Fifty Shades of Secrets

Chapter Eleven: Fifty Shades of Mornings

Anastasia Steele,

For the first time since I'd given birth to Theodore, I slept soundly. I even woke up peacefully. As my eyes fluttered open, I was greeted by the morning sun bouncing off of Manhattan straight into the bedroom. I flipped on my side to avoid the sun and saw an empty yet rumbled side of the king bed.

Christian must have slept here with me…

I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes as I tried to fully wake myself up. I stood and sauntered towards the window. Theodore had been right to admire the view so enthusiastically last night. It was truly breathtaking, and it only made it harder to resist Christian's offer to move into this apartment.

How could I take his very expensive apartment when I felt so damn guilty just temporarily borrowing that Blackberry and Macbook? It was best for all of us for me to move here especially if I expected Christian to fly to New York every weekend. I needed to put aside my pride… Even if it did make me feel somewhat cheap.

I wondered vaguely which room this was. Christian never got around to his tour, so until Christian escorted me into this room, I hadn't even known of its existence. It was probably his room. Shit, what if it was his sub room? Maybe he brought them along on business strips. No, no, surely, he didn't. The thought saddened me and even made me jealous.

Did I even deserve to feel jealous? He had a very colorful life before me. He probably had one after me, too….

Not wanting to think about it any longer, I left the bedroom and did my best to navigate the unfamiliar penthouse. This place was massive. I should have paid more attention to the floorplan Andrea emailed me.

"Mommy!" Theodore's warm giggle finally oriented me, allowing me to let out a sigh of relief. I followed the voice and found myself in a sleek, state of the art living room with more space than most apartments.

Christian and Theodore were both sitting on one of the plush couches while one of Theodore's favorite cartoons played in the background. Theodore was playing with a few toy trains while Christian tried to play along, struggling without my assistance. He was getting along better than he thought he was though. Theodore absolutely adored him more than I ever let myself hope he would, and to my wonderful surprise, Christian was transforming into a father figure remarkably well and would only get better with time. He just needed to see that and not worry too much.

Theodore quickly abandoned his toys and toddled towards me, holding out his arms expectantly, and I happily picked him up, placing a kiss on his cheek as I walked towards Christian.

"Miss Steele, good morning. I trust you slept well," Christian smiled at me, standing gracefully, "Theodore and I were about to wake you. My kitchen is not currently stocked, and we were planning on ordering breakfast. I assume pancakes and bacon for you," Christian seemed somewhat nervous.

Was something up that I didn't know about? Shit, what happened while I was asleep? What if our admit-it-all-fight was all for nothing, putting us right back at square one? I squirmed a bit, struggling not to show my fear.

"You remembered," I laughed softly, "Granola and tea works just fine for me. Thank you, Christian," I slowly cocked an eyebrow, silently questioning his expression. Oh please just tell me before I come up with all of the worst possibilities.

"Are you sure you don't want more?" Christian urged, and I resisted rolling my eyes.

"Yes, Christian, I'm sure I don't want more. Thank you for the offer though," I began to rock Theodore in my arms.

Christian nodded his head, silently caving from his demands of me eating more. Surely, this meant we had come a long way after our fight last night. We were both willing to compromise now, allowing us to become a family for Theo. There were no more secrets between us or unspoken animosity. Everything was out in the open, and I had to admit that I had never felt so relaxed because of it.

Christian's cool exterior somewhat cracked as he awkwardly motioned towards Theodore, "What does Theodore typically have for breakfast? Are there any allergies, intolerances, or even behavioral side effects I should take into account?"

That's why he's nervous. He doesn't know what Theodore eats.

Once more, my heart broke. I was so used to taking care of Theodore that I forgot his life wasn't common knowledge. What else was Christian clueless about? Shit, we needed to talk about his schedule at some point today. Maybe I could write it all down or have Curtis create some little booklet. A nagging part of my subconscious reminded me that, if I hadn't been such a bitch for the last three years, Christian would already know this stuff. I shook off my guilt just enough to answer his question.

"No allergies, no intolerances," I tried to think of what I typically gave Theo for breakfast and came up blank. How do I not know this off hand? I'm the one who feeds him breakfast after all, "He eats cereal, fruit, waffles, that sort of thing," I bit my lower lip, looking down at Theodore, "What would you like for breakfast, Baby?" I deferred the decision to him, half-expecting something like chocolate donut sundaes.

