Author's Note: W00t! After much discussion with Lionheart, and many ideas from both parties, I have everything up until a few days after the Sorting planned out. That should end up somewhere around the End of Chapter thirteen(Assuming I don't get too many more ideas or end up finding a few holes in the plot... my plan might be opff and I might be trying to do too many things in one chapter. We'll see.). I'm hoping to keep doing these long chapters as I'm getting lots more reviews now. Thanks be to all of you, and especially Lionheart, as I've gotten so many great ideas out of him... However I am of course willing to use your ideas as well, so if you've got something really awesome up your sleeve, let me know.
Thanks also to all those who helped me figure out the time conundrum. Many brilliant explanations went straight over my head. :P I now realize that there are so many possible ways of writing time travel, and absolutely no actual proof of how it works or not I could be completely right or completely wrong, and re-stating my opinion every few chapters only takes up space. Enjoy my stories for what they are: fiction, and suspend your disbelief, if you can. If you can't bear it... at least flame me on some point that nobody else touched yet. Hearing the same jibes and points over and over, even after having acknowledged them gets pretty dull...
Cheers!
Neopyro
Too Much Time On My Hands
Chapter Ten
Dear Harry,
I know you are just a baby now, but I find myself unable to stop writing anyway. My husband and son both died by the Dark Lord's hand. I feel that I need to thank you in the only way I can. I'm quite poor, but I hear that my Turkey and Barley soup is the best in the world. I have sent you a cauldron full, so that your new relatives can keep food on the table in your time of grief and sadness. My apologies for your loss and thank you for helping with mine.
Helen McClaren
P.S. Should you ever find yourself in the Manchester area and in need of anything I could offer, I would be more than happy to oblige
Dear Harry Potter,
My name is Tobayama Onizuka. I lived in England for many years in my youth. In fact, I was raised there and lived with my mother and father in London. On the day of my fifteenth birthday, both of them were killed in one of The Dark Lord's attacks. I fled england to my birth land, never to return. The day the Dark Lord fell was a day of both joy and sadness for me. Joy because my parents had finally been avenged, and I could at last rest easily. Sadness because you had to lose your parents just as I had to do so. I know that no monetary amount could ever bring your loved ones back from the dead, but I hope what I can offer will ease your pain. I have charged Gringotts with crediting your private vault ten thousand Galleons. Don't feel guilty about spending it; I am a successful businessman and can afford it. It is your money to do with as you will. Let it bring you much joy and happiness.
-Onizuka
CEO of Onizuka Potions Inc.
To Harry Potter
I also lost my family at the hands of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. My mother, My father, Two of my sisters and my very own twin brother. I lost my wife, and our two month old son. Before you defeated him, my life was empty, and it felt as if it had no purpose. I contemplated suicide. I had no job, no money and my life was shutting down before my eyes. But then, then you were born, and just after your first birthday slew the very excuse of a man who ruined my life. And I thought 'If a baby can destroy the most evil man to walk the Earth, why should I complain about what I have lost?' I became strong for you. I got a job, paid off my debts and now am a fully certified Healer, working at St. Mungo's. Thank you, Harry, and may all of the presents I have sent you make you joyful once more.
-Petr Ivanovich
Head Healer of the Poison Control Ward at St. Mungo's
The letters went on. Harry managed to read and answer eleven of them before his hand cramped up. Harry knew that he couldn't possibly read and answer them all any time soon and certainly not before the end of the summer. Unless... Unless he used magic.
Harry crept around the house and raided every writing desk he could find, and gathered every quill, pen, pencil, ink bottle, piece of paper and parchment. He also woke Townofaah, as his increased brain capacity could be a serious help with a situation such as this one.
Between the two of them, and their wealth of knowledge, they created a solution. The Sentient Quill. Townofaah put Harry into a deep sleep, and used some complex Coatl magic to extract Harry's personality and duplicate it, imprinting the duplicate on a quill, and added a few levitation charms and a few orders. He repeated the process for each of the forty writing utensils Harry had gathered. They watched in amazement as pens and pencils read each letter over thoroughly and then replied exactly as Harry would have. When the letter was finished, the pen would levitate the letter onto Harry's desk and fold it into a properly addressed envelope. Pens, pencils and quills danced about the room, on parchment, making a veritable storm of letters.
