The sound of the ripping paper cuts through the open space in front of them. Arthur fingers start to shake, but he relaxes a little when the warmth of Merlin's hand rests down on his own, and he glances up at Merlin again. How is it fair to have eyes like that, so blue, understanding, seeing right through Arthur despite all he does to shove his feelings far into the dark corners of his mind.
"I- I can't do it, you'll have to.." Merlin mutters, squeezing tight on Arthur's hand. This is it. But it doesn't matter, Arthur thinks to himself as he starts to shuffle the crisp folded paper out of it's envelope. It doesn't matter, things won't be that much different, Merlin told him, it's all going to be fine...sure, it'll be more complicated, but it'll be okay. Arthur tries desperately to reassure himself - but he still can't shake the terrifying feeling that, whatever is in that envelope is going to take Merlin away from him. No, he thinks. It doesn't matter. It doesn't.
Arthur grits his teeth, unfolds the paper and looks down at the results, eyes scanning the page frantically for the one word that will decide a certain amount of their future.
"Well? Oh, god...it's- it's me, isn't it?! Arthur? Is it me?" Merlin stammers, finger nails digging into the back of Arthur's hand more and more with Arthur's continued silence. His eyes carry on searching the page desperately, trying to make sense of the table of endless numbers but no certain sentences jump out and grab his attention. God, why does it have to look so complicated? He doesn't care about the science behind it all, couldn't the paper just read in, big, black, capital letters 'YOU'RE THE FATHER, DUMBASS' instead - that would have been easier. Arthur drops his eyes down the small paragraph under the table and finally something catches his gaze and seems to be the answer they've been waiting for.
"Hold on- I think...'the alleged father...' - yes, yes this is it, Merlin, listen-" Arthur raises his voice over Merlin's nonsensical rambling and starts to read out from the paper. "'The alleged father, Merlin Emrys, cannot be excluded as the biological father of the unborn child. B-based on..." Arthur's voice begins to crack, and its only when Merlin brings his other hand up to clasp tightly around Arthur's arm that he manages to summon the strength to continue.
"'Based on the genetic testing results,'" Arthur reads on. "'The probability of paternity- is 99.99%...when compared to an untested random man of the English population...' Merlin-" Arthur tears his blue eyes away from the paper and feels the entire world around grind to a halt as he latches on to Merlin's gaze. He can barely make sense of what he's just read out, and his brain is no nearer to deciphering the complicated numbers and results when Merlin is looking at him like that.
"Merlin..." Arthur hears himself say, voice still croaky, hands still holding tight onto Merlin's own, and he realises with a jolt that he can feel Merlin shaking too. "I- I don't know what that means, I can't think.."
Merlin gulps and reaches carefully for the paper, and Arthur regains the ability to breathe when Merlin finally breaks his intense gaze, focusing it down on the words in front of him instead. Arthur's head swirls, and he has the sudden urge to sit down - he doesn't think his weak knees can cope with being this close to Merlin and receiving life-alerting news in the same moment. He struggles with the information he's just taken in, waiting for his brain to catch up now that Merlin's brilliant blue eyes aren't zeroing in on him, eyes that definitely don't make Arthur's gut clench. The alleged father...99.99%...cannot be excluded...probability of paternity...what did it all mean?
"What-" Arthur finds himself barely able to ask. He stares back at Merlin, watching the thin shadows his long eyelashes cast drape over his cheekbones, which twitch slightly as Merlin's eyes scan the page. "What does it mean?" he manages to whisper out, a ghost of a breath passing over his lips and into the small space between them. Merlin flicks his gaze back up to Arthur, and the bland, boring corridor seems to fall away around them, and all Arthur can see is Merlin's face; two blue eyes staring back at him, pale skin almost luminous in the light, black hair curling round his ears, and god, Merlin is beautiful. And Arthur is completely screwed. Merlin doesn't say anything at first, mouth slightly open and he just continues to reduce Arthur's entire world to fuzzy molecules in his peripheral vision simply by looking at Arthur like that. Finally, he speaks.
"It means," he murmurs, still holding Arthur's gaze. "I am the father."
Fuck. Arthur's speechless. He can feel his heart pounding against his chest, in his ears, and it feels he's just plunged head first into cold water yet the startling blue of Merlin's eyes are the only things that are cutting through the blur. He blinks, clenching his fingers around something warm, and firm - then realising a few seconds later that it's Merlin's arm. The corridor comes back into focus, green plastic chairs and health posters, and he clutches tighter onto Merlin, the only real thing he could latch on to.
"Arthur," he hears Merlin mutter. "Arthur, say something..." It sends a piercing stab of something searing through Arthur's chest hearing the way Merlin's voice starts to break off, and he struggles to form a sentence, he needs to tell Merlin it's okay, it's okay, it's not as screwed up as he thinks it is, he doesn't need to worry anymore, he'll be there for him, he'll be there for him as much as he can but it's all Arthur can do to keep standing upright, so he just holds on tighter to Merlin. He coughs, and after realising his eyes are screwed tight he opens them blearily, then blinks and focuses his gaze back on Merlin, who seems much closer than he remembers. He takes in Merlin's face, stricken with worry, stunning eyes swimming and Arthur's bringing his hand up to cup Merlin's jaw gently before he realises it. He watches with curiosity as his own thumb strokes back and forth across Merlin's pale skin, amazed by how soft it feels under his calloused thumb and the way Merlin's eyes close and lean into his touch.
