The Bachelor
Disclaimer: I don't own LWD or the other things that inspired me which are all noted at the end!
AN: ...Enjoy? At least try to!
The Bachelor:
Chapter 11
Allie had left about two hours ago and Casey still hadn't opened the letter. She held it in her hands, examining it from every possible angle without opening it. She inspected it as if it were a bomb that might explode under the wrong touch. She had put it in the light, trying to see what its contents were. But none of it really made a difference. She knew it wouldn't, but yet she continued to avoid opening it.
She wasn't sure why she was so scared. But the thought of just what could be inside that small white envelop terrified her… Until her curiosity got the best of her. She slipped her finger under the flap, pulling the envelop open.
She allowed herself to memorize the content's written on that single piece of paper. It was simple, clear as day, but every time she read it, her anger burned just a bit more. After she had the letter memorized word for word she stuffed it back into the envelope and made her way out. It was time to pay Derek Venturi a little visit.
She found herself at his apartment door in a matter of minutes. Getting there was a blur. Sure she may have broken a few laws on the road, but even she found it was under an acceptable circumstance to do so. What was Derek thinking? This wasn't the kind of conversation they could have on the phone, no it had to be in person. So she did whatever she had to do to get there, and if she did get a ticket, he was surely paying for it.
Her small fist banged against his door violently. She didn't bother using the knocker; she wasn't in the mood to be civil and polite. She was upset. She didn't let herself process the information correctly. She was simply acting on autopilot where Derek Venturi wasn't allowed to do anything nice or sweet without having ulterior motives. And she would find out what they were, one way or another.
Eventually (which seemed like too long for Casey) the door swung open. He stood there on the other side, with a white towel wrapped around his neck. His hair was still dripping (what she hoped was) beads of water down his neck. His eyes sparkled with glee, his smile matching it perfectly. She almost wanted to continue surveying his body, but his voice cut her off. It brought her attention back to his lips. Those lips. And before the next spark of attraction could overwhelm her, she reminded herself of her previous anger. Her checks flushed instantly, and her mind went blank, clearing him out of her senses.
"Case!" He spoke enthusiastically with a wide smile, his voice clearly surprised by her. Normally he was a 'play it cool' kind of guy but not this time. He couldn't keep playing that. She was there, which is all he had been wanting for days now. He wasn't going to fight. He refused to. He was going to be civil, he was going to behave and talk to her. Break it down to her in a suitable manner. This time he wasn't going to blow it.
She pushed passed him instantly, not bothering with a greeting.
"What this?" She asked furiously flapping around that pesky white envelope in front of his face fiercely. Even though she was mad, she couldn't help but notice that this time his apartment was clean. That alone was distracting, she highly approved of such a change. She also noticed that he didn't seem to be in a funk any more. Allie must have kept her word; they hadn't seen each other…
"A star." He explained, unsure of where the confusion laid. It was pretty straight forward. A certificate of authenticity. Somewhere in the galaxy (Derek couldn't be bothered to remember where) laid a star named after a klutzy princess.
He took a seat on the edge of his recliner, keeping his elbows on his knees, hunched forward giving her all of his attention as he wondered where her anger was coming from.
She stood in front of him, in her classic battle stance (he couldn't help but find attractive.) "I'm aware." She spoke with that unmistakable attitude. She tilted her head to the side to get a better look at him. "Why are you naming a star after me?" She yelled throwing the envelope into his lap.
He chuckled a bit as he softly shook his head. He looked down at the envelope and easily fished out its contents. He reread them carefully. Nope, he still didn't understand what exactly he had done wrong. Not this time anyway. With a shrug he looked up at her again and explained, "I realized you're not the type of girl a guy gets flowers for." He finished, leaning back into his chair, pulling the lever and releasing the foot rest. He figured if she was going to yell at him, he might as well be comfortable.
"Why not?" She fought back as if he had just insulted her with the cruelest of words. In a way he did though. Classic Casey; always assuming things, driving herself to conclusions that really had no proof behind them. Why wasn't she that girl in his eyes? What did she lack? What was wrong with her?
He rolled his eyes. Typical. She would take that the wrong way. "You don't consider flowers a 'grand romantic gesture''' He explained, using air quotes. "Even if you did bother to think about what they meant." He mumbled looking away.
She ignored his last comment, not bothering to go into that. Not yet at least. "So, you named a star after me?" She asked, clarifying. She was still unsure how he went from flowers to stars. Was something getting lost in translation or was she simply not getting it?
