Author's Note: Dear faithful readers, I can't thank you enough for your support! We are now nearing the story's end. Who knows...there still may be a twist or two left. What I have planned for the end of this fic will be an important set-up, not only for future fics, but for the relationship between Jim, McCoy, and Spock, as well. I hope you enjoy the remaining few chapters! I greatly appreciate those reviews. They have helped me along the way. DLB48- thank you for the beta assistance!

"You love me?" Jim's face radiated a conflicted and mottled mix of emotions, shock and confusion at the forefront and happiness cradled by a fragile whisper.

Momentarily relieved, Carol realized she walked a fine line managing her own emotions. It was imperative to keep him grounded and focused on his recovery. With a sharp breath, she replied. "I do."

Out of the corner of her eye, Carol observed McCoy slipping into the other room, unnoticed by Jim.

"Why?" Jim asked, confusion still furrowing his brow.

She wiped her eyes, chiding herself for becoming emotional. Her tears wouldn't help either of them. He needed her to be strong and resolute, not fueling the confusion and desire to protect her. Jim's question rang in her ear. It was so like him that Carol almost smiled.

"Is the why so important? I know for sure that I do." She dared him.

He shrugged, still looking baffled at her pronouncement. How could he not realize how much he meant to her?

Jim stared at her with bright, trusting eyes. "I love you, too, Carol. You make me want to be a better man." Voice lowered, he continued. "One that is worthy of you.

Carol's heart stilled as she understood in that instant what he was saying. Jim had bared his soul to her in that brief statement, revealing another facet to this enigma called Jim Kirk. "Jim, are you saying that you don't feel worthy of any of us because of your past?" She questioned tentatively, sensing this was dangerous territory.

Jim's shoulders curved in resignation. "How could I?"

"All of us have regrets and mistakes, Jim. I don't want you to judge me by my father or my deceit in gaining access to this ship. In turn, I don't judge you by your past actions. I see you for who you are today and today I see a wonderful, kind, brave man who is hurting and needs help. I love you and want to be that help for you now just as you have helped me in the past."

Tears threatened to spill from Jim's eyes as he swallowed his response. His gaze fixed on the floor.

"Jim, please look at me." Carol wanted confirmation that her words had reached him but Jim merely shook his head, still hunched over with pain and fatigue.

Carol stood and laced her hands in his, lingering as if they had all the time in the world. She had no doubt McCoy paced impatiently in the other room, waiting for them. She ignored the urgency and contemplated the fragile man in front of her. Jim was a mere ghost of his former athletic self. His health had declined precipitously over the last few hours. Witnessing Jim's pitiful struggle to eat soup had been her first direct experience with a food disorder. She fought to contain her own fear while a part of her wondered how long he'd suffered in silence.

"I've been an idiot, haven't I?" He answered, not with confusion, but with a trust Carol would soon find defined their relationship from that moment on. In spite of everything, Jim put his faith in her response.

"No. That's not it, Jim."

"It's not?" Jim scowled, swiftly shifting his mood. "It is to me."

"Jim, I love you and will do anything I can to help you. Right now you're hurting in ways that I can't fix. Even Dr. McCoy cannot do anything more for you."

As his face darkened even more, Carol feared she'd gone too far.

"You're right. I've known it from the beginning but I'd hoped..." Jim expelled a breath. "Carol, I've done everything alone. I grew up alone. I lived with Frank alone. I survived on Tarsus without the help of anyone. I've lived my life ever since by myself but now I realize I can't do this alone anymore. I'll do it."

"Are you certain?"

Jim glanced down at their entwined hands and swayed ever so slightly. "Yes."

Carol wasn't a medical doctor but it wouldn't take one to see that Jim was barely holding it together. Jim may have just agreed to accept help but his body wasn't fully cooperating.

"Maybe you should rest first-" Carol broke off as Jim stared at a point behind her, eyes vacant and dull. "Jim?"

"Hmm?" Jim jerked his gaze back to her.

"I said, if you're tired..."

"I am tired, Carol," muttered Jim. "Tired of Kodos."

Carol's heart sank. Not Kodos, not now when they were so close. She desperately tried to keep him in her reality. "Jim, remember that you are not alone. Dr. McCoy and I are here and want to help. Let me help- what can I do?"

