AN: To be fair, in case people don't end up liking my version of Kanako, she's a fairly minor character in the series to my knowledge thus far (I haven't gotten too far in the light novels to see if she becomes more important) but I hope she's a character that everybody can love, or at least enjoy. I think she's pretty funny every time she shows up and does something in the canon series.
And 1.22k Views of this story after it was updated with chapter 10? Man you guys are awesome!
Begin!
"Miuraaaaaaaaa!"
"So sorry taichou! There must have been some sort of accident! Actually Ayase-chan wanted me to pair you up with her, and I must have dragged the wrong name into the name-tag card while I was hacked into the school system! I'm so sorry!"
"Theres a marijuana operation twenty miles off that we were gonna go and shut down! That's the point of us being here! How many windows must I provide?!"
"I'm sorry!" Miura cried out as I twisted his arm behind his back, "We're only setting the equipment up! We can still pull this off!"
I sighed.
"ITAI! Don't give me an indian burn taichou!"
"The plan was Akagi and I carry equipment over because we can both carry all the bags at once! Now it's gonna be just Akagi, which means at least three trips cuz his stamina isn't as high as mine. Two if you help, but your body gives out after too much work. Do you really think you can carry a 130lb bag for thirteen miles, do you? While running?"
"...N-no... but taichou?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we not be doing this in a porta-potty?"
"Why would anybody wanna stick close to a porta-potty? Think about it. For a smart guy you're surprisingly dull sometimes."
"I could say the same to you taich-OOOW!"
"Bah. I'll just have to take a bag with me when we head over to the compound at 3 AM. I expect you to help get the third bag over though. It's punishment for your idiocy."
"H-hai. Now could you please stop hurting me?"
"Geez you big baby." I opened the door and pushed out Miura, "Just get out, useless."
Three girls stared at us.
"E-excuse us."
I can hear my reputation shattering...
"Miura..."
"LET ME LIVE TAICHOUUUUUUUUUU!"
"URASAI! YOU'RE DEAD!"
I walked back to the campground with whispers of a 'BL' scandal going on.
"K-kyou-chan."
"Oh hey Manami. W-what's up?"
"Wh-what's all this talk about you and M-Miura-san?"
"Ah that?" Come on! Think Kyousuke! "Miura was supposed to do something for me. You know how he was one of the people that helped plan the event, right? I wanted to not have to go do the Test of Courage game. I've seen a few too many horror films recently and I don't really fancy walking into a dark forest where people are trying to scare you."
"A-ah! So that's what it is! You've always been bad with horror films Kyou-chan!"
"P-please don't say that out so loudly. It's really uncool of me."
"But you are! Remember when we saw Dark Mushroom as kids?"
"GAH! You swore to never bring that up again!"
This, of course, set off more whispers.
"Ah, Kousaka-kun's afraid of horror films? That's actually cute!"
"Yeah, imagine having to hold his hand in a dark theater while he's shaking like a little rabbit!"
"Kyaaa! Or clings to your arm subconsciously?!"
"Totally! A cool guy getting all shy and scared is the cutest thing ever!"
W-what am I a pet?!
"H-HEY! I'm right here! What am I, a girl?!"
The group of girls giggled and ran. Ugh. The news would have spread through camp within a quarter hour. To be honest, it's better this than rumors of BL, but... I DIDN'T THINK IT'D HAVE THIS KIND OF EFFECT!
"Manami... you've ruined me..."
"Ah ha ha..." Manami chuckled nervously as she scratched her head. "I'm sorry Kyou-chan."
"I'm... going... to kill... Miura..."
Wait...
Miura uses this as an excuse to remain unseen by the camp to avoid my 'blind fury' and Akagi can 'disappear' looking for Miura but the two go and drop off the equipment and set up the surveillance system until it's 'safe' for Miura to appear late at night without overly tiring out anybody! This is what they call an opportunity of chance, isn't it! Ah ha! My bullshitting saves the day!
"Ano... Kyou-chan? Are you ok? You're leaned over funny."
"Ah, I'm fine. I just had a good thought to how I'd hurt Miura, then I lost it."
"I was worried that Kyou-chan had some bad hot-pot and thought that maybe everyone would have gotten a bug from it, but looks like everything is fine."
"...you really are like a granny, Manami."
"Kyou-chan!"
"It was a compliment this time, you know."