"Wasn't that obvious?" He asked, just a little bit annoyed with her. Here he thought he had done right by her...that he had pulled the right move for the first time ever with her. But she was so damn stubborn she refused to believe he could be anything but the pain in the ass he usually was. He was almost offended by her disbelief.
"That's not how it works Derek," she sighed, defeated. This whole 'anger' thing was taking all the energy out of her. She fell onto his couch in a huff. Why couldn't he just understand?
He watched her carefully, unsure if she was going to get up and start yelling at him again. Once he thought it was safe he got up slowly, so she wasn't scared by his sudden movement (Discovery channel much?) He made his way towards her, sitting next her body which seemed to resemble an old raggedy doll. He took a lot out of her, didn't he? "Case," he whispered gently.
"Hmm?" she asked rolling her head to the right so she could look at him properly from his new spot next to her.
"I'm sorry." He said biting his bottom lip, looking down into her eyes.
"Do you know what you're apologizing for?" She asked, her voice suddenly raspy. The yelling had gotten to her. She wasn't as young as she use to be. Fighting with him wasn't as easy as before…just another harsh reminder that she was getting older. That her clock was ticking. Although, no one considered twenty-three old, Casey had a plan. And in this plan, by now she was supposed to be in a serious relationship with her soon-to-be-husband.
"For driving you crazy?" He shrugged with a lazy smile. He wasn't exactly sure how he had done it, but surely he had done something wrong which had put her in such a mood.
She shook her head softly. Nope, he clearly didn't get it. Well, that was just wonderful wasn't it? Either she explained it, or she let it go. Let it all go…
He let a small smirk escape him. "I meant every word I said that night Case," he told her genuinely.
And with that she made a move to get up, to leave. Let it all go. Clearly he hadn't learned from her silent treatment. He was back to blaming her for his troubles. Yeah, that was fun. He seemed to be a pro at mix signals. Why would he send her flowers, and name a god damn star after her if he blame her for ruining his life? He made no sense. And Casey, well she didn't think she deserved to be put through such a situation. Not anymore.
The second he saw her move a centimeter away from him, he panicked. His hands wrapped around her elbows and pulled her back down onto the couch, into his chest possessively. No, not again. This time, he was going to do it right.
"I love you." He explained in the purest way he knew how to explain it to her. With one arm around her middle, keeping her close to him, and the other cradling her face gently.
She gulped, her body falling limp against his. She had no will to fight against him. There was no way she could muster up the amount of energy that it took to get away. He had drained it out of her with those words. They had never sounded so real, so believable. And the way he was looking at her. God, it was like he was looking through her like a glass window. It terrified her and made her feel small.
"I mean it Princess." He added, sensing her fear. Her eyes went wide, her breathing had stopped. He could see the worry etched across her face easily.
And those were the words that broke the camel's back. Tears weld up in her eyes instantly and she started to cry. Derek was like a drug to her. An unstable substance that seemed to intensify every emotion she could ever feel. And although she liked to think she could quit, that she could stay away, go cold turkey, there would always be something that pulled her back to him. Even if it was a just the simple desire to fight, something else always lingered beneath the surface. Sometimes she could control it, but other times, like this, an overdose of that sugary sweet drug she craved so much… it was sure to kill her.
"Oh boy," he whispered to himself before pulling her up into his lap, both arms wrapping around her protectively. Her body curled up around him perfectly... like they were made for each other. "What did I do wrong this time?" He asked the sobbing girl.
"You. Love. Me." She spoke in between sobs. Her hands grabbed the towel that was still around his neck, pulling him down to her, as if it was physically possible. And why did he have to be shirtless? That was not helping her case. She buried her face into his bare chest, smelling his body washes on his skin, the smell making her dizzy. As if the crying wasn't having its own effect on her.
"Apparently." He shrugged against her. What else could it possibly be? It wasn't about the sex. Clearly they had both realized that. The only other explanation of that feeling had to be love. A kind of love he had never experienced. Not with Allie, not with anyone. Only with Casey. The ban of his existence. The girl who was his sworn enemy. The one girl he wasn't supposed to have. But the rules be damned. If she would let him in, he was going to have her in every way possible. Because he deserved it. And even if he didn't, he'd work every day until he was worthy. He had to at least try.
"I. Ruined. Your. Life." She managed to reply. Her sniffling, snot and tears cold against his chest. She knew it was disgusting but she was in no state of mind to be able to control her emotions. Not like this. Not so wrapped up in his arms, not when he had said those three words so sincerely to her. Not when she did finally believe him.
