A/N: Hi, sorry this is late. I've got another chapter in the works and it should be out by friday, haha, so I hope thats enough to pacify you guys. :D
And thank you so much to my reviewers: Qwi-Xux, IH8ABBREVIATIONS, Poisonous Disasters and Feeny. Id give you all my halloween candies except I've pretty much eaten it all. It was slim pickings this year. Again. *tears*
ps. am I the only one who hates ffn's new account system? I honestly can't find my way around; I prefer the old left column links to these new top bar tabs.
5 Clothing Mishaps
1.
The shop keeper takes one slow look at the unlikely band of travelers in front of him and promptly sticks his nose in the air; "I'm sorry sir," he says, and eyes Vaan with barely concealed distaste, "but we are not that kind of establishment. Please take your…entertainment interests elsewhere. The rest of you, though, may enter."
2.
In the end, he knew he shouldn't have been surprised. Considering the prissy get ups the old man and Larsa always wore – how did they even manage to breathe with such tight collars on? –he could've easily guessed the tumultuous reaction his bare midriff would cause in the prudish city of Archades. But what he hadn't expected was the severe division of responses between the sexes. As he strolled around the city's plaza, he was taken aback by the sheer amount of men shaking their fists and glaring at him from all four directions. He might even have feared for his safety but one thing made it all worthwhile; hordes of young ladies, all different ages, kept flocking towards him. Wherever he went, there were girls. Tall ones, short ones; chubby ones, skinny ones. Giggly girls and simpery girls and girls who talked in breathy voices. And though Vaan never paid any attention to the fawning gaggle of girls – he only had eyes for one girl – he'd long ago found their use.
For wherever there were girls, Penelo was bound to be jealous.
And nothing tasted better than make-up kisses.
3.
Vaan never expected his second trip to Erupt to be so welcoming. Based on the events which occurred during his last visit, he'd swear the Viera would cast some fearful magick then boot him straight out of their tiny village, leaving him at the mercy of the prowling monsters. But no, this time all the scantily clad Viera were smiles and sunshine. Even Jote was clapping politely.
Nothing clicked in his head until one of the younger Viera – he thinks it was Myrn – approached him with a broad grin and slung an arm around his shoulders, declaring "You're one of us now."
4.
He almost didn't want to give up his blanket; he was so cold. In fact, he even wished he had invested in a shirt before they began their suicide trek across the Paramina Rifts. Nothing could have prepared him for this numbing freeze. He blew on his hands again. His muscles ached painfully in the icy chill. His teeth were chattering and each puff of breath rose and curled like steam in the frigid air. But Penelo was squirming too in her sleep. She looked so small shivering underneath the thin covers, her knees drawn up to conserve the heat.
And try as he might, he could never ignore her.
5.
Squeak
Tired, he clapped his hands over his ears. He was heading home, damnit, he did not need this. To be honest the noise had been bothering him for quite some time now. It began little over a week ago, with an almost inaudible creak. Except it didn't stay as a creak. Oh no, the sound gradually built up in momentum until it reached its zenith as this incessant high pitched squeak. He rounded another corner. Every day from sun up to sun down, it was squeak creak squeak creak. He wasn't even able to hear himself think anymore - not that he did a lot of self reflection before, but it was nice to have the option. Still griping, he spied Penelo and the kids playing near the fountains and instinctively his feet marched faster in their direction. But the worst part, he thinks, was not being able to pinpoint the exact origins of the sound. If it was a stalker rat, he'd squash it flat in a matter of seco-
"My god, Vaan! Are you rusting!?!"
Oh.