I don't need a reason, this is not your fault
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know

Chapter 11

It was the right type of weather for the day. The rain hit the windows at a certain angle that, with the wind helping, it rammed against the windows, helping to fill their little corner with noise. Morgana knew that Merlin wanted to do more to celebrate Freya's life but she had asked for a simple funeral and no party, which was what Merlin had done.

She was grateful that she was trusted enough to be at the funeral. Whenever she was asked who she was, she would answer with Arthur's sister. If they asked her if she knew Freya, she would tell them not personally but she had heard many great things about her from Merlin, Arthur and Gwen.

There was a pub just down the road from the church and it had all been silently agreed that they were going to go there afterwards. Merlin ordered two drinks and knocked one back at the bar. Arthur and Gwen had given him enough worried looks for Morgana to join in. They were better friends to him.

It could have been totally and utter coincidence but as soon as the group of men came into the pub, Morgana knew that some sort of trouble would start. Even more so when she recognised one of them as her boyfriend. She was certain that he was going to let her know when he was coming down but she knew that Alvarr liked to play by his own rules. She finished the last part of her drink before asking if anyone else wanted one. She was slightly relieved when everyone groaned that they were alright.

She knew that there was no point in marching over to him. It would only draw attention to herself. She stopped at the bar just to the left of the group.

"Morgana?"

She turned towards him. "Alvarr? Why… When did you get to London?"

"Yesterday. Didn't you get my message?"

"Do you really think I would ask you that question or be surprised to see you if I knew that you were in London? Arthur's got us a flat."

"Is it one of daddy's?"

"It is one of Uther's. And before you ask, I have seen him, unfortunately. Luckily it was only briefly."

There was a way that Alvarr was looking that she knew his attention wasn't on her any more. She knew that the only thing behind her was the group that she was with. She would have regarded them as friends but they had changed so much and so had she. They weren't the same people they were back in secondary.

"Isn't that your ex?"

Merlin was slightly glad where he was sitting. He saw Alvarr enter and he saw Morgana talking to him. It was just another reminder that he couldn't have anything nice. The girl of his dreams disappeared and was dating someone new and the other girl that he loved had just been buried in the ground. Life was fair and he knew that it was only going to get worse.

"Who the hell is that?" Arthur asked.

"Alvarr, the boyfriend."

"Merlin, mate, you could say that with a little more spite," Gwaine said.

"I know. But after Morgana added me on Instagram, he tried to and sent me a message. I might have just gone through his photos and decided what type of guy he is."

"Morgana added you on Instagram."

"I knew before Arthur texted me. Well, I guess before Arthur text me."

"For heaven's sake Merlin," Arthur said.

"Look I was going to deal with this all in my own way. I know how to deal with this. I just didn't really think I would ever meet the guy."

It was if he heard Merlin's sentence as Alvarr started to walk towards them. He could tell that Morgana was trying to stop him but Merlin suspected that Alvarr did what Alvarr want to do.

"Merlin the wizard."

"Just Merlin will do. One would have to assume that you are Alvarr the rebel."

"What can I say? I can at least live up to mine."

"You haven't seen anything yet."

Merlin knew that he shouldn't be rising to Alvarr and that the only reason that Alvarr was talking to them was because Merlin told him that he was Morgana's ex. He could tell that Morgana didn't want this meeting to happen but it was. The sooner the better really.

"Cheer up. You all look so glum. Somebody died?"

There was no real rational reason as to why Merlin felt the need to stand up but he was glad that Alvarr took a little step backwards as the boys stood up with him. He could see Gwen shaking her head in his peripheral vision.

"Someone has. My girlfriend has just lost her year-long battle with cancer."

Merlin knew that it was just the grief but he really wished that he could just hit Alvarr. The way that he carried on smiling annoyed him and part of him just wanted a really good fight. The only problem was that he knew that Gwen and Morgana wouldn't like it and there was also the fact that Alvarr had his own group. There were no tellings what they might be carrying and he didn't really want to be barred from another pub due to fighting.

He watched as Morgana pulled on Alvarr's arm to get him to walk away from the group. He hoped that he would calm down. He couldn't be this angry all the time and he didn't know why he was angry. Was it because of the grief? Was it because he had now met Alvarr and he was real? Or was it because he knew that Morgana would never be his again? Or was it just because of what he had been asked to do?

There was one thing for sure. The over the top kiss that Alvarr gave Morgana was for no one else's benefit but his.