To be honest, he didn't even feel the tears and erm, other substances leaking from Casey's face. She was his only concern. Comforting her was his main priority. "Why do you say that?" He asked, pulling her into his body even tighter. She never ruined his life. He closed his eyes, relishing her warmth. Please let me do this right, he silently begged. Praying to whoever had any say over his faith.
"Because," she sniffled, her sobs starting to fade a bit. "Because of me, she left you. It's all my fault." She spoke, her lips quivering against his chest. She placed a kiss onto his bare skin, hoping somehow he'd forgive her for such a crime.
He took a moment to responded, because it sunk in. Accepting that Allie left him because of her meant she finally, finally believed him. She knew he was honest, he wasn't lying. She believed it. Now combine that overwhelming feeling with her lips against his chest, his heart started racing at the simple possibility that it would finally work out. "Hey, if you decided to be with me, we'll call it even," he joked, trying to remain cool. Because yes, he could be sweet and romantic, but he was still Derek. And a serious moment with him will always have a countdown. She knew that.
"It's not funny." She yelled, her palm slapping his bicep roughly.
"Right, right. Not funny." He nodded, clearing his throat. He had to fight against his animalistic nature that just wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless. But he knew he couldn't, not yet. They were getting somewhere and he couldn't ruin that moment. Not just yet. So he would try his best to keep himself in check.
"Allie came over today… She's going away. Traveling for a bit." She spoke softly, head still laying on his chest.
"Oh." He responded because the last thing he wanted to hear was Allie's name. But being his current physical state he couldn't help but let his mind wander… What if Casey and Allie mud wrestled for him? Now that would be epic.
"She asked me to do something while she's gone." Casey added.
"What's that?" he asked a bit worried. He hadn't spoken to Allie since that dreadful day. Which was a good thing. They had decided on a clean break. They weren't even going to bother with the 'Let's be friends' thing because they both knew it wouldn't work. It wasn't that easy. A clean break was the best for them.
"To be with you." Casey smiled. She liked the thought and it was slowly becoming more and more real. A reachable goal. It was possible. But would she let herself indulge in such a pleasure?
He felt her smile against his chest and couldn't help but smile as well, cheesy as it may be. "Well…are you going to follow through with her wishes?"
"I haven't decided yet." She teased.
"Understandable." He nodded.
A comfortable silence fell amongst the pair. And they were okay with it. Because they both needed a moment to catch up with what had happened.
"What are we doing Derek?" she whispered, biting her lip, scared of what his response may be. But she had to know. It needed to be clear. She couldn't go on wondering, assuming and such. That only led her to the wrong conclusions, and a lack of sleep.
"I don't know…" He admitted. "I mean you're not getting any younger Casey. We don't really have much time to waste." He added. Partly joking, partly not. They had wasted enough time going in circles. They shouldn't waste another minute.
"Der-ek!" She yelled, pulling away from him a bit only so see his face. She shifted against his body, swinging a leg underneath her body so she could wrap her legs around his torso and look at him more comfortably.
He smirked, enjoying this position a lot more. He gripped her hips hard, pulling her impossibly close to him, licking his lips. "I mean, we both know I will always look good. But, you know I don't think you'll look good in a wedding dress in a few years." He smirked, knowing he was going to riled her up exactly the way he wanted to.
"As if!" She yelled.
"True. I don't think you could get me in a church ever again." He admitted.
"A little traumatized?" She asked softly, running her fingers through his now damp hair. That was understandable after all.
"Just a bit." He muttered, eyes looking passed her, the conversation suddenly had gone somewhere he wasn't ready for.
"We could always have a small wedding, in our old backyard." She suggested. Just because a church was ruled out didn't mean she wasn't making him walk down the aisle. What type of women did he think she was? A women like Casey dreams about her wedding since she's a little girl, and a wedding she will get.
"Small, low key. No stress?" He asked, liking the idea.
"Sounds perfect." She smiled. And in a flash she pictured the whole thing. The backyard covered in white. Cute little wooden chairs set up in rows. A small intimate gathering with only their closest friends and family. A simple dress which clung to her curves elegantly. Her hair up in a classic up-do, nothing too extravagant. Maybe she could get him to release a few white doves in the end…
He brushed the remains of her tears off her cheeks gently, bringing her back to reality. "You do realize your planning our wedding, right?" He asked, unaware of the pictures that were flying around her mind.
She nodded knowing that's exactly what she was doing. No regrets either. Like he said, they didn't have time to waste, right?
