Hi, peoples! I'm BACK! Aren't you lucky…Okay, I was reading my story when I noticed something terrible, I HAVEN'T PICKED ON TENTEN YET! NOOOOOOO! Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimito, my home boy! XD

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#11- Tenten; Boy or Girl

It was 2 o'clock in the morning, and Gai crept though the streets of Konaha, dressed all in black.

He was on a very important mission; Get Lee.

Lee was dreaming about squirrels and all their squirrley goodness, when he heard a knock on his window. He woke up, and opened the window.

Who do you suppose was there?

THE MUFFIN MAN!

Sorry, I've always wanted to put the muffin man in one of my fics…

WOW! I'm off topic already! That was what… 3 sentences?

Really, it was GAI!

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAAAIIII-SSSSEEEENNNSSSEEEIIII!"

"LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Big rock, sunset, some dolphins… (A/N- It's 2 o'clock in the morning…)

After that, Gai said to Lee, "Now, I have a very important mission, and I want you to help me with it!" Gai said, being his usual, loud, overexcited self.

"YA! Gai-sensei!"

"Sorry, Lee, but we have a one sunset sequence per a chapter limit. Next time."

"ALRIGHT! What is our awesome and youthful mission?"

"We are going to-"

-The Next Morning-

Neji was walking towards the training grounds, when he passed by Tenten's house. As usual, he stopped to wait for her. Being the only two sane members of Team Gai, and Tenten's house was on the way to the training grounds, Neji and Tenten usually walked there together. At least, that was his excuse. Really, he got lonely walking all by himself, but this has no significance to the plot,(A/N- There's a plot? FUCK! Why don't people tell me about these things!) so I'm going to stop.

Back to the actual story!(A/N- This is a story? FUCK! I feel unloved. T.T)

Neji noticed something. There were two people in the tree outside Tenten's window.

2 very familiar people.

Who were they… THE MUFFIN MAN AND HIS WIFE!

No, really, it was the MUFFIN MAN AND HIS WIFE!

Guess what?

I'M KIDDING!

"What are you 2 doing?" Neji asked.

Lee and Gai, jumped, falling out of the tree.

"We're trying to find out whether it's a boy or a girl."

"Who?"

Neji looked in the window. "Tenten?"

"Well, duh, it's Tenten's house, right?" Gai said, rolling his eyes.

Neji blinked. "She's a girl."

"How do you know?"

Neji pulled out Tenten's file out of his back pocket.

"See, it says 'gender :female'."

"It does?" The green Beasts asked.

"Yes, can't you read?"

The 2 green beasts burst into tears. "NO! WAAAAHHHH!"

Then, they stopped. "Why do you have Tenten's file?"

"Er…um…I got to go!"

Neji than ran away, leaving a cloud of dust behind him.

-That afternoon-

Gai looked left, then right. Then he gave the all clear sign to Lee, who came running after him. The 2 snuck in through the window.

"Wow…"They both whispered, looking around.

Lee turned to Gai. "I've never been in a girl's room before."

"Be careful, Lee. We're not even sure that it is a girl."

"Right!"

"Now, let searching begin!"

The 2 then proceeded to search through Tenten's room. All they found was weapons, weapons, weapons, and a dead elephant!

They were searching through Tenten's underwear drawer when, -gasp- TENTEN CAME IN! AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

"What are you 2 doing?" She asked in a venomous tone.

The two turned around slowly.

Very slowly.

"Uh, hi Tenten. We were…" Gai said, thinking of a good excuse.

"LOOKING FOR LEE!" Lee screamed.

"WOW, WE FOUND HIM! NICE WORK IN FINDING LEE, LEE!" Gai screamed.

"Er, we'll be going now."

The two than ran away, leaving behind a very pissed Tenten.

-At their Secret Green, Youthful, spandexy Lair-

"Lee, our last attempt was a failure, but we won't fail again!" Gai screamed, flames rising in his eyes!

"YES GAI-SENSEI, OUR YOUTH WILL HELP US TO FIND OUT TENTEN'S GENDER!"

"I'm telling you, she's a girl."

"Neji!"

The green beasts looked up to see Neji.

"How did you find out secret lair!"

"It's a card board box in the middle of the most crowded street in Konaha."

