Barry didn't understand why he was breaking down like he was. Curled up in a ball against his lab door. When he heard the quiet knock, Barry sprung up from the ground, wiped his cheeks, and took in a deep breath.

"Come in." He managed to say without his voice cracking too much. Barry made his way over to his desk, as the lab door opened, and Joe peeked his head in.

"What the hell happened between you two?!"

Barry turned on his heel, and looked at Joe. "What do you mean?"

"Don't try to play this off, Bartholomew. I heard you crying, and I saw Iris crying. What happened?" Joe shut his door, and walked further into his room.

"Iris was crying? Is she alright?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!"

"She came here to reconnect because we've been gaining space, one thing lead to another, and she forced it out of me. I didn't mean to, it's just she gets that look in her eye an-"

"Wait. Does she know you're The Flash!?" Joe's eyes went wide.

"What? No. She does know I know who he is, and that led to a bombardment of questions about him, and I couldn't handle it." Barry rubbed a hand over his face, and sighed. "I kicked her out. I didn't mean to make her cry, did she say anything to you?"

Joe gave Barry a sad smile, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Just that I should check on you. She said she was going to Jitters. Maybe you should make it up to her with some coffee."

Barry nodded. Things were silent for a moment, before Barry spoke up again. "Joe, I can't do this anymore."

Joe was heading towards the door to leave, when Barry piped up. He turned around to look at him. "What?"

"I can't keep lying to Iris. It kills me, Joe."

"You have to! It's for her safety!"

Barry ran his fingers through his hair, and walked over to his desk to sit down. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe keeping her in the dark is worse than telling her." He mumbled, and swiped away a stray tear that streaked down his cheek.

"Bear, I know it's hard to lie to her, it's hard for me, too, bu-"

"No, you don't understand, Joe!" Barry shouted, unintentional anger lacing his words. "You're not the one who's under that mask! You're not the one who has to hide the biggest part of his life from his best friend, the person he tells everything to! And you are certainly not the one who has to deal with the pain of watching that friend slip away because of a bunch of damn lies!"

Joe was startled at first by Barry's outburst, but now all he felt was terrible pain. He knew keeping secrets from Iris was hard for Barry, but he never realized how much it weighed on him.

"Bear, you aren't losing Iri-"

"I am, Joe." Barry whispered, burying his face in his hands, trying to contain his tears. "I am."

"What are you talking about?"

Barry looked up at Joe, lip quivering as much as his voice when he began to speak. "My relationship with Iris is so tight because we tell each other everything. We know everything about one another, but now? Now I can't tell her everything, Joe. I can't talk to her about the pain I feel when I watch someone die in front of me. I can't tell her how it's me who is out there saving people, that it's me who has those secret late-night talks with her." Barry closed his eyes, and took in a deep breath, "Joe, what you don't understand is that as my life as The Flash, and my life as Barry Allen start to blend together more and more, my relationship with Iris is going to plummet more and more. Joe, I'm losing my best friend. And if losing Iris is what it takes to be a hero, then I don't want to be The Flash." Barry slumped in his chair, and pulled his hood over his face.

Joe was holding back his own tears now. He was just bombarded with all of Barry's feelings. Feelings he had no idea Barry was keeping in. He noticed the instant wave of relief that seemed to wash over Barry as he finished his last sentence, but something was still weighing on him.

"And the last reason?" Joe asked, pulling out a chair to sit down. Ready to have a more serious conversation with Barry.

Barry looked up from his lap, eyebrows knit with confusion. "What do you mean?" A slight shade of pink tinted Barry's cheeks.

"What else is weighing on you, Bear? Come on, I may not have realized how bad you were feeling about lying to Iris, but you're my son. I can tell something is still off with you. You got this far, now spill the rest." Joe had a very strong idea as to what Barry's last reason was, but he didn't want to ask in case he was wrong.

Barry looked at everything around the room except Joe's eyes. "Iris ended things with Eddie. I thought maybe I could have a shot with her now, but it wouldn't be fair to have a whole other life she didn't know about, and...you know…" Barry's cheeks were red-hot. It was embarrassing enough to discuss this subject, considering how touchy he was about it, but to be discussing it with Iris' dad was worse.

Joe gave him a sad, understanding smile, and nodded. "I was thinking about what you said earlier, and maybe telling her could protect her more, keep her prepared."

