Spectators and reporters considered Klink's testimony, and decided it had ended in a draw for the prosecution and defense. Mason's next move would make or break the case.
The recital of various horrific incidents during Klink's questioning had again left most of the participants drained. Klink was still wondering who he really was. Hogan and Newkirk were sitting dejectedly in their seats trying to forget the past damage done to their bodies, while Carter, who had returned after wiring the tunnels, was still left wondering what had happened to the MASH doctor that was supposed to be caring for him. Hochstetter was chomping at the bit to get the whole matter over and done with. He was not sure if the evidence heard in the courtroom would spill over into his fictional world, but if it did, a whole lot of people were in a whole lot of trouble.
Mason took a deep breath and approached the front of the courtroom. He looked at Judge Harry and made his request. "Judge, I would like to recall Colonel Hogan to the witness stand." Cries erupted from the prisoners' section. Harry quickly quelled the protests.
"He has a right to do that. Colonel Hogan, please make your way up here."
Hogan grabbed the cane Olsen had brought back with him and glumly limped up to the stand. He sat down as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
Mason carefully approached the Colonel. This cross-examination had to be handled delicately; otherwise, it could easily backfire on the defense.
"Colonel Hogan? How long were you in that prison camp?"
"Hogan, Robert E. Colonel. Serial number 087…"
Whoa, he's not doing too good. Mason tried again.
"Colonel, you're not at Gestapo headquarters. How long were you in that prison camp?"
"What?" Hogan realized where he was and responded. "Let's see, three years maybe. Yes, I was shot down in '42, so it would be three years, or 168 episodes."
"You lived with and had close contact with all of these men…" Mason pointed towards the courtroom. "For three long years. You must know a lot about them, don't you? After all, you were their commanding officer. Colonel, what personal details can you divulge about these other characters?"
"Oh, that's easy." Hogan relaxed."Newkirk, he's, well, from England, obviously. Has a sister, Mavis, does magic, worked in the circus, his Mom was a dancer and, oh, yeah, great with chimps. Yep."
Mason was becoming amused. "Please continue."
"LeBeau, well he's gone to the ER, his appendix burst, I think. Great cook. Loves France. Can't think of a better patriot. Is he married?" Hogan looked at the prisoners for help. "I could have sworn he mentioned a wife once. But he likes that Russian woman." Hogan grimaced. "Loves dogs, and he can drive a train backwards! And Kinch; what a boxer! Name is really Kinchloe, first name James. Came from Detroit and worked for the phone company; great impersonator. Carter, he worked at a pharmacy and took some business courses." Carter nodded. "Had a girlfriend named Mary Jane, but that didn't work out. Oh, and he's, 'Little Deer Who Goes Swift And Sure Through the Forest.'"
"What about the Germans, Colonel?"
"Let's see. Schultz, he's married, owned a toy factory, and I think he's a Social Democrat. Right, Schultz? Met his wife once; lovely woman, lives in Heidelberg. Klink plays the violin in an ensemble. Both were in the First World War. Graduated 43rd in his class at the gymnasium, I heard. Anything else?"
"No, that's plenty Colonel. And yourself? Mason asked. "Who are you, exactly?"
"Me?" Hogan laughed. "Well, there's not much to tell, really. Number three in my class, but you must know that. Lots of shiny medals. Commander of 504th bomber group. Shot down over Hamburg by Biedenbender. Oh, I have a friend named Roberts, uh…" Where am I from again? Crap.
"I see. Thank you. You don't know much, do you, Colonel Hogan? How sad."
"Yeah," Hogan agreed. "I guess you can say that is a little weird."
"Judge, these characters were drawn with very little depth. They are one-dimensional and were designed to reflect certain stereotypes and personality traits. In six seasons, no character development was evident. But…then fan fiction came along. And now, the characters are given personalities, backgrounds, and motivation. War is treated in the way it should be, not as a game or a lighthearted romp, but as a dramatic, tragic event. These writers, sir, have done us and these characters a great service!" Mason paused for dramatic effect. He changed his voice. Calmly and quietly he surveyed the participants and spectators.
"I'll start with you." He pointed to Schultz. "Sergeant Schultz, owner of a toy factory, father to five wonderful children, one a son named Oskar. You have two brothers, one good and one, well, we won't go there. Your wife Gretchen is indeed a lovely woman, isn't she? But she is also brave, resourceful and righteous, is she not?" Schultz nodded while reaching for a handkerchief to blow his nose. "Yes, I understand she takes care of those less fortunate, at great risk to her own personal safety!" Mason excused himself for a moment and whispered something to the judge.
Harry nodded and said, "I understand. Please continue." (1)
"And you, my dear Sergeant. You can show bravery as well. You've protected not only your Kommandant, but the prisoners."
"Yes, my boys. That's true." Shultz again blew his nose.
"Major Hochstetter!"
"What?"
"Please don't growl, Major. You're close to your mother, aren't you? Ah, I see you are fond of Christmas trees, Major."
"So, what of it, Mason?"
