October 1986

Lily Rhodes had long forgotten about her last fight with Rufus, it had been months ago. Inspite of all their differences, they were really commited to each other. She had been to every concert of his band and going to this boring all-girls-school didn't mean that she was spending less time with Rufus.

Her mother could not slow her down, Lily thought she had her in check. She was more worried by the fact that Rufus was going to be on tour. Luckily, it was just the U.S. for now, but she didn't want to think about him traveling to exotic places or 'just' Europe.

Although he had flown to Texas only three days ago, Lily already had a yearning for him.
She wanted to be at today's concert, so she didn't mind her mother being away for the weekend with Elly's mom. She had no idea that the two women were planning to follow her.

Lily put her clothes in her bag. Next to the oldfashioned stuff she still wore for her mom, she had more stylish clothes, which were also easy to wash. She looked at her watch and realized that she had to hurry if she wanted to catch her flight. As she was on her way out, Elly came up to her.

Lily hardly recognized her friend who used to be so vivacious. Although they hadn't been talking for months, Lily was worried about her.

"Where are you going?" Eleanor who was pale and had lost a lot of weight looked at her friend's bag. Then she remembered that 'Lincoln Hawk' were on tour.
"Oh, ok...your rocker...!"
"He is not a rocker! Ok, he is. But Rufus is also my boyfriend. Elly, what is going on? Can we talk in the cab? I have to get to the airport."

Elly nodded, she was relieved that Lily was still talking to her, after all she had done. Minutes later, the two girls were in the back of a cab, and after a few minutes of silence, Elly's head fell on Lily's shoulder. She was crying her heart out and Lily hated having to leave in a state like that. But soon she would hardly see Rufus at all. She wanted to enjoy every second she had with him. Even if all the Gossip Girls in town called her THE groupie, she didn't care. She wanted only him and he wanted only her. She sincerely hoped it would stay that way, she trusted him.

"Elly, what's the matter? I don't really know you anymore."

"Lucky girl! I wish I didn't know me anymore! But...ever since I've had this abortion...Lily, I killed my baby! I thought I could get over it, but I can't. And Harold doesn't even know..."

Lily was shocked and wondered what else she had missed. She had been so in love, she hadn't even noticed how miserable Elly was. She felt very guilty. Elly noticed that Lily was about to tell the driver to turn around.

"Please don't do that, Lily! If you want to do me a favour, go and see Rufus. Be happy! And don't let anybody tell you he's bad for you. Love each other, but be careful."

"But Elly, I can't leave you like this."

"You have to, Lily. Thanks for listening. I'll be fine. Will you come back?"

Tenderly, Lily stroke her friends' hair. Finally, they were close again. Lily hoped that Elly would find her way and her happiness. Maybe with Harold...

"Of course, sweetie! Rufus and I are so much in love, we don't even feel the distance anymore. Soon I won't be able to travel anymore, but he will come to me. Do you want a cowboy from Texas as a souvenir?"

"Yeehaw!" Elly answered and started laughing. The two of them held hands until they arrived at the airport. They separated after a long hug, they knew they could always count on each other, wherever they were.

Hours later in Texas...

The 'Lincoln Hawk' show had been a succes, last but not least because of the bubbly blond girl in the front row, who wasn't only turning up the heat for Rufus, but in the whole venue.There was not one person who didn't admire her, not only because she was Rufus' girlfriend.

Before signing autographs, Rufus kissed his beloved Lily on her sensuous lips. Both felt free and happy.

"I'm so proud of you, honey!" Rufus whispered so tenderly, Lily got goosebumps.

"What can I say about you, my rock star? I love you, Rufus Humphrey!"

"And I love you even more, Lily Rhodes!" The two of them had to laugh. One moment later, Rufus was dragged away by a band mate and while he was giving autographs – no kisses for the poor girls – Lily decided to go outside and get some air.

She was shocked when Mrs. Waldorf and her own mother showed up a couple of minutes later. Before she could say a word, CeCe Rhodes hissed:

"Young lady, I've had it with you. I am sick and tired of you walking all over me. You're coming home with me!"

"And if I don't want to?" Lily pulled a face like a spoiled little kid . She hoped her mother would show some heart; she was disappointed.