Gai stood up and looked at all the people rushing past. "So it is, Neji, so it is…"

Gai looked back at Neji, then screamed "NEJI!"

"what."

…

"WILL YOU HELP US?"

Silence.

Silence.

Sneeze.

"Bless you."

"Thank you."

Silence.

Neji turned and started to leave.

"NO! Just listen to what we have to say."

"Does it involve me using my Byukugan to see if Tenten's a girl or boy?"

"No, we were going to ask you just to ask her, but that's an even better idea!"

Neji just left.

-Later-

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeaase."

"No."

"…I'll give you sugar to use your Byukugan to look…"

Neji thought for second. It was very tempting…

"Well?"

"…How much sugar?"

"…1 gallon."

"…More."

"2?"

"More."

"3?"

"More."

"I don't have anymore!"

"…Tough."

Neji started to leave.

"No, wait!"

Neji ignored him.

"Please, come ba- NOW LEE!"

Lee jumped out of nowhere, a tree, and tackled Neji.

"LEE, YOU IDIOT, WHAT ARE Y-"

Gai came over a shoved a giant funnel in Neji's mouth. He then proceeded to dump 6 gallons of sugar down the funnel and into his esophagus.

Neji slowly sat up, smiling in a weird way.

"Back away Lee…"

Neji then jumped up a screamed, now a scared scream, but a I-just-had-6-gallons-of-sugar-and-that's-bad-because-I-usualy-can't-handle-one-Tootsie-roll scream. (Is that a real scream? Oh well, it's one now…)

He then started running around in circle's, then ran straight towards the training grounds.

Tenten was sitting in peace. Butterflies flew around her, and birds chirped. The sun shone brightly, and-

"MOMMY!" Neji came tearing into the clearing, followed closely by Lee and Gai.

Tenten looked up. "MOMMY!"

Neji then tackled her into a hug, knocking her of the rock in which she was sitting.

"NEJI, WHAT ARE YOU-"

"MOMMY!"

"NOW LEE!"

Lee started to- do something, when Neji asked

"MOMMY! WHY DO PEOPLE TRAIN WHEN THEY CAN JUST USE STEROIDS?"

He then reached into his pouch/bag/thing, and pulled out a needle.

"SO THAT'S HOW MY RIVAL HAS BEEN BEATING ME!"

Lee then grabbed the needle and injected himself, thus turning into the Incredible Bulk.

Lee then stalked away, still in Bulk form, while Gai chased after him.

"Mommy, why did daddy take my steroids?"

-The Next Day-

"Okay, Lee, our last attempt was a failure."

Lee nodded.

"But, today is a new day!"

"YES, GAI-SENSEI!"

"NOW, TIME FOR A NEW METHOD, THE DIRECT APPROACH!"

Gai turned around on Tenten's doorstep, where he had been standing, and knocked on her door.

"Yes, Gai-sensei?" Tenten asked, opening the door.

"Are you a girl or a boy?"

…Cricket…

Tenten punched Gai in the face so hard, he flew to Suna, went to the beach, got a tan, and came back. Everyone was jelous of his awsome tan. So they all went to Suna, causing over population, but Gaara didn't give a shit.

-Later-

"PLEASE NEJI!"

"NO!"

"PLEASE!"

"NO!"

"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING!"

"NO!"

"…Please?"

"NO!"

"Just one little peek!"

"No, I'm suppost to use my powers for good, not evil." (A/N- Ya, right…)

"We're good."

"No, first you got me high. Then you sent me to Tenten. THEN YOU LEFT ME TO HAVE THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF ME!"

"…She beat the shit out of you?"

"Ya, want to see the scars?"

"Oh, yes please!"

-Even Later-

Gai and Lee crept down the dark ally. Another dark figure came from the other side.

"You got the goods?" The mysterious man asked.

"Yep, here you go." Gai said, handing the man a package.

"Okay." The man pulled of his hood to reveal… PIKACHU!

Sorry…wrong show.

JIARAYA!

"Okay, where is it?"

"At it's house."

"Perfect."

Then, the 3 men all laughed evilly, until some lady screamed "IT'S 2 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, ASSHOLES!" A plant was then thrown out the window, missed all 3 of them, and then they proceeded to Tenten's house.

