"You aren't going to move her, are you? Don't you dare!"
"There's not much point now, is there? I trust you to keep your mouth shut."
Anna forced herself to her knees and fumbled with the spilled contents of her bags. She retrieved a few books before her fingers began scraping the carpet, her thumb brushing against one more. She didn't notice the plump brunette gathering her books or pulling her to her feet, slipping the remaining bags into her loose grip before nudging her into the corridor. Anna marched forward like a tin soldier, empty and oblivious. Something stopped her. She looked up. A second brunette, younger than the first. Short, spiky hair. A simple pink dress. What was her name again?
Rachel?
She took Anna's bags in one hand. Once Anna would have wondered how she had the strength to do so. She would even have asked. Now she could only follow the gentle pressure of Rachel's other arm, wrapped around her shoulders.
Anna couldn't tell how long they'd been walking to get to the foyer. Minutes? Days? Her feet trod across the hard floor and the arm lowered her into a seat. She heard... something that wasn't nothing. It wasn't until she felt the gentle vibrations along her back that she recognised the sounds as words. She looked up to see the nurse - Rachel, definitely - talking to a man. She'd seen him somewhere as well...
"...eye on her? Please?"
"Of course."
"I'd do it myself, but I just can't..."
"I know, don't worry about it. Just tell Max I'm taking my break early."
The man bent down and they kissed before trading places. Rachel walked backwards, her eyes never leaving the young girl. Her lips quivered before the receptionist gave her an encouraging look. Rachel looked away, heading down a second corridor before her heart overruled her head. Anna could have seen this but she had curled up in her seat, body trembling.
"Anna, I think some fresh air would do you good. Would you like to sit outside?"
She didn't respond, but he helped himself to her bags, then coaxed her from the chair. Fingers seizing, she followed him. Then listened.
Elsa was a light sleeper, often waking at night, screaming or crying. Last night she had slept well. A nurse had examined her, noting her usual weak pulse and low temperature before leaving the room, praising his luck. She'd been in the same state when he left for an unscheduled break.
He returned late. But what did it matter?
He would never have to watch over her again.
Anna realised she hadn't seen Joan. She had loved Elsa too. Anna knew Joan would blame her for what had happened. It was all her fault.
Anna walked through dark gates opened by an old man. Recognition passed between them, inevitable after so many years. He smiled. Waved. Anna couldn't match his enthusiasm, but smiled weakly in return. Even if her hands were free, she doubted she could have waved back. The man understood, nodding before his eyes fell on the next person to enter the vast expanse of green and black.
One Month
She killed Elsa.
It was the only thing that made sense. Her sister had been fine. Ill perhaps, but safe. Stable. She hadn't improved, but she had been alive. Then Anna had waltzed into her life with dreams of happy endings and ruined everything. If she had learned to read her sooner, she could have kept herself away. Elsa could have survived.
But Anna knew she wouldn't have thought that way. She was too stubborn, too stupid, unable to learn from her mistakes or look past her own desires. She'd wanted her sister back. She would have kept trying, however many times Elsa rejected her advances. Elsa had tried. When they first met she had begged Anna to leave her be and it had broken her heart. But she had come back. She had deluded herself into thinking she could make Elsa happy, but had only pushed her over the edge. The least she could do was give Elsa the peace she sought and fight the urge to follow her.
Loose stones rolled under Anna's feet as she walked down a path so familiar she could traverse it blindfolded. She looked across the open field and her eyes fell on a crouched woman also clad in black. The stranger looked up. The women shared a sad smile.
She reached her destination. She looked at the simple black rock and bent down, resting the object in her hands against it. She sat down on grass flattened by the frequency of her visits. She leaned back on the side of the granite and closed her eyes.
Two Months
An afternoon found her in the living room, university brochures scattered on the coffee table. Her father sat in the sofa on her left, skimming through and comparing two sheets of paper. His already furrowed brow creased with every passing second. He bit his cheek and held one up to her.
"I don't understand. Why do you want to go to this one when this," he held up the second sheet, "is so much better?"
"I don't care about ratings."
"Why not? Besides, it's closer than the one you want; you could come home for weekends instead of being cooped up in a dorm all year."
"Maybe that's what I'm looking for."
"What do you mean? Anna?"
"I just need to get away from… the stench."
"What stench?"
A pause. Anna dug her nails into her palms.
"Anna, talk to me."
"You!"
With that she leapt to her feet, eyes wild. She wailed. Ran from the room. She tripped over the stairs before she entered her own, locking the door and collapsing on her bed, burying her face in her pillow and screaming. She pressed it over her mouth and nose, desperate for release, but her face grew too hot. She rolled over and gasped for breath, thinking again of Elsa and how she had done what Anna could not.
She killed Elsa.
Anna pulled a simple object from her jacket: a small rectangular frame.
With a picture of her sister.