"Just showing some character development there. I see a close friendship in the past. The two of you were rascals at age twelve, weren't you? Oh, and you had a girlfriend, didn't you? You can love and be loved."
Everyone in the courtroom went, "Aah."
"Bah!" Hochstetter turned away.
"I'm sorry, Major. You lost her; she was killed in a hotel during an air raid. Perhaps you are unaware that you are also a father?"
"Poor guy." Carter was tearing up. "He doesn't know she was an agent and her death was faked."
"Carter, are you nuts?" Kinch hit him on the shoulder.
Mason looked for his next victim. "Sergeant Carter!"The courtroom started buzzing. A main character was next on the block. "Or should I say Lieutenant Carter? Ladies and Gentlemen, Andrew here is so loyal and determined, that he was willing to take a demotion in order to assist Colonel Hogan with his operation!"
The defense attorney waited for the murmurs to die down. "Yes, and that's not all. Carter is fond of animals and will do almost anything to rescue them. Surprisingly, the boy can cook, and makes a great cherry pie. He has a large, close family, whose members pass an empty box back and forth between themselves, underscoring the fact that family and love is more important than anything. And your relationships, Carter? You aren't as naïve as you appear to be. Andrew will do what it takes to make his friends forget their pain, won't you, including pretending to be a screw-up? You helped Newkirk through a few rough times, haven't you? Despite his ribbing, you are the closest of friends."
Hogan watched with interest and awe as Carter and Newkirk began to cry on each other's shoulders.
"Maddox, where are you?" The soldier stood up and nervously muttered, "Here, sir."
"Ah, yes. The wildlife expert. Maddox rescued and kept a family of skunks underneath the tunnels."
Maddox sheepishly smiled. Even Hogan laughed. He had almost run headlong into a disaster, but he too had a soft spot for wildlife.
This is great. Judge Harry was impressed. Bull was searching for some Kleenex. Riker was both appalled and mesmerized at the same time.
Mason was just getting started. He was on a roll. "Corporal Langenscheidt! Where are you?" Mason spied him at the back of the room. "Oh, there you are. Well, aren't you interesting?" The Corporal gulped. He had accompanied Schultz to the courthouse to help guard the prisoners and had disappeared into the woodwork. "I see you are the youngest of twelve siblings. Wow! Eleven sisters? You must be fond of all of your nieces and nephews." Langenscheidt nodded. "Tsk, I am so sorry about your father being killed in the First World War."
"Poor bloke." Newkirk was fond of the shy corporal.
"You have a very close friend that you miss terribly, don't you?" Mason could now see that Langenscheidt was terrified and wanted to reassure him. "That's all, son, I won't embarrass you any further."
The corporal slid down the wall in relief.
"And now let's turn to our poor, sick, Corporal LeBeau, shall we? Fought bravely for the Free French before being captured. Showed tremendous loyalty at the end of the war. Did you know that as a Frenchman, Corporal LeBeau could have been one of the first POW's repatriated due to DeGaulle's agreement with Eisenhower, but instead he chose to remain with his friends and C.O. in order to assist in demolishing the tunnels and closing up shop? LeBeau has an uncle named Jean and a niece named Suzette, and of course we all know what he decides to do after the war."
"Open up a restaurant!" This was said in unison by everyone in the courtroom.
"And our Corporal LeBeau has a secret, a very important secret. Excuse me." Mason again walked over to Harry and whispered something in his ear. Harry nodded and motioned for him to continue. LeBeau's closest friends from Barracks two knew what the secret was and they in turn began to tear up, again. (2)
"Kommandant Klink!" Mason was afraid the officer had fled, but was relieved to still see him sitting by Burkhalter and Hochstetter. "Well, now. We've already discussed your character development, but we are also now aware that you have a brother and a mother. You run an un-segregated camp, Kommandant, and you see past people's appearances and nationalities. I have it on good authority from one of the authors that you can act like a gentlemen, and are a good dancer. You were close friends with an elderly gentlemen who has unfortunately since disappeared, and I'm sorry to report the loss of your nephew in an air raid. My condolences, Kommandant. Oh, and you too have another secret."(3) Mason traipsed back over to the judge and again whispered in his ear. Klink held out his hand and waited for Schultz to hand him a handkerchief. He and his sergeant were both crying.
Mason decided to stay on the German side of the courtroom. "Let's look at General Burkhalter, shall we?"
"Hurry up and get this over with." Burkhalter was fed up and very hungry.
"You have a sister and a niece, but we already know that. But what we didn't know is that your sister, Frau Linkmeyer, has done a very brave and courageous thing, hasn't she? She's been working for the Allies."
Everyone started talking and looking around.
"Oh, don't worry." Mason laughed. "She's long gone. Safely tucked away in England, I believe. Now, I know, General, that you're not really happy about this…"
I'm not? Burkhalter was still slightly confused.
"Oh well, never mind. Let's continue with the Allies, shall we? Sergeant Olsen?"
"Here!" Olsen was as cocky as always.