"'rench toast," Theodore answered with a broad smile as he played with my hair, curling it around his tiny fingers.

Christian let out a relieved sigh and smiled softly, "French toast sounds perfect, Theodore. I'll have it delivered."

"Tell Daddy, 'Thank you,' Theodore," I reminded my son, and Theodore quickly expressed his gratitude in his usual adorable way, holding out his hands for him.

Oh shit, Theodore wants Christian to hold him.

This is too soon, far too soon. Christian didn't even let me touch him, but maybe after hugging him last night, Christian could handle this.

I stared at Christian who looked just as flabbergasted as me, and I did my best to read his expression as to whether or not he could/wanted to hold Theodore. I was just about to deter Theodore and suggest he go watch his cartoon when Christian held out his arms to pick Theodore up.

Okay, okay, he wants this. We can do this. Worst comes to worst, Christian panics and puts him down on the floor.

Timidly, I handed Theodore to Christian and watched with fear as Christian tried to appropriately handle Theodore in his arms.

Christian is a strong man. He can hold a baby. Stop freaking out, my subconscious glared at me, but the mommy deep inside was about to pass out. I relaxed as Christian and Theodore finally found a comfortable position, and after convincing myself that nobody was going to get hurt, my eyes shot to Christian's expression. I hoped he would be accepting and loving and relaxed, but he was scared. Of course, he's scared. He deserves to be.

"T'ank you," Theodore's voice was full of earnest love and innocence, and I was just as moved as Christian. This kid would never stop amazing me.

"You're very welcome, Teddy," Christian murmured, pressing a slow and very gentle kiss to Theodore's forehead, and for a perfect moment, Theodore wrapped his arms around his father's neck and hugged him. Tears were springing to my eyes by the time Theodore pulled away and motioned to the TV.

"Buggy!" he pointed, and Christian's eyes shot to mine.

"That's what he calls that cartoon character," I assured him, hoping it wasn't obvious that I was about to cry. Christian already caught me like that last night, "He wants to watch TV now, I think. Right, Theodore?"

Theo nodded and scurried off to the living room once Christian put him down.

"You're doing really well with him, you know," I whispered once Theodore was gone, and Christian looked back at me with youthful wonder, looking his own age.

"You think so? I don't know what I'm doing…" Christian raked his fingers through his hair.

"If it makes you feel better, I don't know either," I added, but Christian just shook his head.

"You don't count. You're so innocent and sweet. You were practically born to be a parent… I, on the other hand, was not," Christian murmured, and I opened my mouth for a rebuttal. But nothing came out… Instead, Christian just said, "So, how did you sleep? Obviously, the room can be renovated to your taste. The entire apartment can. I want you comfortable should you say yes to moving in," Christian stared at me as if asking for an immediate answer.

"Despite my pride… yes, I'll move in. It'd be easier for you and Theodore if we were here," I agreed hesitantly, and Christian's lips broke out in a stunning, panty-dropping grin that nearly blinded me. Even though I loved every last flaw in my apartment, I didn't regret leaving it as I watched Christian light up. He'd given up enough for me. It was time for me to start giving back to him.

Still silenced in amazement, Christian watched me, shaking his head, "Always a surprise, Miss Steele."

"I hope a pleasant one," I laughed, feeling surprisingly playful after seeing such a broad grin from such a solemn man.

"Usually," Christian winked- Holy fuck, winked? Is he playful, too? I would have said yes a long time ago if this would have happened.

Suddenly, I felt a surge of something I hadn't expected. I was hopeful for his proposition on the plane. I was hopeful that maybe we hadn't missed our chance and that we were just a few more dips and dives to the end of the rollercoaster where we could be happy together. The idea of being with Christian Grey in the capacity he offered me made me nearly giddy as it was suddenly an actual possibility.

I was snapped out of my pubescent daydreams by the chime of his blackberry, and just like that, we were back in the real world. Christian fished the device out of his pocket, and after momentary contemplation, he answered the call with an apologetic smile, "Ros?" he barked, walking away from me to an office near the kitchen.