She was smiling. Anna traced her finger over the outline of her forehead and small nose, finishing at her chin. Elsa was watching television, the only thing that could give her that spark in her eyes and bloom in her cheeks. The picture was solely of the girl, so Anna couldn't see what the show was. Joan hadn't remembered either. Was it the same show she'd seen her watch so long ago? She pushed the thought aside and focused solely on the blonde. She looked again at the pale face, tilted away yet radiant, hair shining in the light streaming through her window. She looked down at her body still wrapped up in her quilt, but with the familiar light blue shirt clinging to her bony torso and arms. She was the most beautiful woman she'd ever known. Her only issue with the picture was its perfection.
She wasn't in it.
Nor was she the one to take the picture; Joan had, years before she'd learned of Elsa's existence. It commemorated the end of a difficult period in the blonde's life. Anna could have taken a photo on the day she made Elsa smile, but had been too callous and unprepared, too Anna to do so, confident she'd have all the time in the world and many more smiles to immortalize. Foolish. Now, she had nothing.
No smiles. No shared memories. Nothing to prove that she, Anna, had ever known Elsa, her older sister. Nothing to prove she'd been in the same room as her. Nothing to prove she'd made her smile. Nothing to prove she'd wanted nothing more than to make her happy. Nothing to prove she had met this incredible woman she loved with all her heart and soul.
She didn't know anything about her. She knew her name, her birthday and what she looked like. What else? She had begged Joan for Elsa's favourite foods, her habits, her favourite shows, toys - and for what? What did any of that matter when she would never see the light in her eyes, the smile on her lips or hear the sound of her voice? Anna would never have those luxuries. She didn't even know when Elsa died. The nurse had left before midnight and arrived after. How could she call herself a sister?
She didn't notice the tears until her eyes burned and her breath grew ragged.
She made no efforts to stop.
Two Years
Knock knock.
Anna looked up from her desk, puzzled. She wasn't expecting anyone at this hour - any hour really. She cast her mind back. Had she paid the rent? Yes... did she miss any meetings or lectures? Not to her recollection, though that didn't mean anything.
Knock-knock knock.
Frowning, she placed her pen on the page and walked to the door. She opened it.
It was her father.
Her eyes passed over his haggard expression. The beard she had never seen in her life. She saw the misery in the eyes that once shone with mirth, the glint of his golden watch now the only illumination he could provide. She saw the disheveled clothes and fatigue. She knew how many hours he'd driven to see her. She knew why.
The door slammed shut before he opened his mouth.
Anna walked back to her seat and dragged it forward, retrieving her pen. Cursing the loss of her train of thought she ran through her writing before resuming. She was falling behind with her work and could do without the noise still coming from the hallway. She remembered the tall girl with long red hair she'd seen from the corner of her eye in those wasted seconds, looking through her own door with surprise. No doubt Anna had made herself more of an outcast.
She didn't care.
The next day she learned the shut-in Princess of the university was now a full blown Ice Queen.
She didn't care.
Ten Years
"Anna?"
She started. Before her stood a young girl whose hair blazed under the sun. She held up her own offering and Anna sniffed, nodding. The child gave her a nervous smile before setting her daisy chain down, then stepped back. Anna looked at the dainty thing, crafted meticulously after days of scouring fields for the perfect colours. The chain had three: white, blue, light blue. Elsa's colours. Anna remembered reassuring the girl at night that her gift was wonderful before she could sleep. She loved her for it.
The blonde looked at her, apprehensive. Anna managed another weak smile, nodded her approval and fell back. She shut her eyes, tears still falling down her cheeks.
"Please don't cry."
Again, she opened her eyes to see the girl looking down at her.
"You promised you wouldn't."
Another promise she'd failed to keep. She couldn't help but slam her eyes shut, tighter this time, with her shoulders heaving as she fought back her sobs, teeth scoring gashes in her lower lip, struggling to keep her mouth still and obscuring her reply.
"I'm sorry."
Anna bent forward. Her misery flared before a cool warmth enveloped her. She opened her eyes again in shock and found her vision obscured by a sea of gold. She surrendered herself to the hug, draping an arm around the child's back and running her right hand through the girl's bright, soft hair.
"Please don't cry Mummy."
Anna gasped. She tightened her embrace, pulling the girl closer. She buried her head in golden tresses, reveling in their scent before pulling back so they could lock eyes once more. Blue met blue.
"I'll try."
She couldn't trust herself to make the promise. She vowed to live by the words nonetheless. Eyes still watering, she wrapped her arms around the girl again and felt her do the same. She gripped the picture in her hand and felt the child's breath ghost over her neck as she giggled.
"You're crushing me!"
Anna finally laughed, choking away the tightness in her throat, tears tickling her face. She blew golden strands from her mouth and nose.
"Trying to get rid of me? You'll have to try harder than that!"
Anna held the girl closer. She winced but Anna continued speaking to her and their silent host, two wreaths now resting beneath her name.
"Because I'll never let you go again Elsa."
A/N: I will be answering questions about this story in the week beginning 29th December 2014 (but don't worry about being late) on the /r/FrozenFanfics subreddit. You can find a link to the site on my profile page. If you don't have a reddit account, it doesn't take long to set up, but feel free to leave your questions as reviews to this chapter as well - via guest accounts perhaps, to account for the one review per chapter rule? I'll copy any questions I see here to reddit and answer them if I can. Thank you for all of your support and take care.