"I don't want to do the meld alone, Carol." He spoke with such caution, as if she were the one breaking and not him. As if she was the one enduring ultimate suffering and not him. Even in this painful time Jim's concern for others managed to shine through. "I mean, of course Spock...but I...think I need to know that someone would be there. I mean, I don't want you to leave. There...there will be some residual effects, Carol, so I don't thinking joining in on the meld would be the right thing to do...because of Kodos...Kodos."

"Jim?" Carol frowned, a warning ringing in the back of her mind as his voice faded away.

"What?" Jim blinked at her. "Oh...yes...maybe...You could stay...when he's here?"

She stared at him, overwhelmed that this man never seemed to cease surprising her. First he endeavored to hide everything about his past from her. Yet now, at his most vulnerable moment, he desired for her to remain by his side. Carol's heart twisted at the raw hope he held in his expression as he made his request. God help her, Jim Kirk wanted to share with her in an incredibly intimate way

Carol had heard the same stories about the captain that everyone else had. While she hadn't believed every one, the reality of meeting him did little to disprove them. However, seeing the raw hurt and need in his eyes forced her to rethink everything she thought she knew about Jim Kirk. Cocky? Yes, but to hide what he wanted to hide from the rest of the world. Reckless? Indeed, but a trait which emerged from his battle for survival.

Jim brought her within his carefully constructed walls today when he included her in his journey towards healing. Never before had she felt so loved.

Neither had she ever been so proud of someone in her entire life.

"James, I would be gl-"

Jim snatched his hands from hers. "Kodos," he muttered.

"James?"

He shook his head and turned, both hands shaking and running through his hair. "Kodos."

"Jim, look at me. Kodos isn't here. " Carol forced her voice to remain calm while her emotions ran wild. Jim couldn't slip away from her now. Her soothing words appeared to reach him so she pressed on. "It's only me- Carol. We're on the Enterprise."

"No." Jim shook his head vehemently. "I forgot. Kodos...I'm trying, but I can't stop..."

Taking her by the arm, he strode into his living space with Carol behind him struggling to keep up. Seeing McCoy, Jim paused only a fraction of a second before guiding them both before the doctor.

"Please," he rasped. "Take her."

He placed her hand on McCoy's. With motions guided by panic, Jim clenched his hands and stumbled away.

"Jimmy?" McCoy frowned. "What are you doing?

"Kodos...I think, Kodos. He's here. He will be. He can't find her. Keep her safe. All of them..."

"Kodos isn't..." McCoy hesitated, then nodded. "Jimmy, I'll keep her safe."

Jim couldn't have heard. Carol recognized the wild look in his eyes and the tense way he held himself, pacing before them. He'd gone to that unreachable place and now muttered his twisted trail of thought under his breath.

"Jimmy?" McCoy questioned him again, but Jim clearly had not heard. "Dammit, Jim. Not again."

"Dr. McCoy," Carol said quietly. "He agreed, before he began to ramble about Kodos."

"It's about time." McCoy muttered under his breath and grabbed his medic bag and immediately pulled out a hypo and several vials. "Spock needs to come now. Carol, can you try to keep Jim occupied while I contact Spock and fill him in on the situation? Jim has so many drugs in his system that I can't risk more than a simple anti-anxiety med, but that should help calm him down. He's stubborn, if you hadn't noticed. Dr. Marcus...thank you...If you hadn't-"

"No, please," Carol interrupted. She couldn't bear the thought of Jim's best friend breaking down in front of her. Watching Jim fall apart before her eyes was torture enough. "Please...just get Jim the help he needs."

Before it was too late.

McCoy lifted his comm. "McCoy to Spock."

McCoy's words caught Jim's attention. A flash of bewilderment crossed Jim's face, only to be quickly replaced by terror.

"Jim, Dr. McCoy is talking to Spock," Carol gently explained. "He's coming to help you."

"No. Kodos is coming. He told him." Jim's face paled. He grabbed her arm, jerking her to him. Jostled by the rough handling, Carol stumbled. Jim swiftly caught and enveloped her in his arms with more strength than she expected given the extent of his illness. Forcing herself not to react and upset him, she kept herself as still as possible while managing a few shallow breaths. His arms tightened so that she could not determine if he was trying to hurt her or protect her.

"Jimmy," McCoy said evenly, putting down his comm. "Spock is coming. He'll be here momentarily. Together we can help you."

"No. Kodos...He...could hurt her. He's coming," Jim's voice, though rough and cracked, was so believable it chilled Carol from head to toe. "He said he would. No matter how hard I try to get away, he always returns. This time, you told him. Back away!"

