Well, here we go. This is the end.
The alarm on the bed side table went off, jarring me from a dreamless sleep. I sat up on the side of the bed, wiping sleep from my eyes. I got up, slowly, mechanically, putting my feet under me, the same as I did every day. I turned around, making Regina's bed exactly as I imagined she would have. Every day I followed the exact same routine. I changed, putting my dirty clothes neatly in Regina's basket. I washed my face using Regina's sink. I hung Regina's hand towel back up. As long as I had lived here, everything in this house was still Regina's. Everything in this room was still Regina's. I absentmindedly put my hand over my Mark, giving myself a moment, then I walked down the hall to make sure Henry was awake.
"Henry, you ready for school?" I asked, knocking on his door.
"Yeah. I'll be down in a minute." He shouted back. I could hear him rummaging around in his room. He was probably getting dressed, and when he was ready to go, he'd clean up as well, making his room as organized as it would have been if Regina had still been here. I walked down the stairs, passing through the entryway where my shoes remained by the door. Regina kept a spotless house, and I struggled to keep it that way. I went into the kitchen, taking out what was necessary to make Henry eggs and bacon for breakfast. I remembered the first time I'd tried to cook for him and had burned the eggs so bad I'd had to soak the pan for days. But it had been three months, and I'd learned to make most of Henry's favorites, including a substandard version of Regina's apple turnover. By the time Henry came downstairs I had his plate on the island, and I was calmly sipping a cup of coffee. "Hey mom." He hopped up onto his favorite chair, grabbing his fork and shoveling food into his mouth. "What are you doing today?"
"Same old, same old." Every time Henry asked the question, I always gave him the same answer. My day never changed. Henry finished eating, and he got into the squad car with me. I took him to school, dropping him off in front. "Have a nice day!" I yelled out the window as he ran into the building. I saw Snow watching me from the front door. She waved, a small cautious wave. I waved back, smiling for her benefit. I left the school, driving the squad car to the station. Aurora, who was working part time as my assistant, was already at the station, manning the desk.
"Emma," she nodded in acknowledgement.
"Hey Aurora." I smiled at her. "Where's Mulan?"
"She got in about ten minutes ago, and the first call came through. Pongo's lost, and Jiminy Cricket is losing his mind with worry. She went to help him look." She smiled a knowing smile. "We got a box of donuts. They're on your desk. We even got you some bear claws."
Aurora and Mulan were really adjusting well to life in Storybrooke. Aurora worked the desk, taking calls and managing small crises. Mulan, my deputy, worked the day shift with me. At night Charming took calls, so I could be with Henry when he needed me. If there was ever a real emergency that required the actual Sheriff, I would leave Henry with Snow overnight. That hadn't happened yet, but we all had a plan just in case. I hung my coat, going over to my desk and opening the box. I took a bear claw to eat with my coffee, sitting down and preparing myself for the day. Each and every day carried out much the same way. I would sit at this desk and fill out paperwork. I would check on Mayoral duties, such as town budget and other things like that. Until the election to replace Regina as Mayor was over, I had no choice but to make sure that the town continued to run smoothly. Rumplestiltskin often came in to help, at the urging of Belle, and I found his knowledge irreplaceable. I spent my days in this way, and every afternoon at three o'clock sharp I left the office and went to the hospital.
After school Snow often took Henry to Granny's where she could spend time with Red and he could order anything he wanted. I would get into my squad car, drive to the Game of Thorns flower shop, and buy a bouquet. It alternated every day. Sometimes I would buy roses, lilies, daisies. Anything he had fresh. And then I would drive to the hospital, walk up to the third floor, and let myself into a hospital room. I would take yesterday's flowers out of the vase and toss them in the garbage, replacing them with today's flowers and fresh water. Then I would sit in a chair next to the bed and hold Regina's hand.
"Hey." I said uneasy, just like I was every day. I smoothed back Regina's hair, all the while holding onto her hand for dear life. "Henry misses you. He doesn't say so, but he does. I can tell." I absentmindedly smoothed her sheets out over her legs. I rested my head on my elbow. "I wish you would wake up Regina. Henry isn't the only one who misses you. I miss you. I miss the way you used to make my life a living hell. I miss the way you'd put my mother in her place." I laughed. "Having a mother is a real pain in the ass sometimes." The moment of humor passed as quickly as it came. A nurse came in.
"Sheriff Swan." She nodded to me.
"Hey Amy. How're the kids?" She told me a long story about how her youngest son was finally beginning to grow, and her oldest wanted to take up boxing. When you spend every day in the hospital, you get to know the people around you. Amy moved around, Bending Regina's arm at the elbow, her legs at the knee. She stretched her muscles while keeping up a steady stream of conversation. The door to the room opened again.
"Sheriff? Can I speak to you? Privately?" Dr. Whale summoned me into the hallway. I followed him to the end of the hall where he had an office. "Please, sit down."
He sat in the chair behind the desk, and I took the uninviting plastic chair on the opposite side. "What is this about?" I asked.
"As you know, it's been three months. Today, as a matter of fact. And Regina has shown no signs of improvement. No signs on brain activity, no signs of waking up. Nothing."
"What are you saying?" I asked from the edge of my seat.
"Regina has no emergency contact. You and your son are the only people that ever come to visit her, so I thought you would be the person to bring this up to." He took a deep breath, as if he needed strength for whatever he was going to say next. "I think it might be time to consider other options."
"What do you mean, other options?" I demanded, rising from my chair and planting my palms on the desk.
"It might be time to let her go. She's breathing on her own, but that's all. She can't eat. She can't do anything for herself, and as of right now, she never will again."
"What are you saying Whale?"
"That keeping her alive is cruel and unusual at this point."
I turned away from him, slamming the door as I left his office. I ran down the hallway to Regina's room, which was empty. I pulled the blinds and crawled onto her bed, putting my arm around her stomach. I felt like a child, curling up in my mother's bed after a nightmare, but I didn't care about that at all. I grabbed Regina's hand, holding tightly to it. "I haven't given up on you." I whispered in her ear. "I know you'll come back to me, no matter how long it takes. I promise." I stayed with her for several hours, and when it started to get late I pulled myself together, wiping the tears I had tried not to cry in the first place. "Bye Regina. I'll be back tomorrow." I kissed her softly on the forehead, and walked quietly to the door. I looked once more at her before I closed the door and went home, preparing myself to spend another night pretending to be happy with Henry. I fed him dinner, tucked him in, and went to sleep in Regina's bed.
I was lost, trapped in a white world of nothingness. For hours at a time I could see nothing, could hear nothing. Occasionally I could hear Emma's voice. But tonight it was different, clearer somehow. "I haven't given up on you. I know you'll come back to me, no matter how long it takes. I promise." I looked around, still seeing nothing, but trying to get my bearings. "Bye Regina. I'll be back tomorrow." I tried to call out, but I couldn't make any sound. I only managed to control my thoughts. Don't leave Emma. Don't let me go. Here I am.
And when I said this is the end, I meant be patient and wait for the sequel, which is tentatively called, 'Here I Am.'