Author's Note:

Twice a week, this is some kind of record for me. Here comes another chapter. This is mostly interaction, but quite necessary.

On with the show! Please read and review.

That night in the Med bay while my ribs were mended was not the most restful of my life, and the discomfort was only responsible in part.

Once I drifted to sleep, I was assaulted with dreams. Now normally I don't remember my dreams at all unless they are extremely weird. Which, for me, is really saying something.

Generally it's something along the lines of: Ninjas have taken over the castle that I live in on the moon, and I need to impersonate Geordi La Forge from Star Trek to get it back.

That night, however, they took a turn for the dark and macabre.

Rivers of blood, moaning technozombies, massive ships blocking the sun.

Masses being slaughtered, electronics invading flesh, eyes closing and looking perfectly normal, yet when they open, an unpleasant fey glow has replaced the humanizing iris and pupil.

It was all disjointed, but still frightening enough.

I opened my eyes mid-groan, to find that I was on my side, and that I had dislodged one of the nodes of the machine I was hooked up to, in my tossing and turning. I quickly moved it back into place, silencing the steady tone of warning.

Seems like I'm not getting off that easy when it comes to the beacon vision. I suppose I should talk to either Shepard or Karin about that. Maybe both. If Liara offers to help make sense of it, that could pose a problem, at least as far as my memories of another life go. I'm too young to have Battle Fatigue, or whatever they call it.

Suffice it to say, I didn't get much more sleep after that. It wasn't for lack of trying, though I did dread having another of those dreams. I would doze off and say half an hour later I would startle awake from another round of atrocities parading across my eyelids.

Eventually I more or less gave up on sleeping, and did some fiddling on a project I had started in the academy on my spare time, not that there had been much of that.

Now what was the temperature tolerance on a kinetic barrier? If the plasma just breaks it down, there won't be much point in building it at all. Though if I can work out all the problems, having a functional lightsaber would be awesome, not to mention useful in close quarters fighting. Say if I get surprised while sniping. At these temperatures, the heat loss is going to be high, so I'll need to work in some kind of a recirculator to the plasma in the kinetic barrier containment. That way it can be reheated as necessary without needing to start over from an empty containment field. Though the temperature loss should be diluted so much by the outside matter that I should be able to hold the handle without burning myself, even barehanded. Just like holding a welding torch.

What pattern and density of kinetic barrier would I need to allow it to cut like a plasma cutter...

The night passed, and the morning watch came on, which meant that under normal circumstances I would be on duty. However, by the Medical officer's adamant decree, I was to remain off duty until she deemed me medically fit. Thus, while others were allowed to move about the ship, and to perform their duties. I was required to remain tethered to my diagnostic bed. And while I was used to remaining immobile for hours at a time, I was also used to it being my own choice.

Thus when Karin came back on duty I was somewhat less than cordial in my greetings.

I suppose she's right about medical professionals making the worst patients. Though since I'm also a marine, that gives me a double whammy. Besides, these things are uncomfortable.

"Just as restless as any of my patients, I see." Karin's light hearted first comment left no doubt that she had expected my reaction and was not offended.

"That obvious, am I?" I had raised my head to see her as she entered, but now I let it fall back to the bed.

"I wouldn't be much of a shipboard medical officer if I weren't also a student of the human mind."

By this point, Karin had sat down at her desk, so I turned my head to meet her eyes.

"Karin, you know what kind of memories I have of people tethered to medical equipment. But that's not the only reason I'm having difficulties. You remember that both the Commander and I received an information burst from the beacon?"

She nodded.

"Well, the content was extremely emotional, and involved forcible cybernetics, and vast amounts of violence to innocents. The Protheans, to be specific. So you'll understand, I hope, that encountering Prothean technology awakens those memories, particularly when I have nothing to do. That is why I barely got any sleep at all last night."

I closed my eyes, "I can barely get to sleep before I'm woken with night terrors."

I opened my eyes and met Karin's, weary.

"It will not affect the performance of my duties, at least I hope not. But until it does, I would appreciate it, if you could keep that confidential."

Karin got to her feet and walked to my bedside, placing a hand on my forehead.

"Of course," she said, her voice soft and pained.

I let out a breath in relief. "Thanks."

"I do intend to talk to Shepard about this, but moment of weakness aside, I don't think it will affect me often."

"I believe you." came a smoky contralto voice from the entrance to the med bay.

I jerked to a sitting position, nearly hitting my head on the overhead arch, and yanking several leads off their positions on my torso in the process.

"Shepard!"

"I didn't mean to startle you. I do seem to be making a habit of doing just that, however."

Shepard sauntered over to my bed as Karin hurriedly reattached the loose leads.

