Chapter 11
"So basically, if we continue to further the overseas expansion, it's going to increase our revenue and stocks as well," Johnny finished, sliding a pie chart across Jason's desk. "It's too much money not to pass it up, but we have to be careful or else too much could be, well, too much." O'Brien paused, leaning back in his chair as he tugged at his tie. "Jason, are you listening?"
"Yeah," he lied, frowning at the pie charts, not because he disagreed, but because he just couldn't focus. "However you want to do it."
"Okay," Johnny muttered, sliding the pie charts back into the folder he'd brought with him. He sat back in his chair, scratching a finger over his eyebrow. "What gives, Jason? You're not even paying attention, and usually that's my role."
"Sorry," he said, letting out a deep breath as he tapped his fingers against the arm of his chair. "Can I ask you something?"
He arched an eyebrow, a sly grin coming over his face. "Jason Morgan, are you coming to me for advice?"
"Not advice so much," he replied, shifting uncomfortably as he caught O'Brien's eye. "I, uh, I was wondering about Elizabeth."
"You're asking me about her?" he asked in disbelief, shaking his head as he smoothed a hand over his tie. "I think you've come to the wrong man."
"Not like that," Jason scowled, instantly regretting ever bringing the subject up to his friend in the first place.
Johnny could turn the most pure and innocent thing into something asinine and perverted without even trying.
"Lover's quarrel?" he teased, ignoring Jason's glare and flashing him a toothy grin. "What did you do?"
"Shut the fuck up," Jason spat, getting up from the desk and grabbing the file that Johnny had brought with him. Turning his back to his friend, he opened one of the filing cabinets and busied himself with putting it away.
Until the lover's quarrel comment, Jason had almost forgot that Johnny thought he and Elizabeth were more than just friends, but his friend's remarks from the bar came rushing back. Turning back around to face him, he started to correct Johnny, but stopped.
"Well?" Johnny asked, twiddling his thumbs innocently as he looked up at him.
Sighing, Jason took his seat again and stared at O'Brien intently before finally asking him. "What was she like before?"
He cleared his throat, raking a hand through his short hair, clearly uncomfortable at the mention of Jason Quartermaine. "You, uh, you mean before the accident?"
He nodded, drumming his fingers on the armrests again.
"I don't think she's changed much really," O'Brien answered honestly, shrugging as he leaned forward in his chair. "If anything, she's more scared."
"And before?" he asked, frustrated that his two closest friends had a pile of memories that he should remember, but couldn't.
"She was flightly," he laughed, a fond smile spreading over his lips. "She didn't have a care in the world or anything to worry about, because she always knew she'd have us."
"Still does," Jason muttered, swallowing hard as he stared across the desk at his friend.
Jason Quartermaine was never a topic of discussion. He made sure of it years ago, and for the longest time his friends never even spoke his name. It was like he had never existed or was just a friend they had before Jason Morgan came along.
Honestly, Jason never cared to know anything about him. He heard enough from his former family; about how he was the token golden boy and he was the one with all the pressures to carry on the family name, but lately he felt like he was missing something.
Elizabeth was careful to never make references to the past or to remind him of the person he once was, but she'd slipped up a few times, especially since Johnny had returned home. While it never bothered him before that Johnny and Elizabeth shared this past, lately he found himself wanting to know about it too.
"Well, it was different then," Johnny said, continuing to scratch his brow.
"I guess," he replied, not wanting to pressure O'Brien into talking about something that he clearly didn't want to.
"What's going on? You've never asked about this before."
He shrugged, drumming his fingers harder on the chair arms. "She says stuff sometimes, and I don't get it…I just can't remember."
"You mean about you and her – I mean, Jason Quartermaine and her," Johnny corrected, shifting again in his chair. He was starting to get antsy like he always did when he was uncomfortable, and Jason wouldn't be surprised if he tried to make a quick exit. "Well, you were-they were close."
Jason nodded, already figuring that much.
"She depended on him for everything, and she, uh, she loved him," he said, his eyes dropping to his lap as if he couldn't look at Jason anymore. "He didn't love her though – not in that way at least, and I think she knew that. She always hoped…The accident…She thought the accident took him away from-" He stopped when his phone rang and a look of relief washed over his face. "It's, uh, it's Lulu. I better-"
"Yeah," Jason interrupted, waving him towards the door. "Thanks. We'll catch up later."
Jason leaned back in his chair, watching him disappear through the door, Johnny's words swirling around in his head.
She depended on him.
She loved him.
And that was the last thing Elizabeth had wanted to do in the last year.
When Johnny first left, she was distant, and when Jason tried to do anything for her, she tensed up and backed away from him. Obviously that had changed drastically because now there was nothing they did without one another, but it had taken months to get to the point where Elizabeth would just allow him to buy her dinner. He wasn't sure exactly how the transition from no dependency to total dependency had occurred, but he wasn't complaining.
Not having Johnny around caused a shift because he was the buffer between Elizabeth and Jason, and they had to get past their issues on their own, or rather, Elizabeth did. He knew that the accident was something that still upset her, even haunted her sometimes, but he didn't know that she was in love with Jason Quartermaine.
