I couldn't open the door to my apartment quickly enough. Tears still spilled down my cheeks, and I wiped them away angrily, knowing Shane wasn't worth the tears. Breathing heavily, my legs burning from the long run, I pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and stood in the middle of the kitchen, feeling ashamed of my red, puffy eyes and stained cheeks.
Shane wasn't worth crying over, I reminded myself, irritated by the fact I couldn't stop myself from sobbing, when he'd said hurtful things to me every single day I'd been there. Why did it hurt so much today then? He'd never even been nice to me, so I shouldn't have cared so much about the words that had come out of his mouth when he'd only been throwing a tantrum because he got caught.
It didn't matter why he'd said it, I decided, it was the way he'd stared at me with those cold eyes that had said he wasn't even trying to hurt me, he was just stating what he believed to be a fact. That was what had hurt me the most.
And so here I was, standing in my small kitchen, tears running down my face, tired and exhausted and overly emotional, wishing if I had to cry, it could at least be about something that was important.
He hadn't really said anything that I didn't already know; I was just a 'common' girl, who had been living a boringly normal life before this entire disaster had happened. I wasn't talented, I didn't have overly good looks, I was just... Mitchie. Boring, plain Mitchie. I'd only had a few close friends in my life, and people hadn't exactly ever gone out of their way to be kind to me - if they even bothered to notice I existed at all. I was nothing in their eyes, not even important enough for them to make an effort.
Somehow, this only made me cry harder, even though I wouldn't have thought I had any tears left to come out.
A knock on the door made me jump, and immediately my thoughts flew to a certain dark haired pop star who'd randomly showed up at my house two days in a row, and if it was him, he could freeze to death out there in the cold for all I cared. He deserved it; I would not, under any circumstances, let him into this house after everything he'd just yelled at me. I heard a faint bark though, and my eyes widened as I ran to the door, my brain screaming in shock that I hadn't even noticed Aydan wasn't by my side. I couldn't have actually left him in my rush to get out of the Gray's house, could I? How had I not realized sooner?
I yanked the door open and Aydan ran into my outstretched arms, licking my face and wagging his tail. I pulled him closer to me and glanced up at one of the Gray boys I hadn't expected to see - Jason. He smiled down at me, letting go of Aydan's leash, and shoved his hands back into his coat pockets, reminding me of how cold it was outside. I opened the door farther and motioned him in.
"Come on in Jason, I don't want you to catch your death in this cold. Would you like some hot chocolate?" I asked, trying my best to pull my emotions back together.
"Yes, that sounds wonderful!" Jason beamed at me, and I turned to lead him back to the kitchen when he grabbed my arm, suddenly frowning. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I sniffed back my tears, hoping I could keep them from starting up again, "Let me make you that hot chocolate." He shook his head, his hand still on my arm, and I sighed.
"It can wait. Please, just tell me what's wrong." He must've overheard me screaming at Shane, surely, unless he'd still been busy innocently entertaining Aydan. "Does it have something to do with you running out of our house? Was it-" Oh no, please don't say his name, I couldn't stand to hear his name right now. "Shane?" I exhaled, staring back at Jason, wondering how I could still breathe with all my emotions whirling around inside of me, and still dumbfounded by how different the two brothers were from their sibling. I stifled a sob as Jason pulled me into a hug and sighed into my hair. What a stupid life, stupid job, and an even stupider boss.
"I don't get it, Jase. I really did try my best. I did blow up at him that night he came over, but... it was two in the morning, and he literally broke in! I'd only known him for almost a day at that point. And I did everything I could to make up for it, biting back all my complaints and letting him treat me like crap. I tried so hard, and he just kept blasting me, and I kept taking it, but he crossed a line today." I trailed off, my voice close to cracking, and Jason's arms tightened around me.
"I'm so stupid." I whispered to myself, closing my eyes and leaning into Jason's warm hug, letting his arms encircle my shoulder and the sob I'd been trying to hold back escaped from my throat.
"Mitchie, you are not stupid." I hadn't realized he'd overheard me, but he pulled away now to meet my eyes, a fierce look on his face. "You are anything but stupid! Why would you even think you are? Did Shane..." He paused, his eyes flashing, and I shook my head to answer his silent question. I may feel stupid because of what Shane had said, but he hadn't blatantly stated I was stupid.
"No, he didn't call me stupid." I replied, dropping my gaze as Jason reached over to wipe away the tears that had fallen down my cheek. "He's right though; I'm just some unimportant regular loser." Jason's hand dropped from my face and he stared back at me intensely.
"How can you even think that?" He gasped, "You're not like any other girl I've met - and that's a good thing. You're so kind and thoughtful, really the complete opposite of Shane." I cringed at his name, and Jason noticed right away. "You're so far from regular, and you are no loser! You're different, good different. Special, I mean." Special. I flinched at the word, for it was everything Shane had implied I wasn't. Yet here Jason was, telling me the exact opposite of what Shane had said, and he truly meant it. Tears welled up in my eyes again, but this time I was touched by Jason's kindness.