"Doctor, how much longer does he need to be in here?"

"A few hours, assuming he doesn't detach these leads again." This was said with a mild glare in my direction.

"Could you give us a few minutes?" This was not an order, but a request.

"Certainly, Shepard." Karin looked at me as she started walking to the door.

"Now, if you loosen those again, so help me I will glue them to your skin."

She walked out and the door shut behind her.

I looked at Shepard.

She turned back to me and said "I see you've discovered the difference between working with Karin and being her patient."

I shrugged, and then asked "How much did you hear?"

She cocked her head to the side, "Most of it. I came in just after Chakwas did."

I winced, this time not as a result of a twinge in my ribs. "I see." I took a deep breath and then let it out as a sigh. "Well then you caught up to me in the 'witnessing moments of weakness' score. Got any questions? Though its completely unrelated to what I wanted to speak with you about, Shepard."

"Maybe a couple," Shepard leaned into the next bed over, nonchalant and relaxed.

"What are the memories you mentioned about being tethered?" she paused a moment and then added, "If it's too personal or unpleasant you can tell me to piss off."

"It is kinda personal, but..." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"You deserve to know, especially since it may affect my performance."

"Several years ago, my mom and youngest brother were injured very severely. So much so that for several days it was up in the air as to whether they would survive. Scariest days of my life. They eventually needed a cloned replacement spleen each, some reconstruction of various bones, and some extensive work done to repair brain damage. Tim had about as many rib breaks as I do now." I felt my lips curl in a grim smile. "He was pretty loopy for a couple of weeks there too."

Shepard was listening, attentive, her lips pursed, and eyes intent. When I opened my own eyes, I saw that she had tensed.

Oh, crap. She doesn't have the best kind of memories about family.

I furrowed my brows. "Sorry Shepard, didn't mean to bring up any unpleasant memories."

I shifted around so I was sitting on the edge of the bed, careful so as to not disturb the leads attached to me.

"Remember what I said about the team? That we can become like family? I meant it then, and I still mean it now. I know we can't replace what any of us have lost, but we can help it hurt less."

Geez, can it with the touchy-feely, dude.

"Anyway, that Drake guy after the ambush, I have some suspicions about him."

Shepard had been working to keep her composure, but at my last comment she looked at me sharply.

"What 'Drake guy'? What are you talking about?"

huh? You mean that wasn't over the team comms? It was a private channel?

"Okay, then we have more to talk about than I thought."

I hung my head as if exhausted, which wasn't too far off the mark.

"Just as Garrus, Wrex and Kaidan broke the ambushing force, someone contacted me over the comms. Didn't realize it wasn't over the party line with the rest of you."

Shepard interrupted, "Speaking of which, why didn't you tell me that the ambush was coming? Didn't you know?"

I shook my head. "No, as far as I knew, the last fighting we would need to do was at the top of that prothean elevator, that krogan and geth that tried to sucker punch us. It didn't happen the way I knew, that's partly why I'm so jittery about this other guy."

"He introduced himself as Joseph Drake. He was really snobby. Basically taunted me about not having done as well as he thought I would. Sounded like he considers himself quite the puppetmaster. Now, I've never heard of this guy before. But he said something about the two of us, he and I, having more in common than the rest of you."

I looked at Shepard, apprehensive. "What if he is like me? I mean, from another universe or a dimension hopper or whatever you want to call what happened to me. It would explain how things are starting to change. Maybe he's doing it."

Shepard leaned back, thinking.

I put my face in my hands. "I'm not wise enough to figure out what I should interfere with and what I shouldn't."

Shepard cracked a smile. "How do you think I've felt ever since the academy? Welcome to the joys of command, Doc."

She chuckled, and leaned closer, shading her mouth from view with her hand.

"I'll tell you a secret. You move forward anyway, and don't let anyone see the doubt. As far as anyone else can tell, you're all wise." She snorted, as if she'd thought of something funny.

"I take it back, at least one person can tell otherwise. We all need a safety valve, someone we don't need to be strong around. It makes it bearable the rest of the time."

"I guess that'll have to be you for the moment Shepard. Since you've already heard my whining." I said this with a grimace.

"Now, you think this Drake person is screwing with the timeline you know about, right? Has anything major changed yet?" Her eyes were searching as they met mine.

"Not yet, just details about tactics."

"Then I have an assignment for you. I want you to learn all you can about the significant locations and situations ahead of time. So I am appointing you my liason to the Alliance and Spectre intelligence organizations. I need an intelligence officer. Someone who can get me the info I need to plan smart. I don't want you to tell me everything. That would be a crutch. I do expect you to inform me about anything major. However, I want you to use your best judgement as to what I should know about a given situation. To keep your other sources secret, you may refer to 'a confidential source' when you need to let me know something you know from your foreknowledge."

