AN: Alright so a few things today so it'll be a little longer. First, I finally figured out my timeline and how it all works out. I figure I'll go back and work a few details into some chapters about this but, the party which all this drama started at was a Halloween party. That places the start date of the story at October 31st or I guess November 1st considering it was the morning after:P. Once everything is completed and all over it will be December 20th in the story world. It just so happens that 2013 literally works perfectly in that timeframe!
Anyway I don't know if that really matters to anyone, but it made things easier for me haha. So thank you to Mystik225 (and anyone else) for getting what I was trying to imply in the last chapter. That the 'victorious girl' was meant to be Kira or one of her lackies overhearing the convo and manipulating that!:)
One final thing! To answer a question. I planned this story out over a year ago(like literally every single chapter had and still has a detailed outline), but then I didn't start to write it until December. And now we're here. So I'm currently posting Chapter 11. I currently have 17 chapters written. And I currently and have always planned for 30 chapters. However I do promise an ending that is my way. And I'm a sucker for happy endings so don't be worrying. So there ya go. Also added bonus! I'm thinking so far of some one-shots/two-shots that I can do after this. I have 3 ideas so far:) and perhaps in the distant(not so distant?) future a sequel!
And with that, my long note is over! Read, Review, and Enjoy!:)
Disclaimer: And so, I do not own Austin & Ally.
Parties & Mistakes
Chapter 11: Ally's POV
I heard crashing footsteps come into the washroom.
"Ally!" Trish yelled.
Yet here I was, pathetically draped over a toilet having just up chucked an apple and remains of dinner, crying. Sobbing.
How? Why? My mind could only form inconsequential one word phrases. Austin. Why? Why? Why? Why?
There was a soft knocking on the bathroom stall I now resided in. "Ally," came Trish's calm voice. "Let me in please."
I shifted on the floor and reached up to the lock. She opened the door and slid down the wall, sitting opposite me. We stared at each other for a fair amount of time. I knew she was waiting for me to say something. But I couldn't. Instead I drew my legs up and put my head in my hands.
"Ally, come on. It's okay," Trish said.
"You keep saying that," I huffed. "It's never true."
We stared at each other again. Tears streaming down my face, blurring my vision.
"Hey," Trish said, aligning herself next to me. She sat against the white brick wall, allowing me to lean my head on her shoulder. "You gotta stop the pity party."
"Was there another party I was invited to?" I sniffed. "Is there another party that can ruin my life?"
"Ally," she sighed. Her arms wrapped around me as I cried. Even in my absolute moment of sadness, it felt good to have such an amazing friend.
Crying on that bathroom floor seemed to slow down time. All I could do was sob. My brain could not function. Every time I thought I could possibly leave, another thought struck. I'd picture Austin's face. Kira's notes. Austin's body. Kira's house. My fellow classmates. The mystery whore. Austin's smile. Austin's shoes. Austin's confession. Austin.
"Why would he do this to me? He said he loved me," I whispered. My gaze was trained on the stained blue wooden wall of the stall. I couldn't dare to look at Trish. I didn't want to see her face. I didn't want to know what she was thinking.
Trish's legs stretched out in front of her and she moved her feet back and forth. "I don't know," she finally admitted. "I can't tell you why anyone would do anything. For all we know it could be a lie."
"How would she know otherwise?" I said exasperated. My legs slipped from their scrunched up hold until they were sprawled in front of me. Trish touched her foot to mine, a gesture of solidarity.
She shrugged. "Maybe the walls have ears."
I sat there sniffling, taking in her words. Why would he do this? I woke up this morning feeling invincible. I knew he loved me. I knew he cared about me beyond belief. I knew that in every ounce of my being I felt the exact same way about him. And now... Everything that I've thought these passed few days.. What were they? Were they all lies?
I hastily wiped at my eyes. The final bell had rung ages ago. For the first time in my life, I was going to be late for a class. If I was even going at all. Which would be another first. First time skipping. Month of firsts, right? I let out all the air in my lungs in a long, shaky breath.
How do you go on from something like this? Any reputation that I'd managed to obtain in my years here was suddenly gone. Any remote friendship I had was probably gone too. I was poison. In those glances I'd gotten this morning that was inherently apparent. Nobody wants to hang around with that(italics) girl. Nobody wants to let their friends near that girl. Nobody would ever dream of letting their boyfriend around that girl. What a fucking slut.
