Nix had tried that night with some cream or something but it can't have been strong enough. I healed her hand then put her back on the bed and left." The silence that followed Draco's confession was uncomfortable, he continued pacing around the study waiting for his Mother to say something, which she didn't.
"Mother," Draco begged "Please speak to me. I don't know why I keep doing this. It's driving me mad!"
Narcissa rose from her chair and approached Draco, he froze and watched as she drew closer, unsure what she was about to do. Narcissa reached for Draco and pulled him into a bone crushing embrace, speaking quietly into his ear.
"You're trying to help, which is good, just don't get caught."
Draco pulled back from his Mother and looked at her "You're not mad?" he questioned.
Narcissa took a step back and laughed "Draco, I'm worried you'll get caught but no, I'm not mad. Just be careful, you don't want to draw any extra attention to yourself, not at the moment, you're still recovering yourself."
Draco exhaled a sigh of relief and grabbed a book from the shelf, before sinking back into his seat and finishing the sandwiches. He felt more relaxed now he had spoken with his Mother, whilst he wasn't entirely comfortable with what he had done or why, at least she wasn't mad. He watched as she too, picked up the book she had been reading and settled back down. They spent the rest of the afternoon in silence, which Draco enjoyed, he felt secure here in this room and it allowed him the breathing space he so desperately needed. After a while he found his eyes were no longer focused on the pages in front of him, but far off in the distance, he was imagining a place where he could feel this relaxed forever.