"You're just 17, remember. And I have something to cheer you up..." CeCe pulled out a credit card, no, more than one...
She offered them to Lily. How long had she wanted her own credit card? But was she willing to put her love in jeopardy just to go shopping? CeCe saw that she was indecisive and enjoyed it.

"Lillian, I can give you so much more than this poor fellow. And what about William van der Woodsen? He wants to take you on his father's yacht. You could travel Europe, the world. Don't be stupid, Lily. What is a kiss from this rocker compared to a life of luxury? I know you. You enjoy the life we lead."

Lily shook her head , not so much to her mom as to herself. She hated these doubts in her mind. Why couldn't she just say "No!", there was nothing to it. Sure, she would have to go back to New York, but CeCe would not be able to keep her from Rufus for long. Even if it would be tough for Lily...

CeCe just wanted to soften her daughter up before this Humphrey guy showed up.

"Lily, child. Please don't throw away your life. You know you won't have any money if you leave me. I didn't let my mother down and you know how much I inherited. I don't need the money, I will give it to you. You can live like a queen, Lily. Come on!"

Lily's knees got shaky, she didn't know what to do. It was too tempting, she had to admit, her future was as unstable as her knees right now. What if Rufus left her for another groupie? She would be without money and without a home. A relationship with William, combined with her own wealth seemed more appealing than ever.

But when she closed her eyes, she saw the sad dark eyes of Rufus, then she saw him smile again, she felt his kisses. No, she would not give up her true love.
Love meant sacrifice.

"I'm sorry...No, actually I'm not sorry, Mom. I cannot accept your offer. Maybe ou can keep me away from him for the rest of the tour, but not forever. We will always find each other, we love each other too much."

CeCe's smile froze. She did not understand how her own child could be so stupid. If she wanted to learn the hard way...Moments later, she was making it perfectly clear to her daughter that her life wasn't going to be the only one that would be ruined if she stayed. CeCe pointed out that she would turn Rufus' life into hell, she knew people. Lily knew she didn't have a choice, although she would feel guilty all her life.

An hour later...

Rufus didn't believe what he was hearing, he even doubted Lily's mental health. Maybe the poor thing was tired? Why on earth did she want to break up with him?

"Rufus, I know you don't understand. But I've been thinking. We're too different."

"Yeah, you're blond and I'm stupid. Now seriously, honey, what is going on? I just can't believe you don't love me anymore."

Lily knew that she had to change her plan, as painful as it was. But she would never get rid of Rufus (not that she wanted it) if she didn't make it clear to him that their love didn't make sense.

"Rufus, please, don't talk about love! We're teenagers, what do we know?"

If it hadn't been for those dark puppy eyes...
"Lily, I really believe someone put something in your coke. An hour ago you told me that you love me."

"My god, Rufus! You can't be this naive! I never loved you. Sure, we had fun, but we should leave it at that. William however..."

Rufus' eyes got wide and Lily realised that her method worked. What was more frightening to a man than another man? (Well, a mother maybe, but Rufus would never find out about that)

"Ok, so the reason for your sudden change of mind is William. Why, Lily? Please explain it to me! We had so much fun and don't forget how much we loved each other..."

Lily had to turn away when she saw the tears in her boyfriend's eyes. Why couldn't he just go? Why did he force her to hurt him even more? She had to end it – and she would always hate herself for it.

Lily forced herself to sound cold when she said: "Love? I recall William loving me even better three days ago. Don't look at me like that. I thank you for taking the fear away. But it's just perfect with...RUFUS!"

Lily had achieved what her mother wanted. Rufus bolted and did not turn around. He ran for his life, this damned girl should not see his tears. How could she hurt him so much? He would never make a fool of himself again. He would never believe in true love again.

He accidently bumped into a slim, blond girl who didn't even yell at him, she just smiled. Alison liked this cute guy, but he ran on and didn't look at her. The girl sighed and picked up the folder with drawings she had dropped. Some day she would be famous and this boy would pay attention to her...

Another blond girl sat in a cab next to her mother who was chatting to her friend about the latest fashion, not feeling any guilt. She didn't notice Lily crying. Lily Rhodes had to break the heart of her true love, so he could enjoy his life. If Rufus only knew...Lily would not be happy for a long time and even if life had other plans for the two separated love birds, they would never forget each other!