"Ah!" Manami turned a pretty shade of red. "You shouldn't compliment me with a line you tease with Kyou-chan."
"Sorry, sorry. It's just that it's true you know."
"He he. Thanks Kyou-chan."
As touching as this scene was, behind a nearby tree was Kirino and Ayase, glaring in our direction. I couldn't hear their full conversation, but it went something like this:
"Jeez, Kyou-baka's really an oblivious flirt, huh? Stupid Neighbor-girl..."
"Ku. This 'Neighbor-girl' person's a formidable enemy."
"What's so great about aniki anyways?..."
"Eh? But you like him too Kirino-chan."
"W-WHAT?! You should get your eyes checked Ayase, you might be coming down with some disease."
"He he. You really do get very shy when it's about your onii-chan, Kirino-chan."
"D-don't be stupid! There's no way I'd like someone like Kyou-baka..."
"Huh? Where'd they go?"
"Don't tell me they disappeared while we were talking!"
"B-but if they were headed back to camp they'd have had to walk by us! That means..."
"...they went further in..."
Which wasn't true. Manami did head back, but she didn't notice the girls because she was spacing out for one reason or another. On the other hand I was leaning against the other side of the tree trunk, just listening and smirking.
"Don't tell me Kyou-baka and Neighbor-girl are d-doing this and that..."
"That can't be! Somebody else taking Kyousuke onii-chan's first? Th-that big-breasted plain looking girl must actually be a succubus!"
"A real seductress that one. Tch! I thought Kyou-baka had more self control than that... He's a beast! An animal! I've lost all respect for him!"
I don't think you had much respect for me to begin with, imouto.
"B-but w-we should go and make sure right? I-if onii-chan's really doing that we should go see... and then stop them! It's our responsibility! Then we have to punish that Neighbor-girl for laying her filthy hands on onii-chan..."
M-maybe I shouldn't have hid in secret. Manami's life might actually be in danger at this rate!
"W-we should but thats gross! I don't want to see my stupid hentai siscon of a brother having s-s-s... th-that with anybody!"
Then Ayase said something very quietly and softly so that I barely picked it up and made me decide to hop into action soon. Obviously Kirino didn't hear this at all.
"A-at least I might be able to join in for a threesome, right? Right? I'll have to kill her for touching onii-chan later, b-but to think of onii-chan's big thing inside of me... ufuufuufuufuu..."
Oh kami... I gotta stop this.
As the two crept around the tree I sighed. They were so preoccupied with their thoughts that they didn't even notice me.
I pulled both of them by the backs of the shirts they were wearing, both of which was still mine, by the way, and lifted them off the ground just slightly.
"KYAA!"
"So... where are you two sneaking off to?
"K-Kyousuke onii-chan! H-how much of that did you hear?!"
"Just about everything? I think? Even down to the mumbling, really."
Ayase turned a brighter shade of red than her friend Kanako's hair.
"What are the two of you doing here anyways?"
"B-baka! That's none of your business! Let me down!"
I let their feet reach the ground, but I kept my grip on the shirts.
"Tell me or I'll punish you. I heard the things you two said about Manami, but you need to own up to your mistakes and then go apologize. Don't make me spank you like when you and Kuroneko had the argument over your novels."
"Th-that's! You wouldn't dare!"
"Oh? It's quiet enough so that I could make it echo and out of the ways enough so I could stop before people see, but close enough that they'd have a good idea of what I was doing. Also meaning you can't yell and complain too much right now or they'll come rushing over to see the commotion. I'm not gonna not discipline you just because there's an audience."
"K-Kyousuke onii-chan no ecchi... b-but doing a thing like that would be cruel! I-if you have to punish anybody... I-I'm confident that I can keep my voice down."
"...there's no use even trying to punish you, is there, Ayase-kohai..."
I thought yandere were generally more often sadists, not masochists... to you that'd be some sort of reward, really.
"A-Ayase-chan! I won't let you lay a hand on her! Kyouske-no-hentai!"
I... truly am the king of misunderstandings today.
"I was kidding about the spanking you two, calm down. But you have to go apologize to Manami about the things you said about her. I don't need apologies from you two because I know what you two are like. That and Kirino would never apologize to me ever. Promise you'll go and apologize to Manami right now."
"I-I promise."
"Louder and more sincerely."
"I promise!" they cried out together.
I sighed.
