Chapter Eleven

Recording Studio

"I think you should go ahead and sing the whole chorus together." John, the music director, instructed us as we sang the chorus for the last time. A few days of intense practicing and two days of recording later we were one step from wrapping up the recording the new Friends' for Change duet.

"That sounded perfect, guys." The technicians and everybody around congratulated us as we stepped outside the booth.

I followed Miley as she stepped to the side to gather her belongings, stuffing them quickly in her bag.

"Hey, are you okay?" I questioned worriedly as I neared her, aware of her odd behaviour.

"I'm fine." Her gaze didn't lift to meet mine and I knew, I just knew there was something she wasn't telling me...

"Miley-"

"I gotta go." She started heading out through the same door the technicians had left through but I held her back by grasping onto her wrist. She winced noticeably and I instantly paled.

"Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." She reassured as she tugged on the sleeve of her long sleeved shirt, frowning every time her hand brushed over her wrist.

"No you're not..." I took a hold of her hand and gently rolled up the sleeve to check for an injury. She tried to take her hand away from mine but I held fast, my eyes widening at the sight of the bruise on her delicate skin. I definitely wasn't responsible for such a bruise... I hadn't tugged on her wrist that hard.

Her eyes shifted uncomfortably under my intense, questioning gaze. "It's nothing." She whispered as she tugged the sleeve back into place.

"What did he do?"

"How do you know it's him? I could have just bumped my arm or something."

"Miley." I gritted my teeth together, obviously displeased with her attempt at covering up the truth.

"He didn't mean to." She whispered brokenly and all traces of frustration left me.

"What happened?" I demanded softly as I sat her on the couch and took a seat on the carpet so I was looking up at her.

"It doesn't matter." She attempted to sit up but my quick reflexes settled her back down on the couch, arms on her thighs to keep her from escaping.

"Tell me." I growled, anger bubbling inside of me at the thought of somebody hurting her.

"He didn't mean to!" She whispered desperately, her eyes pleading with me. "I just- I didn't want to do something and he got upset... it wasn't his fault." She averted her eyes to keep herself from seeing the disappointment in my eyes.

"He crossed the line." I whispered harshly as I examined her bruised wrist. The colouring was greenish, but a faint line of purple rimed the spot.

"I deserved it."

"You deserved it?" I questioned in disbelief. "What could you have done to deserve your boyfriend to hurt you, Miley?" Her silence said more than she ever could but I needed to know. "Answer me." I growled.

"He wanted to take the next step." She whispered, her eyes focusing on anything but me. She swallowed hard.

"And...?" I pressed.

"And I wouldn't let him." She closed her eyes, letting a lone tear escape and roll down the side of her cheek. "I barely let him touch me... It's no wonder he got so pissed off."

"Miley, look at me." I pleaded, my voice becoming gentle as her pain mirrored onto me. "Mi." That got a reaction out of her.

"He told me I was leading him on... that I was all talk, no action."

I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from answering to that one and alluding to our past relationship. The Miley I knew was definitely not all talk no action...

"Don't let him push you around..."

"I'm not."

"Miley..."

"He- he's good for me."

"He was good for you until he decided you were more than just a girlfriend... you made him famous in the States. You made your relationship public so he could get some publicity... He owes you everything, Miley."

"And I owe him too."

"Love doesn't work like that and you know it." I stood up and began pacing, my feelings for her always seemed to resurface at the most unfortunate moments and I had no control over them. It was just so hard to pretend that she was only a friend, if I could even call her that.

"Then how does it work, Nick?" She was getting angry. "Tell me." She demanded. "Because it sure as hell doesn't resemble what we have done to each other over the years."

"I didn't use you." I reminded her.

"I'm not discussing my personal life with you." She retorted, jaw set tight in determination.

"He hurt you!"

"And he didn't mean to."

"Are you going to-" I swallowed the lump forming in my throat "sleep with him?"

"You are such a hypocrite." Her tone was icy and her eyes were blazing with anger. "He's my boyfriend! I can do whatever I want with him!"

"Then go! Do whatever you want with him but if you think that I'm going to watch you get hurt, you're deluding yourself."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her eyes narrowed.

"I'm done, okay? I can't watch while the person I love most in this world gets hurt by her own boyfriend!"

"Nick-"

"I know I was a coward and I know that I should have tried harder to make things right, and I will forever be sorry for that. But I can't do this." I lifted my arms up in the air. "I can't pretend like you're only a friend to me, I can't pretend that a knife doesn't cut through my chest every time you mention him or every time I see you with him."

"You're giving up." She accused. "You came back, you tried to get my friendship back and now what? You're just gonna leave?" The tears flowed freely down her cheeks and my heart ached at the sight of her hurting.

"I'll be here whenever the person I know, the person that I know is hidden away somewhere down there" I pointed to her heart, "comes back. When that person takes charge of her life and doesn't let her boyfriend rule her, give me a call."

"You are such an ass." I shrugged my shoulders.

"You're not happy, Miley. Everyone can see it but you... the sooner you see that, the sooner you will be better off." And with that, I was gone, leaving the studio before the rage building up in me took complete control over me. If I had it my way I would have been at his apartment, already, beating the crap out of him. I had never felt so much furry and anger towards someone but it was the feeling of helplessness that made my eyes prick with tears.

What I had done slowly sunk in and I was left with an excruciating pain in my chest. I pain I was causing myself... pain I couldn't blame anyone for but myself.

