Chapter Eleven: Wheeljack

Keep calm. Gotta keep calm. Oh, slag, it's everywhere, he's losing it too fast—

I held the minibot in my arms tighter—as if I could stop the cascade of energon from flowing out of his injuries through force of will alone—and hurried back the way I had come.

Halfway there, a muffled noise from above made me pause and look up. The mass of webbing around Upwash took only a moment to cut away with one of my swords. She dropped to the ground and pushed herself onto unsteady pedes, ignoring the energon leaking out of gashes in her legs and arms in favor of the minibot.

"Freeloader—oh, frag—Wheeljack, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let him—this is my fault, I—how did you—"

"I heard him sneak out," I answered, motioning with my helm for her to follow me. "The ground bridge controls still had your coordinates in them when I started after you two."

"Does anyone on base know we're out here?" she asked as we reached the spot where the bridge had dropped me. I stopped dead in my tracks. A wry smile slipped over her face for a moment. "You and I are too much alike sometimes. No wonder Ratchet gets so frustrated." She raised a servo to her comm. "I'll ping him and Prime. They keep their recharge linked into emergency comm frequencies."

While she concentrated, I looked Freeloader's injuries over. It was bad. He stirred in my hold as I used one servo to pull a wad of steel wool from my subspace and press it into the hole in his chest.

"...'Jack…" Static filled his voice when he tried to speak.

"Not now, short stuff," I said gruffly. "Save your strength." The awful wound going down his back plating was beyond my limited field dressing ability. If I could just stop the energon from getting out there, maybe—oh, Primus, on the other side—his tank—

"...'Jack..." He wouldn't shut up. "I'm… I'm sorry…"

"Apologize later," I barked, "when I can spend the rest of your life rubbing it in your face."

Upwash was pacing back and forth behind me, speaking rapidly into her comm. "Yes—yes—no—yes—"

The ground bridge spun to life in front of us. We dashed through to find Prime and Ratchet waiting for us.

"Lay him on the berth," the medic ordered. I set Freeloader where he directed and stepped back. As Ratchet got to work, I tore myself away and focused on Upwash, who was quickly welding temporary patches over her own injuries with a practiced servo.

"He won't let me help until I'm stable," she said in answer to the questioning look that I gave her. "Here, seal up this last patch for me."

The moment of work help ease my nerves a little. As soon as I'd finished, she hurried over to stand across from Ratchet and follow his orders as they worked on Freeloader. I watched from where I was, knowing that I'd be more of a hindrance than a help.

"Wheeljack." I turned around when Prime said my name, ready to be told off. He placed a servo on my shoulder, looking at me with an expression that was serious even for him. "It will be all right."

I cycled my optics in surprise. "Yeah… thanks."

"I made the right choice when I placed Freeloader in your care," he continued. "You've shown me that tonight."

"But Prime," I protested, "this is my fault. I should have followed him sooner. Pit, I shouldn't have let him slip out at all."

"What's done is done, Wheeljack, and I have a feeling that this will lead to healing of more than just the physical variety."

"What do you... never mind." Cryptic, philosophical statements were kind of Prime's thing, after all. I wasn't sure that I'd want to hear his answer.

Prime seemed to follow my line of thought. He patted my shoulder before drawing away and heading down the habitation hall, calling back, "I will retrieve Bulkhead and Arcee for the day's first patrol. No need to crowd the med bay."

I sat on the ledge by the human catwalk to wait for Ratchet and Upwash to finish working on Freeloader. Kliks blurred into breems. At some point, Bumblebee joined me in a flurry of questions about the events of last night. I answered the ones I could and promised to make Upwash explain the rest when she was free.

Finally, Ratchet declared the minibot stable. He wiped the energon from his servos, cycled his vents, and rounded on the flier who had been assisting him in the repairs.

"What the frag were you thinking, Upwash?" His volume rose with every word. "How could you betray our trust like this? Sneaking out of the base on your first night as a probationary Autobot! Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you—"

"I know," she interrupted, speaking quietly and with no small amount of trembling in her voice. "It was stupid. Incredibly stupid. We're lucky to be alive at all, and it's my fault for letting my feelings get the drop on me."

"Why did you two go out?" I asked.

Ratchet chimed in. "What made you allow this to happen?"

Upwash hesitated, hugging herself and looking down at Freeloader where he lay on the medical berth. "Freeloader wanted… You see, he… You know, maybe he should tell you himself. When he's better."

"Upwash…" Ratchet's tone held a warning.

She ex-vented. "It was a revenge mission. He found out from Knock Out yesterday that Breakdown was offlined by Airachnid. Knock Out told Freeloader where it had happened, and he wanted me to bridge him there so he could hunt her down."

/So why'd you agree to do it? And why'd you go with him?/

Wings jerked upwards indignantly. Red optics glared. "Breakdown was my friend, too, you know! He was everyone's friend! I couldn't just stand there and let his killer get away, especially when I was able to help catch her. No one could. I used the frequency that Ratchet and I discovered to pinpoint her life signal, and we went after that backstabbing glitch together." She ex-vented, unable to hold her angry posture for long. "Well, you can see how well that turned out for us. She got the jump on me, and we tried to fight her as a duo, but she had me strung up faster than you could say 'Megatron's rusted undercarriage.' Freeloader chased after her, and there was silence for a while, and then this awful staticky screaming started far off, and Wheeljack ran past under me, too fast for me to get his attention, and then the screaming stopped, and then there was an explosion, which I'm assuming was Wheeljack's grand entrance—"

"Guilty as charged," I interjected.

"—and after that he walked under me, going the other way and carrying Freeloader, and I got his attention, and he cut me free, and you all know the rest. I'm sorry. It's my fault, and I accept full responsibility." She slumped down to sit by Freeloader on the berth, waiting for the verdict.