"I will." McCoy stepped back. "See? I'm moving away."

"Stay there," Jim ordered. "Don't come near her. You told Kodos."

"He wasn't the one I was talking to, Jimmy. Remember? Kodos is not here. Carol is safe, just as you are safe. I was talking to Spock, your first officer."

"No," Jim shook his head. "You're lying. Spock can't be-" Jim shut his mouth, momentarily loosening his grip on Carol. "Wait. You said Spock."

"Yes, that's right. I think you remember him." McCoy spoke with confidence. Jim's perplexed expression gave Carol hope that they could reach him before he lapsed again into his past. "Why don't we let Carol sit down while we wait for Spock? Okay, Jimmy?"

Jim's hold tightened again. Carol's chest constricted, she hardly found a way to continue breathing. "No. I have to..." Jim shook his head, as if clearing his mind. "I have to protect her, Bones. Right?"

McCoy softly encouraged him. "That's right, Jimmy. You will protect her, just as you always do but right now you can let her go. I'll stay right here until Spock comes."

"I don't trust you," Jim repeated, putting more distance between them and McCoy. They stopped beside the table. Stars splintered Carol's vision as Jim's hold tightened again. "I'll take care of...of...wait...who...Bones?"

"Yes, Jimmy," McCoy nodded. "It's me, Bones."

"But you...I...he's coming. He can't hurt Carol."

"He won't hurt her because you're here, protecting her."

"Like I always do," Jim muttered under his breath. "I have to."

"I know."

"But you lied," Jim whispered. "You told him where I was."

"No," McCoy shook his head. "I know you have to protect her. I wouldn't betray you. Neither would Spock."

"Jim, please," she cried.

"I can't let her go. No," Jim said firmly.

McCoy stepped forward. "Jimmy, that's fine but she's frightened."

"Stay where you are."

"I'm sorry." McCoy immediately stopped. "I'll stay where I am. Let go of Carol. She's scared, Jimmy, and I know you don't mean to do that."

"You want me to give her to you," Jim snarled. "You think I'm stupid? You'll hand her over to Kodos!"

"No, that's not what I want, Jimmy. Just let her stand behind you, okay? I'm staying right here, see?"

"I said. Don't. Move," Jim gritted.

"I won't. I promise."

Jim loosened his hands around her, pushing her behind him. She clung to his sweatshirt as the room spun. One of his arms encircled her, keeping her from falling. The other reached under his table.

Horrified, she watched Jim pull out a hidden phaser and point it directly at Dr. McCoy.

"Jim, no!"

"You're a traitor. Just like Memphis was," Jim's voice rose, urgency laden in each word. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt them this time."

"Jimmy, no one is going to hurt them. Spock and I only want to help you." McCoy's hand reached carefully behind him.

"Hands where I can see them," Jim's growled. "Now!"

"Okay, Jimmy." McCoy pulled his hands up. "Jim, sit down and think. We are your friends."

"No. You're lying," Jim said angrily. "No one can help me and no one is going to hurt her."

"James, please." Carol tugged at his arm. The situation was dire and could soon spiral out of control. In a matter of minutes, her captain had morphed into a dangerous and unpredictable adversary. "He's your friend. Bones. You call him Bones."

Jim's eyes flickered with brief recognition. "No. That can't be. This is Tarsus. Bones is not on Tarsus. He's on the Enterprise. Kodos is on Tarsus."

"Jimmy, set the phaser down."

"Bones?" Jim's face twisted in confusion. "What are we doing? Why are you..."

"You're confused, Jim. This is the Enterprise, not Tarsus. I'm your friend and doctor. Spock is your friend and first officer. Together we can help you, if you'd just let us-"

"No," Jim shook his head adamantly, eyes piercing the doctor with a rising fury. "You're trying to confuse me."

Carol watched helplessly as Jim raised a trembling arm and aimed his phaser directly at his friend's face.

"You betrayed me," Jim's voice teemed with anger. "The only thing left to do is eliminate the threat."

"No, Jim!" Carol cried. Jaw clenched, Jim continued to point the phaser at McCoy.

"Please, Jim," McCoy pleaded. "Think. Kodos is dead. Starfleet rescued you. You're not on Tarsus and I'm not a thre-"

"That threat," Jim interrupted and jerked his head towards the doctor, "is you."