When he was gone, I suddenly felt engulfed by all of this space. I got the smartphone out of the purse I'd left in the kitchen and opened Andrea's email about the apartment while sitting on the couch near Theodore. I hurriedly opened the floorplan and felt my eyes widen as I studied the specs for the first time. Christian's apartment was nearly five times the size of my current apartment. I could probably fit all of my stuff from my apartment into one guest room. What on earth would it feel like when it was just Theo and me here?

I didn't want to think about it, so instead, I began to look into the process of moving. After all, my personal assistant was technically off for the rest of the week, and it would do me good to distract myself.

Ding. Ding. "Mr. Grey?"

I jumped, staring one of the intense-looking tablets on the wall. Was that the intercom? Shit.

Before I could adequately freak out, Christian appeared from his office, curtly ending the call and pressing a few buttons on the tablet.

"It should be the lawyer," Christian explained, "He was supposed to arrive at eight thirty to begin the paperwork for Theodore's name to be changed. I hope you don't mind doing it now."

"No, of course not," I smiled softly, feeling a bit overwhelmed, "I'm very excited for our paint color."

Christian flashed a grin that calmed me once more, and I stood, deciding that I could quickly shower while Christian handled the legalities of changing Theodore's name. I would sign where I needed to, and we could all put this behind us.

"I'm going to take a shower," I explained sheepishly as I noticed Christian's confused stare.

"Of course. There are clothes for you in the second master closet."

Second master closet? In New York? My first apartment practically was a closet.

"Oh, thank you… Which room is the master?" I bit my lip.

"The one you slept in, of course. Your room now," Christian added, and relief spread through my body. It wasn't a sub room. It was his/now-my room, and I nearly beamed at the thought.

Christian Grey,

I stared at the name on the legal document sitting on my coffee table.

Theodore Raymond Steele Grey.

It sure as hell was a mouthful, but it fit. After a few more signatures, Theodore would be my precious paint color. Maybe I could call him that as some sort of pet name like I'd called my brother Lelliot. I would have liked a nickname like that. Anything would have been better than maggot.

I winced as I thought of Ella and our hellish time together. Don't go there, Grey, not now. Now is a happy time, I felt like screaming at myself, but I maintained my smile towards my middle-aged, highly accomplished and overpaid attorney, David Altman. Typically, personal matters such as this were reserved for my father, but this matter was far too delicate for my father to be involved. I'm sure he would have demanded I draft the paperwork to assume full custody as well.

"We're right on track, and with a bit of push, this should be out of your hair fairly soon, Mr. Grey. Your name carries a lot of weight," Altman nodded to me, "I just need a few more signatures from the mother, Miss… Steele, is it?"

"Yes, Anastasia Steele," I worried that I was heading towards small talk. I was hardly in the mood for it, and I found myself hoping that Anastasia would hurry along in the shower.

I wouldn't be waiting for her if I'd showered with her…

No, no. I can't think like that. I tried to distract myself by watching my son race toys along the plush carpet.

Before I could entirely block out the image of showering with Ana, she came down the hallway from the master bedroom and shot me a warm yet nervous smile. Was she overwhelmed? Of course she is. We've done a lot in the last few days. I should probably go easy on her for the rest of the day. Maybe we could just take Theodore to the park and grab lunch. Families did that, right?

"Ahh, Miss Steele," Altman stood, holding out his hand for a handshake, and his eyes looked dazzled as he stared at my Ana. I glared at him to back off, and I resisted the urge to kiss her in some display of dominance.

"Please, call me Ana. And you are?"

"I'm David Altman, the lawyer working on changing your son's name and paternity legally. I have a few papers for you to sign, Ana," Altman was grinning at Ana in the way he'd grinned at his last twenty-something wife, and I nearly growled.

"Of course," Anastasia sat beside me and listened attentively as Altman explained the papers sitting in front of him and what she needed to do with them.

She quickly skimmed the passages, and I couldn't help but whisper in her ear, "Oh, so now you read what you sign…"

Anastasia's cheeks flushed, undoubtedly thinking about the night she last signed something for me. That was certainly a nice, vanilla night. I never thought those two things would ever go together, but with her, they did.

With a flourish of her wrist, Anastasia signed the paperwork and leaned back to the sofa, looking over Altman's shoulder to Theodore playing on the rug. He was so incredibly happy. Is his temperament truly this peaceful? Well, obviously not after nightmares like that night… I hoped he hadn't inherited the tendency to have them from me. With luck, he'll grow out of it in time.

