Chapter 11 – Perfect Fairground Attraction
As soon as they arrived at the fairground and Harry extricated himself from the back seat, Jax and Tara went straight to a huge Ferris wheel. He fell into step next to Nelly, watching Jax and his girlfriend walking ahead of them hand in hand. The tall guy felt a quick pang of envy, wanting this so badly for himself, while the girl he longed for was right next to him, yet so desperately out of reach. Nel had always been nice to him, never acting coy or flirty, never playing mind games like so many girls did, always trying to put him at ease. There were times when he though maybe it was Nelly's way of encouraging him, opening doors, but at other times he felt sure she did it out of compassion for his awkwardness. This pity date Tara arranged only made things worse. Still, the joy filling Harry in Nel's company was worth all the uncertainty he felt when they were apart.
Harry noticed Nelly's pace slow down as they neared the wheel. She was clearly hesitating. It was a ride for couples after all, and the usual doubts resurfaced in Harry's mind. He decided to make it easy for her, "You don't have to go, Nel."
Jax and Tara were already in a line-up, urging them on. Jax called mischievously, "Come on, Nel, he won't bite."
Harry watched Nelly's face transform from an anxious frown to fierce determination, and then she smiled up at him and said, "Let's go."
Harry steadied the swinging cart and took Nelly's hand to help her get in, then sat down next to her. The seat was quite narrow, allowing only a hand's breadth between them. As the wheel began to ascend, Nel closed her eyes and grabbed hold of the metal enclosure. "Something wrong, Nelly?"
"It's nothing..." Nelly wrinkled her forehead, her cheeks colouring, then continued, "Just this stupid fear of heights I have."
"You should have said something, we'd have stayed on the ground."
"And let Jax think I'm afraid of you?" She have him a crooked smile, her eyes still closed. Harry smiled too, admiring her courage. But her face blanched as they began to descend, and she swallowed hard, "Besides, I've got to face my fears sometime, right? Even if it feels like I'm falling off a cliff."
He acted on instinct when he took her hand, gripping the seat between them, in his. "Here, does that help?"
She opened her eyes to glance at him in surprise, but closed them quickly as they began to ascend again, "Yes, actually, it does."
Nel was quiet through all of the next revolution of the big wheel, while she held Harry's hand in a vice-like grip. Still, he worried he said or did something wrong. "You probably think this is a stupid come-on..."
"Oh, no," she shook her head, "I'm just afraid that if I'll start talking, I'll throw up."
It occurred to Harry that a conversation would be a good way to pass the time and to keep Nelly distracted. He wasn't much of a talker, but it was the least he could do for her. She was on this ride, after all, because of him. "In that case, I'll talk."
He cleared his throat nervously, trying to come up with something they might have in common. Family, that was usually safe. "You don't have any siblings, do you?"
"No, it's just my old man and me."
Then Harry remembered about her mom, and what he thought was a safe subject turned into a minefield of awkwardness. A pause stretched.
"How about you?" She asked and got the conversation moving again.
"Same. I mean no blood siblings," Harry stumbled, "My parents don't get along well enough for that."
He saw corners of her lips lift up in amusement. "It must be nice living with an anarchist dad. No rules, no curfews?" Nelly teased.
"You'd be surprised how strict he is with me." Harry laughed, "I have to work in the garage after school to learn the trade. And I have chores at home. But it's ok, you know where you stand with my dad."
"How about your mom?"
"My mother is a total nag." Harry had very little love for her, but quickly realized he was being insensitive and added gently, "I'm sorry, Nel. Your mom is gone and I'm being an ungrateful prick complaining about mine."
"It's ok. We're teenagers, we're supposed to hate our parents," Nelly tried to make light of it, obviously not wanting him to feel worse.
"How about you? What's your dad like? I mean, I've heard about him, but..."
"He drinks and gambles more than he can afford, runs with the Nords," Nelly confirmed darkly. "But as long as I have supper ready for him at the end of the day, he lets me be." Then she changed the topic, "You and Jax seem very close."
"We've been best friends since... well, forever." He thought about what Nelly shared about her parents and felt the need to reciprocate. "Jax's baby brother died of a heart defect when we were kids. So we're brothers, as thick as blood."
Nelly thought about it for a moment, "Well, I guess it's like me and my best friend, Donna. I love her like a sister and her family treats me like one of their own."
"So you know what I mean." All awhile, Nelly's eyes were closed, and Harry was grateful for this uninterrupted time, taking in the curve of her full lips, the long shadows her eyelashes were casting on porcelain-perfect cheeks. It was a good thing she didn't see him right now, because there was no doubt he looked like a puppy-eyed dope. Way up here, with no distractions and away from everyone, Harry suddenly felt that he could confess what's been on his mind, "You know, I've seen you by the clubhouse with Linda, but you always keep to yourself."
"She doesn't want me hanging around the club."
"But she's an old lady, right?"
"I think that's why," Nel said cautiously, "Between her and my father, I never heard anything good about the MC."
"I hope you don't believe everything you hear." Said Harry quietly, a bitter note creeping into his voice.