Harry and Townofaah left the room with a Wizard's Chess set and played a few games at the Dining room table. Townofaah won five out of seven games but they still had loads of fun. After Harry was forced to declare Townofaah the "God of Wizard's Chess", he let Townofaah sleep wrapped about Harry's neck like a scarf. Townofaah's chin rested atop Harry's forehead, and the way his wings were positioned made it look like Harry had grown a massive set of Winged ears.
At some point, Harry wandered down into the basement to look at the sheer volume of baby toys in the room. Harry could only descend down to the sixth step. Avret that was a mass of multi colored crazy things. Self-rattling rattles, Magically animated stuffed unicorns, singing bonnets, and even self-changing diapers. Harry decided to take the most interesting stuffed animal he saw as a sort of...souvenir and have Sirius donate the rest to charity.
Harry reached down and plucked up a weird green and purple weird stuffed animal. It was the craziest thing he'd ever seen. It looked like a crossbreed between an anteater, a hippogriff, a piranha and a frog, with a big helix shaped wrinkled horn on the bridge of its scaled anteater nose.
"Is that a... Crumple-horned Snorkack?" Harry asked himself. Still, the odds of it being sent by Luna were fairly high... and if not Luna, he'd still like to meet the crazy witch or wizard who would send things like that to complete strangers. Harry and the stuffed Snorkack went back upstairs to wait for Sirius to wake up.
Turns out, Sirius awoke around four-thirty, and came downstairs to find a fully-organized pantry. Remus followed shortly after and Harry unpacked a turkey dinner and set it out on the table. Sirius vaguely mentioned that he'd gotten Harry a present, and handed him a folded up piece of parchment that was very familiar to Harry. "This is the Marauder's Map that I was telling you about. If you can figure out how to work it, it's yours to keep, until you pass it down to the next generation of pranksters. Consider it a puzzle of sorts."
Remus mentioned that there was a small stack of books on Evocation under his bed, which Harry was free to take as they were his now.
The meal was mostly eaten in silence, as it seemed like Remus and Sirius had both just risen from the dead.
Harry scampered up the stairs as soon as he'd finished eating to read over his new evocation books. By looking through obscure branches of magic for something powerful, Harry was secretly searching for "The Power the Dark Lord Knows Not"
-----------------------------------Two Months later------------------------
"Quick, Harry! A girl in a skirt has just insulted your honor as a Marauder! What is the best spell for you to incapacitate her and embarrass her so that you are the last one laughing?" Sirius quizzed.
"Levicorpus!" Harry responded instantly. "By causing her to dangle in the air, her skirt will fall down (or up as the case may be) and everyone will see her knickers. She might be shocked enough to drop her wand, or have it pinned at her side by using both hands to hold her skirt in a non-revealing way."
"Excellent! Five points to Harrydor!"
Harry cheered aloud. The day after Harry's Birthday, Sirius had arranged for a small army of owls to deliver all his correspondence, and had them return to deliver all the baby supplies to all the local orphanages, with a healthy amount also going to the St. Mungo's charity ward. Harry "decoded" the Marauder's map the first day, and since then, Sirius had started to instruct Harry in the art of both Magical and Muggle pranking.
Sirius was certain that Harry had all the second year material down, and decided that two years ahead was enough for a bookworm like him, and they would work on other stuff that was far more important.
Like pranks. Every day, they studied the art of pranking. Which things were funny, which things were reckless and where Harry should draw the line. ("It's all funny until a Slytherin gets hurt, Harry. Then it's hilarious!")
Sirius showed Harry all the basic spells that a prankster would need, as well as some of the more advanced ones.