"Merlin..." Arthur murmurs, not sure what he's going to say but knowing he has to assure Merlin, assure himself, fix everything. He has to fix everything for Merlin, he has to; Arthur can't think of anyone that deserves it more. "Merlin, it's okay, you're okay, we're going to be okay..." Arthur leans his head forward to rest on Merlin's own, calming himself down listening to Merlin's steadying breaths, the feel of his chest rising and falling in front of him, while his fingers curl round Merlin's ears, playing with the tufts of raven hair he finds there. He jumps a little when he hears a small, shaky laugh bursting over Merlin's lips, and he pulls back to look Merlin straight in his eyes.
"I-I'm a father...!" Merlin whispers, voice increasing in pitch slightly, eyes lighting up as he stares back at the blond. Arthur feels the weight cascade off his shoulders, and a huge smile breaks out over his face. Merlin's happiness is infectious, and Arthur can't think of a more amazing sight. He inches forward even more, bringing his other hand up to rest on the opposite side of Merlin's face, his forearms pressed against Merlin's chest, and he whispers back Merlin's own words.
"You're a father." his voice chimes back, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, neither which sound particularly manly at the moment - so Arthur settles for simply soaking up Merlin, the feel of him under his fingers, the warm breath on his face, and that's when Arthur knows everything will be okay. It can't possibly not be, not when Merlin's here in front of him, solid and real and finally. Arthur lets his thumbs trace around the crinkles by Merlin's eyes, drawing invisible patterns along his jawline and down those impossible cheekbones. Oh, what the hell. He tilts Merlin's head down very gently, pressing a small but firm kiss to his forehead, hearing Merlin emit a tiny gasp as he did so. And when he locks eyes with Merlin once again, they seem somehow that little bit brighter.
"What are we going to do with you," Arthur mutters, smiling when he notices Merlin sliding his skinny arms round his waist, keeping him there. Not that Arthur's planning on going anywhere any time soon. Merlin's chuckle brushes into Arthur's neck as he rests his head fully on Arthur's shoulder, lips tickling the tanned skin as he spoke.
"I honestly have no clue. Oh god, Arthur...what am I going to do with a baby?" Merlin mumbled. Arthur feels his laugh vibrate through their embrace into Merlin's own body, and he wonders to himself if he'll ever want to be anything less than this close to Merlin after this. He stokes the hair at the back of Merlin's neck, relishing in the way he could feel Merlin shuddering at the small touch.
"I think you'll be just fine."
It's Merlin who pulls back slightly this time, fixing Arthur with one of his classic x-ray, piercing stares and Arthur suddenly feels so very exposed, which is insane, he reminds himself - this is Merlin. There's no one he trusts more, no one who's this much of an idiot yet still the wisest person he knows, no one else with those ridiculous ears, no one else who has that exact colour of iris, and Arthur doesn't think any colour will seem good enough anymore. Arthur forgets to breathe again when he notices Merlin's gaze flick down to Arthur's lips- it's a minuscule movement, but Arthur can't not notice it. His heart starts to thump even louder in his chest, and oh my god, this is Merlin, and Arthur doesn't quite know what's happening but it hardly matters when Merlin's leaning in and-
"Oh crap!" Fuck. Merlin jumps out of the tight embrace, leaving Arthur's arms feeling immediately empty and rather pointless now - to pull his mobile out of his pocket again. "I need to call Freya! I promised I'd call her as soon as we knew...hold on-" Arthur watches with a slight sinking feeling as Merlin fumbles to dial the right number, but he lets him, resorting to an old tactic of his; silently cursing Freya inside his head. But still, he can't stop smiling.
"Hey, Freya! Oh, god- calm down, woman...let me speak! Aha, well..." Merlin glances back at Arthur again, grin still plastered over his face, which certainly does not do strange things to Arthur's stomach. "Well, I just have to say it, don't I...I-I'm the father, Freya," he spoke firmly down the phone, eyes crinkling as he smiles at Arthur. They're going to be okay.
"I've got no idea, that's what I told Arthur..."
Arthur steps closer back to Merlin, reaching out to hold gently onto those long, pale fingers.
"Yeah, yeah...but if I drop the poor thing, I'm not saying I didn't warn you."
He hesitantly invades Merlin's personal space completely, smiling as he notices the piece of paper and it's envelope where they lay abandoned on the floor.
"Hey, hey- don't worry." Merlin brings other hand up to rest on the side of Arthur's face and smirks as he quotes Arthur's words down the phone to Freya. "I think you'll be just fine."
A/N: Please review! Thanks for all the reviews/follows/favourties, they make my day. :D