Ratchet cycled his vocalizer twice before speaking. "Upwash, what you did was reckless and foolhardy. But it came from a place of caring, and I cannot fault you for that. How this affects your future with us is up to Optimus, but for what it's worth… I'm proud that you've taken ownership of your actions."

I glanced over at Bee as Upwash embraced our medic. He shrugged. It wasn't our business what went on between them, right? Right.

"Now, let me treat those lacerations properly," Ratchet was saying, pulling the flier further into the med bay to sit.

Bee and I waited by Freeloader in silence. The scout patted my shoulder before leaving to go on patrol with Bulkhead, who stopped by on his way out to give me a quick hug and rub the powered-down minibot's helm. Even Arcee brought a cube of energon over and sat with me for a few kliks later in the day. Everyone seemed to be extra careful around me, like the med bay was a minefield and I was the sole remaining mine that might go off at any moment. I wasn't sure why they saw it that way, but I also wasn't sure why I hadn't moved from my place since sitting down the night before.

So Breakdown was offline. No one who knew had broken the news to Bulkhead yet. Prime was waiting to hear the full story until Freeloader could give his side, so we had agreed without having to discuss it that it should be left for when everything could be aired at once. I think it was mostly because no one wanted to see Bulk grieving just yet. It was going to be almost as hard a day for everyone else as it would be for him.

I sorted through memories in my processor, smiling at some and wincing at others. Breaks was a good mech. I'd let myself forget. He and Bulk and me: we'd had our moments. Trashing 'Cons, lobbing in the Wrecker base until Springer threatened to put us in separate brig cells, teasing Seaspray about the organic hangers-on he inevitably gathered on every mission… I'd taken it almost as badly as Bulk had when he left, to be honest. I'd just kept it inside. Bitterness wasn't the half of it. I missed him. His desertion hadn't been my reason for leaving the Wreckers, but it may have been the start of that road I went down.

A slight movement in front of me caught my gaze. The minibot on the medical berth onlined his optics and looked around. The dim red glow brightened when his gaze landed on me. His mouth moved, but it took him a few tries to get any sound out.

"'Jack?"

I winced at the still-staticky tone of his voice. "Hey, short stuff. How're you feeling?"

"...Heavy. Kind of hurts... almost kind of hurts… 'sall fuzzy." He shifted to face me. "Did she… get away?"

"Yeah."

"Too bad… you could've taken her..."

"Probably." I shrugged, but I was thinking the same thing. I wished I had had the time to take the fragger down, but… "I had more important things to do."

"Like saving my aft?"

"Yeah. Important things like that." I got a tired little grin in response.

"Thanks. For that." The static was clearing a little more each time he spoke, and he didn't look so exhausted anymore. Good.

"Just doing my job, short stuff."

One of his servos reached in my direction. Automatically, I took it.

"'M sorry," he mumbled. "Shouldn't have run off without telling you—"

"I know why you did it," I interrupted. "Upwash told me. It's okay. I get it. Pit, if I'd known, I might've gone with you two. Bulk definitely would've. Still might, when he finds out. What I'm saying is it's fine. Really, I'm not mad. I don't think anyone is, not even the Hatchet. I mean, we couldn't expect you to trust us, and we were just asking for something like this to happen when we—"

"No, no, I do trust you." His grip on my servo tightened. "What I need to tell you is that I'm sorry for lying all this time. It just—it was—"

"It's a 'Con thing. Shouldn't have expected anything different from you."

"But you did! You and—and Bee—and Bulkhead—and even Prime, you all expected me to—to see that—" His tone expressed helplessness as he whispered, "—that I want to stay. And—and I do."

I stared at him. He squirmed under my gaze and let go of my servo as though it had turned into a scraplet.

"It feels weird enough just admitting it, okay? Do you have to make it awkward, too?"

"...Sorry. You're serious?"

He gingerly sat up, keeping an optic on the wires plugged into his medical ports.

"Yeah. I—I think I was kind of serious when I told Prime, too, but now I'm sure. It's like Knock Out said… there's nothing left for me on the Nemesis." His vocalizer skipped with a choking noise, and he cycled it sharply. "Primus… there's no one left. Knock Out made that much clear, and—and—oh, Primus, Breakdown's gone—"

Even with his visor snapping into place, I could see his horror and grief renewing from the way his jaw tightened and the way the red glow got brighter.

"Short stuff," I tried saying, not sure if I should reach out to him. Sparring the feelings away wasn't an option this time, not with his injuries. "Hey, short stuff. Come on, look at me. Freeloader, look at me."

His visor flicked back again. I almost wished it hadn't, because now I could see the pain in his optics. He'd had a rough, complicated time of the last two solar cycles. It was all pressing down on him, and the little mech wasn't equipped to handle it all without the mech he'd relied on for so long...

Frag it all. I moved over to the edge of the medical berth and pulled the minibot into my lap, careful of the wires plugged into him. He latched onto me and buried his face in my chestplate. Oh, Primus, he was shaking now, and his vents hitched, and his plating rattled, and he radiated loss. I wrapped my arms around his frame and pressed my chin on the top of his helm.

"I know, short stuff. I know." I'd never been any good at mourning, let alone comforting a mourner, but smelt me if I wasn't going to try my hardest. "That's it. Let it out. Keeping it inside isn't gonna help anybody." A thought occurred to me. "That was something Breaks used to say, wasn't it?" Freeloader nodded, helm scraping against my plating. What else can I say? "I used to be friends with him, too, did you know? Sort of buried all the memories after he left, but…"

"You miss him, too." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I do. So you and me, and Bulk, once we tell him? We're gonna be each other's support struts, you hear me? We can remember him together."

"'Jack?"

"Yeah, short stuff?"

"Thanks."