"So, that's it then?" I was eager to get Altman out and back to his young girl so he'd stop staring at mine. If he wasn't so discreet and dependable, I would have fired his ass the moment I noticed his eyes lowering past her face…

"Yes, I will be in touch. When will you next be in New York City, Mr. Grey?" Altman started to gather his paperwork.

"Next weekend," I answered curtly, and Altman looked up at me for a moment, undoubtedly thinking about how he didn't usually work on weekends. It was too fucking bad though. For his fees, he could just deal with it. If he didn't, it would be just as easy to have a lawyer in Seattle handle the proceedings.

"Of course, Mr. Grey. I'll get back to you with a progress report," he stood, outstretching his hand first to Anastasia who shook it in her typical friendly manner and then to me. I gave him one of the firmest handshakes of my life and tightened my jaw, and doing his best to hide the intimidation, he smiled at me, "It's been great working with you on this. May I call you Christian?"

No.

I didn't answer and let him come to his own conclusion as he saw himself out.

Anastasia glared at me, and I pretended not to know why. Of course, I was a jackass to him, but he deserved it for flirting with her.

"Breakfast should be here any moment. I ordered French Toast, your favorite tea- very weak-, bacon, and eggs. Does that suit?" I raised an eyebrow, silently daring her to bring it up, but as I'd learned before, my intimidation didn't work on her.

"Eventually, Theodore and I will have to go home. Our clothes are still there. You can't keep making us stay by offering food," Anastasia crossed her arms, mirroring my expression.

"I need to make sure you're eating," I insisted. Considering she had only given birth to Theodore two years ago, she was so thin. After she'd told me that she didn't eat after she left me, I'd been particularly worried about her eating habits.

"I'm not eating by a list of foods, you know. Theo isn't either."

"Even before I knew that there were two of you, last proposition didn't involve a list of food, Anastasia," I made sure to bring up the last proposition. She didn't answer before, and I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't know if it was still on the table. Hell, is it still on the table?

"Mommy," Theodore's voice interrupted us, and I looked down to see that he'd toddled all the way to us and was tugging on his mother's skirt, "Baff-room?" he whispered, and Anastasia laughed softly, picking him up.

"I'll show you where it is, Baby. If you'll excuse us, Christian," Anastasia smiled at me before carrying him back towards his bedroom.

As I watched the two of them go, I tried to process the idea that he was going to his bedroom in his new home. She'd actually agreed to move in. Maybe she wasn't as stubborn as I'd always thought…

I was forced away from my thoughts by my cell phone buzzing in my pocket. Ros. Again. Shit. She was already mad at me for not being as available as I promised I'd be in Puerto Rico, and I needed an update on our latest merger.

As soon as I accepted the phone call, I was thrown back into the world of business and back into Ros's anger. I opened my laptop to view a few documents she sent me. I was interrupted by my intercom, and knowing it was just breakfast, I hurriedly buzzed in the visitor and went back to work.

"Hey, there, Mr. Workaholic!" a familiar, boisterous voice made me choke on my coffee.

Oh fuck no.

My eyes shot back to the foyer where my baby sister was beaming at me with her best buddy Katherine Kavanaugh. No, no, no. They can't be here.

"I'll call you back," I murmured into the phone, hanging up before Ros could object, and I stood quickly, distracting them from seeing the toy trains in the corner, "What are you two doing here? Not that I don't love my little sister, of course, but I thought you were in Puerto Rico," I quickly hugged Mia.

Mia squeezed me and giggled with her typical excitement, "Thanks for the greeting, Big Brother. I missed you, too. Great to see you," Mia scolded me playfully as she pulled away, "I should be mad at you for being such a vacation-deserter, but I'm not this time. But, because you ditched me, you happened to help out Ana and spend a whole flight with her! Are there wedding bells in the future? There better be because she made you happier than I've ever seen you," Mia would have kept going if Kate hadn't luckily cut her off.

"Speaking of weddings, that's really why we're here. Anastasia lives in New York, and she needs to get her dress fitting. We were hoping you could use your stalker-magic to track her down," Kate interjected.