"Ok you two, I've made you both sweat enough. Go and apologize. And Ayase? Tell Miura that he better get the shit we need and run cuz I'm going to be chasing his ass down." Miura was smart, he probably had some to the same window of opportunity replacement idea that I had and this only issue was finding me without getting his ass whooped.
I suppose this was a win-win situation.
Ayase nodded, seeming to understand the situation.
I smiled then patted both girls on the head, rubbing them affectionately.
Wow... their hair is really soft...
URK! I mean, erm. Ahem. H-hey, by the looks of it, I wasn't the only one enjoying the head patting. Even Kirino was flushed and she sure wasn't flushed out of anger this time.
"Ok, get going you two."
"Hai."
Now... just how was I going to deal with the Test of Courage? I'm fine with the dark and fighting in the dark and even being surprised, but those situations are different from students and teachers posing as ghosts, demons, and zombies. I just can't take them.
And that Kanako girl seemed to be the most judgemental middle schooler I've ever met... I don't mind being ridiculed, but I don't want it done by a middle school girl! That's just sad!
"Haaah... Looks like I'll just have to man up then."
It wasn't long until the setup for the Test of Courage game was set up, but I dreaded every minute of it. It really didn't help that practically everybody was whispering about my greatest weakness and downfall. A lot of the more spiteful guys were making fun of me endlessly about it, but luckily I had more than enough friends, acquaintances, and admirers that didn't care so much, or at least sympathized with me that they defended me, so it wasn't so bad.
Although I could have done without brazen girls coming up to me and telling me that If I wanted to they could 'protect me' from the scariness of the test.
At least the BL seemed to have been squashed in the light of my imperfections.
"There are three routes to go through the forest, just follow the rope path and don't stray from it! If we have to look for you in the dark, you'll have detentions when we get back to school, and I'm sure none of you want to have that happen." the teacher in charge stated matter-of-factly, "If you're too scared to go on, just don't move, we have people on the trails ready to take you back down. This also applies to you, Kousaka-san."
"Urk..."
"They're teasing you pretty hard, Kousaka-san. You're a lot more popular than Kirino-chan told me you were."
I turned to find Kanako dressed in a light jacket over a formal vest made in a semi-punk style and a red skirt just a shade or two lighter than her hair.
"Mmm. To be fair to her, my parents are much more invested in her well being and status than mine. She is their little girl. It's to be expected and hardly surprising. My dad won't act like it, but Kirino is more precious to him than anything."
"Heh. That's such a goody-goody answer."
"Ha ha! That's one way to put it. To be honest I'd like to life a nice, normal lifestyle. Being exceptional is annoying."
"Che. For such an attractive face, you've got a really uncool attitude. I wonder why Ayase-chan is interested in a bland guy like you. I can't tell who she likes more, you or Kirino-chan."
"You're actually spunkier than I thought you'd be. At least our conversations will be fun enough. Do you do modeling too, Kanako-kun?"
"D-don't refer to me with 'kun'! We barely know each other. You're way too forward."
"I'm just teasing you Kanako-kun, no harm in that."
"You're really friendly too. Without motives. Geez, what kind of blind charisma do you have?"
"The best. Maybe? Probably. You gonna answer my question?"
"I'm guessing Kirino-chan doesn't talk to you too much."
"Mmm. I guess we had a bit of a fallout when we were younger, so I think she has a little trouble opening up to me again, but we talk a lot more now. I'm taking that as a no by the way, and you should try it. You have spirit."
"Is that some kind of a pick-up line?"
"No, an honest opinion."
"Che. You're dangerously perfect. What kind of a weakness is horror movies? Might as well just say you're perfect."
"I don't think I'm perfect, you know."
"Stop answering in that 'perfect' tone then, baka. Only really perfect people say that they're not perfect. It's gross."
"Sorry for being gross then? Were you trying to rile me up? I'm just finding this kind of frank and open conversation to be refreshing. Or was that too perfect of an answer, Kanako-kun?"
"Grrr! Are you making fun of me now?"
"Not at all."
"I-if you say that so seriously, you might actually trick me into believing something like that."
"I think you of all people should know I'm serious."
"W-what's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what I said. It's refreshing to talk to you."
"Kuh! It was fine the first time, but now I'm creeped out and getting goosebumps."
"Ha ha! Well I certainly see where Kirino gets some of her mannerisms from. You two must be good friends. It's nice to know she has a reliable person like you at her side."