-At Tenten's House-

The 3 stood in Tenten's yard, staring up at the window, by the tree that Lee and Gai were in earlier.

"I'm going in…" Jiaraya said.

He then climbed up the tree.

There, he found Neji with popcorn.

The 2 looked at each other.

Then, Jiaraya climbed down the tree.

"Where are you-"

"It's not worth it man, it's not worth it…"

-The Next Morning-

"Lee, I say we now do the chicken dance!"

"Why, Gai-sensei?"

"Because the author is in a writer's block, needs to get some more soda, and some sugar, then be good to go!" '

"Alright!"

The 2 danced…

Still dancing…

Alright! I'm good!

"Now, WE STOP!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!"

"Now, we're going to…"

-Little Later-

…

-A Little More Later-

Gai and Lee were in the library, researching the difference between males and females. And how to tell them apart, of course.

"Well, this proves it. We need Neji."

"YES, GAI-SENSEI!"
"SHHH! LEE, SHUT UP!"

"SORRY GAI-SENSEI!"

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!"

The dynamic spandex duo turned around to see a fuming librarian.

-Outside-

Gai and Lee landed on the ground with a loud "UMPH!"

"AND DON'T COME BACK!"

"BITCH! I HOPE YOU BURN IN FUCKING HELL, YOU MOTHER FUCKIN' BITCH! IT WOULD FUCKIN' SERVE YOU RIGHT, FUCKIN' ASSHOLE! YOU'LL PROBABLY MEET YOU FUCKIN' MOM THERE TOO BECAUSE I WENT AND FUCKIN' SHOT HER IN THE FUCKIN' HEAD AND THEN HUNG HER FUCKIN' DEAD BODY WITH HER FUCKIN' INTESTINE!"

Gai turned back to Lee, who was twitching.

"Now then, let's find Neji!"

-With Neji-

Neji was peacefully doing…stuffs. Neji stuffs. … You don't want to know.

Anywho, then Lee and Gai came charging out of no where screaming "NEJI!"

Neji calmly put away his…tools…to do…Neji stuffs.

He then turned to the dynamic spandex duo.

"NEJI!"

"WHAT!"

"WE NEED YOU! WE'RE DESPERATE! WE WANT YOU!"

Neji twitched.

"Whoops. That turned out wrong…"

"No shit, sherlock."

"What we mean is, we want you to see if Tenten's a girl or… shit. He ran away."

Gai and Lee looked around.

Then, they ate pie.

The pie Neji was making in his room all by himself, without an oven.

WHAP!

"THAT WHAT YOU GET FOR TOUCHING M' PIE BITCH!" Neji ran away with the pie.

"Ow…" Gai started to cry.

-Later (After Gai's hour long episode)-

"Neji! Please!"

"…You ate my pie…"

"Why did you have pie?"

"…Do you really want to know…"

"…Never mind…"

"Why should I help you?"

"I didn't want to have to do this…" Gai pulled out a photo, then handed it to Neji.

Neji's eyes widened. Then, he put the photo in his pocket.

"…Fine…"

-Tenten's Backyard-

"Okay, Neji you ready?"

Neji nodded, his face growing pale.

Neji did some hand signs, then whispered, "Byukugan!"

He then looked at Tenten.

That day it was confirmed that Tenten was indeed a girl… and Neji suffered a fatal nosebleed. He survived because he had to go to the hospital for his medication anyway…

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BAM! Finally over! WHOO! Review! WHOO!

That reminds me, I was reading my reviews the other day, actually, my brother was reading them to me, out loud, in an extremely retarded voice, which nearly made me fall over in total laughter, that we realized, YOU ALL THINK I'M A MAN! I'M A WOMAN I'LL HAVE YOU ALL KNOW. BITCHES! REVIEW! AND CALL ME A WOMAN GOD DAMN YOU!

Next up: Total World Domination!

Sorry, I meant FANFICTION!

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"WAHOO! I'm PAIRED UP WITH SAKURA 2 TIMES!"

"That's great, Lee…"

"I know, isn't it?"

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Neji lifted the broken laptops monitor.

"Whoops…"

"And we thought you were the smart one." Tenten said.

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P.S.- Next time I'm changing something. You have to read to find out!