Harry worked through his Evocation books, secretly practicing some of the more interesting spells when Sirius wasn't around. After he finished the books, However, Harry made sure to study his Muggle books again, in case he'd need something for school.
"So, you all ready for school tomorrow?" Sirius teased.
"Of course!" Harry responded. "Williams Academy has one of the Highest female to male ratios in mixed gender schools in England. 85 female, I believe." Sirius noticed the cheeky grin on his Godson's face, and wrapped him in a hug.
"James would be proud." he said. Sirius broke the embrace. "All right, time for bed Prongslet. School starts early."
Harry headed up the stairs to his room and went to sleep. Townofaah, slithered under his shirt and slept on Harry's warm stomach. Harry fell asleep rather quickly after that.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
"REDUCTO!" Harry cast in that moment of panic right after being awoken by an alarm clock.
The appliance exploded in a shower of plastic, metal, sparks and smoke, and Harry walked off to take a shower, feeling a bit cranky as he did so.
After a shower and his other morning business, Harry attempted to comb his hair. It, of course had almost no effect, and it poofed back up to it's usual messed-up glory within seconds.
Harry pulled on his school uniform (Navy blue jacked and slacks, with a white button down shirt.) and strolled down into the kitchen.
He chugged down a warm container of turkey soup, and packed a few other warm things into a bag for his lunch. He strolled out the front door, and was greeted by darkness. The sky was still a dark navy blue, and it was freaking cold. Harry wrapped his arms tight around himself and hopped into the black van. Remus was in the driver's seat. Harry fastened his seatbelt, and felt the van jolt into hyperspace. Everything returned to normal, and they found themselves a few miles from Harry's school. As close as they could get while still someplace that nobody would see them. Harry thought that he might have seen a touch of pink in the sky near the horizon, but it was only wishful thinking.
"Five in the morning on a Friday... I think they're trying to kill us." Harry complained.
"It could be worse." Remus replied.
"Oh yeah? How?" Harry challenged.
"We could have to get here the Muggle way." Remus answered.
They were supposed to arrive at the school at 5am every day for the first week for orientation. The digital clock on the dash struck 4:45 just as Remus pulled up next to the front door. Harry groaned like a zombie, and waved goodbye to Remus. Harry oozed out of the van, and made his way towards the door. Inside, there was a cluster of students, fairly close in age to Harry. His current age, not his actual age. There weren't any 23 year old students to the best of his knowledge.
As Harry approached them, one helpful student let him know that he needed to go to the office, sign in and pick up his name tag. He pointed Harry in the right direction.
Harry entered the office and was greeted by a woman in an avocado-green dress/suit. "Hello, I'm Katherine Robinson, Guidance Counselor. Can I help you with something?" She had curly red hair that was slowly fading to gray and a face that had gotten wrinkly and then cosmetically changed so many times that it was beginning to look less like cosmetic surgery and more like taxidermy. Her smile was so wide and fake that it looked like it must hurt a lot to maintain. Her teeth were blindingly white and she wore too much make-up and perfume.
"I'm Harry Potter, I heard I was supposed to arrive at five this morning." Harry said politely. No use making fun of her and getting in trouble on the first day. "I'm a new student." he added helpfully.
Her mouth made a tiny "O" of surprise. "Ah, you're the one here on scholarship, yes?" The Guidance Counselor asked, returning to the torture-smile.
"Yes Ma'am." Harry responded.
"Room 211, last room down the hall to the left. It's on the right. Your teacher should be there in about twenty minutes." The counselor said in one breath, before handing him a folder.
"Thank you," Harry said, walking out of the office. He heard the telltale click of a lighter as she lit up a cigarette. Harry hoped that Sirius had a Pensieve so he could show him how awful this woman looked. If not, it still might be worth the effort of buying one... it was pretty funny.
Harry walked down the hall, and into his new classroom. Sure enough, Hermione was already there, as well as ten other students. Hermione was poring over a textbook, and scribbling notes frantically into a notebook. Most of the other class was openly snickering at her. A few were close to exploding with laughter. Harry took a seat in the front row, near the right half of the classroom. Right next to Hermione of course. He pulled a textbook out of his bag as well and started reading.