Home wrecker.
Adulterer.
Whore.
Bitch.
Skank.
Was that what described me now? If I went out there, that's all I'd hear. That's all anyone would ever know me as. My high school legacy is going to be this. If anyone writes in my yearbook, this is what they'll remember. If I win an award, this is all anyone will ever think.
"Ally, are you okay? You're kind of just staring into blank space," Trish spoke.
I shook my head, pushing myself off the ground. "Do you really think that's a good question to ask me right now?" I huffed. "Of course I'm not okay!" I wiped away the last few angry tears and pulled down the hem of my dress.
"Maybe it's time to go home?" Trish questioned coming to her feet. "I mean, this is a horrible amount of shit to deal with. You just spent the past half hour on the floor, crying!" She glanced downwards and cringed slightly. "And apparently rid the contents of your stomach..." She bent to flush the toilet, then returned to look at me. "Go home."
I laughed, shaking my head again. "Isn't that what they want? If I go home doesn't Kira win?"
"I think Kira's already won the game she's playing..." Trish mused.
"Whatever. Screw the bitch." I unlocked and pushed open the stall door. Anger surged through me more than anything else now. I hated what I had done, but more than anything I hated what Kira had done to exploit that. I stomped over to the sink and washed away the last of my smudged makeup. There was fire in my eyes and pain in my heart. She wanted me to give up? Too bad.
I stormed out of the bathroom, not even paying attention to whether or not Trish followed. All that rang through my mind was the solid and determined clicking of my heeled boots. I was getting to class. I was proving I was better. Eventually I heard the clamored steps of Trish finally coming after me. She looked frazzled and confused as she passed me my messenger bag. I shoved it over my shoulders and climbed the front stairs on the way to Biology. Trish continued to glance nervously at me with every building step, until finally we reached the door of our biology classroom.
That's when I lost my nerve. My hand was on the doorknob, ready to turn. She's in there. Kira is in there. Kira is in there with a bunch of people who now know my secret.
"You know you don't have to go in." Trish said lightly.
I glanced back at her, letting her fully see the fear, sadness, loathing, and pain in my eyes. I shook my head and gave a wry smile. "I have to."
I turned the handle and walked in, Trish following closely behind. Miss. Daily looked over to us shocked.
"Miss. Dawson, Miss. De la Rosa. You're late. Luckily, I haven't sent the attendance down so there's no need to go to the office. Now hurry, sit down." Miss. Daily spoke, a certain degree of pity etched on her features. Great she knows too.
"I wonder which way this late is supposed to be taken." Kira snickered. "This is biology afterall, maybe we should be discussing a different sort of lateness."
Kira's friends smirked at her snide attempt at a joke. I felt all eyes on me as I walked to the back of the class and to my spot. I slunk down in my chair, taking books out of my bag. Gazes of several students were still on me, questions forming in their minds.
Power through, Ally. Don't let them get to you.
A&A
It's funny how quickly things change. That's literally all my mind could form in all of my classes. As everyone stares at me, all I can think is how they didn't even know I existed before this morning. I was invisible before this morning. But now I sit down in class - stares. I walk around the halls - stares. I stop at my locker - stares. I pass Austin and avert my eyes - stares. Everyone was just eating this up. This was the biggest thing to rock the school since Miss. Catalani's breakdown in Grade 9. This whole scenario was wonderful for the gossip mongrels of the school, but not by any means for me.
I had spent the first two periods of the day staring down at my feet, or the desk, or the floor. I learned I couldn't meet anyone's eyes. If I locked gazes with anyone I was guaranteed to see either pity, loathing, or wonder. The floor was a much better subject.
I sighed. Where was I supposed to go now? It was lunch and I was bound to run into Austin. Not that I hadn't already, I'd seen him in the halls and as I did with everyone else, I looked away. With him it was different, it wasn't the judgement that I was looking away from. I didn't want him to see the pain in my eyes.
I sifted through my locker in a vain attempt to figure out my next move. I looked at old discarded notes, and post-its from Trish. There were doodles from boring math classes and one word stories from free periods. This was the one place I kept absolutely messy. A place that was filled to the brim with memories.
