I didn't get many reviews for the last chapter but I got a few more followers. I had a tough time writing Jerza only because I was trying to keep true to their relationship and personalities when with each other. I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Lucy figured they walked a good distance away from where Jellal and Erza were. She wished Nadal would have left as well to give the two of them some time to properly talk alone, but that wasn't going to happen. After all this time the red-haired mage deserved a chance to get some of her feelings out and even if she said nothing at all about them, she certainly needed to see him again. Their last departure was rather abrupt.
At least the trip was worth it. They got some information on the magic keeping Loke on Earthland but with the newfound knowledge came some troubling news.
If he somehow ran out of magic then Loke would have to rely on hers. She had no problem with that, however her magic wouldn't be able to sustain him very long and then he would start fading away again. Lucy was determined not to let that happen a second time.
Logically, the lion spirit could easily manage about three years on Earth Land, yet with his power being blocked and drained that time would be decreasing even faster. Regarding his position as Head of the Zodiac, he could do things other spirits couldn't. So, even with little magic at his disposal, he should be capable of staying here for an extended amount of time with no problems.
Lucy was trying to figure it out in her head but was failing miserably. She had to trust that Loke would let her know if it ever got to the point where he needed to depend on her despite how much she knew it bother him.
"Lucy, if you wanted to be alone with me all you had to do was say so," Loke commended with a minor smile on his lips. He knew that wasn't the reason for leaving the way they had, but he couldn't resist toying with her. He watched her face turn red soon after he spoke. No matter what he could always expect the same reaction from her.
"That's not why we left…" Lucy said with an airy sigh. "I just wanted to give them some time to talk to each other." Traces of despondence followed her voice and materialized in the way she held herself. Arms crossed and eyes focused towards the ground.
He already knew what was causing her so much unease, but he wasn't sure if he should question her about it. Then again, what could be the harm? "You know, if you're worried about me disappearing, don't be. I trust that we'll be able to figure things out. Besides, I would never leave you. I promised to be by your side and protect you. Bonds of love makes spirits stronger, remember?"
She could call him out on the fact that they were not 'in love' with each other, but there was a form of it somewhere between them. Whether it was the kind of care that stems from friendship or the type of slowly forms into something more, to which she was still unsure about, it was there nonetheless.
"How could I forget?" she asked in a hushed tone. "Like I said before, I don't want to put you through that again. I saw what happens and this time I'm pretty sure yelling at the Spirit King wouldn't work. It's not like he's the one preventing you from going home." It was all her fault this time and the guilt of that was enough to make her heart ache. If only he hadn't come between her and that attack.
She wasn't acting like her normal happy self and that bothered him immensely. The spirit didn't know how many times he would have to tell her she wasn't the one to blame. Loke pressed his lips together for a moment. "I don't know if I ever told you this but back then, I wasn't afraid to disappear. I didn't have any attachments to people, although I cared about others I made sure to keep my distance. I wanted to vanish from this world so I could atone from my sin of killing Karen. But out of nowhere, I had a moment of weakness and reached out to you."
Lucy looked up at him at this point, yet she didn't interrupt him. In a way it was rare to hear him talk about this particular topic.
"As soon as I realized what I was doing, I pushed you away again. I couldn't get you involved, yet I wanted to tell you everything. It was strange at first until I realized the reason why. My feelings for you put a waver in my resolve and I couldn't let that happen. However, I still had to make things better between us. As you know, I still went to Karen's grave, ready to leave everything behind. But then your voice caught me. Despite my protest, you never gave up on saving me. You yelled and screamed until you got your way." Loke chuckled slightly at the memory before continuing.
"You were able to do change the Spirit Kings mind, which isn't easy, and because of that I was able to return to the Celestial World. Now I have a reason to keep me going and that reason is you. That's why I'm not going to give up on Levy or Freed and you shouldn't either. As long as you're here, I'm staying." For her sake, Loke would use his magic for as long as possible.
It took a moment for Lucy to render a response. It was hard to know what to say after hearing something like that, he never ceases to amaze her. "You seem so calm about all of this but I guess that's to be expected. Honestly, it's a scary thing to consider…" Lost of the right words to say, she trailed off.