I had walked away from her, given up on her instead of putting my pride aside so I could take care of her, be there for her. I angrily blinked back the tears that were blurring my vision as I drove aimlessly around the city. I had no idea where I was going and the last thing I could think of was going home because all I wanted, if I allowed myself, was to go back to her and take back all that I had said.

It's for the better, I tried to convince myself. She needed a push to realise just how much it was wrong for her boyfriend to treat her the way he did. Although I didn't know much, I knew enough to know that it wasn't a healthy relationship that was making her happy...

......................

I had barely set foot into the house when I heard the clicking of heels against the hardwood floor nearing the entrance.

Demi? No. She usually took her heels off when she was in the house. Danielle? Maybe... Miley? Most likely.

My thoughts were confirmed when she finally made her appearance in front of me, arms crossed over her chest.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned as I averted my gaze from her to my shoes, which I was trying to rid myself of.

"Why did you have to do this? Huh? Why did you have to come back into my life and make a mess of it?" She finally burst.

"Mile-" I tried to quiet her down, in vain.

"Everything was fine, we were perfectly happy, I was happy. And you just waltz straight back into my life and make everything so confusing! Why couldn't you just stay away?" Her eyes were blazing with anger. I clamped a hand over her mouth to quiet her down and took a deep breath.

"I wanted to make things right..." I uncovered her mouth.

"Why didn't you do it back in June, then?" She accused. "Why? None of this would be happening if you had fixed things then!"

"I should have tried harder then..." I admitted with difficulty. "I'm sorry."

"You left me once. And the second time, you let me walk away with your virginity. Why didn't you run after me to fix things? To ease my guilt for taking something so important away from you. Something that you obviously didn't want me to have!" She took a deep breath and added in a whisper: "I don't call that love. You don't love me." She stressed the word 'don't'.

"You want to talk about guilt?" I raised my voice. "I betrayed you! W- we had sex. It was all out of lust! I hadn't even told you I was still in love with you! We were so lost in the moment and I felt so guilty... I felt like I had taken advantage of you!"

"No, Nick that's where you are wrong. We made love. Those three unspoken words were not needed because we felt it. We don't need words to know these things, Nicholas!"

"But-"

"You were right earlier. You are a coward and that's all you've ever been." Saying she was angry would have been an understatement. "We made love and instead of making it the start of us, it was the end! And you've only got yourself to blame." And with that, she was gone, slamming the door shut on her way out. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor as all kinds of thoughts and emotions made me dizzy.

She was right. She was always right... How I could I have been so stupid? Of course we had made love... the lack of 'I love yous' had not determined what we had done that night, but rather the emotions passing through our bodies as we did it, the sincerity and the depth of our feelings seen in our respective pair of eyes... The reason why that night had been so amazing and so sacred was because it was with her. I groaned loudly, slapping my forehead repeatedly as I realised how much of an idiot I had been to think I could do any less but make love to her.

"I'm such an idiot."

"That, my friend, I can't deny." I smiled sadly as Danielle, my beloved sister in law, sank to the floor beside me, lacing our hands together in a comforting gesture.

"I screwed up so bad, Dani." My eyes blurred and I blinked back the liquid that was starting to fill them, once again. I wouldn't cry, I promised myself.

"From what I heard, Miley pushed you away..." She sighed. "Kevin told me what happened, Nick." She squeezed my hand between hers and I simply stared at the jewel sparkling on her ring finger. My brother was such a lucky ass. I focused my attention back on what she was saying. "You need to give yourself more credit. You flew out to make things right and cancelled a show just for that... not many guys of your age would run after their girlfriend the way you did..."

"I-I just wanted to make things right..."

"And she didn't let you..." She sighed. "We all react differently to pain, Nick. Miley's first reaction is to push you away..." I nodded my head, agreeing with her. "Haven't you ever heard of this quote? Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." I smiled, remembering the quote my grandmother had once told me when I had been struggling with the diagnosis of my diabetes. "Break them down, Nick. She only wants you to prove how much she means to you..." I shook my head this time, disagreeing with what she had said.

"I tried. I tried getting through to her, I tried to make her confide in me but it somehow always becomes about us... and she hates me for what happened. Didn't you hear her, Dani? She wished I had never made contact again..."

"Didn't you hear her?" She countered, her eyebrows rising slightly. "She said you confused her... she said she was fine until you came back into her life and made things so confusing for her. You get to her, Nick."

"More than she'd like me too." I sighed.

"Oh Nicholas..." Her eyes were teasing. "You have so much to learn." She smiled. "The fact that you get to her is a good thing here. She cares for you, she cares about what you think..."

"I don't see how that's any good..."

"It means she will subconsciously listen to you... because in the end she doesn't want to disappoint you."

"Miley doesn't care about what anybody thinks..." I repeated stubbornly.

"That's where you are wrong." She lifted her finger knowingly. "She cares about what you think more than she cares about what anybody else thinks. That's why she's so upset at the moment..." Her words resonated in my head.

Just wanted to make things clear... Liam does NOT abuse Miley. He's just controlling and overbearing and happened to hold her a little too tightly one time. The whole point is to show that Nick is the complete opposite of him. He listens to whatever Miley has to say, respects her wishes, and respects her.

I hope this isn't too confusing, I'll try to explain things more clearly in the coming chapters and all :)