Stalker-magic? Is that what she thinks of me?

It's Kate. Of course it is.

"Plus, we were all going to get dinner tonight, and I wanted you to come. Maybe we could stay here," Mia suggested, and I felt my palm twitch.

Shit. What the fuck do I do?

I blinked, trying to calm myself.

"You could have called Miss Rhodes. She was close with Anastasia. She would know where she is without the use of stalker-magic," I suggested, not letting them in past the foyer.

"But then I couldn't set you two up," Mia looked at me like I was an idiot.

"How about you two get breakfast while I call around to try and find her?"

"We already ate," Kavanaugh was giving me the look that only caused trouble. She could tell something was wrong. Maybe, if I acted like more of a jackass, she would think I was being normal.

"I'm busy this morning. Ros needs me. We should meet up later. Lunch? Perhaps you could invite Miss Rhodes?" I felt like I was running out of time.

"Christian, do you not want me here?" Mia seemed genuinely hurt, and I nearly banged my head on the hall.

"Of course, I-" I began but was interrupted by the elevator doors opening to reveal room service finally arriving with my breakfast. Just in time for them to notice it…

A petite, nervous looking blonde stared up at the three of us with a timid smile, "Your breakfast, Mr. Grey. Where would you like me to set up?" she seemed to understand that her arrival was fucking things up, but I felt mad anyway.

"Dining room," my voice was curt and made the woman scurry towards the dining room with breakfast.

Once she was gone, Katherine cocked an eyebrow, "That was a large breakfast for just you, Christian. Abandoning the annoyingly healthy lifestyle?"

How could my brother handle this bitch?

Before I could adequately lie, it all went to hell.

"That smells delicious," Anastasia announced as she came around the corner with Theodore in her arms, paling as soon as she noticed the visitors beside me.

Katherine's eyes about bugged out, and Mia dropped her purse in pure excitement.

"Oh. My. God! Anastasia and Christian. Why you sly little things? I knew it was meant to be! Why didn't you just say you had 'company', Christian?" Mia gave me a knowing wink before wrapping Anastasia up in what looked to be a painfully tight hug, and she admired Theodore, "And who are you, young man? You're beautiful!"

Theodore stared at her with a combination of excitement and uncertainty at her exuberance, but he answered her question anyway. "Theoooo-dore Waymond 'Eele," Theodore stopped for a moment, looking particularly proud of himself and slowly added, "Grey?" he looked between Anastasia and me.

Joy spread through my chest as I realized that Theodore recognized Grey as his new last name, but a sense of impending doom rained in on my happiness. Mia looked up at Anastasia, silently imploring for an explanation.

"Theodore is my son… Well, um," Anastasia swallowed, "Our son," she pointed at me and then back to herself.

Mia's jaw dropped, and for the first time, she was stunned to silence. Katherine looked like she could have fucking broken my nose as she marched over to Anastasia and gave her a glare that made Theodore squirm uncomfortably.

Oh hell no, she was not going to intimidate my child. It was bad enough that she did it to Ana.

"What do you mean Theodore is your son? I've-I've never even met him," Mia looked up at me with big, hurt eyes, "Have you hid him from me?"

"No, no, I... I hid him. Christian didn't know," Anastasia looked back to my desperately, and I came towards her, letting her hand Theodore to me. I pulled him close to me and kissed his copper curls. I was better at this after holding him earlier, and I felt the sudden need to protect him from this situation. He shouldn't hear about this shit of who knew about him and who didn't. To my surprise, everyone silenced as they watched the two of us.

"Hungry, Dahh-duh," Teddy murmured, and I nodded.

"Let's eat breakfast, Teddy," I walked towards the dining room, hoping that they could work it out without Theodore being involved. Maybe French Toast and syrup could distract him from the yelling that was certainly about to take place.

"Yes, let's. We need to all talk," Kate demanded, marching into the dining room with Mia following close behind, and Anastasia looked at me.

"This'll be hell…" she whispered in passing as she went into the dining room, and I had to admit she was right.

The ending was a bit weak, sorry, and it was so hard to come up with a chapter title. Any suggestions? I also apologize for it taking so long to get this chapter out. I am in the middle of moving, and it is very stressful.

What do you think about where this story is going so far, and what do you think of this chapter? Please review!