The blonde picked up of the fact that Loke can say he has feelings for her effortlessly. The term love escaped his lips like it was part of everyday conversation while she couldn't even verbalize it without a stutter.
This time Loke couldn't think of something to say back. It was daunting in every aspect, but he couldn't let it get to him. It mattered more that Lucy was okay with everything, nevertheless he knew she'd never come anywhere near accepting that kind of fate. Perhaps that was a good thing though. It would keep their focus on figuring things out, even though all he wanted to center all his attention on was the young Heartfilia.
Aware that the discussion was causing her to become somewhat troubled, he decided to change it. "Is now a good time to tell me more about this Jellal guy? He seems to be a rather important person to Erza. If I didn't know better, I'd say she has feelings for him." He could tell just by the way they looked at each other they both did.
"Their relationship is complicated," she remarked. The mage turned her attention from him and leaned back against the wall. "On the other hand, I don't know everything about Jellal besides what Erza told me." Lucy suspected that not everything about the blue-haired wizard was spoken of though.
"Does she love him?" Loke asked after some thought. However, it wasn't something that needed to be pondered. The answer was quite simple.
"N-No, of course not," Lucy waved her hands ineffectually before she finally settled on placing them on her hips. He eyed her suspiciously after that kind reaction and she sighed. "I promised Erza I wouldn't talk about that. All I can say is she definitely cares about him. They met when they were children. Both forced to work on building the Tower of Heaven. They became friends easily. Something changed him around the time they fought back; attempting to escape and it lead to him taking over the construction. Jellal wanted to use Erza as a sacrifice to finish the R-system."
"That's why she was kidnapped?" Loke asked, receiving a nod.
"I believe he was trying to revive Zeref. I wasn't there the whole time, but Natsu defeated him and saved Erza. For the longest time we didn't know what happened to Jellal until he showed up during the Oracion Seis thing. He helped us defeat Nirvana but the Council still put him in jail for his previous crimes," Lucy further explained.
The spirit said nothing more on the subject, now understanding things a bit more. He took notice to Lucy's calm expression; she was no longer showing the look of distress, regardless he knew better than to judge outward appearances. Still, he thought it best to let her sift through her own thoughts. Once things settled down again and they were back in Magnolia Town, perhaps then she'd be more at ease about everything. Fairy Tail always gave off a comforting sensation, as they were all seen as family there.
Although Lucy wouldn't admit it, seeing that she could be quite obstinate at times, the blonde was thankful for Loke's company. She couldn't help but admire him for his ability to make things seem a whole lot better than they were.
Erza stood still, taking a second to get used to them being alone, regardless of Nadal of course. To see Jellal and even to be next to him again was something she didn't think would ever happen. Getting any words to come out seemed impossible at the moment.
Noticing her hesitation, Jellal decided to say something first. "It's been a while since we spoke; just the two of us I mean… how are you?"
"I've been good," she replied quite awkwardly. The red-haired woman considered asking him the same thing but after getting a better look at him, she could tell he wasn't faring all that well. She already knew that Nadal wasn't the kindest of guards. Seeing as he already threatened to use his staff on her and the others, she was sure he was hurting Jellal with it when he didn't comply. There was also the fact that he looked like he hadn't eaten in a long time. "I can pretty much guess that you don't get many visitors, especially for the reason you're here in the first place."
"You're the first actually." He paused before speaking again, debating whether or not to mention something. "You're probably wondering how much I can remember, right? I can recall some of the things that took place at the Tower of Heaven," he admitted with a small sigh. "What happened to the others? Wally, Sho, and Milliana?"
He couldn't bring up Simon, not after knowing how he felt about Erza and how Jellal was the reason her friend was dead. That blame was a burden he had to keep. It was a constant reminder of what was done in the past.
"They went traveling the world. Maybe they'll join a guild someday." A small smile came to her lips. She missed them terribly. "I'm guessing it's only bits and pieces of the past you can recollect, right?" He nodded his head but didn't give an actual reply. "I honestly don't know what to say… It seems like these are the only types of conversations we can have."