While he did manage to read some of the textbook, Harry couldn't help that his insides were jumping for joy. It had been so long since he'd seen any of his old friends, so now that he could see Hermione as clear as day, he felt like singing.
They both read from their textbooks, ignoring the laughter coming from behind them.
Their teacher entered the room a few minutes early, but it wasn't a big deal. Harry quickly stashed his textbook in his bag and watched as Hermione did the same.
"Hello everyone." the teacher introduced himself. "Hello class! My name is Mr. Lespet." he greeted.
The teacher was a wispy, slightly elderly sort of man with a soft voice and a bad combover. He was the original purpose for the phrase "You might want to put some rocks in your pockets or you might blow away." He had a tiny pointed nose, and blue eyes that were far too big for his head, and only magnified by his glasses. However, he also seemed to be a fairly strong willed man, who radiated an aura of kindness and intellect. Harry suspected that he just might end up liking the man.
Mr. Lespet did a few name games to introduce the students to each other and learn the names of the class. They had just finished the third one of these when the vice principal entered the room.
She went through a boring introduction, in which Harry found himself simply staring at the long gray hair growing out of the mole on her right cheek. And, with impeccable timing, the guidance counselor walked in just as she was getting the applause for the end of her speech, The Vice principal left and the Guidance counselor spoke for a bit. Harry found himself gagging from the lack of air... and too much perfume in his lungs. The Principal entered and gave them the riot act on what the rules were, etc. and soon they were alone with their teacher once more.
Harry felt his eyes rolling, and knew this was going to be a long day.
Harry hated when he was right. Once the teacher was sure he'd learned everyone's names, he began to pass out papers.
"I'm sorry I have to do this to you, kids but it's just how things are done the first day in my class. I am going to give you a quiz. For every subject I am to teach you, that is. It is so that I can evaluate where each of you is without you studying for them. This is ungraded, but it will tell me exactly where to start when I begin teaching on Monday. There will be another test like this on the last day of the school year.
"You will have four breaks. One now, One at nine, Lunch at Eleven-thirty, and Recess at two. You will leave here at four. The bathrooms are right across the hall, please be back in fifteen minutes."
The students sat there for a full three seconds, blinking. Hermione had a smirk a mile wide. It was a look that blatantly said "And they laughed at me for studying." Harry managed to catch her eye and grin with her, yet he still had a feeling of dread. The students behind her weren't jealous, or envious of her. They were angry. These kids liked to call themselves the best, and so when someone had the gall to show them up... to be better than they were, they would strike them down mercilessly. Harry hoped to God that Hermione had the sense not to brag.
The break ended much too quickly, and Harry returned to his desk, and the tests were passed out. The first test covered Mathematics. Easy stuff, getting progressively harder. It went all the way from basic addition to calculating the volume of a sphere. The test didn't show anything harder than that, as they must not have suspected that any student would know that much in first grade. Harry whizzed through it all, figuring that there was nothing to be lost by doing well on them.
The second test covered science. Mostly basic stuff, but the last few questions got into chemistry which he had studied extensively. He was certain he'd gotten all of these right as well.
The third test was a spectacular flop for Harry. He hadn't studied much Muggle History, and was only able to get one of the three questions correct. And it had been exceedingly hard to talk about World War two without mentioning Albus Dumbledore or Grindlewald.
The second break was short, and barely anyone moved from their seats. They just sat around, trying to remember whatever they'd learned.
The next tests covered vocabulary and English, which Harry did decently on. Probably better than someone his age was expected to be, but not great. They were all given a small personal questionnaire to take. Questions such as "Do you play an instrument? If so, which instrument? If not would you be interested to learn one? Which one?" "Do you speak any languages other than English? Which ones?" "Do you like to write stories?" and "are you a talented artist? Do you want to be a talented artist?" Harry answered that he was interested in learning an instrument but wasn't sure what he'd like to learn. He figured it had something to do with sending the Students to separate classes after Lunch.
