Okay. I lied when I said I was gonna work on another story. Because I did one chapter for it and then started on this one again. 8D

Give Me Reason
Chapter 11: I'm All In

Carl was the first up the next morning. Judy was still asleep in her crib beside Carl's bed. The dog was curled up under it. The teen yawned and stretched. Then slowly crept towards his door. He and Judy had fallen asleep pretty fast the night before. No screaming or yelling or... any other sorts of noise woke either of them. Carl hoped that was a good sign. He gripped the doorknob and turned it slowly. Then pushed the door open. He peeked his head out into the dark, empty hall. Dad and Daryl's door was still shut.

Carl took another look at Judy, confirming she was still sleeping, and then slunk through the hall and down the stairs. He tiptoed through the house. The living room was empty. The kitchen was empty. The backyard was empty. Both vehicles were out front and Daryl's motorcycle was still in the garage.

Carl smiled and headed back to his room. He carefully bent over the crib and picked Judy up. The girl didn't stir. At all. Carl tucked her against him and she was still asleep. Jessi crawled out from under the crib. She yawned and stretched and licked at his offered hard. Carl patted his leg and the three of them headed downstairs in silence.

He pulled Judy's swing into the kitchen and bent down. Gently, Carl set her in the swing and she was still asleep. He smiled and let Jessi out into the backyard.

It was still early. Just after 7. Carl knew Rick had the day off. But neither him or Daryl ever actually slept in. Carl was certain they'd be up soon, even if they'd been up all night. He looked around the kitchen. He'd never really cooked much. Other than the microwave and toaster. He probably shouldn't, either. Probably inherited his dad's cooking skills. He'd probably burn down the kitchen. He glanced down at the sleeping Judy. "What's easy to cook? That's not cereal?" He asked the unconscious infant.

He turned to the cabinets and started rifling through them. There was a box of pancake mix. All he had to do was add water. And use the stove. That was easy. He'd watched his mom make them like a million times. He pulled out a mixing bowl and measured out the mix and water.

And then Jessi was at the door, scratching to come in. Carl set the bowl on the counter and turned to the door. He opened it and Jessi darted in. Before Carl could stop her, she darted towards Judy and stuck her nose in the girl's face. "Jessi!" Carl grabbed the dog's collar and hauled her back. But the dog had already licked Judy's nose and woke her up.

Judy blinked up at him. Then she smiled and reached for the dog. Carl smiled and let Jessi go. He picked Judy up and put her in her highchair. Judy's breakfast, he knew he couldn't mess up. He dumped a few cheerios on her table and grabbed the baby cereal from the cabinet.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Daryl opened his eyes slowly. He was laying across Rick's torso. Rick, who was very much still asleep. Rick, who'd sucked Daryl into his life. Rick, who'd somehow tricked Daryl into agreeing to marry him. Daryl lifted himself up a bit, shifted just enough so he could watch Rick sleep. Daryl didn't deserve any of this. It was all just too... perfect for him. Slowly, he leaned over, turned his head, and placed his ear over Rick's chest. He held his breath and listened to the dull beat of the heart in the man's chest. A heart that he knew belonged to him. Daryl owned Rick's heart. He knew that but still... was it right to say Rick owned his?

"What're you doing?"

Daryl's eyes widened and he quickly pushed off the no longer sleeping man. "Nothin..." Daryl muttered. He turned his back to Rick and tried to pull his legs up under him but just felt like he was tangling himself in the sheets and blanket.

Rick smiled and tilted his head, watching Daryl's nervous movements. "Were you... listening to my heart beat?" He asked softly.

Daryl wanted to say no, to laugh it off. But he just shrugged his shoulders and started chewing on his thumb. "Jus' making sure yer real..."

Rick pushed himself up and leaned against Daryl's back. "Very real." He murmured as he placed tiny kisses along the man's shoulder blade.

It was something Daryl didn't allow often, Rick at his back, full view of his scars. His skin itched and he fought the urge to pull away. But Rick against him felt good. And the lips on his shoulder felt good. Daryl closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He focused on Rick, on his lips, and pushed down his insecurities. Rick had seen the scars. Had dared to touch them a few times. And still, Rick had never treated Daryl any different. Rick never looked at him any different. "Sometimes..." Daryl breathed out the word and then hesitated.

"What?" Rick breathed against him when Daryl didn't continue.

"I feel like... this is all a dream." Daryl admitted softly. "Like every time I fall asleep beside ya... ya won't be there when I wake up. I'll be back at Merle's an' this'll all be gone."

Rick wrapped his arms around Daryl and held him tightly. "Ain't going anywhere. Think I already proved that."

Daryl smirked and leaned his head back, bumping against Rick's shoulder. "I know... I think I know..." He said slowly.

Rick stiffened for a moment, then relaxed against him again. "Don't trust me?"

Daryl sighed. "I'm trying. But... habits are hard ta break. Spent my whole life not trustin' anyone... not... openin' up or lettin' myself... feel..." He leaned back a bit, pushing his body harder against Rick's and Rick tightened his grip again. Daryl took a deep breath. "My dad..." Daryl faltered and shiver racked his whole body.

"You don't have to tell me." Rick whispered.