"When there's not enough time and too much to talk about," Jellal said, agreeing with her. He looked back at his childhood friend. Her smile was fading from her lips as he spoke. "After I was revived your name was the only thing I could remember. It took me a while to figure out why that was. I suppose the people who matter the most to you are the ones that can never truly forget."
As uncharacteristic as it was, Erza bit back on her lip prior to turning her head away. Without actually saying the words, he admitted how much he cares for her. She knew the level of her own feelings, but his were, in a way, always unspoken or hidden.
Truthfully, she wanted to believe she knew his feelings just as much he was aware of how she felt. Saying the definite word would be too difficult though. There were just too many things keeping them apart. But through it all, she never had it on her to hate him. Not even when he wanted to make her a sacrificial piece in his plan. Her heart just wouldn't allow that kind of emotion to take over.
Another instance of quietness circled them only for Jellal to break it with another enduring thought. "Do you remember what you told me after Nirvana was defeated? That time right before the Council came to take me away." She looked a little surprised at the question but bowed her head. "I hope after all this time those words you spoke that day are still true."
"They are," she replied with a faint blush coming to her cheeks. That simple line was enough to embarrass her a little bit. You will always and forever be in my heart. Without much thought she took a step closer to the wall separating them. They wished there wasn't a barrier splitting them from one another and yet nothing could be done about it.
She also promised him she'd always be there for him however that was something she could only partially keep. Erza knew that simple visits weren't allowed, particularly with high ranked criminals such as Jellal was considered. An exception was made this time, but they both knew there wouldn't be another.
"Jellal, there's something that I want to tell you," she confessed after taking a deep breath. This could be her last chance to let him know how she truly felt about him and despite the nervousness racking her body she wanted to say it. The armored wizard stopped and he looked at her questionably.
Bringing her head down a little, she placed her hand on the smooth blue surface of the wall and a moment later he did the same. A thin barrier blocked their hands from touching. Even something as simple as mere skin contact was prevented.
Her head may have been down, but Jellal knew what she was trying to avoid. He frowned faintly upon this. She would never allow tears to be seen in front of him, it would be too painful for her to permit. The blue-haired man said nothing back as he waited for her to continue. He knew she would try to finish eventually. She just needed time to recollect herself.
Erza looked up once again, meeting his eyes. "After all this time and after everything we've been through, you would think this would get easier." She laughed a little to herself and he lightly smirked at the notion. Her cheeks flushed again. "Jellal, I…"
Again her voice drifted, she couldn't bring herself to do it after all. People called her the great Titania, if only they could see her now. Having faced so many life threatening situations and obstacles, Erza could hardly comprehend the fact that her voice was caught in her throat.
"You don't have to say it if you can't," Jellal said. "I'm going to be in here for a while and if the Council had their way, I won't ever get to see the light of day again… Things are complicated. My dark past is never going to stop following me but you, you're in the light, always have been." Much to his own dismay, he drew his hand away and let it hang at his side.
She narrowed her gaze at him, watching how he couldn't bring himself to face her. "Why do you have to compare us to something so contrast as light and darkness? Besides, you're not-"
"I am and even though you don't want to believe it, it's true. Some of the things I've done can never be atoned for and maybe I don't deserve your forgiveness, much less anything else." He was being vague, but he knew that she would figure out what he meant.
"You're pushing me away and you're doing it intentionally," Erza stated. Part of her predicted the fact that he would. The reason was simple, it was so when she left it wouldn't hurt as much, but that was inevitable no matter what was said.
He quickly shook his head. "No, I'm telling you the truth…"
"You're a bad liar, you know that? That's something about you that never changed," she replied with a subtle breath. "You may have done unjustifiable things but I know you better than you think. Sitting in jail and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make things better. You killed Simon, I know you remember that because you couldn't look me in the eyes when you mentioned our friends. Despite what you think, he wouldn't want you dwelling on it."
There was a short pause of silence before Erza started talking again. "I didn't come here so we could make things worse or weird between us. I came to help a friend, on the other hand I also wanted to see you."
