A teenage Bughead kinda chapter

Love Hurt Elizabeth Cooper

I keep wiping heavy-hearted tears from my face and I feel my mascara smudge. I hadn't felt so alone in a long time. There were people all around me but I feel so small. I feel almost-forgotten small and I wish they would stop looking at me. I don't know if they are looking at me or if maybe the burning at the back of my head was simply that; all in my head.

I sniff loudly and I feel tight-gripping in my head but I should have known this. I wish I could predict the future, or I wish I didn't have such pink-girly-sugar dreams. It was my dreams that betrayed me but every night I would have all the same sickly-sweet dreams of Archie and I, star athlete with me on his side. He was always the root of my smiles, the reason why I laugh. He was the one I was in love with but he wasn't in love with me.

Even sitting here in Pop's sipping on my always-vanilla shake was making me feel a little sick and making my tears fall. Archie, Jug and I always come here. We always share shakes. We always come here together. How many late night runs had Archie and I done together when he'd text me and ask me to sneak out for our shakes and fries? Did he feel it too? The non-stop-butterflies and the blushing cheeks? Or was that just me?

Of course it was just me. I was the only one with stupid-dumb-butterflies.

He loved me, like a brother would love a sister. He has a love for me that never dies but it's not the same as the love I hold for him. It makes me question the last sixteen years that I've known him. The last ten years in which we spent every moment together. I just question so much.

I feel dead-love in my throat. I can feel it creeping up into my skin. I want to make noise, I want to shout. But why? It isn't fair, is it? It's not his fault that he doesn't love me. It's all mine. It's my fault that I love him. I feel stupid, I shouldn't lose not-loved-back tears. I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't feel what I'm feeling.

I wipe my eyes again, I'm grateful that Pop doesn't question my running mascara and he replaces my shake with a fresh one. I keep up here on my own with the burning eyes on me.

"Betty?" I hear in front of me. I look up and see beanie and laptop satchel heavy on shoulders. Jughead.

I sniff out loud and I try to smile at him. I shouldn't have cried in front of Jughead the amount of times I have but as soon as I see him I feel fresh-river-tears on my cheeks again and a sob in my throat.

He frowns and rushes over to me. "Betty, are you ok?" he asks, panic running loud through his voice.

I could lie and tell him I was fine, I was crying happy tears. I'm fine. I'm crying for no reason. In a way, this was true. I was crying for no reason that was worthy. I sniff out loud again and force a smile at Jughead which he doesn't buy. "I'm ok," I tell him.

He sniggers and rolls his eyes and even this somewhat irritating trademark of his, I felt a little ease with him being here. "You don't look ok, Betty," he says stiffly. "You look kind of bad."

"No shit," I say rubbing my face with a napkin. "I feel kind of bad too."

"Tell me a lie, Sunlight, come on," he coaxes me.

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

He sits down across from me, placing his hands on mine. I feel my hands relax. I feel my heart relax. My headache goes. "I'm just being stupid," I mumble. "Nothing to worry about."

"You're never stupid, Sunlight," he murmurs, rubbing my hands. "Is it anything I can help with?"

I laugh humourlessly. "Just you being here is nice," I reply quietly. "But you don't have to be."

He steals a fry and places it in his mouth before grabbing my shake and taking a sip. He raises his eyebrow and gives me a smug smile. "Why? I guess you're referring to the fact that we don't hang like we used to?"

I swallow down a sip of the shake too and I look away from his deep blue eyes, it's only now in the lights of Pop's that I see just how deep they are and how his smile turns up on the right hand side. "I'm sorry we don't, Juggie," I say patting his hand.

He lifts his shoulders and chucks another fry in his mouth. "Don't be sorry, Betty," he says loudly. "Archie ditched too, but you didn't promise a roadie so it doesn't matter. You can't break a promise you never made."

I feel worse than before but I lift my hand to wipe sauce from the corner of his mouth, he laugh-trembles against my hand. "Archie's the thorn in my side too," I tell him honestly. "It's horribly cliché of me to fall in love with my best friend," I grumble.

Jughead raises an eyebrow and runs thumbs over my knuckles before rubbing his beanie over his face. "Well I guess if you had to pick one, he would be the better pick," he laughs. "Because I'm a little unhinged – a little to Donnie Darko for some, apparently. And he's swoon-worthy handsome and Greek God like."

I laugh at Jughead and reach over to shove his shoulder but he keeps his beanie off and I grab it off the table and slide it on. "Do I look Jughead-Darko-esque?" I ask him pointing at the hat.

He pretends to contemplate the answer and taps his chin. "You're missing the dark rings under your eyes and the suspenders."

I point at him and curl my finger. "Hand them over then," I tell him feeling my heart light-laughing-ease.

He snaps his suspenders on his chest and shakes his head. "I have a feeling you're trying to go strip poker on me."

"It would be a good laugh, so maybe it's a good idea."

He clutches his chest and pretends to be insulted. "That's really bad for my ego, you know that right?"

I lean back on the back of the booth and I smile to myself with Juggie's hat on my head. "You're making me blush-happy at the moment," I tell him. "Thank you, Juggie."

He smiles back and leans on the booth as well, shake between his lips. "You don't deserve to feel like this, Sunlight. You're so much more than this, than Riverdale, than Archie."

I feel my cheeks go red again and I pull down his beanie in the same way as he always does when he's embarrassed. But he bites his lip with his smile. "I can't shake these feelings and the worst part is now he knows."

"Is it the worst part though?" Jughead asks. "Or is it better knowing that you're free from the shackles and you know where you stand?"

"You're brain is amazing," I reply. "Because you're right."

"You're set free, you're out in the open. You know where you stand, you can do whatever you want. Move on, we're only sixteen. There's more out there."

I smile to my best friend, the one I hadn't spent time with in forever and it makes me wonder what had I been doing in all that time? It was time wasted because right here, right now, I feel everything I had missed out on since I hadn't been with Juggie. "Thank you, Juggie, for always knowing exactly what to say."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Anything for you, Sunny Betty," he murmurs but he grabs his bag. "I better go though.."

"Don't!" I say a little quickly, I clear my throat. "Don't go," I tell him, "Just be with me here."

He eases back down and puts his bag next to him. "I'm here, Betty, I'm still here."

The previous three chapters and this one fit one after the other, just so you know. Review?