"Enjoying your nice house in town? What do you actually do outside of the Stalag, besides hosting fan fiction authors? Never mind, you're quite busy. You do show up in a lot of these stories, don't you? And when you do, you're quite the soldier. You should be proud of him, Colonel. I'd call him the 5th hero, wouldn't you?"
Hogan, who, like the others, was looking for a handkerchief, stopped, looked at Olsen, and offered the sergeant a salute.
"Let's move on, shall we?" Mason was enjoying himself. He regretted that the hearing was not being video-taped. "Corporal Newkirk has a sister named Mavis. We knew that, but what we now know is that Mavis works for the War Department in London. You are proud of her, aren't you Peter?"
"That's my Mavis," Newkirk said. "We watch out for each other."
"More than you know, Peter. You're a jack of all trades, Newkirk. But what will it be at the end of the war? Show business or a pub? We do know that you helped rebuild the Palladium. Oh, and you might be happy to know that you get to tell all about your adventures to your grandchildren. You appreciate the talent of others, particularly when it comes to playing the cello, and you are willing to risk your life to save others; in one case, civilians."
Newkirk's emotions were on overload. He missed his sister and his mum. He had heard the word grandchildren, and he was constantly being reminded of the experience in the castle with that lunatic. He turned back to Carter and continued crying.
Throughout the entire proceedings, Kinch had been staring stoically forward, not moving a muscle. He was a private man, and did not want his life story being thrown about the court for all to hear. He was tired of seeing his friend, and that's how he saw Hogan, suffering, while at the same time trying to make command decisions. And he was tired of bearing the burden of being second in command. Kinch was almost ready to use some of his boxing skills on the irritating defense attorney, but, as always, he was able to keep his temper in check.
Mason was not done. "Sergeant Kinchloe. You are Colonel Hogan's second in command. Usually seen downstairs on the radio. But we now know you came into Germany already speaking fluent French and German. You have a family back home in Detroit; Joseph is your younger brother. Despite racial injustice, you managed to join a bomber crew and fulfill your potential, partially because of good men who fight injustice and see past color; men like Colonel Hogan and the officers back at your base. Isn't that right, Sergeant?"
Kinch looked at Mason. He shrugged and said, "I do my part."
"You're too modest," Mason replied.
"True," Hogan agreed.
Mason took a breath. He was almost done.And now for the pièce de résistance. "Colonel Hogan, let's conclude this, shall we?"
"Get on with it Mason, the Colonel's having problems again." Riker was not only concerned for Hogan's health, but he was seeing his case go up in smoke.
"Colonel Hogan is more than an officer with lots of shiny medals and a cool jacket. He graduated from West Point."
"Ooh!" This came from the spectators.
"Lived in Connecticut. Flew for Britain before the United States entered the war. You like to play practical jokes on people, don't you, Colonel?"
This got the prisoners laughing, while Hogan blushed.
"You come from a well-off but down to earth family. I see you are very close to your parents, Colonel."
"My mom makes the best pot roast." He sniffed.
"Yes, I know. Your father is either a doctor or a WW1 vet and you have siblings. Did you lose your brother in the Pacific?"
Hogan nodded.
"I'm so sorry," Mason responded. "You dote on your nieces and nephews, but in addition, you also have children and grandchildren. Yes, in fact, you take your son to visit Klink after the war. Speaking of which, it seems that you and the Kommandant here have very long life spans, because you both witnessed the fall of the Berlin Wall."
Wall? Hogan and Klink looked at each other in confusion.
"Does that mean we all survive this mess?" Carter whispered this to Kinch.
"Don't know," he whispered back. "At least the Colonel does."
"And the reason you speak German like a native," Mason was rambling on, "Is because your mother's side comes from Germany."
"I knew it!" Both Hochstetter and Klink spoke at the same time.
"There's more," Mason said, "Shall I continue?"
"No, please, stop," Hogan pleaded.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize how emotional this would be." Of course Mason did, that was the point. He had managed in several minutes to turn the entire courtroom into a blubbering mass of overwrought soldiers. Even the judge was crying.
"Judge, I'm done with Colonel Hogan. I rest my case."
"Commander Riker? Any questions for the Colonel?" Harry grabbed another Kleenex.
I'd better have a good closing argument. Riker did not have any more questions for Colonel Hogan. He helped him down from the stand, carefully slipping a small disc into his pocket, as he took him back to the prisoners' benches.
Judge Harry called for a recess and instructed the counselors to return back for closing arguments in one hour.
(1) The Schultz family hides Jewish refugees
(2)LeBeau is Jewish, obviously. One story has LeBeau reassuring another prisoner that he will attend a service and that with his participation, they will make a Minyan. (In the Orthodox tradition, 10 Jewish men over the age of 13 are required for a communal religious service)
(3)Klink has also helped Jewish refugees. In one story, he was being blackmailed for helping Jewish children get out of Germany.
A/N If the details in footnotes 1 and 2, are not exactly right, I apologize, but hopefully the readers will get the idea. After Klink's outburst in the previous chapter, Mason wisely decided to keep these details quiet.