She had no idea how much he wished to see her as well. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that kind of thing up. You are right though. Simon, he was always kindhearted." He walked back up to the wall and caught her eye. "I assume that we don't have much time left so about what you were trying to say before... I know and I do too."
Erza stared at him for a second, feeling a minor ache in her chest. Still, a small smile was shared between them. Because of their relationship, that four letter word didn't need to be said for either of them to know. Not now but perhaps at some point it can be spoken freely without remorse of departure.
"Alright, times up," Nadal said, protesting any further discussion. "You and your friends have to leave now."
Swallowing hard, Erza nodded her head. She took another glance at him before forcing her feet to move.
"Maybe one day, we'll get to see each other again," Jellal said just as she faced him. He tried to sound hopeful yet lacked the conviction. Now just wasn't the right time for something to happen between them.
Erza promised herself that this wouldn't be the last time they met face to face. She drew her hand up and positioned it over her heart. "I hope that 'one day' will be soon. Goodbye, Jellal." He muttered his farewell to her as she walked away. Although it hurt to leave him again, she knew it was for the best. This time she wouldn't cry, instead she would wait for the day their paths crossed.
Jellal watched Erza disappear down the hall until she was completely gone from view. She walks in the light while he can't stray from the path of darkness predetermined for him. It was for that very reason they couldn't be together regardless of the love they obviously shared for one another.
The three of them were escorted out of the building and were on their way back to Magnolia Town. On the train ride back, Lucy managed to talk to Erza alone for a little while. She wasn't being very open with what they spoke about but the wizard reassured her that everything was fine. The blonde still offered to speak to her about it more at some other time, it took a while but eventually it was agreed upon.
When they got back and started walking down one of the main roads, it was nearly sunset. Lucy inwardly sighed, another day went by and despite the little bit of progress made, they weren't getting anywhere fast. "Now that we know all of this, we should probably inform Levy. Do you think she'd be at the guild at this hour?"
"Probably not. If anything, she went back to Fairy Hills. I'll take care of telling her what we found out. Since our rooms are relatively close, it's no problem," Erza said. "Tomorrow morning we can go over more of the details together. Besides, it's been a long day. I'm pretty tired out from all the travelling."
Lucy took notice to the way she spoke and acted. Erza looked as if something was constantly swarming around in her head, in fact most of the trip back she was glancing out the window with a rather pensive look on her face.
After they separated, the blonde realized that Loke hadn't said much. However, now that they were alone, he didn't waste any time saying something to her.
"Seeing as it's so late, why don't we stop and get something to eat? It doesn't have to be anywhere expensive." He wasn't specifically asking her out knowing she'd refuse the offer, but if he did it in a roundabout way perhaps she wouldn't notice. "You have to be hungry by now. I know I am. So what do you say?"
"You're just trying to trick me to go out with you by making it a suggestion," she said knowingly. "I think it would be better if we waited until we get back to my apartment. There's plenty of food there… unless Natsu and Happy ate it all again." She knew what he was attempting to do and despite the fact that she was starving, she felt that it wouldn't be right to do something like that.
Too bad her stomach had different plans. It made a loud growl after she finished voicing her option. Immediately embarrassed by the sound, she turned her head away from the spirit, missing the way he raised a brow in question.
"You really can't argue about not being hungry now," Loke said back. Taking advantage of her silence he continued speaking. "Going back to your place to make something will take too long and besides, I know someplace we can go that's not too far from here. If it makes you feel better, we don't have to consider it a date at all, although that would be disappointing on my end. I've been trying to ask you out for so long now."
In spite of her own feelings on the matter, she was caving into her hunger. "Okay, we can go somewhere to eat as long as it's not extremely fancy." With a smile, he started leading the way. Lucy questioned if this was really should be doing this right now. It wasn't technically a date so there was nothing to worry about. However, she couldn't hide the fact that she was nervous. But it was just dinner, what could go wrong?
I'm not sure if Jellal will be in my story anymore but he'll probably be mentioned again at some point. Since he's in jail it's kind of hard to do a lot with him. Next chapter will be back to focusing on Loke and Lucy more. Review and let me know what you think.