I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.
Casey was trying to get her breathing under control as she stared at the door in front of her, but she might as well have tried to lift the Empire State Building with her pinky for all the good it did her. She finally managed to raise a shaky fist and knock on the door, praying the occupants opened it soon.
The pounding on her apartment door was loud enough to wake her neighbors. Otherwise Olivia probably would have ignored it. She had chased after two perps that day, and one of them had shot at her. Exhausted didn't even begin to describe how tired she was. Elliot slept like a log, so it was up to her to answer the door. She crawled out of bed and went to open the door. "Casey?"
Her teeth were chattering and she was shaking so badly she wasn't sure she could speak. She again tried to get her breathing under some semblance of control, and again failed miserably.
Knowing the signs of a panic attack, Olivia quickly ushered Casey inside and over to the couch. She had seen Casey having a panic attack only twice before, but this one was by far the worst. She had to get Casey calm. The woman would kill her if she had to take her to the hospital. "Okay, sweetie," she said gently, yet firmly. She took Casey's hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "Take slow, deep breaths. Breathe with me, Casey. One, two, three, and in. Hold it. Hold it. Now let it out slowly." They continued like this for almost half an hour, Olivia breathing with her the entire time, before Olivia was sure Casey was okay. "Are you okay if I go put a pot of water on for tea?" When Casey managed a weak nod, Olivia stood up. "Okay. I'll be right back."
"Okay," Casey said weakly.
As she was fixing the tea, Olivia looked out to the living room and frowned. She had a feeling something had brought on this panic attack. Sure, an attack could happen at any time, but Casey had told her that she had her attacks pretty much under control. This one was too sever to have just happened randomly.
"Here you go, honey," Olivia said, handing Casey a cup of tea.
"Thanks." She smiled as Olivia sat down next to her."I'm so sorry to just drop in like this. What time is it?"
Olivia took a sip of tea. "Almost four-thirty."
"Oh, fuck. Liv I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it. My alarm's set to go off at five anyway. Now I'm more worried about you. Did something happen yesterday?" Casey's lack of response was the only answer Olivia needed. "Talk to me, Case. What happened?"
Casey took a deep breath and stared at the cup in her hands. "Grace was pounding on my door the other night. I found her after taking Alex home. I'm surprised she didn't piss off any of my neighbors. She was really making way too much noise."
"So that's why you weren't at work."
"Yeah. I almost didn't go in yesterday either, but I had to be in court. And I had several mountains of paperwork that needed my attention."
"Wow. How did that go?"
Casey shrugged. "It was just opening arguments. The paperwork gave me a bit of a headache though."
"I meant with Grace."
"I know. It was...intense. She really read me the riot act. She was not very pleased with me."
Olivia smiled. "I imagine she wasn't. How long has it been since you've seen her?"
"Since I left for New York."
"Too long."
"Yeah. Too long. But she convinced me to go to mom and dad's for Thanksgiving."
"Seriously? Casey that's great!"
"And I asked Alex out on a date."
Olivia choked on her tea. "You what?"
"Asked Alex out on a date." She set her cup down on a coaster and took a deep breath. "After Grace left, I spent the entire next day thinking about pretty much everything. It was rough, but Grace was right. I moved here and took on this completely new person. I was a brand new Casey Novak, one who never went through everything I went through."
"She told you to stop running."
"Basically."
"And?"
"And I agreed to go to Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Then I asked Alex out."
"What did she say?"
"Nothing." Casey shook her head and laughed. "I waited all day for her to call, like some love-struck sixteen-year-old girl. Pathetic."
"She never called you back? That's not like her at all."
"Figures. I actually take a shot at dating for the first time in years and I don't even get a simple response."
"Hey, can I talk to you guys for a minute?" Alex asked, walking over to Olivia and Elliot's desks.
Elliot looked up from his paperwork and frowned. "You are in a world of trouble, Cabot."
"I know."
Olivia shook her head. "How could you just ignore her like that, Alex? I thought you were interested, but even if you weren't, you could have at least called her back. Instead, you just –"
"I didn't ignore her. I was at the hospital with an eight-year-old girl whose parents had just been killed in a car accident. She survived, but she was scared and didn't want me to leave. I didn't get Casey's message until late last night."
"Oh boy are you lucky," Elliot said with a grin. "I'm pretty sure Olivia had a manuscript ready to read you. And it wasn't going to be pleasant." He looked over to Olivia, then back to Alex. "She was pretty ticked off at you."