It explained so much; mostly why she was so awkward around him when they were alone and why she was hesitant to trust him. He couldn't imagine what it was like for her to look at him and see Jason Quaratermaine, knowing he no longer existed, and he sure as hell couldn't begin to understand how difficult it was for her to just be around him.
Yet, she insisted on being his friend.
Maybe it spawned out of some loyalty to Jason Quartermaine, or maybe she believed his memory would come back, but her motivations didn't matter after a while. Elizabeth had always been patient and understanding, never failing to make sure he understood she was there for him, not who he was before.
She thought the accident took him away.
When Johnny left, she was devastated, and Jason just assumed it was due to a broken heart. He always thought she felt more for Johnny than Johnny did for her, but seeing as something had happened between them, he couldn't be sure. She depended on Johnny, doted on him even, and when he left, she didn't know what to do with herself. Jason imagined it had to be like losing someone all over again, especially when Johnny became distant and continued to draw out his trip.
Sighing heavily, Jason rubbed his hands over his face. Johnny coming home had done more than complicate things. Regardless of what Elizabeth thought, Jason knew she wasn't in love with Johnny, that she was hanging onto something that wasn't there. She was hanging onto everything that Johnny used to be, as well as everything that Jason Quartermaine could have been had he not been taken away.
Hell, Jason almost felt guilty, like he was responsible in some way, especially after how he had yelled at her the other night. Granted, she had lied to him and gone behind his back, and Johnny's too, but she thought she was protecting him, and Jason had downplayed her feelings. Or rather, the feelings she thought she had.
Technically he had no right to question her feelings towards Johnny or to tell her she couldn't go after him if she wanted to, but he had every right to worry about it blowing up in her face.
And something told him that was exactly what was going to happen.
Jason glanced up from his book to check the digital clock on his nightstand. It was close to midnight, and outside a thunderstorm was raging so hard that every now and then his walls shook. Sighing, he flipped a page, fighting the urge to call Elizabeth. He knew from the way she'd looked at him in the parking lot of the bar that she was pissed off. Mostly hurt, but very pissed about the things he'd said to her.
Even now, knowing that he hurt her, he didn't regret a word he said. Sure, Elizabeth was in love with Johnny O'Brien, but it was more so the man she'd created in her head, than the one that existed. Or maybe it was the person he was before he left Port Charles, but it was so obvious that he wasn't that man anymore, and she was too stubborn to see it.
The stubborn part didn't surprise Jason very much. She'd always been persistent and determined to an extreme; so much that he worried would lead her towards self-destruction. It was no secret that she was used to getting what she wanted, he and Johnny always made sure of it, but this was different.
Jason couldn't make Johnny love her anymore than Elizabeth could, and he honestly didn't know if he wanted O'Brien to love her. She had such a fixed image of their friend in her head that she was incapable of seeing what was really in front of her. She'd fallen for the alcoholic womanizer, not the sober, smart businessman he'd returned to Port Charles as, and he couldn't understand why she wanted the old Johnny back.
It wasn't much of an adjustment for him to see his friend in a new light. Johnny was finally the person Jason always wanted him to become; responsible, hard-working, and serious, but still able to have a good time. Elizabeth could only see the change, not the good that came from it.
He shifted against his headboard when thunder shook his penthouse again, and decided to give in and call Elizabeth. He'd been expecting her all night long, and it didn't matter if she didn't come, just as long as she was with someone. Swearing, he tossed his phone down beside him when her voicemail picked up, feeling more worried than anything.
Shaking his head, he settled back against the headboard and adjusted his book in his lap. She was a grown woman and capable of braving a storm on her own. After all, Elizabeth was the one that pointed out that she didn't need to come to Jason for everything. He never realized by trying to be there that he'd overstepped his boundaries in some way, and that was the least of his intentions. Like Johnny, all he wanted to do was take care of her, especially since no one else in her life ever had.
His eyes snapped to the doorway of his bedroom when he heard the door open downstairs. Seconds later, it closed softly, the lock clicking into place, followed by the sound of Elizabeth swearing as she shrugged off her jacket and kicked off her heels. He would have smiled had he not been so frustrated with her. Turning his attention back to the book, he flipped another page, listening as she made her way up the stairs, her feet light against the hardwood floors.
He stiffened when he peeked out of the corner of his eye and saw her leaning against his doorway. Closing the book, he tilted his head in her direction, and for a while they just looked at one another. Her rain-soaked curls were plastered to her cheeks and forehead, and her usually bright blue eyes, were darkened by the sadness that filled her face. She chewed her lower lip intently, taking deep breaths before she spoke.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, tugging at the hem of her dark green t-shirt that was damp in some places, no doubt from the downpour outside. "I'm so sorry, Jason."
"I know," he replied, sitting up as she crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry that I lied to you," she continued, pulling at her t-shirt in the places that it clung to her skin. "I should have never…" She shrugged, pushing her wet curls away from her face and lifting her eyes to his.
"I know," he repeated, tossing the book down on his nightstand as he got up from the bed. He crossed the room to his dresser, pulled open a drawer and grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Walking back over to her, he held them out. "Here. You better get dried off."
