A/N: I'm not going to cover the investigation at all. However, I HIGHLY recommend cdixon's "Changes" for that. It's awesome, and has Rick all stressed about it and taking his frustrations out in the gym. So he develops an incredibly buff bod. As if anything could make Nathan Fillion yummier. Two thumbs up!

You Fillionacs recognized Kate's song, right? I thought the words were perfect for what I thought Kate was feeling.

x

Previously: Kate's at home, and snuck off to the roof to play guitar. Rick tried to comfort her there. Jim & Rick shared funny stories at dinner, then gave Kate a framed photo of her as a child with her parents. The frame had her mother's ring attached on a chain. Alexis also gave Kate a gift with a note about making new happy memories.

x

Kate took a deep breath and opened the box. It was a sterling silver castle-shaped charm.

She picked up the delicate charm, studied it, then sat it back in the box on the table. Her expression was blank. She bit the inside of her cheek. Then she stood up and went to her room without a word.

Castle breathed out a four-letter word and hung his head. She was supposed to smile. Or cry. Or something. He didn't know what to do. He looked to Jim for help.

Jim blew out a heavy breath then pursed his lips, thinking. Then he looked to Rick and said, "Give her a few minutes. Then go talk to her. Maybe she's not angry, just overwhelmed."

Rick nodded. He drank his tea and tapped his foot, wondering if it had been long enough.

When he couldn't wait anymore, he asked, "Now?"

Jim nodded yes.

Her bedroom door was open. She was pacing, biting her thumbnail; but stopped when she saw Rick in the doorway.

"Are you okay?" She didn't look mad, but frustrated like when there was a case she couldn't figure out. When she met his eyes, he could see the hurt and confusion in hers.

He reached her in a couple of long strides and gathered her in a strong embrace. She buried her forehead against his neck and clung to him.

He felt her breathing become deep and shaky, trying to hold back sobs. He kept holding her. He'd stand there holding her all night if she needed him to.

"Am I just supposed to let her go? Forget her?" she murmured against his shirt.

"No... no… of course not. You're supposed to remember all the good things about her. And the ring is right there with a beautiful picture, if you need a touchstone."

"But… but… what if I forget?"

He held her tighter. "You won't. There's no way that'll happen. She's part of you. And she'd want you to let yourself be happy."

She didn't relax.

He stroked her hair.

"Kate, who was your best friend in first grade?"

"What? Why?" She loosened her hold on him just enough to look into his eyes.

"Humor me."

"Melanie Johnston."

"What did she look like?

"Brown hair and eyes. Olive skin. People always asked if we were sisters. We'd say yes."

"What was her favorite toy?"

"Care Bears. She had every single one."

"And how would she irritate you?"

"Her parents always bought an extra season pass to the Yankees, and I'd get jealous if she took a different friend with her. I didn't even understand the game, yet. I just liked cheering for Mattingly."

"And what-"

"Are you going to make a point sometime, Rick?"

"Yes. Tell me how many times you've spoken with Melanie Johnston since middle school."

Kate thought for a few minutes. "Maybe three times."

"And yet you remember your friend from first grade, all about her, down to her skin tone and what made you jealous. And there are plenty more details you remember, too, right?"

She nodded, understanding the purpose behind his questions.

"You're not going to forget your mother, Kate. There's too much there. She wouldn't want you doing this to yourself, would she?"

She shook her head. "Don't mess up my pity party with your logic." It was a weak attempt at humor, but it was enough.

He placed a kiss to the crown of her head and tightened his arms around her again. He felt her blow out a few deep breaths.

She focused in his warmth and on the logic of his words while pushing the confusion of these increasingly regular head-kisses to the back of her mind. "Thank you, Rick."

He took her hand and led her back into the kitchen where they found her father washing dishes.

"Everything okay?" Jim asked.

"I think so." Rick hoped so.

"Everything's okay," Kate told them.

She took her two gifts and took them to her bedroom. She placed the frame on her dresser and the charm in her jewelry box on the nightstand.

She had no doubt that, at that moment, her dad was questioning Rick on if he thought she was really okay. She wasn't sure. She touched her mother's ring, appreciating the way it looked like it was simply on a necklace draped over the frame. It hadn't been taken from her. It was right there.

She touched the spot on her chest where the stitches began. Where the ring was supposed to be, not an angry puffed red line where she had been sewn back together. She let herself imagine what her loved ones had gone through that day. She could only imagine how she would feel if Castle had been the one who took the bullet and it had been her and Lanie standing in the hallway soaked in his blood. If Martha and Alexis had been the ones grieving for him, not knowing if he would make it.

She unrolled Alexis's note. Who was she kidding? They were invested in her life as well. It was no wonder Alexis seemed to waiver between thankful that Kate was okay and worried about what was to come. The poor girl didn't know whether to support her father's choice to be here, or to tell him to cut his losses and end the partnership. Alexis had never said anything like that, of course, but Kate had gotten that vibe. There was apparently a contract out on the life of the person her daddy spent most of his time with, painting a bull's eye on him as well.

Especially since was involved in the investigation and Kate was out of the loop… did that make Castle more of a target now than she was? She had the same concerns Alexis seemed to have.

And, yet, the young lady had bought her a charm for her necklace. To take the place of her mother's ring, at least physically. And it was shaped like a castle. If it had been from Rick, she would have thought it presumptuous and arrogant. If it had been from Lanie or Jim, she would have resisted (or openly rebelled against) the obvious attempt to push her and Castle together. But it was from a terrified teenage girl who apparently wanted Kate to make happy memories with the Castles and wanted the Castles to have that spot near her heart that offered comfort and reassurance.

And that was scary as hell. And absolutely wonderful. And, wow, she was in so deep with their family, she didn't want out. She just wanted more.

Her face broke into a relieved and hopeful grin.

She went to hug and thank her father, giving him an innocent kiss on the cheek. Then she did the same with Rick; but the kiss was much closer to his lips, and the look in her eye much less innocent but every bit as adoring.

x

Please review! They're addictive like Samoas and Thin Mints!

(Even though I don't buy them from the Girl Scouts - I make homemade.)

That's all the sadness & angst I can handle writing. It was difficult. Ready for some warm fuzzies?