Barry shrugged. "It's fine, Joe. I'm okay now. I guess I just had a lot on my chest, and it sort of just came out. She knows the dangers that are out there right now, she isn't in the dark about that, but if she knows my identity, it would shine a spotlight on her for metas who want my name. I'm fine, really. I overreacted. You can get back to work."

Joe knew that Barry was only starting to build a wall up around him again after breaking it down with his sudden outburst. He also knew that when he said I'm fine it meant nothing. Still, he decided against pushing, and left him after giving him a hug, and a reassuring pat on the back.

Barry pulled out his phone when it buzzed, and smiled at the new note posted on Iris' blog.

I cannot believe I haven't seen you since the building collapsed on us. Come get me, Flashie. ;)

Barry laughed, and flashed out of his lab.

Iris stood at her usual spot while she waited for The Flash to sweep her off her feet. It was cold out, so she hoped he wouldn't be-

Whoosh.

And there it was. Back on the roof.

Iris spun around on her heel, a slight tinge of pink tinting her cheeks. She smiled brightly when she saw him, arms crossed in his signature stance in the shadows.

"Thank God you're okay!" Iris beamed with relief, running over to him.

"Sorry I haven't said much for a couple of days, I've been recovering. How are you doing?"

"Ha! Are you kidding me? I didn't have a freaking broken leg!" Iris gazed down at his leg then, and started to laugh when she saw that he had no problem putting weight on it. "No fair, I wish I had super-healing!" She huffed.

Barry laughed. "It comes in handy. I'm serious though, do you feel okay? Any aches or pains?"

"You are really adorable when you do that, you know."

"Do what?" Barry walked over to the ledge of the roof with Iris, and leaned against it. She did the same.

"Get all over-the-top about my well-being. Barry does the same thing. It really is cute. I swear, sometimes I wonder if you two are the same person." Iris giggled.

Barry practically choked on nothing, and started coughing. Way too close for comfort. "Uh huh, yeah."

When Iris continued to laugh, Barry gave her a strange look, though she wouldn't be able to tell because of him vibrating his face, obviously. "What's so funny, West?"

Iris tried to stop herself from laughing by clamping her lips shut, and when that didn't help any, she took in a few deep breaths, holding up her index finger for him to give her a moment. When the giggling subsided, Iris wiped away a couple of tears from the corners of her eyes. "I was just imagining my clumsy Barry being a superhero. That would be hilarious!"

"What?" He rasped, subtly taking a defensive step back. Iris really was pushing at his comfort zone.

"Okay, you don't know him like I do." Barry mentally laughed at that. "He's so freaking clumsy, and dorky. It's really endearing, and freaking cute, but I just thought about him running around at superspeed, and crashing into everything." Iris broke out into laughter again, wrapping an arm around her stomach.

"Yeah. I bet that would be funny." Barry mumbled, unenthusiastically. Iris unfortunately caught the shift in tone.

"What's wrong, Flashie? Not in the mood for a little comedy?"

"Nothing's wrong. So, uh, how are you and Barry?" Yes, he was changing the subject to get out of an uncomfortable situation, but he did want to hear her thoughts about their current relationship. He worried that there were a few things that Iris was keeping from him, and wanted to know if she would spill those things to The Flash.

When her face fell, he knew he struck gold. "You didn't tell me he knew who you were. So what, everyone but me? That isn't fair, B." Iris teased, trying to keep a light mood.

Barry, of course, wasn't having it. He knew when she was forcing a smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Iris bit her bottom lip, a nervous habit of hers that Barry knew all too well. "What...what do you mean? About what?"

"Something is bothering you, I can tell. Do you want to talk about it?"

Iris sighed, and ran a hand through her hair.

What surprised Barry, and even startled him, was when Iris looked into his eyes, and started to cry.

Her face crumpled, and she lunged into his arms, sobbing disgustingly, clinging onto his suit like a two-year-old seeking comfort from a parent.

Barry instantly kicked into protective mode, tightened his arms around Iris' waist, and pulled her closer into his embrace.

"Woah, woah, woah. What's the matter?"

Iris didn't respond, just kept crying, tears rolling off his emblem, and into the fabric of his suit.

Barry just stood there, shell-shocked. What could he have possibly said, that warranted this reaction from her? He ran his fingers through her hair, and rubbed her back. "Iris, what's going on?"

"I-I...miss my friend." She choked, voice muffled from being pressed up against Barry's chest.

Barry gently pushed her back then, extremely confused.

"Iris, what do you mean?"