"And you do realize I haven't proposed yet." He teased. He may have yet to do so, but he knew he would. He wasn't sure how he'd do it, nothing was good enough for that Princess, but he'd worry about that later. He needed to secure her status in his life now before anything else.
She rolled her eyes. Details, details. "Yeah." She breathed out. He would get around to it eventually. She wasn't too worried.
"And that there's no way I ever do it until you say it." He explained.
She looked at him confused for a moment. Until she said what? And then it hit her. "Nuh uh." She shook her head.
"Three words, Casey. Say it. Forget your pride." He begged. He had long forgotten his…at least in the safety of his apartment.
She shook her head and smiled. "Pride is all I have." She explained. She was there, wasn't that enough?
"You could have me." He bribed her, hoping he was worth her pride. She was clearly worth his…
She sighed heavily. "You've ruined me Derek Venturi." She spoke genuinely.
"Now, that's a bit harsh don't you think?" he asked. At least he wouldn't refer to it as 'ruined.'
"Well it's true. I was sane before you. Now I'm in between tears and anger. I've been feeling everything from hate to love. From love to lust. From lust to truth and it's just too much to handle." She admitted, looking down at their entangled bodies, no longer brave enough to look into his eyes. She always feared telling a man just how much power he had over her. Because she worried that the second he knew, he would abuse it and use it against her. So she refused to tell him what he wanted to hear. She blamed her parents' divorce for having trust issues. But maybe she just never got around to finding a guy worth trusting…
"Well, think about it this way. Who else could possibly cause half that reaction?" He offered, hoping she knew the answer to that question.
"No one." She admitted with a shy smile, looking up at him again. No one could ever possess a personality like Derek. She knew that.
"I'm the one Case." He told her, completely sure about it now.
She nodded, looking deep into his eyes, gnawing on her lower lip debating her options… She leaned into him hesitating a bit. She felt silly, like a school girl scared about her first kiss. She smiled at the thought before cupping his face.
"I love you too." She spoke before claiming his lips. Those lips. Because he was hers now. And she could kiss him without guilt, without worry, without uncertainty.
One hand was on the small of her back, pressing her closer to him whereas his other cradled her neck, keeping her lips against his, not giving her another moment of hesitation. He kissed her recklessly with every bit of passion he had in him. His hands, having a mind of their own, started playing with the hem of her t-shirt. But as tempting as that may be eventually they required oxygen, and they pulled apart, only a few centimeters, but even that was way too much.
The brief interruption gave him time to think clearly. And he came to a sad conclusion. "Let's take this slow." He suggested, catching his breath. It's not that he didn't want to, because believe me, he did. He just didn't want it to be a moment of lust. He wanted to prove to her that it was more…so much more. And even though it wouldn't be the first time between the pair, he could wait. And for her, he'd wait as long as needed.
"Okay." She replied with a nod. Surprisingly she wasn't fighting him. She was accepting, pulling away from a bit, trying to fight the temptation in front of her.
"Okay?" he asked surprised. He had to make sure she was okay with it. He had to make sure they were on the same page, for once.
"We'll take it slow." She approved. But taking it slow included her mentally planning their wedding. It may not happen anytime soon, but when it did, she would be ready. Because the only way she and Derek could make things between them work was if forever was in the plan. If she was going to be with him, he was it. There was no going back.
AN:
Wow…okay. So, disclaimers galore!
This chapter had a lot of inspiration:
A Walk To Remember: The star. I was originally going to do a snapshot about it, but then I decided to use that for this, I really liked the idea.
"Pride is all I have." Is from Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J - "All I have".
Ed Sheeran's song, Kiss Me, for the line: " I've been feeling everything from hate to love. From love to lust. From lust to truth."
Gossip Girl (I'm sorry I don't know the episode) but the "Three words Casey. Say it." came from "Three words Chuck. Say it and I'm yours."
I know, I KNOW this took forever. Way too long. I had most of the dialogue written the week after I posted the last update. But the filling in everything else, that's always a bit harder. And well, as you can see this chapter was a bit longer than usual. It was also very emotional, and like I've said in prior AN's this story is based on emotions and the confusion between them (hence why the Ed Sheeran lyrics worked oh so perfectly.) So yeah…I hope I explained that well enough and it doesn't just seem like Casey is bi-polar.
There's just a short epilogue coming (hopefully soon, depending on my midterm line up… We'll see. I'll try my best!) But how do you feel about this chapter? Was it too rushed? Not enough Dasey… Tell me, tell me!
Ps. I love you.