"No, not usually." She answered thoughtfully, then asked, "Do you think I'd be here if I did?"
He thought about it for a moment. She was sitting next to him, they were holding hands. Relief flooded him. "Good point. To us, SAMCRO is one big family."
Nelly's forehead wrinkled, "My aunt always calls it the club or MC."
"We call it SAMCRO." Then he wrote the acronym on top of her hand with his finger. "Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original."
"You're going to laugh, but I always thought Sam Crow was a biker's name," She giggled, "Now it makes sense."
It made Harry happy to see her so relaxed, so far from the anxiety he saw in her face when they just got on that damn wheel. Suddenly, the ride stopped, their cart at the top of the big curve.
"I think they've started letting people off." Said Harry looking down to the seats below them, more sorry than relieved that their time together was coming to an end. "It'll be our turn soon."
A few minutes passed, yet the wheel hasn't moved, and he could feel Nelly tense up again. She opened her eyes for a moment, but seeing how high they were, quickly closed them again, became very quiet and still. Harry wanted desperately to get back to that magical moment when he first took her hand in his, made her laugh. Getting her out of here as soon as possible became his top priority.
"What's the hold-up?" He called down to the operator.
"A kid got sick, made a mess. It's gotta be cleaned up."
"It shouldn't be long." Nelly said to him, her voice a bit shaky. "Can we talk some more?"
"Sure," Harry agreed eagerly. He thought of all the things he always wanted to ask her, so he started with something simple, "What's your favourite colour?"
"Green."
"Like your eyes." The words slipped out of his lips before he realized, and he blushed fiercely.
"Like yours too." She said quietly.
It struck him mute that she'd noticed, and Harry forced himself to open his mouth again and ask another question, "Do you like ice-cream?" So many girls denied eating sweets.
"I've never met a banana split I didn't like."
"No kidding? Banana splits are my favourite, with loads of chocolate sauce." Finding out they had this silly, insignificant thing in common, made him feel insanely happy. At that moment, the wheel jerked and began descending. Little by little, they were getting closer to the ground.
Just before they got off, Nelly opened her eyes and let go of his hand. The bubble had burst, the magic had ended. She smiled at him, "Thanks, Harry. Your next banana split is on me."
He just blushed in reply, his eyes reaching for his boots again. Somehow, getting back drained the courage and ease he found with Nelly up at the top of the wheel. Jax and Tara were waiting for them already, complaining about all the time they've wasted. Harry thought the exact opposite – it was the best time he's ever had with a girl.
Jax was eager to try the rock climbing wall and, of course, took Harry with him. Nel felt like she needed an injection of sugar into her system. She was torn between many carnival offerings to find something that would satisfy her craving. Finally, the girls settled for cool, sweet lemonade. They sipped it slowly while they watched the boys strap into wall climbing gear. Tara broke the content silence, "So, you and Harry talked the whole time you were up there?"
"Yeah, most of the time."
Tara made a perplexed face, "I'm amazed he talks to you at all. He's painfully shy with girls, practically afraid of them. I bet it's because his mother is such a mean old hag."
Nel was stunned into silence, then thought of the most obvious explanation. "He probably felt sorry for me. I was a total basket case."
"What do you mean?"
"I have a terrible fear of heights," Nelly admitted. "Harry kept me sane up there. He was so calm and reassuring that for most part I forgot where I was."
"Wait a minute," Tara turned away from the boys, who by now were half way up the climb wall, and zeroed in her attention on Nelly, "So, are you telling me you've braved your phobia because you didn't want to hurt his feelings?"
"Telling him the truth would sound like a lame excuse for not wanting to be around him. So what choice did I have?"
"You are either very considerate and self-destructive, or totally smitten."
"Neither." Nel laughed at Tara's outrageous conclusion. "Now remember, I'm here because you've asked me."
"But do you like him?"
"Was this your intention all along?" Nelly began feeling like Tara had pulled a fast one and it got her annoyed. "This misguided matchmaking?"
"Not at all, I'm doing nothing. Now tell me, what do you think about Harry?"
Nelly knew Tara wouldn't relent until she said something, so she replied vaguely, "He's nice."
"Nice? So at least there's potential?"
Her friend was clearly teasing, but Nelly thought of Simon and Darby, and men like them, and how much she despised the way they looked at her. "I really don't know, Tara, the guys I've come across in my life had turned me off boys and dating." Nelly considered her conflicted feelings, the crumbling wall she had worked so hard to build. There was nothing Harry did or said that would make her dislike him. On contrary, his quiet, reserved nature, the sense of calm and safety she felt around him, was a draw she found hard to resist. She couldn't help admitting, "But Harry is different."
"The two of them might be biker kids, Nel, but they are good guys." Tara told her seriously, as though she was reading Nel's mind. "Otherwise, I wouldn't be around. If that's the only thing stopping you from giving Harry a chance, then it shouldn't."
Nelly just shook her head, fear winning over a glimmer of hope. "I just don't need this sort of thing right now." She said seriously and thought, better safe than sorry.