"I wanta..." Daryl said softly. "Want ya ta know..." Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat and pushed all his doubts away and just started talking. "When I was real little, it wasn't so bad. My mom an' Merle was there. Dad took it out on them. Then mom died an' Merle got all his attention. But then Merle got fed up an' left. An' I never blamed him for it. He put up with dad's abuse fer long 'nuff. He got out an' was my turn. An' dad was angrier then. Left all alone wit me. Stuck wit me. Reminder of the big mistake he'd made when he let me be born." Daryl said bitterly. "Told me so. Said he beat up on mom lots when she was pregnant. Tried ta kill me a'fore I was born. An' once I was... mom an' Merle started fightin' back. So he laid off me. But then they were gone an' I was left alone wit him. An' no one cared. Neighbors or school. Everyone saw me. Dad didn't try ta hide it. But everyone ignored me 'cuz I was jus' another Dixon. Jus' another drug dealer an' deserved it. Jus' 'cuz I was a Dixon."

"You aren't your name, Daryl." Rick said softly after a moment, after he was sure Daryl was done. "Your past is a part of you, but it's not you. It's not who you are. What your dad did to ya was wrong. Some people aren't meant to be parents."

Daryl let out a laugh. "Fuckin' understatement." He shook his head. "I knew it wasn't normal, knew what he did ta us was wrong. But... I never knew what a real dad could be... until I met you, Rick."

"Me?" Rick asked slowly.

"See'n ya wit yer kids." Daryl breathed out. "That first mornin'... hearing ya talk 'bout Judy, 'bout how much ya wanted her when yer ex-wife didn't... never knew what it felt like ta be wanted..."

Rick smiled widely and pressed his forehead to Daryl's back. "We want you." He whispered.

"Part of me..." Daryl continued, trying to ignore the way Rick was touching him. There was something he'd been worried about, something he was afraid of admitting. "Is afraid... that's he's in me."

Rick stilled. "You aren't your dad." Rick said strongly, without a note of hesitation. " I've trusted you with my kids since I met you. I never once had an ounce of hesitation. You aren't your dad." Rick repeated. I know you aren't. You're you. An' I love who you are. I love you." Rick said into his ear. Daryl felt tears in his eyes. He tucked his head against his chest and tried to lean forward. He didn't want Rick to see. But Rick just held on tighter. "Your last name doesn't matter ta us." Rick continued. "You're a part of this family. An' ya already said yes so ya can't take it back."

Daryl blinked the tears away and took a deep breath. His chest hurt and his eyes hurt. This feelings thing really sucked. After a few silent minutes, Daryl let out a laugh. "Okay get off." He said. "Yer like a fuckin' furnace. An' I'm hungry. Better feed me if ya except me ta put out on the weddin' night."

Rick started laughing and pushed Daryl away. Then jumped off the bed. He bent down and started collecting clothes off the floor. He pulled on his pants and threw Daryl his. A few minutes later and Rick grabbed Daryl's hand and pulled him down the hall. Rick slowed as they reached the steps. "I must be hungry. I smell pancakes."

Daryl tilted his head. "I smell 'em, too. Can Carl cook?"

Rick shrugged. "House ain't burned down yet."

Daryl smirked at him. "'Cuz yer ass ain't in it."

Rick let out a laugh and pulled Daryl down the stairs.

Judy was in her highchair. She had mush on her face and cheerios stuck everywhere and she waved her spoon at them as they walked in. Jessi was licking the floor where Judy had dropped food. And Carl was at the stove, trying his hardest to make the pancakes perfect. He glanced over. "Dad, Daryl! Great!" Carl turned his attention back to the pan and picked up his spatula. "Daryl... how do you know when to flip these?"

Daryl peeled his hand away from Rick and walked over to peek over Carl's shoulder. "Right now, kid. When it starts bubbling like that. Want me ta finish?"

Carl shook his head. "No, I got this. You go feed Judy. I think Jessi ate more off the floor then Judy got in her mouth. But I there's extra in the bowl on the counter. I made too much."

Daryl patted Carl on the back and headed over to Judy, smiling slightly at the mess she'd made.

"Dad." Carl said. "You get the plates and syrup."

Rick smiled and crossed the kitchen to the cabinet. He pulled it open and grabbed the plates. Daryl got Judy cleaned up and got her to eat a few bites. Then he gave her a cooled pancake and she started tearing that up. And she threw it on the floor and laughed as the door ate it. Then they all sat down and ate and poked fun at Rick. Because his 14 year old son managed to make pancakes by himself and Rick couldn't make anything.

"So..." Carl said after they'd finish. And he was smiling at them.

Daryl abruptly got up from the table. He collected the plates and started towards the sink. "Said yes. We ain't talking about it."

Carl jumped up and followed Daryl. "I wanna talk about it. Well, not about whatever happened last night. But I wanna talk about the wedding!"

"No wedding." Rick said with a smile. "We'll all just go to the courthouse."

"Awesome." Carl said loudly. "No planning. You can do it now."

Daryl dropped the plates in the sink. "Now?"

Rick shook his head. "Not now."

"Why not? Don't need to wait." Carl turned to look at Rick. "Come on, dad. You have ta do it fast before Daryl changes his mind."

Daryl leaned on the sink.

Carl darted in behind him and threw his arms about Daryl's waist, hugging him. "Dad, get your cuffs. We'll shove him in the car and go now."

Daryl rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Iff'n Imma be yer stepdad, means I can ground yer ass, right?"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Author's Notes: Chapter 12 is about a third done. I haven't even started chapters 13 or 14. 15 is done. 16 is half done. 8D And 17-20 have outlines. So might take a bit longer than I have been going for the next update as I work on the next 3 chapters. But I'm excited to get to the zombies and to where the TV show starts. Which I think will be 21. Only 10 to go! 8D