"I don't see myself that way." I admitted, "All my life, I've always been the plain one - never been the ambitious person, nor the pretty one, or the popular one - not that I ever wanted to be a part of any of that. God, I never wanted to be like those people. I never wanted to hurt others the way they'd hurt me. Do you know when I was in high school, I had a whole hate petition named after me? Some of the popular people decided to start one, and over half the school signed it. The 'We Hate Mitchie Torres' petition." I didn't mention how much it had hurt when they'd shoved it in my face, seeing all the people that had signed it, and some of them I had even considered to be my friend before the whole incident. It still gave me a tight feeling in my chest just thinking about it.
"What?" Jason snapped, his tone angry, and I glanced at him in surprise. If there was one person I'd never have expected to even be capable of anger, it was Jason Gray. Shane had enough inside of him that I'd figured he'd taken up all of it from the entire family. "They did what?" He sounded like he was at a total loss, and I shrugged, not wanting to think about it any longer. I was annoyed that it still hurt me after all these years, or that'd I'd ever even tried to fit in with those kinds of people.
"Don't worry about it, it happened years ago." I bit my lip, my thoughts returning to a much more recent incident. Somehow, I thought Shane had caused me more pain then all those other girls put together, but maybe the pain had dulled over the years. "How can you be so sweet and caring, and Shane be so different? He made me feel like I was nothing, and you've done just the opposite in the few minutes you've been here." I blinked, trying to erase the remaining tears from my eyes, and Jason offered me a small smile.
"Shane's shown plenty of attitude, so we've all decided he's got enough for the whole family. He wasn't always like that, you know, but he's changed. Don't let yourself change too, Mitchie." He advised softly, and I sighed. I wasn't sure which part of his sentence to focus on - the fact that he implied Shane had actually had a soul before or the fact he'd thought I would change who I was now too.
"I would never." I reassured him, knowing that was the truth. Despite all the people that had hurt me, it hadn't made me want to get revenge. I had decided there was enough cruel people in the world and it needed more kind ones, so I'd tried to help tip the scales whenever I could. That was why being around Shane had been so hard for me, because it had brought out the side of me I'd wanted to bury away. When I was around him, I had to hold myself back to keep from hurting him. "Thank you, Jase."
"There's no need to thank me." He replied instantly, staring down at me warmly. "I'll always be here for you, well, at least when I am actually here, and not on tour." He frowned at this, and I held back my desire to laugh. Jason was good at cheering me up, if I actually wanted to laugh after everything. "You two are my best friends!"
His comment would've been extreme if it had been coming from anyone else considering we'd known each other for a week, but it was him after all. Then his words actually registered in my head, and I frowned up at him.
"Two?" I asked, knowing he probably didn't mean Shane but unsure who else he could be talking about. Jason chuckled innocently at my question, but it was nothing like the arrogant way Shane had acted when I'd questioned him, and I was again grateful that it was Jason who had taken the time to come over and Shane hadn't decided to come throw anymore daggers my way.
"You and Aydan, of course!" I laughed at that, because I should've seen that answer coming, and Jason grinned at me.
"Thank you for bringing him back here." I said, glancing down at Aydan, who was currently lying at our feet. He stood as he saw me look at him, and I bent down to wrap my arms around his neck.
"I never did understand why you always growled at Shane, but now I get it." I whispered, and I heard Jason sigh.
"Here, why don't I make you some hot chocolate?" He offered, and I glanced up at him, grateful for his small attempts to cheer me up. How he could be so sweet, and wonderful, and build me back up after his brother had torn me down, I wasn't sure. I let go of Aydan and followed him into the kitchen, pulling the box out of my pantry as Jason heated up two cups of hot water, then stirred the packets into it and handed me the warm mug.
"Thank you, for everything." I said as I raised the steaming beverage to my lips and took a careful sip. It was delicious, of course, and just what I need right now - some extra sweetness in my life.
"Anytime, Mitch, you know that. If you ever need to talk, I'm just around the corner." I hoped Jason didn't notice how the smile slipped somewhat off my face, because I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd never be stopping by their house again, at least not while they were there. If Mrs. Gray still allowed me to keep my regular job, I would still work there because I needed the money, but I'd make sure that I'd have the house to myself before I went. I couldn't crush Jason though, not now, when I'd just managed to stop crying. If he left upset after he'd worked so hard to cheer me up, I'd never forgive myself. I kept my thoughts to myself and took another sip of the hot chocolate, watching Jason's happy expression, and finally feeling content as we sat in the silence, the sweet smell of our drinks filling my small apartment.