Olivia stood up, grabbed Alex's arm, and dragged her into one of the interrogation rooms. "Please tell me what you just said out there was the truth. You're not ignoring her, you just didn't get her message until late, right?"
Alex put her hands on Olivia's shoulders and met her eyes. "I swear I'm telling the truth. You know me, Liv. And you know how much I like her. I've told you how much I want to go out with her. You're the one who suggested I let her take the first step."
"And she did."
"She did. And I not only missed her call, but I didn't get her message until it was too late to call her back. I'm guessing, judging by how you and Elliot reacted when I walked in here this morning, she didn't handle it too well?"
Olivia shook her head. "No, she didn't. She's in her office though. You might want to go make things right with her. Don't give up too quickly. I'm pretty sure she's still quite interested in you."
"Yeah. Wish me luck?"
"Good luck."
Casey was so focused on the papers in front of her that she didn't even hear the first knock on the door. The second one was much louder, and she shook her head and looked up. "Come in."
Alex slowly opened the door and stuck her head in. "Hey," she said hesitantly before walking in and closing the door behind her. "I think the two of us should have a little talk, what do you say?"
"Sit," Casey said softly.
Alex sat down in the chair in front of Casey's desk and frowned. She had no idea how to even start this conversation, but she knew she had to make things right. "I...uh, I'm really sorry. I got a call at nine that morning about an eight-year-old girl who had just survived the car accident that killed her parents. She asked me to stay and I couldn't ignore her."
"You stayed in a hospital room all day?"
"Yeah. She was so scared. I couldn't leave her. I managed to convince her that her social worker was a nice lady and would help her get through the night, but then I promised to come back the next day – today. I had breakfast with her this morning."
"How is she?"
Alex shrugged. "She just lost both of her parents. She's got a broken leg, several fractured ribs, and is covered in cuts of bruises. The car flipped over three times." Alex took a deep breath and held it for several seconds. "She'll have to go into foster care, but I'm sure she'll find a family soon."
"Don't let her get lost in the system."
There was an urgency in Casey's voice that Alex had never heard before. "I won't. I've got her social worker's phone number and she's got mine. We'll be in constant contact."
"Good. That's good."
"Casey?"
"Yeah?"
"You okay?"
Casey forced a smile. Now was definitely not the time to get into her feelings on the foster care system. "I'm fine. I've just...seen way too many kids get lost in that system and I'd hate for it to happen to yet another kid."
Alex decided not to push the issue, despite the fact that she was now sure Casey was hiding something. "Well, how about I make up not returning your call by taking you out to lunch tomorrow. Do you have enough time?"
"I do, actually. I'll...I'll let you take me out to lunch on one condition."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"You let me take you out to lunch the following day."
Alex smiled and held out her hand. She was glad when Casey reached out and shook it. "I like that plan."
"Grace, I have no idea what to wear!" Casey said. She shook her head and threw more clothes out of her closet as she desperately tried to find something to wear on this date she was supposed having with Alex tomorrow.
"Where are the two of you going?" Grace asked. Casey had called her after meeting with Alex for lunch and had begged her to come over for dinner. She was more than happy to oblige. Spending time with Casey was the one thing she had hoped to accomplish during her week long trip to New York, and it appeared as though she was going to succeed.
"Just some little Mexican place. Alex assures me it's nothing too fancy." She paused for a moment, putting her hands on her hips. "Though 'not too nice' to Alex might be 'really fucking nice' to me. Shit! What am I supposed to wear?"
Grace shook her head and laughed as she made her way over to Casey's closet. She rummaged through the clothes first in the closet and then on the bed. "Here," she said, handing Casey a pair of black pants and a dark purple turtleneck. "Wear this. It's nice enough for a date, but not too over the top. Plus, you'll look absolutely gorgeous in it."
Casey thought for a minute, not really sure what to believe. She wanted so badly for this date to work out perfectly. "Yeah. I suppose that'll work."
"Casey, relax. It's dinner."
"It's the first date real date I've been on in several years."
"And you're going to have a great time."
"I hope so."
"I know so."
"You've never met the woman. How can you possibly know I'll have a good time?"
Grace shrugged. "I've just got a feeling."
"Well, I hope your feeling's right, because the only thing I feel right now is complete and utter fear."