She nodded dumbly, taking the clothes as she stood up. "Jason," she murmured, grabbing his wrist when he started to walk away. He cleared his throat, glancing down at her hand before looking her in the eye. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Neither did I," he replied, moving to hold her hand in his. "Just…Never again, Elizabeth."
She nodded, her eyes turning darker when she frowned at him. "I promise," she said, pulling away and heading to his bathroom. She shut the door tightly behind her, even flicking the lot, and Jason continued to feel guilty.
He didn't know how to not be mad at her, and at the same time, he wanted anything except that. There was no doubt in his mind that she was sorry or that she regretted it, and he hated the idea of her feeling bad about this.
There was a crack of lightning, followed by a loud boom of thunder, and the lights flickered for a few seconds before going off completely. A loud crash filled the darkness and Elizabeth swore loudly from within the bathroom.
"Elizabeth, are you okay?" he asked, starting across the room.
"Fine, I just hate-" Thunder cracked again, drowning her out, but Jason knew what she had said.
She hated thunderstorms more than anyone else he'd ever met – and with good reasoning.
"Jason?" she called out, sounding panicked as she rattled the doorknob. "Jason, the door's stuck!"
"One second," he said, reaching through the shadowy room for the door.
"Jason!" she shouted, her hand knocking softly on the other side of the door as the storm roared on outside.
"It's okay," he replied, gripping the handle and shoving himself against the door, and swearing when it didn't budge.
"Jason, please hurry," she murmured, her voice softer this time, and he could tell she was ready to cry.
"Stand back from the door." He braced himself against the handle and threw all his bodyweight against the door, causing it to fly open as another boom of thunder shook the walls.
"I'm sorry," she said, the bathroom filling with a flash of lightning, allowing him to briefly get a look at her. She was pressed up against the wall with her head in her hands wearing only his t-shirt. "I just…I hate this."
"It's okay," Jason replied, reaching out and stroking her arm with the back of his hand.
"Son of a bitch," Elizabeth cried, jumping towards him as the storm raged on. She gripped his t-shirt in her hands as he slid his arms around her. "God, I just…I can't forget."
"I know," he said, smoothing one of his hands over her wet curls as she pressed her face into his chest, letting out a tiny whimper. "It's okay...You're safe. Come on." He pulled her towards the bedroom, rubbing his hand up and down her back as she clung to his side. He was used to this routine having been through it several times in the last year.
Last fall, several months after Johnny had left, Elizabeth showed up on his doorstep one night during a thunderstorm. She'd walked from her apartment, and by the time she made it to the penthouse, she was soaked to the bone and shivering. She was the most distraught that Jason had ever seen her, and it had taken nearly two hours for him to get her to tell him what was wrong.
Jason was so worried he'd been half-tempted to call Johnny, but Elizabeth finally broke down and told him that storms reminded her of Jason Quartermaine's accident. She sat beside him on the couch, hugging her knees with a blanket draped around her shoulders, as she told him everything with Jason's encouragement. It was obvious she didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but all he'd cared about in that moment was letting her do whatever she needed to feel better. He'd already heard his family's retelling of what had happened, but hearing it from Elizabeth tore at his heart.
She recalled the party his family had thrown for his pending graduation, how AJ had played the role he was most privy to; the jealous, selfish brother, and how he spent the night drinking and making snide comments.
She told him how AJ and Jason fought in the foyer of the Quartermaine mansion, trading jabs and lashing out against one another. And how AJ had torn from the house in a rage of fury, only to be followed by his baby brother seconds later.
It was the sounds of the whole night that she said were the most vivid. How the storm boomed outside the house while one raged inside as well, only to pour into the streets when AJ steered the family Bentley into a tree half a block down the road. She described the sound of glass breaking and the crunch of metal; how it reverberated over the storm, echoing around every single person in the house, who knew without a doubt that AJ had done devastating damage.
Jason held her as she cried, while she revisited this painful memory, one that he would later realize never seemed to go away, and ultimately, that night changed everything between them. It was the first night that Elizabeth had needed him and come to him in desperation, and in a way, it was one of the first nights that she trusted him. She always had, but only with Johnny's presence, and that night forced her to open up to him in a way she never had, a way Jason was sure, she never imagined she would.
"You okay?" he asked, sliding his comforter over her tiny form. He could barely make her out in the dark, but somehow their eyes and hands found one another's.
"Yeah, I just…I freaked out like always," she replied, tightening her hold on his hands. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I kept wondering where you were."
"Oh," she said, sounding surprised that he'd worried about her. "Well, I went out with Ritchie for dinner. I thought I could just hang out with him, but...I had him drop me off here afterwards...I didn't know if I should come here…I was afraid you were still upset."
"I'm not," Jason replied seriously, lifting one of his hands to her face and combing his fingers through her wet, tangled curls.
"Good," she whispered, shifting on the mattress and settling her head against the pillow.
He nodded, continuing to stroke his fingers through her hair. "You know you can always come here, Elizabeth."
She rolled onto her back, her hand still clutching his. "I know," she said softly, and he didn't have to see her face to know she was smiling through the darkness.