I couldn't hold it in. "Damn it, Shepard! You die! Possibly multiple times! How am I supposed to figure out whether or not to tell you about that, huh‽"

Shepard shuddered, but that was the only reaction. "You see, this is the kind of thing I wouldn't mind not knowing. But I appreciate where you're coming from. No wonder you have nightmares."

My chin on my chest, I reply "Shepard, that's just the beginning. At Saren's base of operations, when we find it, you always lose either Ash or Kaidan taking it out. Yes, I know where it is, and Yes I know where and what the Conduit is, I just don't know the location of the relay that leads to it. There's going to be a naval battle and and invasion of the Citadel. Between 20 and 30 cruisers lost, along with possibly the Council and the Destiny Ascension. So figure 8 to 20 thousand military casualties. And through it all, Udina is going to be a hypocritical douchebag. Actually, for the next several years that will basically be his default setting. The Council will be typical politicians, never moving without overwhelming evidence, and discrediting and ignoring you and the rest of us wherever possible. Constantly doing armchair criticism. You'd think that Sparatus wouldn't sink to that, having served in the Hierarchy military." I ran out of steam.

Shepard stared at me for a moment.

"As much as I enjoy having just left the great Commander Shepard speechless, I actually wasn't trying this time." I closed my eyes wearily.

I wish I could get some real sleep.

Shepard still looked stunned, but managed to muster, "You really do have a lot of detail...but most of that is beside the point for the moment." She looked more confident now.

"Knowing the location of Saren's base of operations would be very useful. Though I suppose we wouldn't be able to prove it without going there ourselves or finding out through other sources. Is it in CItadel space at least?"

I made a face. "Technically, yes, but it's extremely close to the Terminus Systems, so normally the Council won't support anything there unless there is significant political change in the region."

Shepard looked to be struggling with herself, but said "I don't suppose there are any shortcuts that you know about? Missions we can skip to get at the main enemy sooner?"

I really hate being the sage advisor to someone as savvy and experienced as Shepard.

They ask the hard questions.

"I might possibly be able to get some information out of the Council database entries on Saren's activities, but honestly I don't recommend it. The major missions all provide something we need to have. But if you can avoid going back to the Citadel after taking out Saren's base, that might save some time. Because Udina ends up locking out the Normandy's systems and preventing us from going after Saren until we figure out a way to steal the Normandy."

Hmm, getting recordings of any time we have any significant developments might help

"Oh, I know there isn't any helmet cam in my sniper hood, but I don't suppose that yours does?"

Shepard had begun to wilt into herself. She looked tired, much more tired than I felt.

"No, why?"

"Because repeatedly the powers that be will ignore what you tell them because there is no record. So at the least we should try to record any development that we come across."

I pursed my lips, becoming frustrated that Shepard isn't overtly paying attention, her eyes unfocused and staring off into infinity.

"Shepard! Are you listening?"

"I'm listening, Doc. I'm thinking things through as to our next step."

She turned to me and focused, her eyes hard as sapphires.

"And if we were not speaking informally, I could write you up for insubordination for that last remark if I had a mind to, Lieutenant."

I cringe slightly, feeling a little ashamed of myself. I notice though, that the cringe didn't really hurt this time.

The medical gadget must be nearly done. Impressive.

"Sorry, Shepard. That was out of line." I lean back, using my hands to support myself.

"I suppose I let the stress get to me."

Shepard acknowledged my apology with a nod, then said "Its easy to do, particularly on little sleep. I know I've had my own nightmares."

She straightened and stood up.

"I'll get you the necessary clearance to be my intelligence liason. If there's something that I need to know during the planning stages of a mission, feel free to pull me aside and let me know. However, once a mission is underway, I'll need you to follow orders without question. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am."

She walked to the foot of the bed, "See if you can get some sleep. I'll leave you in Dr Chakwas's capable hands."

"Thanks Shepard, for letting me vent."

"I do what I can for my crew, and you're a friend besides. Get better quickly, I'll need you out there."

She exited the Medbay. Moments later, Karin rejoined me.

She gave me something to at least reduce the intensity of any nightmares. I was exhausted after the mostly sleepless night and my emotionally charged discussion with Shepard.

I lay back and closed my eyes...and hoped not to dream.

As I began to fall asleep, I felt the ship change course as the momentum dampeners kicked in and the hum of the drive core changed its tempo.

My last thought before entering the realm of Morpheus was this:

What am I going to do about Drake?