The procession to lunch was almost silent. A few people had the energy to whisper, but not many. Harry collapsed into the first seat he came to and popped open his still hot lunch.
"Sit somewhere else, Geek!" Some girl snapped rudely.
"Yeah, nobody likes you." another girl added.
"Don't blame me because you're unprepared!"
"As if we care, Brainiac! It's first grade, now get out of here!"
"Sit by yourself!"
Somehow, Harry knew that this was Hermione being talked about. Harry turned around and saw Hermione, with watery eyes walking to a different table. It was, of course empty. Somehow, Harry knew that in his other life, a teacher had taken a seat next to her and cheered her up greatly. It had been the first building block in her altar for the worship of Authority figures. Harry knew it was time to intervene. He packed up his lunch and walked over.
"Is this seat taken?" Harry asked.
"No." Hermione responded sadly. She didn't even look up to see who had asked.
Harry took the seat next to her.
"Problems with the savages?" Harry asked.
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked, not understanding his statement.
"The peasants. The inarticulate trolls we have the misfortune of sharing a classroom with." Harry explained. Harry thought he saw the corners of Hermione's mouth twitch upwards ever-so-slightly. "Well don't mind them. They are insignificant specks compared to us. Their pathetic opinions and whiny little cliques do not matter. Let their jibes roll off of you like water on a duck, and ignore them. They can't do anything except call names. If they commit violence, they can get expelled. In short, they are harmless and can do nothing to you unless you let them."
Now, Hermione grinned. "Thanks." she said. "I'm Hermione Granger."
"I did play the name game, you know. But my name is Harry Potter." Harry replied cheekily.
"A pleasure to meet you." they said at the same time, causing them both to dissolve into gales of laughter. So what if he gave Hermione a Superiority Complex? It wouldn't really matter since she could always back it up.
'A Hermione who had confidence and the balls to back it up? Look out Hogwarts, your Queen approaches.' Harry thought.
Harry and Hermione both ended up in the same Music class after Lunch, and the Instructor let all the students who did not have an instrument or instrument preference draw instrument names from the hat. Harry drew the violin, while Hermione got the bass guitar. They would apparently be drafted into separate classes for the next three months and were expected to know the basics of their instrument at that time period, including how to read music and play a few simple songs. At the end of the school year, they would perform a concert. Apparently the entire school (or at least those interested in music would be divided up into five groups based upon skill level. There was additional instrument tutoring available for free for an hour after school for those who are interested.
Harry was ushered into the art, dance and performing arts rooms all before Recess. Harry managed to figure out that not all of these classes would be mandatory, but he would have to choose a few to specialize in and take them for the entirety of his stay there.
"So what are you going to pick?" Hermione asked him, matching his walking pace.
"Not sure yet. They're going to show us a few more after Recess, so who knows what I'll take." Harry answered.
"How do you know?" Hermione inquired.
"They asked questions about languages on the test, and we haven't even seen a language classroom yet. They will take us to a few more classrooms and have us fill out a form saying which ones of these optional classes we will take. I imagine a language is required, but they'll have us pick two or three more to fill up the schedule."
Hermione nodded, as this made sense. They stepped onto the playground together, just in time to see a tall blond their age (with a group of other tall, evil-looking girls behind her for support.) call Hermione a few names.
"Hey Brainiac! It seems you've got yourself a boyfriend! What'd you do, promise to do his homework?" The blond sneered.
Harry could tell that Hermione was going to walk away, and let them use her as a doormat. Harry decided to step in for her.
"Bugger off, Peasant! Don't you have some pigs you need to tend to? The stall might need cleaning, as I can smell them from here." Harry retorted, waving the smell away from his nose with one hand. Somehow the girls were quick enough to realize that he was calling the blond a farmer, and her "friends" pigs.
"Watch your back, Potter." she snapped, before tromping off.
"Thanks." Hermione said with a flush. "They still get to me."
"Hey, what are friends for?" Harry asked rhetorically.