Iris stood there for a moment, gripping his forearm like it was helping to stabilize her, taking in deep shaky breaths to calm down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break down like that, it's just a really touchy subject."

"I know I've asked already, but do you want to talk?" Barry was a little surprised when she nodded, he didn't think she would share that sort of personal info with him.

"Can I just-?" Iris opened her arms, suggesting she wanted another hug, and Barry gladly nodded, and pulled her back against him.

"I don't know what's going on with him. He's been distant, and I know I'm not one to talk, but he ends our calls abruptly without explanation, he's been jumpy and startling easy, he hasn't been smiling as much, and I don't remember the last time he really opened up to me about his feelings. I know something is bothering him, he just won't tell me. I feel like I'm losing him, and I have a feeling I play a part in building this wedge that's been driven between us." Iris tried hard not to let her voice crack too much as she spoke. "Anyways, it seems as though there's this bubble around him, and I can't seem to pop it. I just want to know what's going on with my friend. I love Barry, I don't want him to slip away."

Barry was glad he was able to vibrate his features, he didn't want Iris to see that he was silently crying. This is exactly what he was telling Joe. If only she knew how badly he wanted to tell her everything. Barry stayed quiet, he didn't say anything in reply, and Iris seemed to be okay with that.

So they just stood there in each other's arms, swaying slightly with the brisk breeze that surrounded them.

"I'm sorry I just threw all of that on you, I just needed to get it out."

"No, it's alright, I understand the need to wanna get your feelings out in the open." Barry had a huge knot in the back of his throat, and then, under his breath, he whispered, "I really do."

Iris looked up at him then, gazed at his face, trying to make out little features. She placed a hand on his cheek, and smiled when he slowly started to stop vibrating them. "Now do you want to get something off of your chest?" Iris' voice was soft and gentle, easing Barry into a more relaxed state.

He leaned into her touch, and closed his eyes. "Secret identities suck." He mumbled, and then reached up to place a hand over the one that she was resting on his face. "I can't begin to express to you how much I wish you knew who I was."

Iris noticed the way his voice cracked, and she smiled sadly at him. "You don't have to keep it from me, you can tell me who you are. I'm a strong girl, I can protect myself." She whispered, and her heart fluttered when he stepped closer to her.

"I have no doubts about how strong you are, Iris. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with how strong these criminals are, these metahumans who are too much for even me to handle sometimes."

She stroked his cheek with her thumb. "You know you can always talk to me, right? If you ever feel like something is bothering you. I get that this is a hard life you're balancing."

"You are such an amazing person, you know that?"

"I could say the same about you a million times over."

"One day I'm going to take this mask off, one day we will have a face-to-face conversation with each other like normal people, everything out on the table."

Iris smiled at him again. He was so precious. She couldn't help but glance down at his lips, or rather the pinkish blur, and then back up to search for his eyes.

"So, what's going on in your life?" Iris was doing what she always did when she wanted to spend more time with him: asking more questions.

Barry shrugged, and then felt his eyes start to sting. He stared at the ground, slowly shaking his head. "It's a complicated situation that I can't really get into. It's still along the lines of secret identities suck."

"What about your team? Can you talk to them about it?"

"They only help so much." Cisco and Caitlin could only comfort him so much, but he really only wanted to talk to Iris. It was always her that he would open up to.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You know if you can't talk to me about it, Barry is a really good person to talk to. He's great at that kind of stuff, especially listening, and since he already knows who you are…"

Barry wanted to laugh. Gee, he should talk to Barry!

"Iris, I wanted to quickly address the situation you're going through with Barry. I think you should probably talk to him about it, tell him how you're feeling. How are you supposed to resolve your problems if he doesn't know what's going on between you two?" Okay, yeah, he was changing the topic.

"I mean, we already talked about how we're gaining some space, but it sort of got cut short…" Iris stopped talking then, and swiped a strand of hair behind her ear. "Things are really rough between us, I have no idea why. Okay, scratch that, I have a small idea why, but nothing that should be driving a wedge between us."

"Look at us, struggling with sharing our feelings." Barry laughed softly, and then pulled Iris into another hug. He always felt comforted when she was near him, especially when they hugged.

"Just know that all of my actions and intentions are for your well-being, alright?" Barry whispered, chin resting on Iris' head. He figured Iris wouldn't understand what he meant by that, but hopefully she kept that in mind when the inevitable identity reveal rolled around.

Ugh! Feelings! JUST TELL HER! XD