"...You're not a siscon are you?"
"Like hell I am. And even if I was would I admit it? What kind of a question is that?"
"You'd be surprised at some of the guys in my class."
"Hmmm. I guess I can understand. My best friend Akagi Kohei is one of the biggest siscons that I've met. So big that he proclaims it publicly. It's kind of a handful to deal with."
"Yeah, people with crazy obsessions are a pain."
We stopped walking to nod together, perfectly in sync before we kept moving forward.
"Still, they're not always bad people."
"Yeah, Ayase-chan might be so close to Kirino-chan that people might suspect her of being a lesbian, but she's a good person."
"Ah- is that so?"
"Yeah, don't people call it 'yuri' or something nowadays? Seriously the weird words Japan comes up with."
"I could talk about how it could be worse, but that'd bore both of us, right Kanako-kun?"
"Hmph. You're too easy to get along with. I... I guess that's not so bad, though."
"Aww, is your crush solidifying?"
"L-like hell it is!"
"But you didn't deny the crush. Interesting."
"J-jerk! I've decided! I don't like you! I don't like you at all!"
"Oh?" I nudged her gently, her back against a tree trunk, my hands glued to the bark just millimeters from her arms, "Are you sure about that? Ka-na-ko-kun?"
Every syllable only gets my face closer to yours Kanako-kun and your face just gets redder.
"W-wha... what're you..."
"He he~ I win the game this time, Kanako-kun! Anymore complaints about how I refer to your name? I've decided that will be my spoils of war this round."
"Baka! What game?!"
"Don't play the game then deny its existence. My, my. Such a sore loser, Kanako-kun."
"GAAAH! YOU'RE ANNOYING! YOU'RE REALLY ANNOYING!"
"Ha ha, sorry, sorry. You're just surprisingly fun to tease Kanako-kun. Hmmm. That's not good though, I almost fell to sadism there which really isn't in my nature. I need to be more careful around you, I think. Come to think of it I've never actually played a game like that with anybody before. That was kinda fun."
"DON'T USE ME AS YOUR GUINEA PIG, DAMMIT!"
"Jeez you're loud. Fine, I'll reward you to make you be quiet."
I patted her on the head, ruffling her hair gently.
"... ... ... ... ... ... ...WAIT! I'M NOT A KID STOP TH-"
Pat. Pat. Pat.
Pat. Pat.
Pat.
"Ok, let's go. Ugh, I'm not looking forward to that test at all." I shivered.
"Ano, Kousaka-san? You walked through the whole course." one of the game moderating students told me.
"Huh?"
"You were too busy talking with Kurusu-san to notice... but you even walked back to the beginning by heading down through a different route."
"Geez. I had no idea. Ha ha! You're really easy to talk to Kanako-kun!"
Pat. Pat. Pat.
"GET YOUR HAND OFF MY HEAD!"
Note to self. Tease Kanako-kun more. But in moderation, too much and I'll probably become an uncontrollable sadist or go around flirting with every girl I meet just to get them to blush.
W-what a dangerous girl. She takes her strange version of tsundere to dangerous levels!
"Baka-aniki! First Ayase-chan, then Kanaka-chan! Stay away from my friends!"
"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to do anything like that originally, Kirino. Teasing her got too fun and I couldn't hold myself back."
"Onii-chan, I know what you're trying to say but it could be interpreted badly."
"Huh? What could be - ah my sentence? Well... erm... oh jeez you're right. I feel like a terrible person all of a sudden and I hadn't even done anything..."
"It's not fair that you don't like teasing me nearly as much though..."
"A-Ayase-chan! What're you saying?!"
"Ah! D-did I say that out loud?! Please erase that from your memories everyone!"
I don't think it works that way, Ayase-kohai. You really need to learn the distinction between thinking and talking to yourself.
"T-taichou... How do you even get such a perfect loli like Kurusu-san?"
"...Miura... I never did get to hurt you for your mistakes earlier." I cracked my knuckles and my neck. "Get ready to repent for your sins."
"W-what are you? Buddah? The Christ? A-Akagi-kun! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
End
Yahoo! Ch 11 COMPLETO! Lols
Well I hope that this chapter brought lots of laughs and was interesting enough. Things will really begin to pick up in chapter twelve unless I have some bout of inspiration that takes me on a different route. ENJOY!
KSLCross