When I finally got to the papers dotted with Austin's printing, Trish appeared at my side. From her angle, I could totally see how bad this looked. I was standing at my locker staring at notes from Austin. It looked like a shitty break-up had just happened and I was that girl crying her eyes out in the movie. Not that we broke up.. That would imply that we were together. God I wish we were together. I wouldn't be so scared to talk to him now. I would certainly hurt more, but I'd feel as though I was able to tell him off.
"Uhhhh... Is it time to go home now?" Trish asked.
I shook my head and slammed the locker. "C'mon let's go to lunch."
She gave me an odd look before beginning to follow. I walked to the beat of the whispers. Everyone talking, then shushing each other as I passed.
"Ally, what are you trying to prove?" Trish hissed.
"I'm not trying to prove anything I'm just getting through the day."
"By putting yourself through torture?"
My eyes strayed over to her. I couldn't read her expression. I couldn't tell who she was angry at.
"No," I huffed and started down the stairs. "It isn't going to matter whether I go home or stay here, people are still going to talk. And if I go home today people are still going to talk tomorrow. There's no avoiding it, so why not face it?"
Trish nodded but pulled me aside when we got to the landing. She looked me in the eye and held onto my arm. "Do you know what they've been saying though?"
I scoffed and watched everyone that passed us. People were taking note of the fact that it was me standing at the bottom of the stairwell. Some even dared to point and cover their mouths in shock. I rolled my eyes and drew my gaze back to Trish. "I'm well aware."
She blinked as I turned on my heel. We walked the long corridor to the cafeteria, the murals of sports teams hanging on the walls. A completely insane part of my mind had decided to go and sit with everyone else. Pretending like I wasn't some huge spectacle. Pretending like everyone staring at me wasn't making me majorly anxious.
It was all the same. I heard the murmurs across the cafeteria. The people who knew I was there and took to hushed whispering, and the people who didn't know so they were practically yelling. Neither of which helped me feel any better. How would you feel if everyone around you was making you the brunt of the joke?
I felt sick. It was overwhelming. As much as I tried to focus on whatever Trish was saying, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was on the glares and stares of everyone in the room. I stared down at the barely touched food in front of me. I couldn't let this get to me. I just couldn't.
And then the shoes appeared. The Goddamn red converse. I didn't look up. I didn't move. I didn't hear the exchange. There was no exchange. Trish had used her steely eyes and sent him away. It was then I realized I'd have to face him in English and it was then that I realized I had to go.
"Like honestly, who does she think she is?"
"What a fucking slut."
"I know! Of all people why her?"
Laughter, stares, glares, laughter, mocking, huffs, shock, points, laughter.
My eyes filled with tears. Screw being strong, I can't do this. I leapt up from the table and rushed out of the cafeteria. Trish pushed on after me. I left the room, left the halls, left the school, until I was out on the front steps.
"Ally!" Austin yelled.
Trish and I whipped around. I let out all the air in my body, all the air and all the tears. A feeble cry left me and Trish spoke. "Austin go to hell! What makes you think you can do that?"
"I- I didn't," His mouth opened in shock while his eyes spelled out worry.
"Don't give me that crap!" Trish hissed. "Don't play the innocent card here because you know exactly what you did!"
"I didn't-"
"Shut up, Austin!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "Stop. Just stop and just leave me alone."
The late autumn wind whisped around me, blowing my hair into my face. I pushed it out of my eyes and blinked. I watched as we all engaged in a standoff. Austin stood at the top of the steps, scuffing his feet along the concrete. Trish stood next to me, attempting to read the emotions that crossed my features and I was stuck in the middle.
"Look," Austin spoke. "I didn't do anything and if I did, I didn't mean to do anything."
"How do you not know if you did something..." Trish mumbled. She turned to me, looking for guidance. What was the next move?
I sighed and faced the parking lot. The sky had turned into a cloudy grey mess that looked as though it was about to rain. Perfect.
"I need to go," I told them and ran off towards my house.
AN: Yeah, but just because the reader knows it was Kira, doesn't mean Ally does. Haha! I promise this gets fixed my loves, I'm keeping you on your toes:P And by the way, this chapter took me forever to write and I'm not entirely satisfied with the ending... But it is what it is! Enjoy!